The Best Motto

Gd, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannon change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

You woke up this morning - Congratulations! You got another chance!

Saturday, August 31, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 29

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is, well, August-y. George was extra cuddly last night, kept head-butting my hand and licking my arm and elbow. He ate his brunch almost without complaining and is now sleeping on my bed - this time hugging Sylvia Day's "Bared To You". Sniff spent most of the night in the cat house after being evicted from Baby Bro's pillow, gave us his usual I Am The Master Of The Universe looks in the morning, tried the new Amazon box on for size, and is now prowling the apartment and looking like an old Egyptian deity once again.
Last night we had to activate the Emergency Tea Kettle.
My inbox had offers not only from Christian Mingle (which is not new), but also from Latino Singles - which is. Curioser and curioser.
Lamar Odom was in top ten the whole day yesterday - he kept changing the position, so to speak, but he was always there. Today, however, he is suspiciously absent - what the heck happened?
"Why chicken prices are rising" - well, trying to keep to the printable language here...Because we have the worst President in the history of our country! But, no!! According to the people in the know (ready for it) McDonald's is to blame - because they decided to introduce chicken wings to their menu! Brilliant, simply brilliant!
If you want to look younger, try to eliminate salt from your diet - thanks, but no thanks.
Yet another hairdo made the news - this time it's Hayden Panettiere! Another one who got unflattering bangs plus bleached blonde look - I think she should fire her stylist.
Another celeb who should fire her stylist is Cate Blanchett - who is drawing fire for her spidery dress.
"When to book holiday travel" - when you can actually afford it.
"Foods you are eating wrong" - come again?
"Justin Bieber - His Shirtless Disease Is Spreading" - oy, gevalt!
And, finally, according to Hollywood Life, "Prince George Is Bringing Kate Middleton & Mom Closer Together" - duh!!!!
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 28

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is on the rainy side, but still not bad for August.
Russian neighbours rock - they play music at interesting hours and entertain with their everyday conversations.
George, as usual, is sleeping on my bed.
Sniff was looking at his food a bit too intently this morning, and I was wondering if he started to question the freshness of it as well as his roommate. But Baby Bro postulated that he is probably taken to emulating his mistress and praying before partaking of a meal.
Currently trending at #1: Matthew McConaughey, because he "shines in Dallas Buyers Club Trailer" - a worthy reason to shot up to the top.
Trending at #2: Lamar Odom. The latest on this worthy individual: he is not missing; he is in hiding; there are also speculations about his NBA career - all extremely fascinating stuff, I tell you.
Amber Valetta "credits her entire career to haircut" - at least it was something above her neck, and not below.
Jessica Simpson showed off first two pictures of her new baby - and so the trend continues.
Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are separated - I feel old, because I still remember them getting married, and that was 13 years ago.
"Rare $2,500 chicken is the "Lamborghini of Poultry" - oh, holy mackerel! I really don't want to know anymore.
Gwyneth Paltrow exercises with a broom, and that's what keeps her in that terrific shape she is in - oh, what an insult to witches that is!
The newest picture of Kate is now making different waves, claiming that she is just another celebrity who got her figure back after only one month of having a baby, and that sends negative message to women everywhere - if women everywhere, and especially their significant others, place that much stock in celebrity photos, I pity them and their progeny.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Bean Bag mug with Mickey and Friends - not to be confused with Disney Mini Bean Bag mug with Pooh and Friends.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 27

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is getting hot again - well, it is still August, darn it! George practically did not complain this morning, ate, drank, and is now sleeping on my bed. Sniff was very agitated yesterday because I kept moving stuff around my room, and he did not like that much. Also, Baby Bro claimed that the reason he likes to play machgiach while we are cleaning is to make sure we don't do too much damage to his fave places.
Ina was talking about cooking veggies, and somehow ended up with potatoes - yes, yummy yum yum! Anne is making chicken noodle soup with lemon, cinnamon, nutmeg, and white beans - ouch!
Crazy upstairs continues with her endeavors.
Baby Bro and I had interesting breakfast discussions re: messianic times.
Trending at #1 - McDonald's wings! It looks like McDonald's is adding them to the menu, so the big discussions follow - is it going to slain the competition or is it a big mistake, etc., etc., etc.?
Trending at #2 is Katie Holmes - because she was dancing with Jamie Foxx at some kind of Hampton's event.
Jon Gosselin is also trending at top 10 (he keeps switching places) - but he is here because his ex is suing him for hacking into her phone and computer - classy.
Basically, the old adage about bread and circuses is very much applicable.
"4 Surprising Things That Wreck Your Mood" - hum, let me guess? Morons, liberals, America haters, and Obama supporters?
Miley's and Gaga's performances "shocked" Jaden and Willow Smith - give me a break, will ya?
Celine Dion's "Florida oceanfront estate is for sale and features its very own tastefully designed water park" - tastefully designed according to whom?
"A huge hissing cat is roaming the streets of Detroit" - hum, kitty, wrong place to scavenge; they are broke!
"Secrets of Naturally Beautiful People" - um, um, um, teacher! Let me guess! Let me guess! Good genes?
"Best Stylish Workout Pants" - they are workout pants, for goodness sake! Go to a discount store and buy some leggings - you are set.
Bieber was hanging out with another ex-girlfriend - there must be something in the latest DSM for what this boy got; I am just too lazy to check it up.
And, finally, anyone who sent a gift or a card congratulating Will and Kate on Georgie's birth is getting a thank you note with a picture of three of them leaving the hospital on the front - cute and classy.
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug from LA.

Monday, August 26, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 26

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is not as gorgeous as it was yesterday, but still pretty nice. Poor Sniff was awaken around 5 am by Baby Bro's alarm clock, after which he was running around like crazy; later on he got into an obligatory scuffle with George, and is now resting on Baby Bro's rucksack. George was complaining around my bed the whole morning, finally ate what was served him, delivered a fresh injury to his cantankerous roommate, and is now peacefully snoozing on my bed.
Baby Bro was slightly concerned with my continuous cough, so he wanted to make sure I get extra Vitamin C - I love my siblings!
He also affixed a "love" stamp to his latest communication about jury duty - our family has a sense of humor, what can I tell.
Melissa's husband is French - he is also bold and ugly; another example of totally unsubstantiated rumors about French guys being the guys to die for.
Trending at # 1 is Lamar Odom - because he sort of went missing "Amid Claims of Drug Abuse"; I assume the story is still unfolding.
Guess who is trending at #2? Yep, his dear wife Khloe, of course - who "Slams Divorce Rumors". Good luck to both of you - and good luck to us getting away from your family dramas.
Trending at # 6 - MTV VMAs, what else?! All I can say is - after seeing a display of their outfits that they supposedly "rocked", freak show hardly covers it. Also don't hear anything from the official feminist camp - not a peep about over-sexualising women, or forcing them to demean themselves by appearing like sex workers, or their (supposed) talents being second as opposed to their bodies - nothing, zip, zilch, nada!
As a side note, this year's ceremony was held right here, in our dear borough of Brooklyn. Last night's news run "special reports" about it - the locals run the usual gamut of diametrically different reactions from "Brooklyn deserves to shine" to "there was no respect shown to locals, like we are second class citizens!". Surprisingly, the local muslim population was not interviewed - I guess they were too busy preparing to dance, once again, on the anniversary of 9/11.
"Why do the rich need so many bathrooms?" - seriously?! That's what concerns the public now?!
And, finally, "Russian Zoo Names Rare Albino Hedgehogs After Royal Baby" - why? Because all of the sudden they love Brits so much? Or because the baby is blond and hedgehogs are albinos?
Coffee this morning in my green Target mug.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 25

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a great week! The weather rocks today! Sniff spent another night in the cat house, spent a whole morning giving stink eye to me and Baby Bro in turn, and is now warming up my Barbies - particularly the Van Gogh one. George complaint just a tiny bit, then climbed on my bed, took a bath, and is now peacefully sleeping.
August is Read a Romance Month - well, my whole year is August, but I guess I have to redouble my efforts for the remaining week.
Drew Barrymore was floating in the news last night - because she was shopping with her BFF Diaz in Hamptons, and held a door for her. Man, oh man, what an Earth-shattering piece of news!
Speaking of travel - it looks like we have around 9 gardens right here, in USA, including one right here in the Bronx, that are just as wonderful as anything you would see in Europe! Wow! What a surprise!
Shocking new study revealed that single guys wash their bedding only four times a year! Gee, they needed the study for this?!!
Patrick Dempsey just started trending at #3 - because he bought into some kind of coffee company, then quarreled with his partner, and is now in the news because the partnership was finally dissolved to mutual satisfaction. Heck, don't remember that whole brouhaha at all - probably because I really, really, really don't give a flying banana about McDreamy.
"6 Things You've Been Cleaning Wrong" - you are welcome to come to my house and clean them right, or kindly hold your peace.
Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashain are "gym buddies" - aw, how sweet! Be still, my heart!
After Bieber got his then famous hair cut in 2011, he, apparently, gave it to Ellen DeGeneres, who sold it on e-bay for $40,668! For some reason, the name of the psychiatric institution is missing from this story.
And, finally, according to People Magazine, "Prince George has already mastered the job's two main duties: (1) getting bigger; and (2) thoroughly exhausting his parents." - what a bloody profound statement!
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 23

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is not bad - so far. Feline companions really tested my patience this morning, and are now resting from their hard labors. 
Was tortured by over 2 hours of CNN this morning! Whoever thinks it's a news service - serious or otherwise - needs to be medicated!
Two nights ago discovered another reason to love Trader Joe's - you can go there for kosher poultry around Holiday season! Better prices and nicer looking merchandise!
Currently trending at #1 is Elizabeth Hasselbeck - because now we know the official date of her start with Fox and Friends. Big deal!
Trending at #3: Third gender option - Germany is the first country to offer this option on a birth certificate. Come again?!! What third gender?!! It's either a boy or a girl - what else is there? Psychotic politically correct left-winger? That's not a gender - plus, it's not evident at birth.
Jennifer Hudson "becomes first black Disney princess" - she was dressed up as Princess Tiana in Annie Leibovitz's shot. Jeepers, what an achievement! Up there with developing the polio vaccine, that is.
Kanye "unveiled" the first photo of his daughter and added that he hopes she would look like her mother - yea, Kanye, she would benefit from looking like her mother more than from looking like you. Unfortunately, she would still have a combination of her parents' brains!
Julia Roberts was spotted on a beach wearing "poncho style" sweater instead of a bathing suit - as long as she was not doing her usual political garbage, I don't care in what get up she wanted to swim.
"Sorry Coffee Snobs, America's Favorite Is Still Folgers" - drat. I guess I am a coffee snob, as I don't like Folgers.
"Pattisson's Steamy Love Scene" - please spare me.
Coffee this morning in striped glass from Target.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 22

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is rainy and blah-y, but not too hot. Sniff had to be neutralized twice today: once when our mom came to visit (she is allergic to cats), and then to clean the bathroom in peace. By neutralized I mean locked in my room. Both times he just went to sleep in the cat house and gifted me with his "I am the king of the universe, and you are just a puny human look" upon being released. George, meanwhile, continues to give us occasional grief re: food freshness; and yesterday I received the intelligence report telling me that his counterpart at RBS does the exact same schtick.
Currently trending at #1: David Beckham, because, according to his wife Victoria, he does all the cooking! Well, in my opinion, that deserves fifth or tenth place, but not the first, because some guys cook for fun. If he was doing all the cleaning, all the laundry, and all the diaper changes - that would deserve the top place; cooking - not so much.
Trending at #2: Phil Robertson - because it looks like he turned down NFL for Duck Dynasty. Good for the redneck! Because now he still gets to rake in the money - but he can also shoot to his heart's content and, most importantly, not be bound by the rules of political correctness - double win.
Trending at #3 is Fifty Shades of Grey - because another bunch of rumors surfaced as to which actors are going to play the lead in the forthcoming movie. Well, considering Hollywood's almost unbroken track record of about twenty years of making sure to screw up even the silliest books when they try to produce a movie (Twilight comes to mind), I don't think it would make that much of a difference of who is going to play - as it is going to stink to high heavens regardless.
There are at least 10 "sure-fire ways" in which American tourists "embarrass" themselves outside of US - like being offended at being pushed in China, or not knowing at least a few phrases in French, or expecting to have a check ready shortly after a meal, or eating in instead of going out - wow, how bloody uncivilized of us! How dare we be offended at being pushed, or wanting to go on with our day after finishing our food, or opting to dine in, or not bowing down to the supreme snobbishness of French! Why the heck don't we just stay in our own extremely unenlightened country instead? And when people from more civilized corners of the Earth venture into our rough shores, we, in turn, would dearly appreciate the absence of BO, or the absence of men who think being disrespectful to women is fine and dandy, plus we would like the ability to walk during lunch breaks unhindered (just to name a few points).
Out of six items that are "essential" for every kitchen, I only got two - geez louse, how did I manage to cook all this time?!!
Justin Bieber is the celebrity that "most often reported to be dead on Twitter" - I guess there are plenty of people out there who express their wishful thinking in 140 characters or less.
And, finally, the maternity dress in which Kate posed for the latest pictures, is selling out - what a blinking surprise.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

THE PAINFUL TRUTH

My friends' son wanted a cat - very badly.  His parents, especially his mother, did not want him to have the said cat - also pretty badly.  And not because they are not cat people - but because they knew that, despite his solemn wows to take care of his feline, very soon it would be mother's responsibility.

So, they enlisted my help in trying to explain to the precocious teenager all the negatives of being a cat person.  He, however, was adamant; he will feed and water him or her, scoop the litter box, schlep him to the vet, give him medicine - the dude prepared himself for any and all eventuality.

Finally, I asked him the last question - how does he feel about cleaning kitty's puke?  The poor boy was stymied - puke?!! What puke? What do you mean? Well, I explained, they get hairballs (and even meds don't always help) - and they puke.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, what stopped the enthusiastic young man in his desire to have a feline companion.

STRANGE TROUSERS

I don't remember when, precisely, did the harem pants burst on the fashion scene - as anyone who knows me personally would attest, fashion is not on my top ten list. But for the last couple of years I have been reading periodic complains from the guys claiming that that is the ugliest piece of clothing they had ever seen, that seeing a woman in it really turns them off, etc., etc., etc.

In this case I have to agree with men. First of all, I really don't know how would any self-respected Westerner use the word “harem” in any kind of positive light, but, I guess, a lot of lefties attach too much mystique and romance to this concept. That, of course, is mainly a topic for another discussion; however, the fact remains – those blessed pants are butt ugly and the women wearing them usually look like they have a full diaper. The only pro argument I can see is that maybe they are super comfortable.

The other fashion item that have been boggling my mind for far longer, however, is what I call “extra long professional pants”. As far as I can see, they were designed to cover the whole shoe in case the wearer also has high heels on – which I, honestly, don't understand. What's with this Victorian urge to cover the feet and the shoes – especially if half the time you get cleavage on top? Not only this, but these pants are usually worn with low heels and flats, in which case they bunch up rather unattractively, collect the dirt from the floors and the ground, and get torn a lot of times. How is that professional attire?


Color me challenged in the fashion department, but I don't get either of these things.

MANY CHALLENGES

One fine Shabat lunch, which my friend was graciously sharing with me, amid the typical conversations that are usually forgotten in a hour or two, we had one that really stuck with me.

It all started with the talks about the “inner city youths”, with whom our borough is simply swimming, and whose fine representatives usually become (well, not to put a too fine point on it), public menace the minute they are dismissed from school. The funny thing is – and we basically all agreed on it – is that the majority of them are actually pretty harmless. If you ask me, all they need are both parents in their lives, decent role models, and someone with a brain and honesty who would explain to them that this is the best country in the world, and if they apply themselves, they could literally be anyone they aspire to be. But that is the discussion for another time.

Anyway, couple of ladies pointed out that even the scary-looking ones that loiter by the local 7-11 would usually open the doors, hold them, and say “here you go, ma'am” - especially if they see a woman with a stroller; and, that, unfortunately, our own dear youths would hardly be that polite in the same situation. We had an almost unanimous consensus by the table on that one – minus my friend's son in law.

He had a very interesting counter-argument. In his opinion, we should look at this situation from an opposite angle: when an urban youth really has no challenges aside from being decent to a passing lady with a stroller, a Jewish youth has many challenges in form of all the mitzvoth he has to observe, so he ends up trying to pick and choose which challenges he would really concentrate one, and in which he would just be more lax, so to speak.

I have to say that in my almost twenty five years of living in this wonderful community I finally developed a bit of thickness to my hide, so utterances like these stopped shocking me. And even though they never fail to raise my blood pressure, I also learned not to engage in too many arguments - simply because it's usually pointless.

However, the question still remains: who gave us the right to decide which “challenges” are we going to concentrate on and which ones we would not? We are all human and we all make mistakes – but when do we decide that instead of trying our best to serve Him, we will just arbitrarily decide what floats our boat and what does not? Moreover, when these kinds of decisions are made, why are they, without fail, always end up in favor of “bigger things” and atrocious manners? How come the need to be decent to your fellow human beings, never mind the fellow Jews, always ends up first on the list of things to be sacrificed in order to free your energy for the “bigger things”? And when will the simple realization dawn that if the situation is reversed, and a Jewish youth would block the blessed doors of the 7-11 from the mother of his “inner city” counterpart, or cut her off, of slam these doors in her face, he (and his parents) would be guilty of nothing less than hillul Hashem? When will this overblown gayva d'kiddusha (which long ago turned into simple gayva) will be substituted with the acknowledgment of the fact that we don't exist in a vacuum, and fellow humans would appreciate the same treatment that we ourselves would enjoy? And if learning Torah is paramount to our existence, when will we learn one of its many lessons: when Heavenly Father is the angriest at us, it is always in the situations when humans sin against each other, and not against Him?


I am glad to say that in our small circle my friend's sil was in the minority – one of the many reasons I love my friend and love visiting her. However, our arguments failed to persuade him, and after about fifteen minutes he simply decided to give up trying to prove his point, and that makes me pretty sad – because I know that he is by far not alone in his believe.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 21

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is definitely NY August - thank Gd for the windows facing North (and North West)!
George is in full Old Cantankerous Coot mode - yesterday he was complaining for about half a day about the freshness of his food, and this morning he woke us up with unusually loud demands for attention - and food! Finally, Jewish stubbornness prevailed, and he ate what was served him. Sniff did his crazy running and tail fluffing routine at least twice today.
Giada was cooking with lemons from her garden and got a pastel portrait of lemons from her friend - cute. Ina is making something called "deconstructed strawberry short cake" - also cute.
Currently trending at #1: Rapper DMX - because he was "arrested again by South Carolina police". Very, um, original, and definitely deserving the top spot in the news.
Trending at #2: JWoww - because he and Snooki got "Filming Permission in Jersey" - New Jersey, thanks again for providing us with high class entertainment.
"Aniston's go-to bikini" - how in the world can we go another day without finding that important tidbit out?! Simply boggles the mind!
"15 Tycoons Who Won't Leave Their Fortunes To Their Kids" - which shows once again that money does not buy you happiness, because that particular line is beyond sad - it's pathetic.
Among the "top 10 beers worldwide", #5 is produced in Namibian, and #9 - in Mozambique. Africans are starving, but still manage to make wow beers?!! Wow....simply wow!
"Why Benedict resigned as a pope" - I really, really don't care.
A dude proposed in a library using children's book - love it!!! In my book (pun not intended) that soooo beats that silly fancy restaurant gig!
Kate is being praised for using maternity dress to pose for her pictures with Will, Georgie and doggie - because it reminds people of the simple fact: women still need maternity after giving birth as they don't miraculously get their figures back right away. Waiting with baited breath for that dude from the Guardian to find something about old white privilege in there as well. Will, meanwhile, was complimented on his "candor about fatherhood" - I think this time an American publication should attack him for it, just to keep things interesting.
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 20

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is returning to the August usual, dang it! Sniff spent at least half the night in the cat house, did his usual crazy routine in the morning, and is now peacefully sleeping on my bed. George was extra winy in the morning, then finally ate something, and is now snoozing on top of the bookcase.
Few days ago my dad proclaimed that he finally understood why his grandkids love maple syrup so much.
Yesterday I saw a huge and magnificent rainbow - which is always a pleasure, till you remember the meaning of it. Also, when I came home and goggled "the blessing", the words "the blessing on the rainbow" was a second choice on google - which is also pretty freaky.
For those of you concerned with the topic - I did claim my Godiva freeby for this month last Friday, and consumed it almost immediately in Central Park. Also, Godiva keeps bombarding me with emails that claim 40% off sale on some stuff (which is still cheepish compare to their original 50% off everything sales), but the "boutique" only had 25% off stuffs - thanks, but no thanks.
Currently trending at #1 is Al Roker - because today is his birthday. Well, at least he did not oversleep again.
Trending at #2: Giuliana Rancic -because she "Dishes On What Makes Her Marriage Work" - wow! People are trying to explain why they are happily married making national news?!
Trending at #6: 'NSYNC reunion - but as I was never a fan, and never considered Timberlake handsome or talented, this little tidbit does nothing for my blood pressure. However, I can see a bunch of wild-eyed people about my age eagerly anticipating.
Sara Gilbert came up with a new book called "Imperfect Environmentalist", which is supposed to be a reference guide to protecting your home from undesirable substances - um, creators and producers of Big Bang Theory: could you please involve her some more in the show to get her off the green train? We really, really don't need another celebrity on it, thank you very much!
"Old fashioned" Cheerios are a healthy way to start your day, especially if you add some berries to it - thank you, kind sirs and madams! I so would not know what to eat (or give kids for snack) without your constant vigilance!
"A second dog joins the White House team" - sequester, my gluts! We are paying about half a mil a year for the first one, and Hussein and Co. are getting another.
Kris Jenner photobombed the passionate embrace of her daughter Kourtney and the boyfriend Scott Disick - and she looked pretty drunk while doing it. Well, that's their usual way of making headlines.
One of the designers for Jaguar 7 called Aston Martin "pretty ugly" - play nice, boys!
And, finally, Kate's father took 2 snapshots of Will, Kate, Georgie, and their dog - in my opinion, the baby stills the show. Of course, those pictures already generated some snark from the Guardian. I love the last paragraph: "The image says they are like us, but we know their happiness rests on a bedrock of massive wealth and tradition. They have nothing to worry about. So maybe if we identify with them, we have nothing to worry about either. It is anxiety that gives birth to conservatism. This is a portrait of our frightened age." Um, moron, it is socializing your country, bowing down to political correctness, and kissing muslim ass that is destroying your country and creating massive anxiety, not the baby and the dog - or the baby's parents, for that matter.
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

Monday, August 19, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 19

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is still a bit iffy, but still not bad for August. There is something extremely hilarious in waking up to Sniff giving me his "master race" stare from the cat house - where is is currently snoozing once again. George did his usual song and dance in the morning, and is now sleeping on my bed.
Today is National Hot and Spicy Day - trying to figure out what to cook for dinner in celebration of it.
Joke of the day - Mark Zuckerberg's FB page was hacked! It that is not profoundly ironic, I don't know what is.
Trending at #1 is Peter Facinelli - it took me about 5 minutes to figure out why; the best I can guess is that he managed to unload the house that he and former wife Jennie Garth shared while married. Why is that #1 is anyone's guess.
"Mexico heads back to school with flawed textbooks" - did Jimmy Carter establish a Department of Education there as well?
"Celebrity Twitter Feuds" - showing your lack of class and education in 140 characters or less.
Park Slope, Brooklyn, is #1 among the 5 best big city neighborhoods - what the heck were they smoking when they compiled that list?!!
"Why are politicians allowed to lie" - here is another piece of journalistic genius obviously written after a night of hard partying.
And Will confessed that he changed Georgie's very first diaper - I wonder if it was a poopy one.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 18

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is almost back to normal, but still not scorching, which for August is also a yippee moment. George was extra demanding last night, so he ended up with something called "chicken, lobster, and herring delight" on his plate; a combo that, according to Baby Bro, would appeal only to a cat - or to someone who lives on Upper West Side. Sniff made sure his wounds were re-opened yesterday, and is presently sleeping on my bed.
My dad was treated to another lecture on the superiority of Russian culture and the beauty of Pushkin; he, in turn, asked the other party to read some of Shakespeare's sonnets (in original); when I asked why he decided to torture his unsuspecting friend, whose English skills are minimal, my dad responded that listening to the lectures on the superiority of Russian culture is a real torture - and I concur.
According to Channel 7, today is the 40th anniversary of Hip Hop, Gd help us!
Trending at # 1 is Nicki Minaj - because she modeled her own K-Mart collection. I am so staying away from that store!
Trending at # 2: Justin Timberlake, all because he dedicated a song to Trayvon together with Jay-Z - I can sort of understand Jay-Z's usual racism, but not Timberlake's moronism.
"Kylie Jenner's stylish 'Sweet 16' party" - thanks, but, once again, spare me the details.
Willow Smith "stepped out" in tie die t-shirt with matching hair - impeccable taste right here, what can I say.
In other news of fashion: "3 Stars Rock 1 Crazy Print 3 Different Ways" - basically, they showed up in outfits that looked like they were splattered with paint. How is that "rocking"?
According to Twitter, "Justin Bieber kant" spell - what a huge surprise!
And, finally, after 3 weeks of longing at her mother's house, Kate packed up Georgie and her mom and joined Will in their Wales estate - nice to be a Royal and have big enough house to accommodate your mummy-in-law.
Coffee this morning in my blue wine glass from Target.

Friday, August 16, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 16

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is still nice, but Wednesday was simply magical. Feline companions are still enjoying it. Sniff did his usual running around and playing with everything, and is now reclining on my bed in the pose of Egyptian deity. His battle wounds seem to be healing once again - till the next major scuffle, I guess. George got used to getting treats with his meds and is now sitting next to the pantry every morning and demanding them in the most heartbreaking meow imaginable.
This morning got duly impressed with BPL and their system - for once I found the book I wanted precisely where they promised it would be! Simply wow!
Trending at #1 - Scott Disick; why? Because the DNA test proved that he is the father of Kourtney K.'s son Mason - the whole world can breathe a collective sigh of relieve!
Trending at # 8- Pepsi flavored Cheetos that are currently being sold on Japan. Why Japan? That's every single ESPN addict's dream! Bring them here!
Beyonce just got another haircut! Stop the presses, ya all!
Kanye West got booed - at least sometimes he gets what he deserves!
Trending at # 4 - "Coffee mortality". Now they are saying that drinking coffee is not good for your health! Oh, give me a break already! Drink coffee, don't drink coffee! Go stuff your heads where the sun does not shine!
"Why Michelle Obama ditched her bangs" - because she looked even uglier with them would be my educated guess.
"New Ways to Drink Rum" - OK, you either drink it from a glass or from a bottle. How else can you do it?!!
According to a new study, Russians are drinking less vodka, Italians are drinking less wine, and Germans are drinking less beer - the end of the world is indeed very, very near us!
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 15

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather rocks once again! It looks like a miracle will happen this year, and the Con Ed bill for August will be lower than the one for July. Cats, of course, are enjoying the weather to the fullest, especially Sniff - he is running around like crazy with his tail fluffed and altogether being a cute young kitty. George finally finished his pill course last night - by the last pill he got the whole process down pat. Both of them take periodic advantage of the open window in the kitchen. By the way, if you need a great person to take care of a slightly ailing cat, Baby Bro is your man!
Trending at #10: Cat DNA readings - I was curious as to what exactly can the DNA of my furry friends offer society, but this story is about a guy in Britain convicted of manslaughter because the DNA from the cat hair found on victim matched his pet. Scary and fascinating at the same time.
Jennifer Aniston "swapped" her usual black for a "flirty floral" - Jen, I could have sworn you were not hanging out in Brooklyn; why is black your signature color?
"Oprah Winfrey opens up about her man" - anything to gloss up the fact of falsely accusing a store clerk of racism. Good job, Oprah!
"Mama June picks her wedding dress" - "after trying on a few duds, (including a look-alike Kate Middleton gown), the reality star finds a winner." Spare me!
JC Penny is under attack for their back to school ad which, supposedly, promotes bullying of people who do not wear the "right" kind of clothes - it does not promote anything, just states the bleeding obvious - but then, I assume, truth usually hurts.
Lisa Kudrow just started trending at #1, but I can't see why - maybe because she gave some kind of an interview?
"Best places for rich and single" - what is this, gold-diggers of both sexes unite and conquer?
According to a new book by a political science professor, people who read all of HP 7 books "tend to be "more open to diversity; politically tolerant; less authoritarian; less likely to support the use of deadly force or torture; more politically active; and are more likely to have a negative view of the Bush administration." - really? Harry Potter is a tool that helps produce politically correct morons with Bush derangement syndrome? It think they arrived there despite the boy wizard.
Taylor Swift "hates" Justin Bieber, "feuding" with Selena Gomez - um, why the heck can't they just sing?!!!
And, finally, Kate, who is now staying with the baby by her mother, is considering a prolonged visit of about 6 months - wise move, lady!
Coffee this morning in my smiley faces mug.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 14

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is simply fantastic! Of course, Sniff wanted to enjoy it to the fullest - he ran around like crazy, fluffed his tail, knocked down the magnets from the fridge, and, of course, attempted to attack the old coot. Thankfully, the attack did not last long, as his battle wounds are finally healing. I also told him off as got 2 new pairs of flippies that are currently hanging in a bag, hiding from him - to which he responded with a disdainful look that told something like "puny human, I don't care!"
Ina was making humus; one of the ingredients was Tabasco - sometimes Westerners make me laugh (even though I am a Westerner myself, for all intents and purposes).
Currently trending at #1: Khloe and Lamar - "divorce rumors continue following mistress testimony"; something new and original for this family, for sure.
Trending at #3: Bethenny Frankel, who was, of course, talking about her recent divorce - why? As a cautionary tale? Or just to get some stuff off her chest on the national TV?
Trending at #5: Downton Abbey - all because the photo of the cast for Season 4 "was unveiled"! I am not a fan, but, girls, run to see it!!!
Trending at #6: Mila Kunis - "Sexiest Woman Alive Turns 30"! Gee, I don't remember such fanfare when I turned 30, but, then, nobody ever proclaimed me the sexiest woman alive, so, I sort of get it. Of course, I have no idea about as to who, when, and how decides as to which woman would be crowned with that title. Another mystery that won't be solved soon.
Kevin Federline's nuptials are still very much on everyone's mind - my question again is: why?!!
Keri Russell confessed that she works out in her closet because that's the only place she could be herself - oh, come on, lady! Even I dance in my living room! Although, come to think of it, her closet is probably the size of my living room....
Out of 10 "best coffee cities in America" NY came up at #9, while Seattle holds the top spot - give me a break! Here you can get a great cup of Joe basically any time of day or night, while in Seattle we could not do that at 9 pm on Motzei Shabat! NY rules!
And, finally, Will made his first public speech after becoming a dad. In it he claimed that taking care of baby is way harder than flying search and rescue missions (duh!), and he also said that Georgie "got a good pair of lungs on him". When asked if his son had hair, Will joked that the baby had more hair than him.
Coffee this morning in my Boston mug.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 13

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is rainy and blah-y, but not hot - which is already good news for an August day. Feline companions, of course, adding sleep time to their very busy schedules: Sniff is on my bed, and George is on the couch.
According to an article in the latest edition of my monthly bible, using Facebook affects the quality of your sleep - apparently, there is extra depression brought on by overusing this site. Oh, give me a break!
Ina is making something called Midnight Spaghetti - ah, Ladispoli, the memories!
Trending at #3: Mayim Bialik, because she was explaining why she blogged about her divorce. Seriously? Who needs to know the details of the divorce, never mind the explanation?
Jennifer Garner does not want to co-star with her husband and does not want to be known as Ben Affleck's wife - lady, I don't care either way.
Kristen Bell claims that her voice got deeper after pregnancy - that one I never heard before.
"See Kevin Federline kiss his new bride" - no, thank you, I would rather not.
A new study shows that growing up with siblings prepares you for a stronger marriage - bro and sis, you are welcome!
"How to tie a reliably sturdy rope knot" - why? Are you giving me a sailboat?
A dude in Tbilisi won a Guinness World Record for "most spoons on a human body" - I really don't want to know how boring his life was before that.
A group of scientists in Hawaii created a bunch of glow in the dark rabbits - they claim they need them in order to create cheaper meds for HIV, Alzheimer, and hemophilia. Yea, right! Admit it, people, you just wanted to have some fun.
No news on Bieber since his, hum, guitar pictures.
Coffee this morning in clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 12

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is not the best, but definitely decent for NY August.
Got the best friends around!!!! They got me gun-lovers flippies!!!! Now hiding them from the shoe-eating cat otherwise known as Mr. Sniffles - who spent the night in the cat house, ate, drunk, and is now snoozing there again. George decided lately that he prefers the couch - where he is resting at present.
Almost boiled the tea kettle today - it has been a whole month since my last attempt to do so - progress!
Trending at #1: Kendall Jenner; it looks like she and her sister Kylie are "Out of Control With Their Partying" - well, they are just following the fine family traditions; who can blame them?
Trending at #2: Kristen Stewart - it looks like both her and R-Patz "Won Big at Teen Choice Awards" and did not show up for the ceremony. Well, teens should really find more interesting people to swoon about - and yes, I know that most, if not all of them, are dead, but still....
Selena Gomez did attend The Awards ceremony - in a dress with two huge slits. My previous statement stands.
Trending at #6 is an eighth grade exam from 1912 which basically shows how far our educational system has fallen. Hurray for the Department of Education, Teacher's Unions, coddling the poor, persecuted minorities, especially of the illegal variety, and the general idiocy of the political correctness!
Trending at #9: a rodeo clown in Missouri used an Obama mask, mocked our dear Embarrassment-in-Chief, and now "draws criticisms" - I guess it's only OK when you mock Republicans.
Judge in Tennessee changed baby's name from Messiah to Martin, sighting that only one person earned that name - that, in my opinion, is an over-reach of the humongous proportions. Since when is the government in charge of how you name your children?
A "noted" anthropologist from Rutgers claims that there are scientific reasons of why people fall in love - lady, seriously! An anthropologist?!!! Give me a break!
Pictures "surfaced" of Bieber in his birthday suite, "cradling a guitar" - where are good shrinks when you need them, along with the some men in white carrying straight jackets?
And, finally, Will and Kate are planning to release "family snapshots" of Georgie instead of official portraits - come on, he is a baby! Just tell people to stuff is either way!
Coffee this morning in my blue wine glass from Target.

THE FOOD NETWORK CHANNEL

When I was younger I always assumed that cooking shows were for that segment of the population that never mastered the fine art of boiling water, or, plainly speaking, for losers - one or the other, but never for people who posses at least the rudimentary cooking skills and/or actually have a life. However, those assumptions flew out of the proverbial window shortly after Golden Delicious was born.

You see, my sister got into the habit of watching The Food Network while she was nursing. My niece was a decent eater and took her time getting everything she could, so to speak, and since I was hanging around both of them quite a lot, I also got into the habit of watching the blessed channel. Soon we even had our favorite shows and hosts.

Well, the baby is no longer a baby, hosts and shows fell out of favor to be replaced by others, but the enjoyment derived from watching Food Network only grew. Why? Simple: who needs the horrific (and mostly skewed to the left) news, or violent shows, or raunchy and dirty comedies when you can watch a goofy nerd making a fancy sandwich for his wife, or an extra energetic grandmotherly type preparing a feast for her husband's birthday? As far as background noises go - this is sheer bliss!

Aside from getting a soothing background entertainment, I also learned a few things. Here they are, in no particular order:

Guys enjoy cooking when at least one of these three conditions is met: they get to compete, or they get to play with fire, or they get paid a decent amount of money for it.

Butter rocks! It makes any meat oh so much better (still remember that one from before kosher observance), it flavors the veggies, and you can't really bake any kind of decent pastry without it.

Americans DO love their bacon!

You can use three mixing bowls in order to make one salad and not bat an eye – because someone else is going to clean it up.

Ditto for pots, pans, and baking dishes.

Ladies usually get to perform dressed up (not to the nines, but definitely not in sweats or housecoats) as opposed to the guys who still manage to get by with baggy pants and open plaid shirts.

Ladies also manage to boil, fry, and saute while wearing silk blouses with floppy sleeves, clunky bracelets, long necklaces, and chandelier earring.

You have to salt every single layer you add to your pot.

Some cooks do not believe in black pepper, and some hate cilantro – go figure.

You don't really need precise measurements for cooking – but you definitely do for baking. Is this why I enjoy cooking, but never really bake?

Words and expressions like succulent, scrumptious, tart, firm flesh, full-bodied, savory, colorful, delicious, fabulous, to die for, wine-soaked, caramelized, etc, somehow acquire a different meaning after you hear them uttered during a cooking show.

Wine parings that you thought were sacrosanct are not so sacrosanct anymore.

Every host and hostess would urge you to go and get your produce at the farmer's market, claiming that not only is it fresher there, but cheaper as well – I don't know where they get their information, but they obviously did not shop in Brooklyn.

Micro-plane is an absolute necessity in the kitchen of any self-respectable cook.

Ditto pasta-maker.

All the meats and sea food always come clean and prepared from the store, nicely wrapped up in a piece of brown paper.

If you want to make meringues, it has to be a clear day with low humidity.

Almost any dessert gains from an addition of alcoholic beverage.

No cook worthy of his or her apron ever cooks in a kitchen that's standard size for a New York apartment.

According to Julia Child, Italian cooking does not feel like real cooking – I guess that's why I love pasta so much.

Every single host or hostess claims that nobody wants thoroughly cooked pasta or rice – me, me, me!!!!!

Cheese plate has to be served with crackers and fruit – sorry, I guess I am not a gourmet because to me cheese and fruit never go together.

Family members always come at the most appropriate moment and help - willingly and, most importantly, productively!

Making your own ice cream is easy as pie.

Ditto making pies.

Ditto making your own caramel, or melting chocolate in a double boiler.


And, last, but the most important – cooking is a joy! Forget about perfection and have fun!

Sunday, August 11, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 11

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is fantastic - not at all NY August. Feline companions are enjoying the sun in their respective spots. Yesterday the inquiring minds wanted to know why my kitchen smelled of cheap wine - and when I explained that that was Manishewitz used for Havdalah, people shuddered. 
Today I spend a nice portion of the morning torturing my neighbours with my youtube music selections - and I admit that was extremely enjoyable.
Spitzer's ads are dominating the local channels and they are, frankly, nauseating.
Adele is currently trending at #1 - because she is "confirmed" to sing the title song for the next Bond movie. Adele might be an unusual singer, but that still would not compel me to watch the new Bond movie.
Some stars have "tattoo addiction" - wow, no joke, Sherlock!
Kevin Federline is in the news again because he finally remarried - who actually needs to know that?
Sharon Stone "stole" the red carpet from a much younger actress - what an achievement! 
"Guilt-Free Brownies" - why are pastries supposed to be filled with guilt? War on women, anyone?!!
Mark Kelly will take time off his busy schedule of making sure we are deprived of our Constitutional rights in order to actually perform his primary job - working for NASA.
And, finally, Will took the time off from "sleepless nights" and "dirty diapers" in order to attend a bachelor party - how truly manly of him.
Coffee this morning in my personalized NY mug from WB store.

Friday, August 09, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 9

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is not bad for NY August. Ladies, I hope you had a nice Rosh Chodesh, did not overburden yourselves with housework, and got presents from your husbands.
Sniff woke me up twice last night by headbutting my shoulders, licking my arms with his extra-rough tongues, and otherwise demanding attention. George just slept by my feet again.
Walk down Court Street brought back strange memories, but, as was alone, no cleansing ritual. Incidentally, shoppers at Trader Joe's in Manhattan are more fun than the ones in Brooklyn, but the food is still good.
Guess who is trending at #1 right now? Whitney Houston - because it looks like it would have been her 50th birthday. No comment.
Trending at #2 is Katherine Heigl, since she is planning to return to TV. I guess she got tired of starring in moronic and raunchy romantic comedies.
Trending at #9 is Scientology, since Leah Remini filed a missing person's report for their leader's wife, and they, in turn, issued a "scathing response" to it. And so the plot thickens.
Poor Oprah experienced a "racist incident" in Switzerland - aw, poor woman! My heart bleeds borsch for you! How does it feel to be on the receiving end?
Miley Cyrus "made a splash" in leather and mesh dress by attending her fiance's movie premiere - so, I guess, the engagement is still on.
Jennifer Hudson was "channeling 'Saved By The Bell'" in her "wacky" dress - as long as she stops yapping about Weight Watchers, I don't give a rat's patootie.
And, finally, New York Magazine re-assured its readers that Kate's official titles are indeed both the duchess and the princess - thanks, NY Mag!
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 8

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is rainy and blah-y, but at least it's not very hot. Feline companions are both quietly snoozing on my bed.
After observing some people in the laundromat, I am not so worried about my neurosis and OCD anymore.
Despite her starring role in Sharknado, Tara Reid does not know much about whale sharks - at least she does not want to teach biology in a major university, unlike Martin Sheen, who wanted to advise President Bush on how to be a President.
In the news of hairdos: Beyonce got a short haircut - will that stop her from being a disgusting human being she is now?
For the first time ever Barbie is going to be carrying a Coach purse - and, no, I don't want this one for my birthday, thank you very much.
"Upton felt 'terrible' after first swimsuit cover" - no comment.
Lady Gaga performed "in the buff" to make some kind of point - I really don't want to know what kind of point she was trying to make, and please spare me the pictures.
Esquire Magazine printed detailed instructions for men on how to correctly roll up their pants - and, no, I am not making it up.
"How much water do you really need to drink" - allow me to demystify this topic: if you are thirsty, you drink; if you are hungry, you eat; if you are not sure if you are hungry or thirsty, take a drink first; and, finally, if you are not thirsty, there is no need to drink.
"Algae: The Secret Ingredient in Beauty Products" - as long as people are not forced to run their cars on it, we are good.
Justin Bieber reportedly brought home two hot cocktail waitresses after brawling in the night club - nice multitasking.
And, finally, Will is planning to get Kate a customized gift in honor of Georgie's birth - the people in the know claim that it is going to be a brooch. Funny, for some reason I don't see a brooch as an ideal accessory for Kate, but then I am not married to her.
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 6

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! Happy Rosh Chodesh Elul! Ladies, as always, please remember - VERY LIGHT housework and a gift from your husband.
The weather is gorgeous! Everyone is wishing for it to stay till November; this, of course, will not happen, but today is definitely park day.
Sniff probably decided that he got kicked enough and spent last night in the cat house. He did his banshee routine in the morning and is now resting on the kitchen window sill. George slept with me, impersonated my secretary in the morning (which resulted in the house phone hiding somewhere on the bottom of the entertainment center), and is now longingly looking at the kitchen pantry - for reasons unknown to humans.
Last night I went on a long overdue visit to Stop & Shop, and I am happy to report that everything made it to my house safely, without falling victim to the local barbarian population.
Guess who is trending at #1 right now? Kim Kardashian! And not because of her clothes - but because it looks like she is planning to design baby clothes! Well, judging by her "whale dress" and her flowery curtains number, Gymboree, Baby Gap, and Carters have nothing to fear.
Trending at #2 is Al Roker - because he overslept! Dude oversleeps for first time in 39 years, and it's all over the net! Sheesh...
Some poor sod accidentally snapped a finger off the medieval Italian statue, and, because he was "an American tourist", it's all over the headlines. The damage poor Muslim immigrants do every time they riot, meanwhile, somehow always skips the news.
Sara Jessica Parker "finally" opened up about her marriage, when in the past she was "nasty" about it - anything to keep the reporters close by and to stay in the headlines.
Lindsay Lohan guest-hosted Chelsea Lately and took at swipe at Kristen Stewart - not that I am a big fan of Stewart, but that was definitely classy.
Mariah Carey showed up in leather and studs - something new and exiting for her.
"'Hottest' politicians in the US" - here is another oxymoron for your.
And, finally, the company that produced the now famous blankey in which prince George left the hospital is headquartered right here, in Brooklyn, NY! Go, my smelly, stinking borough!
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 5

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather rocks and does not feel like August at all! There is some kind of strange drilling going on outside my windows. Both cats spent at least half the night on my bed - and both by my feet. I guess they enjoy being constantly kicked. George is sleeping on my bed again. Sniff slept on the suitcase, did his banshee routine, and is now snuggling with Baby Bro. His battle wounds are almost healed - all bets are off on when they will re-open again.
John Cusack is currently trending at #1 - in his new movie he is playing a serial killer who uses S&M in his killing rituals (which, apparently, angered S&M aficionados). As long as he keeps away from politics, I don't care whom and where he is playing.
Tiffani Thiessen is trending at #2. When I tried to find out why, aside from a bunch of her pictures, I got this funny tidbit: "Tiffani Thiessen tops morning headlines for no apparent reason." Wow!
Lindsay Lohan was interviewed by Oprah - I honestly despise Oprah more. Lohan is just a crazy addict as opposed to Oprah who is a very sober jackassess and Hussein supporter.
"Big Change Coming to FB" - oh, not again! What is it, change #25 or so?
"Fergie's Sassy Maternity Style" - it looks like she decided to squeeze into a pair of leather pants. Lady, wait for the kid to join you, and then wear leather.
A nice town of Dorcet, Minnesota, last year elected a 3-year old to be their mayor, and this year they re-elected him. I hereby nominate Neffie Pooh for a mayor of NY!
"How to be happily married with children" - wow, somebody actually put out a manual on this one?
"Kendall Jenner's on-camera meltdown" - I don't even want to know the details.
"For comics, the joke is on Obama now" - too little too late.
"Justin Bieber's visit to Southampton club ends in a fight" - serves them right; club management didn't know not to admit that punk?
And, finally, Will officially signed his son't birth certificate about 3 days ago; the said certificate lists parents' jobs as "Prince" and "Princess" - grins.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

Sunday, August 04, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 4

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is actually rocking for NY August. George was extra clingy over Shabat and decided once again that I am a big, strangely looking cat who needs grooming (ie being slightly chewed on the wrist). And this morning he decided that he looks way better on my desk than my laptop. Sniff is up to his usual tricks and is currently snoozing on my Mickey suitcase.
Recently sampled something called French sourdough bread from Pom which tastes exactly like Jewish rye from the local bakery.
Also recently I remembered what is the biggest attack weapon in the arsenal of our people - it is none other than Jewish Yenta! No line of defense will withstand her attack for long! I highly recommend to our government to make a full use of that valuable resource!
Elle Macpherson tied the knot again - mazal tov! It also means the dashed hopes of a nice Jewish guy whose dream it was to have Elle for his very own.
Jennifer Aniston is making headlines because she posed for pictures without makeup - and she looks like a well-preserved woman in her 40s. Congratulations, another mystery solved!
Susan Sarandon made fashion news when she showed up in some kind of youngish-looking floral number. I honestly don't care what she wears (or doesn't) as long as she refrains from her usual treasonous activities. And if she leaves the country and never comes back, she can wear that "youthful" fashion on the plain.
Our dear Usurper-In-Chief turned 52 over the weekend (at least according to the birth certificate he is currently using). He relaxed at Camp David from his hard work on behalf of our enemies.
In other news, he (Hussein) currently bemoaned our "change in culture" and Kardashians - I would take Kardashians over him any day.
Justin Bieber was busy lately: he "unveiled" his latest tat, was seen "in the arms of another woman" (I guess not Selena), and shoved fan's Iphone down his pants during concert - where are the men in white coats when you need them?
And, finally, Will took time off from his son to play a round of polo - all men are the same. He also claimed that he was in baby mode, and his head was not really on the game - my previous statement holds.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug (the new design).

Friday, August 02, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 31

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather continues to pleasantly surprise - second night without a/c! Felines are unusually undemanding this morning - also shocked due to unusual weather? Dad and Baby Bro attempted, once again, to trim George's claws: cat -3, humans - 0. 
Crazy upstairs is up to her usual.
No new developments on the incinerator front reported.
Pauley Perette "rocked" a t-shirt that proclaimed her love for her job - duh! Nobody heard about her before NCIS, so why wouldn't she love her job?
Blackhawks fans were very angry at Bieber for stepping on the team's logo while taking pictures, so they stepped on the picture of him and also made a snapshot of it - which one of these is more moronic is open for debate.
The old conspiracy theory of JFK being accidentally shot by secret service is revisited - which is still boring comparing to what our current president provides us with as fodder for conspiracy theories.
Farmers who farm non-organically are 50% more susceptible to depression - as opposed to people who are too concerned with nonsense and are 100% more susceptible to being full of hot air.
There are rumors of Kanye and Kim getting engaged - well, in this case it's the usual order of things among modern people: shacking up, having a baby, then thinking of maybe getting engaged, maybe getting married, and then almost inevitable getting divorced. Who said these celebs are not in touch with regular people?
And, finally, as announced, Will got his 2 weeks paternity leave - and the public is awaiting with baited breath for the news of a first diaper change performed by the prince personally.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 2

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is NY August meh, but bearable.
Sniff decided last night that the best place to sleep on is Baby Bro's pillow. After he was disabused of that notion, he opted for the cat house. George got into his usual pathetic meow routine in the morning, then we all shared breakfast, and now both of them are snoozing again - George on my bed, and Sniff in the middle of the hallway.
Today would have been my parents' 44th wedding anniversary - to quote my friend Gosha, "life!"
This morning I realized that I missed my last month's freebie from Godiva - again!
Currently trending at #1 is Jodie Sweetin - because she "refuses rehab reports"; why is this #1? #10 I might understand, but #1?
Trending at #2 is Tyra Banks, who, by the looks of it, was talking about adding men to America's Next Top Model - why is this interesting?
Simon Cowell is also in the news due to his affair with his friend's wife (who is now pregnant with Simon's baby) - wow, what a friendship! Move over, musketeers! This is way more manly!
The post office claims that it takes picture of every single piece of mail they process and stores it for up to a month - your tax dollars at work once again.
Members of Taiwanese parliament were brawling before a key vote, punching each other, and throwing water bottles - I think our Congress should start doing the same thing. This way they could at least provide some entertainment.
"Amanda Bynes' Face Transformation Will Surprise You" - there are many other verbs you could use in this situation, but surprise is not one of them.
"Justin Bieber's 'Baby' is officially the best-selling digital song ever" - I weep for our youth.
And, finally, Kate was "spotted" wearing a nursing bra and praised for breastfeeding her baby - here is my question: how could you "spot" a woman's underclothes, nursing or not?
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! Happy first day of August! The weather is getting worse again, but still not bad, although the a/c had to be on last night. Sniff came in to snuggle in the wee hours, licked my hand, and then plopped down on my face. After that he was waiting for me at the bathroom door, breakfasted with me, and is now sitting on top of the couch and contemplating his next move. George decided to skip the usual routine this morning and just continued sleeping on top of the bookcase.
Of the four different stamp designs we have Baby Bro chose everlasting love for our rent check - interesting move.
Happy Belated Birthday to Harry Potter - and Joanne Rowling!
Guess who is trending at #1 right now? Nope, that passed. Monica Lewinsky! Because the new details of her affair with Slick Willy came out, and, well, public needs to know. But, despite the news, Bill's lecture fees did not go down in price.
Helen Hunt is trending at #4 because she is going to "direct herself" in some kind of new movie - listen, you want to be in charge of your career, go for it! Just please refrain from any and all political involvement.
Trending at #7: Kristen Stewart - it looks like fame got to her head a bit, and she "flipped out on paparazzi". It's sort of newsworthy, but not really interesting due to lack of originality.
Trending at #10: Selena Gomez. It looks like she gave yet another interview about her new album, her 21st birthday, and, of course, Bieber - I think her fans need immediate intervention! I mean, how many times do they need to hear about all this?
"Snooki's classy bikini look" - what is this, a contest on who could come up with a bigger oxymoron in their headlines?
Another one: "What K-Fed looks like today" - um, does anyone still care?
The discussion about Pauley Perette's t-shirt is still on - for more than 24 hours?
And, finally, according to Hollywood Reporter, the royal baby was "Bigger News Than the Pope, Obama's Second Inauguration" - way to go, little Georgie!
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.