WANNABES

My native borough of Brooklyn, being not half as exiting as Manhattan, non the less can boast more strange characters running loose on its streets than the fair island itself; they are just different in their strangeness. For one thing, the northern part of Brooklyn is filled to capacity with what my sister nicknamed "Manhattan wannabes". They tried to imitate to the minute detail TriBeCa and Upper East Side combined ( and the real estate prices followed suite).

Not to be outdone, South part ( where yours truly resides) decided to follow suit, but in a slightly new direction. For one thing, where is a totally different ratio of hippies and yuppies to the general population; on the other hand, the ragtag band of the recent influx of immigrants (mostly illegal) is amply represented, my favorites being Muslims of any ilk and Russians (real ones, not Russian Jews). So, wannabes galore from all groups. There is only one problem: two cultural attributes of "in" neighbourhood are largely absent. Can you guess what they are, aside from the park? Trendy coffee shops, mainly Starbucks, and book superstores like Barnes and Noble.

To be fair to the denizens of my neighbourhood, I do not think a lot of them are pining for a book superstore. Coffee, on the other hand... In the absence of Starbie, here comes DD. The fact your you will be lucky if your "no sugar" would not be translatd into sickeningly sweet cup of weak joe does not usually deterr anyone. Every time you walk into one of them, you are guaranteed to see at least one bunch of strange (and sometimes smelly) characters discussing their business (shady or otherwise). Then, a few weeks ago, one dude pulled something totally hilarious (although at the time is was maddening, because he was right in front of me and holding up the line). That character ordered (ready for this) a caramel latte, 2/3 regular, 1/3 decaf, not too sweet, and some more specifications that I do not recall. Stupid idiot! Sure enough, about five minutes later he got something which was half regular, half decaf. He thought about it hard, left the store, came back and asked to add some more regular, because otherwise it was not strong enough; then he confounded it by asking for a very specific amount of cream! All he needed to do is not to pretend where he was, buy himself coffee (0r brew it at home), take the train, and then stop by Starbie on the way to work. This way, he was saving himself from about fifteen minutes lost in the morning rush, never mind the general disappointment. No, he wanted to pretend.

What really put me in the reminiscent mood was the following. There is a new "super luxury" condo attached ( and I mean glued to one wall) to my building. Due to the above mentioned glued wall, which successfully deprived some people of their windows, plus the amount of time the construction took, plus the prospect of the lost parking spaces, there was a certain amount of curiously attached to who eventually will occupy those condos.

Now, the contractor, being a true Brooklynite, had produced two "penthouse" suites on top of the "super luxury". That alone is hilarious: the best few from those penthouses would be the Verazzano bridge; the rest is a very panoramic view of South Brooklyn, slightly obscured by the church on the corner. So, finally, somebody bought the cheaper penthouse suite (the one attached to the above mentioned wall). Then, few weeks later, I observed something totally incredible: there was a whole bunch of laundry, including the unmentionables, drying on the line on the balcony of that penthouse! Here is something you would never see on Upper East Side!

Hurray for South Brooklyn!! Even our wannabes are one of a kind!