The Best Motto

Gd, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannon change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

You woke up this morning - Congratulations! You got another chance!

Monday, November 05, 2018

MORNING UPDATE November 29, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is pretty decent for November - sun is always good. 

Did not see any mention of Bieber or Gomez in the news for the past 2 days - must have been agonizing for news reporters. But guess who got into the news again? It you said Lindsay Lohan, you get a star - she got arrested again for punching a woman in a bar in our fair city. And another hairdo also makes news - this time it's Duchess Kate; she got bangs, so, to quote one of my fave movies, "her hair is so "now"! Another one from across the pond - last week someone called Lily Allen (looks to be a singer) who is pregnant, fainted at Harrods, but was very happy that she got her nephew Snape's wand - wow, that's what I call devotion to Harry Potter. And yet another hairdo makes waves - Evangeline Lilly got "shaggy" cut; as I have never been as Lost fan, that somehow does not do anything to my blood pressure. And Egypt condemns Terry Jones to death (in absentia) - I think it's time to follow Ann Barnhardt's example; unfortunately, unlike her, we are not "armed better than the French army"; bummer! And a phrase "it is what it is" is on the list of 10 phrases that are never to be used at work again - another bummer! I have a whole list of former bosses to rub their nose in that particular suggestion. And last, but not least - Mariah Carey performed together with Santa - but her dress was definitely not suitable for the North Pole. Ordinarily, such displays make me a little sad - but this time: "First cousins, eat it!" 

Coffee this morning in my huge Winnie and Friends mug - gosh, I miss the original Disney store!

MORNING UPDATE November 30, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is seasonal, but not so bad. 

Justin Bieber is still suspiciously absent from the news - what gives? Our fair city of New York is the second holiday destination for the country; the first - Orlando; heck, I wouldn't mind going to Orlando for the holidays myself - mainly to escape the crowds in the second holiday destination. And America is only #16 country out of best places to be born - please tell this to all the invading human trash at our Southern border! Let them invade somewhere else - and we could have children in more peace, without being taxed to support anchor babies, gangs, and criminals. And here is from Forbes: "Red states may have lost the elections, but they are gaining residents." Well, color me surprised! Really?!! You don't say! Out of the five metro areas that are steadily gaining residents, 3 are in Texas and 2 in Florida - wow, I am simply stunned! Tempted to go to Houston myself, come to think of it. Then we have chocolate that we can eat "with less guilt" - oh, go to the warm basement! Why do we have to feel guilty for eating, hell and damn?!! Food is a gift from the Almighty - eat and enjoy, bless your innards!! 

Coffee this morning will probably be in disposable cup from the local DD.

MORNING UPDATE December 2, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing you all a great week filled with His Blessings! Happy December! The weather is..seasonal. 

Bieber is still suspiciously absent from the news; so is Timberlake with his new wife, and Katie Holmes without her old husband - what gives?!! But, fear not - Kim Kardashian did make the news! She of the big bust and little brain decided to take her sexy derriere to Bahrain, of all places! Hell, why not Saudi Arabia, while she is at it? The genius simply boggles the mind - both hers and her fans'. And there is also a list of the best airlines for extra legroom in coach - people still have money to fly? TSA did not yet put them off flying completely? And there are also Holiday guidelines for the "newly single", and, surprise, surprise, they are all for women - oh, for pete's sake! Forget the effin bastard - he did not deserve you anyway! Just move on with your life and enjoy! And, finally, Kate Gosselin "opened up", claiming that her kids have "unconventional" Holidays - really?! You don't say! 

Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug.

MORNING UPDATE December 3, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather rocks - hurray for solar flares! 

Congrats to Will and Kate - they are expecting! Poor woman - admitted to the hospital with severe morning sickness, and that's how everyone finds out; being royal is not fun - unless, of course, you are Hussein and Michelle Obama. Lohan made the news again for two reasons - her ill-fitting dress and her accounts being seized by IRS; I like the fact that its on the same level. According to Yahoo, the top 1 search for this year was Elections - which is surprise to one and all; at #2 is Iphone 5 and at # 3 Kim Kardashian - now, both of those do not surprise me at all; Olympics were at #7, Lohan was at #9, and J Lo closed the ranks at # 10 - again, no surprises here; circuses rule because for now we still have plenty of bread, thank Gd. Heidi Klum is trending at # 5 right now because she dressed up as Cleopatra in a "belated Halloween bash" - well, at least her and her former husband not bashing each other, which is already good news. There is also a whole bunch of news about football which I do not understand, and, frankly, have no desire to understand. And, drum roll please, - no peep about Bieber! 

Coffee this morning in my Get A Grip mug; another picture on it - Paradise is a State of Mind.

MORNING UPDATE December 4, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is still warm - yay, solar flares! 

The big news, is, of course, the upcoming royal baby - and now the speculation points out to Kate's recent new hairdo, which supposedly hinted at her pregnancy. Some enterprising souls also run projections at what the kid would look like (both male and female version), and concluded that it would look adorable - yea, hopefully, Charles's ugly mug would not interfere. And there is also a discussion about her upcoming maternity style - sheesh! Eddy Murphy is currently trending at #5 as the most overpaid actor - no disagreement from this side of the aisle. And there is a government blog trying to reassure people re: doomsday at the end of this month - are Democrats voluntarily surrendering their positions and going home? Is Hussein admitting to the election fraud and all his other crimes and surrendering himself to the department of corrections? And Daniel Radcliffe is delighted that people know his real name and don't call him Harry Potter anymore - aw! 

Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE December 5, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is cooler, but still sunny - yay! The crazy upstairs got me worried for about a week, as I did not hear her vacuum - I guess it was broken, as I heard her loud and clear yesterday. Curry decided that it might be fun to come and snuggle with me in the morning, breathe heavily into my ear, and generally make a nuisance of himself. Also, this morning he wanted to get into my coffee - judging by his behavior, he does not really need extra caffeine running through his system. George just comes whenever he feels me turning in bed - the time of night or morning does not matter. 

Newly pregnant Kate Middleton seems to have taken the place of Justin Bieber in the news - the latest now is that she probably won't have a baby shower (why would she need one), but may give birth at the Buckingham Palace - well, considering the appalling state of the English hospitals, that might not be such a bad idea. On the bright site, Duchess Katherine is definitely easier on the eye than Bieber, and, unlike him, she has class. Jennifer Aniston thew in a "star-studded bash" with her fiancee to show off her xmus tree; her old rival Angelina is currently trending at #2, because she is thinking of quitting acting and dedicating herself to her kids and the charity work - please, spare me both her acting and her charity work. Heff's latest engagement is back on - I guess Viagra of Cialis or whatever he is taking is working again. There are also a whole bunch of sports news, which are totally incomprehensible, hence no comment on that. And, finally, Snooki decided to offer some parental advice to Will and Kate - which, as embarrassing as it is, still is far removed from embarrassed and humiliation caused by our dear comrade Hussein and parteigenosse Michelle on the front of American-English diplomatic relations. 

Coffee this morning in my Chanukah mug that Debbie gave me.

MORNING UPDATE December 6, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's cold and sunny again - well, yay for the sun! 

Well, both Kate and Bieber are back in the news - Kate was discharged from the hospital, and Bieber was not nominated for a Grammy; we, of course, could not go on with our day without knowing both. Then were was another long article on the theme of "men have feelings too" -boy, don't I know it. And Jane Fonda was talking about her secrets of staying sexy at 74 - well, being a traitor to your country definitely works. The sorority from Pen State is "under fire" because of their "racist" party photo - it looks like making fun of Mexicans is "extremely insensitive", but within their First Amendment rights - gee, thanks! Attacking Jews, Christians, and any kind of "whites', meanwhile, is not insensitive and does not draw any kind of fire. And the stars of Grease were reunited at the Ellen show after 30 years - another earth-shattering event. Amanda Seyfried showed up for the London premiere of the Les Mis in a dress made out of the wet suit material - basically, the poor woman got cold and was seen shivering; somebody forgot to remind her stylist that London in December does not have the same weather as Malibu. And, finally, guess who, or, rather, what, is trending at #5 right now? Will Ferrell's mustache! Not even a hairdo, just a mustache - sheesh! 

Coffee this morning in my glass Cappuccino mug.

MORNING UPDATE December 7, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's rainy, but not cold - so, pretty tolerable. George quietly climbed into my bed, and I was pleasantly surprised to to see a mound of ginger fur on my blanket. Curry is making a nuisance of himself by investigating my trash can and trying to hunt the fauna outside. 

Today is the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor - not surprisingly, it is not trending at the top ten. Jessica Alba is trending at # 5 because she turned out not to be pregnant, and there are no news on Kate's pregnancy, although it is still very much on everyone's mind. Bieber is eerily absent again. And, what's more, since the famous Jolie/Pitt engagement, there were practically no news on impending wedding and other trappings - did Brad get cold feet? Lindsay Lohan managed to get to #7, because she is selling her designer wardrobe to the second-hand store in order to raise cash - I honestly feel sorry for her. Gisele and hubby just welcomed their second child into the world - hummm, did they calculate the carbon footprint of that one? Jane Fonda cursed out Faye Dunaway because she wanted to play Bonnie - yea, lady, I am sure the Vietnam vets on whom you spat repeatedly really feel your pain. And, finally, "The Man Who Invented The Frappuccino Has Total Disdain For What American Coffee Culture Has Become" - dude, we should all have your problems!  
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug - ah, the naive time when I couldn't figure out why there were some many male couples around that fair city.

MORNING UPDATE December 9, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Happy First Day of Chanukah! The weather is, once again, yuk and blah - oh, well, December in our fair city. George was demanding attention the entire Shabat and all of last night; Curry again decided to breathe heavily in my ear early in the morning, and now he is running around the place with his tail four times its usual size.

Incidentally, it's the first day of religious Jewish Holiday - so, it is not trending at the top ten - heck, am I surprised! There are no news about Kate's pregnancy per se - darn it, Bess, fess up! Public has a right to know and needs to know! Still no news about Bieber - is he OK?!! Kim Kardashian is trending at #3 right now - but this time because her cat passed away; that is truly sad, and something I can totally relate too. Desperate Housewives is among the shows that got cancelled this year - giving Eva Longoria an unlimited time to campaign for the rights of illegals. And - drum roll please - Jessica Biel reveals a delicious tidbit about her husband Justin: he is an amazing baker! Aw, how sweet - pun not intended. Finally, yet another celebrity is under fire for her "fashion flub" - this time it is Jennifer Hudson. Well, after taking a peak at her outfit in question, this time I have to agree with the self-proclaimed arbiters of fashion - it did look like she got dressed in the dark.

Coffee this morning in my Chanukah mug that my friend Debbie gave me.

MORNING UPDATE December 10, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is a bit bla-y, but warm - we will take what we can. Curry decided not to breathe heavily in my ear last night - thank you, kitty! 

FB suggested that I like Dr. Oz's page and get slim - parteigenosse Michelle, go to the mirror and check your own butt; then go to hell! Incidentally, there is a similar story that is currently trending at #5 - when 3 friends got a check in the restaurant, they saw that the bartender dubbed them "fat girls" for the ease of recognition. What really amuses me in this story is the usual double standards of the media - I mean, if the embarrassment of the First Lady we have calls obese people the biggest threat to our national security, what the hell do you expect from the rest of the population? 

And BBC decided to make TV series out of JK Rowling's latest book - but as the nice Obama supporters at the local library still did not let me lay my hands on a copy of this book, I can't offer any personal remarks on this subject. 

Bieber is still absent from the news! WOW! Kate got another bout of severe sickness. Also, Brad, when the heck are you going to tie the knot already? I mean, after a thorough diamond discussion - crickets. New Mrs. Timberlake is in the news again - this time because her new movie flopped. I am sure Justin is busy baking her something to lessen the blow. 

And on the fashion front - Shania Twain and J Lo are in serious competition as to who wore the cat suit better. Well, do you want an honest judgement? Bring a bunch of our first cousins and show them one picture at a time - whichever image causes them to have a heart attack first...Well, you get my drift. Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Bean Bag mug with the seven dwarfs.

MORNING UPDATE December 11, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! Happy Third Day of Chanukah! The weather is pretty decent for December - hopefully, will still be able to wear flippies today. 

Still no mention of Bieber - wow! No news on royal pregnancy as well - bummer. 

Also, there is a whole list of what not to do at an office holiday party - how about just not to get roaring drunk and not to photocopy your butt? 

News on the fashion front - Carrie Underwood and her short peach number - well, it sure was sparkly. And Ann Hathaway decided that the best way to avoid paparazzi at her wedding day is just to flip them - I really don't know who has more class in this particular scenario. 

And yet another bunch of suggestions as to what is age appropriate and what is not (only for women, of course) - a pox on the suggestors! 

Also, more suggestions on how to make kids smarter - well, how about using those strange collections of paper in between cardboard? What are they called again? Oh, yes, books!! 

And couples are rushing to get married on 12-12-12, as it happens once in a century, and nobody will forget the anniversary - bwahaha! Leave it to men - they will forget, no matter what! Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE December 12, 2012

Good Afternoon, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Happy Fourth Day of Chanukah! The weather rocks (for December)! Curry finally left the ranks of freeloaders yesterday - and Benny finished the second round of his claw-clipping at the same day.


Britney Spears beat Taylor Swift as the top-earning musician - yippee for both! 

Bieber is finally in the news - yay!! He turned out to be the most "re-twitted" celebrity - my heart weeps for our youth. 

No news on Kate's pregnancy as of yet, but now Jenna Bush is pregnant - congrats! And Channel 176 (style) is promising faithful reports on Kate's wardrobe - from "bump to baby"; sheesh, can't wait! 

This time J Lo is under fire for her "fashion flub" - it looks like she showed up in stained white leather pants; I guess she decided that she is a regular mom at around 8 am. 

Tom Cruise has "very special plans for Christmas" - he is going to have all his kids with him; aw - the beauty of being twice divorced. 

 And new reports show American 8th graders "lagging behind" yet again - thank you, teachers unions and The Teacher's College! 

 And Obama chia head is on the least of the worst holiday gifts, according to Marie Claire - guess why? Not because it shows the cult of personality gone made, but because it's "controversial" - go figure. 

Coffee will be in white glass from Target. And, on the separate note, this will be my last news and mug report for a while. Live long and prosper!

MORNING UPDATE December 18, 2012

Hello, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is nice, warm, and sunny, although it gets cold at night.

As usual, the liberals, independents, left-wingers, progressives, pinkos, and other assorted self-righteous big mouths did not disappoint; they are extremely predictable in the virulence and moronism of their vitriol, but never disappointing. Another funny thing about arguing with that cabal is that they do not accept any data that comes from Fox, Rush Limbaugh, etc, but expect you to accept as a valid argument anything that comes out of MSNBC, ABC, NBC, Politico, HuffPo, and other propaganda machines. 

On the more serious news front - "the sexiest man alive is about to become the sexiest dad alive"! - Channing Tatum's wife is pregnant; well, congratulations! 

Britney Spears is currently trending at #4 due to the rumors of possible split from her fiancee - well, better to break up before the wedding and 2 kids. 

There are also only 3 days left to apocalypse, and so far only 5 myths were debunked - well, we don't have a lot of time to wait and see. Also, it looks like you are supposed to go so some kind of little village in France for the said apocalypse - well, the village is already full. 

Bieber is again suspiciously absent from the news - I guess he is also preparing. 

And some kind of astrologer predicted big year for Brad Pitt, Christina Aguilera, and Katie Holmes - as long as Obama is impeached, indited, and convicted in 2013 together with his entire kabal, I don't begrudge any celebrity a fantastic year. 

No coffee - only delicious lychee flavored green tea.

MORNING UPDATE December 20, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is nice and sunny, though very windy - today there is a sand storm. Tomorrow is supposed to be the end of the world, which Jewish women will not notice because they would be busy with cooking, shopping, cleaning, running after the kids, and trying to make their husbands at least partially useful.

And now for the news: an American was crowned Miss Universe - expect a lot of annoyed non-American.

Bieber is still quite - well, we only have to wait till Sunday (provided there is no end of the Earth as we know it). 

Kate debuted what some dubbed a maternity dress - I think it was just something strange looking, but what do I know.

Jenny McCarty is rocking age defying bikini body - to quote Batgirl, chicks like her give women bad name. Also, how about rocking age defying brains and kindness? 

And Obama produced the "cutest photo yet" - where is the spittoon when you need one? 

Angelina Jolie to direct the movie version of "Unbroken" - another spittoon moment. 

And, finally, Suri Cruise received a 24 G playhouse from her mommy as a holiday gift - these people definitely love scale.

No coffee, just Wysotsky tea of unrecognizable taste - quite good, actually.

MORNING UPDATE December 24, 2012

Hello, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is sunny and beautiful for the second day, although at night it gets cold. A few days ago I was told "Hello", followed by assertion that I look exactly like my little niece. Also, my wardrobe is making tiny waves in strange places - although I am flippie-less, damn it!


And now, for our regular broadcast: no news on Kate's pregnancy, but she and Will are spending the birth of the Jewish boy with her family - well, who wants to spend any amount of time with Charles and Camilla, unless they absolutely have to. 

Chelsea Clinton is trending on #4 right now because "she might step into bigger political shoes" - oh, Gd help us! 

In the fashion news: Katy Perry's ugly sweater - at least she was dressed, and did not campaign for Hussein O. 

Also, my friends from "pro-gun" groups are signing the petition to deport Piers Morgan - as much as I detest that weasel, I think we should get our deportation priorities straight: illegal rabble first, legal ungrateful swine second, potential terrorists third, liberals, Democrats, and Obama voters - fourth, and then we can start on the media bastards.

And, last, but not least - Kutcher and Kunis are spending the Special Birthday in his home town - I am sure the locals were thrilled about the news. 

Instant hazelnut coffee in the bigger mug.

MORNING UPDATE December 26, 2012

Hello, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Happy Boxing Day! The weather is mix of sun and clouds, with dew in the evening and really cold nights. Was recently informed, with grins and giggles, that I don't look scary at all.

Peter Parker's death is trending at #1 right now - oh, hell, even SpyderMan can't survive the current regime! 
Jessica Simpson will suspend being a sponsor of Weight Watches while pregnant - duh! 
Lady Gaga is #4 of "the most charitable celebrities" because of her support of LGBT group - triple barf.
Kirsten Stewart is a strawberry blond in real life - I am officially surprised. 
Jennifer Aniston spent the holiday in Mexico - could she please stay there?! 
No news on Kate and Will - I think they are still hiding by her parents. And speaking of Kate - it looks that I mentioned her so much that FB keeps offering me to join the group that diligently follows all the news about her - spare me! At least they stopped offering me the Dr. Oz group for loosing weight - some progress. And Bieber is probably still hiding in that French village waiting for the end of the world - as there are no news on him. 

Instant coffee in the smaller mug in the morning, green lychee tea in the big mug now.

Monday, December 25, 2017

WE BUY FLOWERS

This year, just like many years before, August 2nd came and went without any special fanfare, sandwiched between other days and weeks of working drudgery, worrying about money, getting headaches from the news, etc, etc, etc.

But once upon a time, August 2nd was a very special day – because it was our parents’ wedding anniversary; and as far as I could remember, I always tried to make it special.

August of the year 1988 saw our entire family in Italy – and not in any romantic way.  We were in the middle of our longish road from the Communist USSR to the blessed free soil of the United States.  At that moment we were stateless and poor like the proverbial church mice – because the Communists, in their benevolence, made sure that anyone crossing the Iron Curtain did so as unburdened by personal possessions as possible.

But it was our parents’ wedding anniversary!  We had to do something special for them, no matter what!  So, finally, we hatched a plan – we will pull our ice cream money and buy them flowers; but not just any flowers – a fancy bouquet from the flower shop, wrapped in the clear cellophane, enhanced with Baby’s Breath and decorated with curly ribbons! (yes, in the glorious country of the developed Socialism such flower arrangements were absolutely unheard of).

Going without ice cream in order to make a nice surprise for our parents was not a problem – but actually getting the blessed bouquet was.  You see, our fellow immigrants being, well, homo soveticus, behaved in a manner of non Kosher animals to the point of completely antagonizing the usually warm-hearted and friendly Italians (to a point that nobody, especially in a fancy store, wanted to serve anyone Russian-speaking).  So, yours truly, being an older sibling and the only one speaking a language other than Russian (at that point I was actually pretty fluent in German), was designated to perform an actual purchase.

August 2nd arrived, and we all trooped to the fanciest street in Ladispoli for the fancy flower store.  I breached the castle and pretended to be an Austrian; in retrospect, I don’t think the Italian chick was fooled, but she answered all my questions, and then proceeded to take my selection (three gorgeous flowers whose name completely escapes me in any language) to be wrapped.  While I was waiting for her to finish curling the ribbons, my beloved sister (who probably lost patience waiting for me outside) burst in and completely blew my cover by yelling in Russian “It didn’t work, did it?!”


Don’t despair, oh gentle readers.  We did end up presenting that magnificent bouquet to our parents; if the memory serves me right, Baby Bro was the official bouquet-bearer.  Ah, the strange memories that pop into one’s head….

Sunday, July 02, 2017

NUMBER 600

Wow, this is post number 600 to this blog - I feel sorta accomplished.  As it is customary by now, I am dedicating this entry to someone special.

That extra special person is my youngest niece - who was born almost three years ago!  (OK, I am a disorganized person with OCD - go figure).

She was born on a very interesting night: the night her hometown of Ramat Bet Shemesh got the first (but not the last) siren of the Operation Protective Edge - speaking of interesting times.  She is the second member of our family to be born in the Holy Land - and therefore would be called Sabra Two on these here pages (although initially, I dubbed her Raisinette).

She is the spitting image of the baby pictures of her mother - as well as mine (genetics is a funny field).  She has a mop of fluffy, curly hair, and she wears the elegant outfits inherited from her oldest sister with panache.  She communicates in the flawless mixture of English and Hebrew.  She knows what she wants, and she is fearless in trying to get it.

She grows far, far away from me, and I miss her every day.


Tuesday, June 09, 2015

MORNING UPDATE - January 2, 2015

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's sunny and windy outside - a perfect January day. George settled on turkey for now - and also went to his old habit of playing with the toilet paper. Sniff waits for me to wake up and then gently leads me into the kitchen - even if the food bowl if full.
The Singing Slavs disappointed us this year again by not performing on New Year's night.
The crazy upstairs now performs her routine in the middle of the day.
The price of eggs still looks like they were laid by some kind of exotic golden hens.
The sadists at Youtube decided to bombard me with ads for Nassau and Paradise Island.
Currently trending at #7 is Kim Kardashian - because she is insisting that she is not pregnant. Another win for humanity.
"Obamacare tax surprise looms for some enrollees" - why in blazes is it still a surprise?!
"US sanctions North Korea" - North Korean dictator is officially shaking in his ugly suit.
There is apparently is list of 10 "best countries to retire to" - needless to say, good old US of A is not on it. But 5 out of 10 are located in Central and South America - where it's bloody dangerous to vacation, never mind living!
"Mistakes parents make when choosing baby names" - which, of course, are the worst mistakes parents can make.
"2015's biggest fitness trends" - how about just getting off your butts and doing what you like, not what's "trendy"?
And, finally, as Kate is due somewhere in April, people waist no time trying to figure out what the future holds for her, Will, and Georgie.
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug from LA.

MORNING UPDATE - December 25, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! Merry Day Off to me!!! It's beautiful December day outside, which I am very happy to observe from my window. Due to certain circumstances, George ended up eating Friskies today - which he consumed without any protest and asked for seconds; which, in turn, made Baby Bro call him a typical American who loves junk food. Sniff did his usual devil-chasing exercises in the morning and is now happily napping on the couch.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent.
Yet another celebrity who decided that she can write a whole series of children's books - Whoopi Goldberg.
Currently trending at #2 is Scott Disick - because he and Kourtney are supposedly "done having kids". On behalf of kids everywhere - thank you!
Trending at #10 is gourmet hot chocolate - why the hell isn't it at #1?!!
"Russia sides with North Korea" - why is this such a surprise?
"Mind games to aid workouts" - you exercise or your health goes south! What other mind games do you need?!!
"How to regift without getting caught" - classy.
"Is One Direction tired of its first hit?" - personally, I am tired of One Direction and the heavy books about them I have to constantly shelve.
"Obama's personal chef to to leave White House" - considering that he was also a "senior adviser for nutrition policy", he probably decided to call it quits before hungry kids from across America will come together to pelt him with their disgusting school lunches.
A dude was "escorted" off the American Airlines flight "after flipping out over staff's 'Merry Christmas'" - he is invited to spent a month in Iran, or Saudi Arabia, of Qatar, or Yemen, and enjoy religious toleration in there.
"How Jennifer Lopez keeps getting younger and younger" - um, desperation?
Coffee this morning in my personalized mug from Hershey Park.

MORNING UPDATE - December 12, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is so far not bad for a December day in our fair city. George went back to eating turkey. Sniff is fighting with imaginary devils once again.
I don't know which governmental agency is responsible for the price of eggs, but I would like to thank them - deeply, warmly, from the bottom of my heart!
The crazy upstairs woke up late, but with a vengeance.
Regnery sent me an email claiming that women read much more books per year than men and as such, books would make a great gift for a woman - well, duh!
Speaking of emails - I did not know that Jeb Bush and I are on such friendly terms.
All currently trending top ten are basically different gift options; at #10 are cashmere socks - wow, who knew you could have such luxurious almost undies!
"L.A. preps for Big One" - meaning they are anticipating a huge earthquake. Considering their voting propensities, I would suggest that they already got hit with the Big One - and help hit the rest of the country.
"America's biggest closet hits the market for $13M" - three story closet with a staircase!!! Wow! Texans don't do anything small.
"Why models' abs aren't all that healthy" - really?!! You need another explanation of that one?!
"Snooki opens Etsy craft shop" - the lady is truly multi-talented!
Our own New York city is a #2 travel destination for Christmas - that's why yours truly avoids Midtown like the plague for the entire month of December.
"The vast majority of vegetarians and vegans go back to eating meat within a year" - I am sooo surprised!
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - December 5, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is acceptable for the beginning of December - but not the best. George decided that he prefers fish now, and Sniff got over his fright of being lost.
The TV was showing Walker, Texas Ranger, of all things - and, of course, this time it was mute!
Currently trending at #4 is Alicia Keys - because of her new song "We Gotta Pray". Of course, she was compelled to add that "We (the blacks, I assume) absolutely feel disregarded as human beings". What's ironic is that one image in her video shows young "palestinian" girl holding a sing "Ferguson with love from Palestine" and another image showing a civil rights march clearly showing a dude who looks like an Orthodox Jew marching with black guys. Good work, Alicia! To quote a popular book - you never disappoint!
"Why you should add tea to your skin-care routine" - because "at least one celebrity facialist is a fan of applying tea directly to the skin". So, here you have it straight from the horse's mouth - run to smother your faces with tea!
"This winter's best beers" - they change from winter to winter?
There is a shortage of L.L. Bean boots! Good work, comrade Hussein, good work!
Disney is producing a line of "Frozen" make up for adults - oy gevalt!
An artist based right here in Brooklyn created pizza bedding - it looks a little scary, if you ask me.
"Potato skin snack" - another sign of a booming economy: instead of throwing away the potato peals, we can turn them into a snack!
Our own borough of Brooklyn was named the "least affordable place in the U.S."! What people find here still eludes me.
An owl was spotted swimming in Lake Michigan.
And, finally, Will and Kate are due to arrive in our fair city on Sunday - I wonder if that would increase the amount of crazies in the store.
Coffee this morning in the disposable cup from the bagel store next to the blessedly quiet laundromat.

Monday, June 08, 2015

MORNING UPDATE - November 28, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! Happy Black Friday! To all my friends at the store and all the rest of the retail workers - good luck! My thoughts and prayers are with you.
The weather is very typical for the end of November - very grateful that I don't have to go anywhere today. The prodigal Sniff is sleeping the cat house, and much pacified George only complains about his food now.
The crazy upstairs is manning her position.
Currently trending at #3 is High Hefner - because Kendra Wilkinson was talking about sex with him. No more details needed, thank you.
"Perfect after-holiday meals" - oh, for effs sake! Leftovers!
"Genius cleaning gift ideas for neat freaks" - don't know if neat freaks should rejoice or be insulted.
"Lustworthy winter boots" - in my humble opinion, if you are lusting after boots, it's time for some therapy.
"Prosecco tops Champagne in bubble sales" - if this is another way to annoy French and kick at their infernal arrogance, I am all in.
"Watch a drone deep-fry a turkey" - guys, enjoy yourselves!
"How gratitude can actually make you happier" - that one still needs to be proven and discussed?!!
"Justin Bieber Makes Thanksgiving Snowman With Pastor's Daughter: Picture" - thanks, no pictures needed.
And, finally, Kate was spotted shopping for bargains somewhere in Norfolk - did we inject her with our fever?
Coffee this morning in my new Cinderella latte mug.

MORNING UPDATE - November 14, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's sunny, windy, and freezing outside - global warming, my coccyx! Cats are snoozing in the warm spots of their choosing. George impersonated Sniff's demented running this morning - go figure.
Only two out of three TVs were working, and one had some kind of Spanish channel on - at least I did not understand what they were babbling about.
The crazy upstairs is doing well.
Currently trending at #2 is Ashton Kutcher - because his baby "is very cute." Well, my nieces are way cuter.
The "hottest name" to give a baby girl is Violet - because of Garner's and Affleck's daughter. Like, really?!!
"Cyrus, Schwarzenegger's son go public" - yikes! Arnold, good luck, buddy!
Kim Kardashian was photographed in the buff - yawn.
"Heavy Thanksgiving traffic on the horizon" - as opposed to other years, when it was very light?
"Salad-making mistakes" - mistake #1: not making one; mistake #2: listening to the so-called experts.
"Cocktail bucket list" - somebody dreams in very restricted terms.
"200 French police and military forces are trying to hunt down a large feline that is slinking around the city (Paris)" - 200 armed people to find one huge cat?!!! Go, France!
"Justin Bieber could face international arrest order" - could they just keep him in Argentina already?
And, finally, Kate and Will will be dropping by to visit DC and our fair city - one lives on tenterhooks trying imagine how would our so-called mayor and our so-called president manage to embarrass us once again.
Coffee this morning in the disposable cup from the overpriced bagel shop next to the blissfully-quiet and almost barbarian-free laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - November 11, 2014

Good Morning, peep! Happy Tuesday! The weather is simply magnificent for a November day in NYC! Sniff and George are taking turns to enjoy the fresh air via the kitchen window.
Yesterday I sort of joined the 21st century, downloaded the Kindle app, and started using Amazon's services. Liberal a-holes in charge of our libraries, rejoice! You just delivered another customer to the greedy capitalist pig corporation!
The crazy upstairs is alive and very well.
Some kind of "bestselling author and and war-zone photographer" was telling a whole story about how she could not get a retail job in The Container Store - um, oh bright and genius writer and photographer, maybe working retail requires slightly different talents than the ones you displayed?
"Elizabeth Banks steals the show in dreamy gown" - a truly remarkable achievement!
"Chelsea Clinton on motherhood" - yea, considering what a shining example of motherhood she herself had growing up, good luck to her and to baby Charlotte!
Shailene Woodley might have a new boyfriends - eh, congratulations?
"What Americans crave more than sex" - sleep, baby, sleep!
"Calvin Klein calls size 10 model 'plus size'" - wow, am I surprised! You could have knocked me down with a feather!
"Male grooming tips" - "how to grow the perfect beard". Personally know a lot of people who can benefit from this advice.
"How to enroll in Obamacare" - oh, wait, wait, wait! It's not easy, cheap, and consumer-friendly? Wow!
Beyonce and Jay Z are hoping for a "Parisian pregnancy" - because, apparently, it is way different than, say, New York or LA pregnancy. Well, how about a Paris birth as well? Let them run their shenanigans in France.
According to some expert over at TMZ, Justin Bieber "could be a Pro Boxer" - I guess because he so looks the type.
And, finally, "Kaley Cuoco recycles her pink wedding dress" - who said you can't wear your wedding dress whenever the mood strikes?!
Coffee this morning in my Life is Delicious mug.

MORNING UPDATE - November 7, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's chilly, but still nice outside. Both felines are providing us with an unending entertainment which also includes a robotic fish.
At work it's now that magical time when we, all being Harry Potter fans, have to impersonate him and his friends by magically stretching the shelves.
Meanwhile, the Jew-faces here, on the home front, used up all the hot water yet again.
The crazy upstairs is doing her usual stuff.
Currently trending at #1 is Valerie Bertinelli - who "Recounts The Day She Was Dissed by Christina Aguilera". I sincerely hope that she counted that as a blessing.
OK, correction: Hugh Hefner just climbed to #1 - because his son "Shares What It Was Like Growing Up in the Playboy Mansion". Ughhh and double Uhhhg!
Keira Knightley is at #9 - because she "Poses Topless to Protest Against Photoshop". What is it with naked and half-naked protesting?
"Cops called on nanny" - I guess one of my co-workers finally had enough.
"Khloe Kardashian Sends Lamar Odom Very Public Birthday Message" - classy, as usual.
"Best CMA Awards bodies" - OK, left-wingers, you have really gotten too far this time! Bodies because of innocent jokes?
"World's fastest golf cart" - an early Christmas present to comrade Hussein?
Rachel Bilson had a baby girl - the poor kid was named Briar Rose. But, hopefully, she won't be teased too much while growing up if you consider other celebrity baby names.
"How to wear red lipstick" - um, the same way you wear any other shade?
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - November 4, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is simply rocking - especially considering that it's November. 
Sniffy really wanted to go and vote with me - had to remind him that neither he, nor his roommate are registered (yet). Of course, the said roommate did not really care one way or another.
Speaking of elections - I got a sticker for voting!! Yay! So, peeps, just go and do it - at the very list, you cancel out the liberal vote and get a sticker for it!
Currently trending at #4 is Kim Kardashian - because she is supposedly "getting fit for the second baby". Somebody please alert the child services!
Miley Cyrus is "seeing" Patrick Schwarzenegger - good luck, Arnold! I sorta forgot how to say in German "son, you are a moron!"
"Angelina dishes on married life" - claims "it does feel different". Well, duh - congratulations on proving the axiom!
"Hefty annual price tag of bringing up a kid" - if you are a working taxpayer, that is. If you are a freeloader or illegal invader, the price tag is slightly different.
"Is daycare or a nanny better for your child?" - well, if you live in the vicinity of Union Square, nanny is not a good option for your kid.
"White House places blame" - why is this news? White house has been placing blame non-stop since January 2009.
And, finally, Will asked his grandma to make his daddy the king after she steps down - Brits, you are royally screwed! (pun not indented)
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - October 31, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's cold and cloudy outside - typical October in our fair city.
George decided that he prefers turkey (at least for now). Sniff finally figured out all our tricks of preventing him from leaving the apartment, and now it's just fun to watch him trying to trick us.
Due to poor planning ended up with half a gallon of Chalav Israel milk.
The crazy upstairs is alive and well, so the local precinct can rest easy - at least in this matter.
Currently trending at #1 is Ellen DeGeneres - because she dressed up as Amal Alamuddin for Halloween. The end result was, well, a bit strange.
Trending at #7 are Elsa and Anna - I guess for no other reason but for the fact that they are Elsa and Anna.
Big Bang Theory is at #10 - because Kaley Cuoco got a Hollywood star. Enjoy, Kaley!
Paris Hilton "globally dominated" fragrance industry for the past decade - as usual, consumers went for the name, because if you close your eyes, you won't be able to differentiate between Paris's fragrance and about twenty others.
"Haunted White House" - "How Obama, White House celebrate Halloween". There is no need to dress up at all, Michelle and Barry, as you resemble ghouls and Dementors the 365 days a year, not just on October 31.
"Miley's next big move: going glam for good cause" - of course, "good cause" just happens to be the one that Hollywood and lefties support.
"The best drinking tours in America" - let's go, people!
"How to shop for steak" - um, you go to the butcher's counter?
According the new study, US does not treat new parents as well as other industrialized nations - unless, of course, we are talking about illegal invaders, which, of course, the study did not account for.
No news on Bieber - but he is still alive and still did not decamp back to Canada.
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE - October 24, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy First Day of Rosh Chodesh! Ladies, I know that it's Erev Shabat, so it's pointless to remind you to keep it light on the housework - but please make sure hubbies give you gifts!
The weather is improved somehow and is actually pretty decent for the end of October. 
The heat is on, so Sniff returned to his ninja sleeping position - half on the radiator, and half in the cat house. George also has a fave relaxation pose - he assumes the phoenix pose on the Baby Bro's bed and sticks exactly one claw into the curtain.
Yet another celeb who decided to write a picture book - Bethenny Frankel.
Yesterday had to assist two space cadets simultaneously with Percy Jackson books - but if one was nice, smile-y, and grateful, the other one took it upon himself to prove that I am a moron (proving instead that he is a water buffalo).
Big announcement - although the original Singing Slavs retired for no apparent reason, their baton was recently picked up by a younger group!
The crazy upstairs is really scaring me into thinking of calling the police and checking on her.
Currently trending at #2 is North West - because, according to her mommy, she "will have a job". Afraid to find out the details.
Trending at #3 is Jessica Simpson - because her one year old son "is killing us with cuteness." Gun control enthusiasts rest.
Trending at #8 is Pippa Middleton - because of her claim of not dieting. Yea, lady, pull another one.
On the other hand, "Selena Gomez shares her elaborate beauty rituals" - spare me!
"Honey Boo Boo cancelled" - people with taste, rejoice!
And speaking of gun control - Rihanna is in hot water for her recent appearance with a purse shaped like a gun! This time common sense rests, once again.
"Why Lena Dunhan died her hair mint green" - who exactly gives a flying banana?
"Adult treats for Halloween" - what, raiding your kids' stash is now passe?
Coffee this morning in a disposable cup from a bagel shop located next to a barbarian-overrun laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - October 22, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is yuck-y and blah-y - typical October day in New York.
George and Sniff are both parked on Baby Bro's bed - George is warming up the blanket and Sniff is impersonating the foot warmer.
Yet another celeb who thinks she can write a book for kids - (former) Queen of Jordan Ranya.
According to the latest issue of the National Geographic Traveler, "A company in the Czech capital of Prague has launched "corruption tours" to show where crooked civil servants have wasted taxpayers' money" - White House, anyone?
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent again - should I call the police?
Actress Tatyana Ali of the Fresh Prince fame went on about her "good hair" and "explained that having straight hair made her feel alienated from her friends and family with textured hair. “It was something that set me apart—and not necessarily in a good way—from other girls that I knew,” she said. “I felt like I was made to seem different.” Like, seriously?!! That was your problem during childhood?
Yet another preggo celeb who supposedly nails the maternity style - Blake Lively. After looking at the picture, I would politely disagree.
"Viagra was originally designed to treat cardiovascular disease" - wow! Live an learn.
Elizabeth Warren claimed that she had been "treated differently in the Senate", but "refused to elaborate". Well, maybe people got stunned while meeting her when they expected a Native American gal?
Halloween is approaching - and in honor of it we have a list of celebs who claim to have ghostly experiences. Since the list includes such notables as Hillary Clinton, Miley Cyrus, and Lady Gaga, I think it would have been so much better if they themselves were ghostly apparitions and not real people we have to deal with.
No news on Bieber.
And, finally, Kate is feeling much better and returned to her royal duties "in style".
Coffee today in my Harry Potter mug.

MORNING UPDATE - October 7, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is great for an early October day in our fair city.
Sniff can't decide which bed he prefers; George can't decide about which food he should complain more - chicken or turkey.
New York's finest visited our building earlier today - more barbarians, more visits.
Yesterday got an interesting customer who obviously mistook our place for a welfare office - because he assumed that if he would not scream and generally would not behave like an obnoxious boor, he would be denied service.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent.
Currently trending at #1 are Khloe and Lamar - for completely mysterious reasons.
At #2 is Jennifer Aniston - also with just a bunch of her pictures.
And at #5 we got "Kendall Jenner: A New Victoria's Secret Angel?" A laudable achievement, especially for her tender years.
Hugh Grant almost didn't get his part in Four Weddings and a Funeral because he was "too handsome". Seriously?! Cute, yes; handsome - spare me!
"Simone shocks Oprah!" - by claiming that she is not African-American, but just American. Sharpton's and Jackson's heads exploding in 5, 4, 3...
"Company names you may be pronouncing wrong" - disaster of unimaginable magnitude!
"(Megan) Fox's leather corset dress" - earth-shattering piece of news right there!
"How to avoid plane germs" - by driving your own car.
No news on Beyonce or Bieber.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug (a newer version).

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

MORNING UPDATE - September 30, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is on the slightly blah-y side. Sniff continues to ambush me in the small hallway; George can't figure out what he likes more - chicken or turkey.
Lena Dunham, and, on the smaller scale, Oliver Jeffries, are both gracing my workplace today, so, very, very glad for the day off - although did manage to have a strange dream about crowds outside of the store.
The crazy upstairs is on her usual post.
A very important piece of news that I did not report on due to Holidays - George Clooney's nuptials. Congratulations, World - here is another power couple from hell.
Another important news item that has gone unreported - Chelsea Clinton had a baby girl! Poor kid, to be born into that cesspool of a family!
Currently trending at #2 is James Franco - because he "finds dating difficult as he is 'shy'". Spare me, please!
Trending at #3 is Victoria Beckham - because she made it on the list of the 20 most stylish brides. For reasons unknown, the list included only celebs from this and last century. As a plebeian history buff, I strongly object to the list (although not to some of the names on it).
According to the new biography of Coco Chanel, "she despised flowery perfume" - that's probably why I despise Chanel perfumes.
"Avoid dating burnout" - too late for this one.
Beyonce suffered "wardrobe malfunction" during her latest concert - ladies, this is getting soooo old and boring.
"Why Gaga's no longer blond" - who cares?
"12 cemeteries you should see before you die" - thanks, but no, thanks.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - September 19, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Ever Shabat! The weather is beautiful - a treat in our fair city.
Sniffy decided that my bed is fun and comfortable after all. George demanded "human" turkey last night, which he practically inhaled - should I notify Empire that their cold cuts are beloved by cats?
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual.
The latest celebrity to publish a picture book - Keith Richards! So now we have extra strange and bohemian types wondering our floor, muttering "F--k, where is it?!"
A book by Nietzsche was discovered by yours truly about 3 weeks ago in the biography section and was put into a pile of books improperly shelved. A genius colleague of mine decided to re-shelve it in the history section, where I re-discovered it this week. If I find it again on our floor, this book will have an official title of The Wondering German.
Currently trending at #6 is free coffee - it looks like some outfits actually do offer free coffee this Friday!
"J. Lo's python 'Barbie Outfit'" - Jennifer, don't even try, as nothing will beat your green dress!
"A look back at the Spears-Federline marriage" - why?!!
"Hilary Clinton didn't feel independent until age 53" - America, on the other hand, is forever saddled with the legacy of her dear hubby's presidency.
"9 ways to kill time waiting in the iPhone 6 line" - or you can just go home and get a life.
"Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber cook dinner together" - really hope they did not poison each other (or maybe I do?)
And, finally, Prince Harry helped a little girl enjoy the concert by putting her on his shoulders - the concert was during a closing ceremony for the games for the wounded vets, and the girl's father was one of those vets.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.