The Best Motto

Gd, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannon change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

You woke up this morning - Congratulations! You got another chance!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 30

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather was actually nice enough to sleep without a/c - but it's warming up again. Sniff went back to his waiting by the bathroom door routine. This morning they already had a chance to fight over breakfast, and are not snoozing - George on my bed, and Sniff on top of the rucksack. 
Was too lazy to go up to check on the progress of the incinerator battle - but very tempted to add some oil to the fire.
J. Lo is celebrating her 44th birthday - gosh, had it been so long already?
In the news of fashion - Kelly Osbourne wore shoes with heels looking like ice cream cones; does she like ice cream that much?!
"Sharon Stone reveals how aging changed her" - thanks, I really don't need the details.
Clintons are "upset" by being compared to Wiener's scandal and Hil is trying to "distance" herself - no honor among thieves, I see.
US border patrol agents found pot on Bieber's tour bus - but there are no indications that it's his.
And the latest rave on the royal baby is his upcoming christening - wonder if it would correspond with some kind of muslim rioting.
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 29

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The temperatures are climbing again, darn it! So, cats are sleeping: Sniff on my bed, and George on the box. In the morning George came to snuggle for a change, then complained about the freshness of his water, and then meowed piteously by the pantry - which means please give me my treats.
The incinerator saga continues with tenants writing to each other on the incinerator and elevator doors.
Thanks to my dad's maneuvering the burner does not need to be in the fridge anymore.
Currently trending at #1 is Hoda Kotb because of the contradicting reports of whenever she would or would not replace Joy Behar on The View. Well, if she would, it would definitely be a slight improvement in the line up - she at least sounds better and has a bit more class.
J. Crew moved from trendy to "too fashionable" - don't care either way as they never have anything my size.
Michael Phelps is trending at #3 because he is considering competing in 2016 Olympics - don't care about Michael Phelps as such, but forcing assorted bastards to listen to Star Spangled Banner again and again - nirvana!
Justin Bieber gave Selena a single red rose for her birthday - aw, Jelena working once again!
And, finally, Prince Charles announced that the baby's nickname would be Georgie - I said it first!
Coffee this morning in my clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 28

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is not so bad for NY July, which fact feline companions loved once again, especially Sniff. He did his usual crazy running routine for a good portion of the morning, and is now resting on my bed. George also did his usual - asked loudly for fresh food, fresh water, and more petting, after which he retired to the top of the book shelf. They are also officially on the regular food; for a while it was diet variety, then a combo of diet and regular, and now, considering how much exercise they are getting, they are getting only regular.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff.
We got a new intercom panel! It has 3 buttons: "talk", "listen", and "door", as opposed to the old one, which had only 2 - "talk" and "door", so, yes, wast improvement - and being new and shiny does not hurt either.
Also, please don't ask why one of the burners is currently sitting on the top shelf of the fridge.
Jeff Mauro was doing "healthy" sandwiches - 2 vegetarian and one with grilled chicken! I guess, being from Chicago, he has to listen (or at least make believe to listen) to Michelle's edicts.
Jennifer Aniston is currently trending at #3 because she claimed that she already feels married to her Justin -ah, lady, don't rush! They get very skittish when you move the time table on them!
Trending at #7 - Selena Gomez! Why? Because Justin Bieber attended her 21st birthday party! Come to think of it, what the heck was I doing on my 21st birthday? Why can't I find anything in the old news?
Amanda Bynes is also very much in the news because she is on "mental health watch" since Monday. What took so long?
In the news of fashion: Selena again, this time together with Kourtney Kardashian. Both of them wore knee high gladiator sandals with very short shorts - and now experts in the field are deciding who looked better. This is definitely newsworthy, people, like, definitely!
"Snooki's trainer shares weight loss secrets" - how about education and mind-improving secrets?
"Most Millionaires don't think they are rich" - duh! Just remember what you could by for a 20 about 20 years ago and now - and you totally get them.
And, finally, it looks like Prince George will get costume made cuff links for his christening from Prince Charles's goddaughter - what the heck he needs them for is a different story.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 26

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's warming up again, dang it! Feline companions are not too happy about that one, and are sleeping in their fave spots (cat house and on top of a box). In the morning they both came to snuggle, then fought over breakfast, then fought just because, and finally settled down.
Guess who is trending at #1? Nope, wrong! It's Kim Kardashian! You thought she is going to stay quiet? Ha! Anyway, she is in the news because she is loosing baby weight and because her and her magnificent baby-daddy did not want to give their poor offspring a traditional "K" name because they did not want (I am not kidding here) any associations with KKK - genius galore from both of them, what can I say?
You want to know who is trending at #2? DMX. Why? Because the genius got arrested for DUI. Surprised much?
Trending at #7 - someone vandalized the Lincoln memorial; well, considering all the other garbage taking place in DC, this is not surprising.
Jessica Simpson was "spotted" for the first time after giving birth - well, she had to emerge from her house sometime.
Latest on Selena Gomez - this morning she spoke of her "ex-boyfriend", claiming that she will "always care" for him - Jelena was not resuscitated? Aw, shucks!
"Is Kate Middleton's 'mummy tummy' coverage disrespectful to women?" - oh, get a life, people! Did you ever see a woman 2 days after giving birth?!!
And, finally, "Prince George Already Has It All...Except His Own Website" - ah, the dude is less than a week old, people. Give him at least till crawling time.
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

NUMBER 400

So, Ladies and Things, this is post # 400 on this here blog. As it is my tradition, I would like to sort of dedicate it to something or someone special.  And, after thinking about it for a bit, I decided to just say thank you once again to The Heavenly Father for all that He blessed me with. So, here is the list, in no particular order.

Being a woman
Being a Jewess
My parents
The Holy Land
My siblings
United States of America and its remarkable people
My health
My Jewish brothers and sisters
Crazy and exiting city of New York
Sunshine and gentle breezes
Disney
Traveling
Green grass and the absence of hey fever
My nieces and nephews
Their hugs, smiles, and kisses
The fact that I almost never went hungry
My apartment
My psychotic pets
My library
My Barbie collection
Beautiful flowers
Great perfume
Sunrises and sunsets
Playing in the ocean
Internet
My laptop
Dopey TV shows that keep blood pressure in check
My friends
Books, books, books
Spring
Fall
Walks in the park
Breakfasts chatting with Baby Bro
Denim skirts
Comfy flippies
Delicious food and drinks
Fantastic movies
Great works of art by dead white males and females - and very much alive white females and males
Five senses
24-hour laundromat with working a/c

For these and many, many other blessings I am forever grateful. 







Friday, July 26, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 25

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is actually half-decent, thank Gd! The said occurrence feline companions are enjoying to the fullest, especially Sniff, who did his usual battle cry-huge tail-lots of crazy running routine - which he did not perform since the first heat wave. Both of them also decided to try and have a fight on the edge of the kitchen sink, but then George thought better of it. He, in turn, complained in the morning, sat on the window sill with the newly "adjusted" shade, then on the sill next to my desk, and finally both of them decided to take a nap on my bed.
Joke of the day #1 comes from our building manager, who, apparently, did not read the notice telling everyone that the intercom would be out of commission for the next 2 weeks. This morning he decided to press the bell and was completely flabbergasted when he realized that nothing was working.
Joke of the day #2 comes from someone in the PR Department of the MTA, a representative of which uttered something to the extend of people taking it for granted that there are no fires on the subways.
Rinsing your head with beer right after shampoo is good for your hair - and if you don't rinse it on time, I guess it would be a perfect distraction from ESPN for a man of your life.
Among the 10 best places in USA to live in, there is Anchorage - which proves one more time that Sara Palin knew what she was doing.
On the other hand, Washington, DC, was just pronounced the least honest city in the USA - surprised much?
Taylor Swift left a nice tip plus concert tickets at the restaurant that impressed her with a nice service - take that, Kanye!
Chris Brown always makes sure that his car matches his shoes - no comment.
MTV.com is offering to take a pick inside Justin Bieber's jewelry box - please spare me!
Shakira is currently trending at #1 because she just "unveiled" a "slim bikini body" mere 6 months after giving birth - big deal! I know some local ladies who can give her a run for her money!
Blake Lively is currently trending at #2 because her representative just went public claiming that she is not pregnant - hum, thank Gd?
And, finally, royal baby is already stimulating the economy - the company that produced the swaddling blanket in which he left the hospital has no more of these blankets in stock! Way to go, Georgie!
Coffee this morning in my glass Cappuccino mug.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 24

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is the nicest that we saw in about a month, so - yay! 
Sniffles started his day by sleeping on my Mickey suitcase and now migrated to my bed; George started his day by complaining to me and Baby Bro and is now sleeping on some random boxes.
Our Building management decided to add some excitement to our overwise humdrum lives and got somebody to work on our intercom system - the said repairs are supposed to last for the next 2 weeks. Again, hurray for the 1st floor!
Ina was making a traditional Jewish dinner for her hubby's birthday, which consisted of chicken soup with matzah balls and stuffed cabbage. The kicker? Her secret to fluffy matzah balls is to whip the egg whites! I can so see the housewives in the schtettels doing just that!
Guess what's trending at #1 right now? Yes, you guessed it. The new prince was named George Alexander Louis, and yes, the Buckingham Palace called Baby Bro yesterday to clear the matter with him. He told them that as long as the royal heir is not called George Ffuffikens Hamilton, he is OK with that.
A dude from Tennessee used 42 sheets to spell "Will You Marry Me" in the field that belongs to the parents of his girlfriend - wow! That's romance for you!
Another dude, this time in Australia, took a really easy path - he just tied the ring box onto his dog and sent the pet to his girlfriend; definitely enterprising.
According to some kind of fashion expert, 3 most common summer fashion faux pas committed to guys are are tank tops, cargo shorts, and long socks - she obviously spent way too much time in our neighbourhood.
And, finally, Bieber sort of admitted that he had feelings for Selena since he was 15 - only he phrased it slightly differently. Ah, young love!
No coffee today as we run out of milk.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 23

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is NY July, meaning meh, but not as bad as it could be. George demonstrated his sixth sense again last night when I had to crawl over my bed in order to put on my a/c - next thing I know, the ginger ball is right next to me! Had to disappoint him and inform him that it was not bedtime yet. Now they are sleeping in my room (for a change) - Sniff in the cat house, and George on the window sill next to my desk; it's actually always a surprise to sit by my desk and find him there.
The crazy upstairs is extra diligent today.
The new chapter in the saga of living in barbarian-infested neighbourhood: first my toilet paper was stolen, then a package from Gymboree was stolen from our front door area, and now Baby Bro's Amazon package! I sort of understand the first two, but post-modern poetry?!! I guess the lure of the Amazon box was too much for someone - plus, it helps that our apartment is right next to the elevator.
Guess what's trending at #1 right now? Nope, you are wrong - it's Lisa Kudrow, due to her announcement of not being interested in Friends reunion. A bit cold, Lisa, considering that that show sort of made you.
Now guess what's trending at #2? Wrong again - it's Sandra Bullock, who was talking about filming Gravity and claiming that it was "incredibly scary"; have no idea what Gravity is all about, so can offer no educated comment on this one.
Now guess what's trending at #5? Well, sort of - it's Buckingham palace, which is, of course, besieged by the crowds of crazily happy people - or is it just happily crazy? Or just happy? Or just plain crazy?
So, yes, Mazal Tov to Kate on the birth of a baby boy! - Well, she was the one doing all the work!
The nutty Brits got to enjoy most of their rituals that surround the birth of the heir to the throne - and, surprise, surprise - muslims were quite for a change! (I wonder why)
As I mentioned before, according to some enterprising souls, the baby is a Jew - which, if indeed is true, would be our best revenge on a lot of things and nasty individuals, beginning with Edward I (or maybe even earlier).
The best summary of the events was this morning, when Baby Bro appeared in the kitchen with a totally bewildered expression on his face and asked to clarify what the deal was with that baby - my answer that people basically have no lives seemed to satisfy his curiosity.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

AN OPEN LETTER TO FRED PHELPS

Dear Mr. Phelps (forgive me, but neither my tongue, nor my typing fingers could dare call you Reverend),

I have just one question and one suggestion to address to you.

First, the question: could you please explain to me how a person who calls himself a man of god can – how do you put it? - oh, yes, picket funerals? I don't care what kind of religion or sect do you claim to represent – the question remains: how do you combine these two concepts? And it's not just any old funeral (which in itself is quiet reprehensible and simply inhumane), oh no! You and your congregation-slash-family made it your mission to disturb the funerals of soldiers who died serving our country, the victims of domestic terrorism, the firefighters who perished in the course of performing their duty! How could you do this over and over again and still consider yourselves human, never mind religious?

And here is my suggestion: how about changing your modus operandi in expressing your contempt for the homosexuals? Mind you, I can almost emphasize with you in your loathing for this particular segment of our population – which is comprised, after all, of some of the whiniest, promiscuous, disdainful of others, puffed up with their own importance primadonnas on the planet. But how is the picture of your darling granddaughter wearing a t-shirt that says “god hates Jews” and standing on our flag right next to Ground Zero – and on the anniversary of 9/11 to boot – how precisely does this particular image express your contempt for the homosexuals? If you already made a long journey from Topeka to New York, why not travel to Chelsea instead and do some picketing there? Or, an even better one – why did you never, ever, to my knowledge, tried to disturb any of the so-called “Pride” parades? Again, there is one right here, in New York, annually – and it's huge!


So, next time you feel the urge to express your dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs re: homosexuals,why don't you express it either in their neighbourhoods or at their largest gatherings? I dare you! I doubt that these exercises would help you regain your humanity, but at least they would really make the point you are trying to make, and in the process not only earn you and your followers a much-deserved beating, but would also spare additional grief to some of the best people that our country has.  

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 22

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The heat wave is officially over, and the temperatures are only in the 80s! Hurray - let's get our gloves and scarves out!
George loves to be petted on my bed, and he has a sixth sense when it comes to knowing when I am going to sleep - the minute I climb in bed, he materializes from whatever corner of the apartment he was in. Yesterday he just heard me utter "going to sleep" and immediately jumped on my bed! He was also extra vocal yesterday, so he was given a portion of catnip, which he is still licking off the windowsill today.
Marc Summers was talking about America's best deep fried foods - I guess partigenosse Michelle has bigger fish to fry (pun not intended) than to police the FoodNetwork anymore. And Ina is making a delicious-looking garlic bread.
Kelly Osbourne shows her new engagement ring in a "unique" way - she "flashed" it after father-daughter manicure session - um, yuk and barf is all I can say!
Belgium crowned a new king - could we get some free chocolates n honor of that one?
Selena Gomez turns 21 - congrats! Now when you can get drunk legally, you would at least have some kind of excuse for idiocy! She also "opened up" about Bieber, telling that dating that human wonder left her "way stressed out" - no joke, Selena!
Bruce Willis is currently trending at #7 because he recently claimed that his wife does not mind him kissing other women for work - seriously?!!! Why would you marry an actor if you minded him kissing actresses while filming, for effs sake?!
Kate finally went into labor, and the crowds went from simply crazy to crazy wild - good luck, Kate!
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 21

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The heat wave is supposedly broken, and our temperatures are only in the 80s with haze and humidity remaining - gee, where is my woolen coat?! 
As usual, there are the infomercials for Guthy Renker on TV - at one point both channels 2 and 3 were both showing the same one at the same time; it was fun flipping them on the remote back and forth. Then, of course, there were infomercials for juicers and such, plus one for Sensa - very timely (insert sarcasm). And now channel 111 is showing Not Without My Daughter - how in blazes is this movie still allowed in the age of Hussein is a mystery to me.
George decided to sleep on the window sill he previously did not use for this activity. In the morning both of them jumped on my bed to snuggle and spent a surprising 2 hours without fighting. Now Sniff is back on my bed sleeping, and George is sleeping on another window sill - right in front of me. Yesterday they both participated in one of their favorite activities - chewing my blanket.
Royal Baby is currently trending at #1 - but there are no definite news, just speculations. Good luck, Kate! Keep hiding in your parents' house - that is the best choice for you now!
Jay Z is trending at #6 because he and his lady fair Beyonce attended a Trayvon Martin rally in New York - you know what, I changed my opinion. Not only any self-respecting "white" person should boycott these two and their so-called art, but any self-respecting American, no matter their race.
It turns out that today is National Ice Cream Day - yippee! Carvel, here I come!
Christina Aguilera is in the news for 2 reasons: she tripped in "sky-high" heels outside a Hollywood club, and she was pronounced the worst singer of the National Anthem - and both of them are, of course, of equal importance. Well, heels might be attributed to stupidity, but the Anthem - you have to love the country, and not just have a good voice, in order to truly perform it well.
And, finally, Selena Gomez is convinced that "Justin Bieber is 'The One'" - and that is after boasting on Letterman that she made him cry! Wow, you two deserve each other - and some enterprising psychiatrist can make a fortune on your combined craziness.
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

Friday, July 19, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 19

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! NYC is still experiencing a heat wave - @#%&! Which, of course, does not stop the crazy upstairs from her usual routine.
Yesterday I went to the city and rediscovered a few things I keep forgetting, i.e.: this entire city is overrun by barbarians, which during the summer translates into extra pungent passengers on the subway, especially of the male variety. Also, during what I guess was a slow news week, all the TV stations were blasting the plan to divert some of the a/c from Grand Central to the 42nd Street station on the IRT. Well, the joke is on them, as this is the only breathable stop on the subway in the summer.
Also, whoever claims that religious women are not dressing well should have gone with me to the laundromat this Wednesday morning: 2 nice looking sephardi ladies came to do laundry dressed to the nines, including silk shirts, make up and perfume - in this heat!
Feline companions are being their usual selves - mostly sleeping. Sniff takes advantage of every place George vacates - especially my bed. In his waking moments he explores his used-to-be fave window sill and the a/c currently blocking it.
Goldie Hawn is trending at #1 because she twitted about the arrival of her first granddaughter - why is this #1? Because of the baby's arrival or because the old girl actually knows how to tweet?
Rob Kardashiain is trending at #3 because he posted the pictures of him with his ex few days after she announced her regret of getting tat of his name on her butt - interesting development.
Michael Moore filed for divorce - heck, I did not even know this loathsome worm was married!
"Unhealthy salad dressings" - oh, pipe down already! High calories does not equal unhealthy!
And, finally, Will will be the first member of the Royal family to receive the mandatory in Britain 2 week paternity leave - aw, how sweet!
Coffee this morning in my clear Target glass.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 18

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! Triple H again, bloody NY summer! Which does not stop the crazy upstairs from her usual stuff.
Feline companions are sleeping for a change; only this time Sniff is on my bed, and George in the other room on top of some random box.
Anne made cauliflower ragu and claimed that in her meal that was starch - I love cauliflower, but how in blazes could you call it starch?
Iphone 5 is currently trending at #4, but as I am not an apple aficionado, I got no comments on that one.
Miley Cyrus claims that her haircut changed her life - wow! That's all you got to do to change your life?! Got to get to my hairdresser in a big hurry!
Bieber posted a picture of his tattoo - he got his mother's eye tattooed on his arm, claiming that his mother is always watching. That's what the idiotic behavior is all about?
A Taliban commander whose unit was responsible for shooting Malala Yousafzai send her a letter expressing some kind of regret and asking her to come back home and "use her pen for islam" - you really got to love those dudes! If they are not threatening your life and your country, they are definitely good for a laugh.
Here is another laugh - Biden "hints" at the possibility of running in 2016! Just digest this one, peeps.
And, finally, Kate's sister Pippa gave her a pair of shoes perfect for chasing after a baby - interesting gift.
Coffee this morning in my personalized mug from Hershey Park that my friend gave me.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 17

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's officially heat wave # 10 or so in our fair city, @#%&!
Feline companions got new, fancier litter box; right now they are battling heat by sleeping in my room in their usual places - ergo my bed and the cat house.
Ina claims that adding mushrooms to mac and cheese makes it elegant - I just think adding mushrooms to almost anything makes it tastier; plus, you get a shot of Vitamin D 
Whoever repaired TVs in the local laundromat and switched them from Channel 7 to Channel 4 so I am not tortured with The View anymore - thank you, oh dear fellow human!
Speaking of The View - Jenny McCarthy is slated to join that gaggle of clucking hens, and it seems like a lot of people complained. Why? She is pure perfection there!
And speaking of laundromat: a nice, very civic minded young lady there confessed to all and sundry that she never knows if Amber Alert is usually for a car or a child - oh, Gd help us!
Jennifer Hudson is the latest celebrity who wants to melt all the swords into the plow shears: she instagramed a picture of herself wearing a t-shirt that spells "love" out of different weapons. Lady, I can almost forgive you the Weight Watchers, but this really is beyond the pale.
"Rihanna flashes diamond-encrusted teeth" - how ghetto of her.
Goth Barbie is currently trending at #1 because she is now the second bestselling doll - second only to Barbie doll (whatever that means) - well, I looked at the pictures and I can assure you that Goth Barbie would not be a part of my collection.
Trending at #9 - Olympic boycott. Apparently, Senator Lindsay Graham, he of Gang of 8 Amnesty and muslim butt kissing, proposed to boycott Olympics in Sochi if Russia grants asylum to Snowden. Uh, Lindsay, the time to act was before Snowden flew the coop and blabbed our secrets to Chinese and Russians! Now try to do your primary job by at least making believe you want to protect US citizens against the barbarians!
CNN will air "Will and Kate plus One" this Thursday night, regardless of whatever the baby will actually appear or not by that point - at least that will give them an hour off kissing Hussein's behind and attacking America and its patriots.
Meanwhile, the Queen admitted that she is anxious for the baby to arrive as she is going on holiday - grandma, go and enjoy! Will will call you with the news as soon he or she will arrive!
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 14

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Hope this will be a great week for all of you! The weather is, once again, triple H - eff it!
George spent most of the night on my bed and kept trying to groom me - my repeated assurances that I am not a cat did not work. Also, I think that he is a glutton for punishment, because he mainly sleeps by my feet and, I am sure, gets kicked plenty while I am sleeping. Sniff finally proved to be a decent hunter last night. Right now both of them are sleeping in their designated spots in my room.
The morning on TV started with about 3 infomercials from Guthy Renker, and then moved on to about 5 or 6 infomercials for different juicers - which was still more interesting than Meet The Nation with Reid vs. McConnell.
Yesterday Dad was burning to write a letter to NYPD informing them that their traffic division is comprised of people who are either dumb or blind or both (as he got ticketed for not having his registration displayed on his car, when, in fact, the registration was displayed in almost comically huge size right on his windshield) - we wisely disabused him of this notion.
Guess what's trending at #1 right now? Donnie Wahlberg - because he is dating Jenny McCarthy! Nice to know that so many people have their priorities straight!
Trending at #2 - Tara Reid; right after a bunch of her images (all of them half-naked), there is a great piece of news confirming that "she is up for a 'Sharknado' sequel" - again, great to know!
Miley Cyrus made fashion news - she went to Trader Joe's wearing what I can only describe as half-naked dress made of dollar bills. Thanks for trying to ruin my fave store, Miley!
Beyonce "honored" Trayvon Martin during her concert in Nashville - confirming, once again, that not only is she a racist, but that any "white" person who supports her in any way is a self-hating masochist.
Halle Berry finally got married after only about 2 years of dating and being engaged - Mazal Tov!
"Justin and Selena are back together and more in love than ever" - spare me, please!
And, finally, Kate's official due date passed with no baby so far. She went to her family's home supposedly to avoid the head in London - good luck, Kate!
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug (the newer version).

Friday, July 12, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 11

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is New York summer, @#%&!
Feline companions are doing their usual extra sleeping - this time in Baby Bro's room. Also, Sniff has no sense of self-preservation - his battle wound was fresh once again last night.
According to my intelligence sources, CVS stores in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts no longer offer tobacco for sale, only the smocking secession products - did Bloomberg get to them as well?
Someone actually bought a 30 seconds ad sport on CBS; the ad was against Obamacare - nice job!
Khloe Kardashian is trending at #1 right now because she was defending her hubby after his recent dust-up with paparazzi - aw, how wifely and domestic of her!
Yet another hairdo made the news - this time it was none other than our dear Hilary Rodham Clinton! Well, the cut itself is a great improvement over what she had before, but she still looks butt ugly - and it has nothing to do with her physical features.
According to Laura Prepon, her former co-stars Mila and Ashton would definitely get married - let's hope Ashton is not going to cheat on Mila after they walk down the isle.
A dude in Tennessee got robbed after an attractive woman showed up and wanted to skinny dip in his pool - I hate to say it, but if it ain't broke, why change it? It worked from the beginning of time and still delivers.
A Saudi princess living in California was arrested for human trafficking - why the hell was she living in Orange County and not Riyadh?
And, finally, it looks like Will wants to break the official protocol and call his grandma on an encrypted phone line as soon as the baby is born, instead of the usual complicated rigmarole - this is what comes out of marrying a commoner.
Coffee this morning in my Chivas glass.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 12

ood Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is not as bad as in the beginning of the week, but still suck-y - well, we will just have to survive another 2 months or so.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual business.
Feline companions complained about life (separately), demanded attention (likewise, separately), dined (one right after another), engaged in a scuffle, and are now co-sleeping on my bed (see the illustration on my wall). Also, keep forgetting that Sniff actually snores - get a bit of a shock every time I realize who is making those noises.
Another testament to male logic: found James Herriot's "All Things Bright and Beautiful" in a box labeled "romances" - how romantic are the memoirs of a vet, I ask you?
According to the latest issue of my monthly bible (aka Glamour Magazine), 75% of men who died during sex were cheaters - I wonder who was collecting the data on this one.
Trending at #6 is the latest fish oil study that claims that too much of this healthy substance increases the risk of prostate cancer - once again proving my motto "eat, drink, be merry, and enjoy life as much as you can".
An astronaut recently filmed a short video of her washing her hair in zero gravity - I never knew before this that there is such a thing as a shampoo that you don't need to rinse out.
A dude in Illinois was arrested for stealing identities of 50 costumers in the steak house he was managing in order to finance 2 Disney cruises and 15 trips to Disney World for himself - wow! And I thought I was addicted to that place!
Janet Napolitano is leaving her post as the head of DHS in order to become a president of the University of California - I don't know who is going to replace her at DHS, so a bit early to clap from joy, but the students are definitely screwed.
And, finally, according to Us Weekly, Kate's fave dish during pregnancy was a vegetarian curry - a very valuable information indeed!
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

FIRST TIME AT THE KOTEL

A couple of months ago, at the ripe old age of twenty five plus, plus, plus, I finally made it to the Kotel.

It was a nice, clear night in Jerusalem with a magnificent moon and bright stars in the clear sky. The Plaza was not as crowded as it usually is, but still had some people posing for pictures. And here is was – the Wall that I have seen countless times before on the pictures, finally real, right in front of me.

As I slowly approached the ancient stones, there was no excitement – the same way there was no excitement when KGB called us late one evening and told us that we can leave USSR. That was not a “yippee” moment. And finally my hand was touching a cold, weathered stone. My throat closed, and for a while I could not say anything; I just stood there with tears running down my cheeks. And then I started praying – praying for my family, for our people, for the Holy Land, for my country....

And as I was wrapping up my conversation with The Heavenly Father, I realized something – this is not a wailing wall; this place is a testament of our survival and our eternal bond with Him. These stones, bleached by harsh sun, survived not only the destruction of the Temple, but the countless battles waged over this piece of land that so many conquerors wanted to claim for their own. And in the end it is ours. Ours to connect with The Creator and to try and remember who we truly are.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 10

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is usual for the beginning of the hurricane season, even though this is New York and not Miami.
Feline companions are sleeping for a change - on my bed and in the cat house respectively. They also got a new box yesterday and fought a bit about the ownership of the said box. Final tally - George got the box, and Sniff got a chance to sleep on my bed. His latest battle wounds, acquired last week, are finally showing the signs of healing.
Cozi TV is running 40 Pounds of Trouble, which, in case you did not see it, is one of these 50's movies that makes you yearn for the good old times of innocence and also wonder how it would be made if it was produced today. I suspect that it would be some kind of "gritty" drama about pedophiles in the gambling establishment as opposed to the original story about a little girl who ended up stranded in the casino and the entire staff fell in love with her and took care of her (with blatant health code and union rules violations).
Shift dresses work best for any kind of figure - duh! You just figured that one out?
Cynthia Rowley came up with a new bracelet: for a mere 225 USDs you can have a piece of costume jewelry that doubles as an alcohol flask! Can she now come up with a bracelet that can double as a mini Kindle with a book or two or ten for the next wedding reception I would be obliged to attend?
Heidi Klum's "racy" billboards were banned in LA due to nudity - wow, who the heck woke up over there?
Kris Jenner does not want to be called Grandmother because it sound a bit "funky" to her - yea, she is right; she and her progeny are beyond funky.
Stacy Keibler, Clooney's latest ex, apparently got more Hollywood cred while being his girlfriend, so, that is probably the reason women are eager to date that jerk.
"Obama 'Broccoligate" Kerfuffle Sparks Mockery" - just savor this one!
Justin Bieber's new "prank" - peeing in a bucket inside a nightclub. If I was a club owner, I would simply make him mop the entire club using this bucket - after, of course, he would have thoroughly disinfected it.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 9

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! Triple H once again - blessed July in New York! Ladies, I hope that you had a fantastic Rosh Chodesh yesterday and did not burden yourselves with too much housework. As we are in the middle of 9 days, your husbands were excused from giving you the requisite presents.
Feline companions declared detente and are trying to keep to their respective corners and ignore each other as much as possible - but Sniff is constantly tempted to brake the truce and go on the offensive.
Emma Watson revealed in a recent interview that when she was a child, she took her inspiration from Emma Bunton, aka Baby Spice - and so the chain continues.
"Heidi Klum debuts superfrizzy hairstyle" - well, it is summer, and a lot of women I know complain of frizzy hair during the summer, so, maybe Heidi wants to become one with the masses?
Brad Pitt is, apparently, jealous of Matt Damon, because Damon can walk his kids to school (as his wife is not a famous actress), and Pitt (who is shacked up with a very famous one), can't - aw, poor baby! My heart bleeds borsch for his plight - and my head hurts when I remember how many morons actually think that anything this jackass says is worthy of listening to, never mind repeating.
George Clooney broke up with his latest girlfriend - oh, come one! The dude declared time and again that he is a confirmed bachelor and does not believe in long-term relationships, so what kind of airhead would want to be with him to begin with? Ah, why am I asking - after all, there are plenty of dunces from both sexes who actually think that he is a talented actor and a handsome guy.
Princess Beatrice (Will and Harry's cousin) claimed that she loved Harry Potter books so much that it helped her overcome her dyslexia - another muggle rescued by Harry's magic.
Bieber's mother is worried about his bad behavior - duh!
And, finally, Kate and Will's baby got an official royal title - let the kid appear in peace, for goodness sake, then worry about the names and the titles.
Coffee this morning in my Chivas glass - yes, I know, sacrilege galore!

Monday, July 08, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 7

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a great week! 
It's triple H again, @#%&!
A half-naked old dude was walking under my window earlier spaying something - I assume the bushes, which management planted last year trying to make this place look better.
The battle for sovereignty over our place continues between George and Sniff. Yesterday George re-established his mastery over the top of the bookshelf, which now joins my bed and the cat house on the list of places Sniff can only visit when George is not there.
How many beauty products is Guthy Renker making already? At least 3 infomercials at the same time, and at least 2 infomercials for juicers - interesting, that.
Emma Watson claims that she is in love with Britain and does not want to live in LA - lady, you can travel all you want for work, make airlines happier, and be another proponent of healthy environment who leaves a healthy carbon footprint. You can also exert yourself and speak up against the vicious invaders that are killing everything that is good about Britain - at an alarming rate.
Solange Knowles is currently trending at #1 because she and her dear sister Beyonce did not show up for their dad's wedding - classy yet again.
Nigella's hubby wants a divorce because she did not defend him after pictures of him grabbing her neck in a public place were making headlines - duh! You are trying to choke your wife in a public place, and she is supposed to defend you?
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez reunited on the 4th of July, after which Bieber twitted about "great night" - what kind of idiot pills is Jelena taking anyway?
Aniston's make up artist "revealed" her secrets - I think she did that in Glamour about 4 yeas ago, but who is counting anyway.
And, finally, the paparazzi are lining up in front of London's St. Mary's hospital in anticipation of the royal baby's arrival - gosh, these people are worse than the Star Wars fans, even if they are being paid for it (supposedly).
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

Friday, July 05, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 5

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's July in New York, so triple H till after Labor Day, eff it!
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual routine, plus there are some strange noises coming down besides the usual vacuum roar.
A sign that you are living a a ghetto - men in undershirts walking in and out of your building.
George, as usual, came in to snuggle, to be petted, and also to lick and nibble. Sniffles and I had a staring contest in between him staring outside through the hole in the blinds he made for himself earlier this year.
Eva Longoria joins a list of celebs dating a younger man - which I profoundly don't care about, as long as she stays away from fighting for the civil rights of illegals.
"Heidi Klum shares patriotic July 4th bikini shot" - if this passes for patriotism, this country is in huge trouble.
Here are the 10 most wonted airport amenities: "1. Cinema 2. Sleep pod 3. Library 4. Park 5. Vanity area 6. Kids play area 7. Pool 8. Gym 9. Man-made beach 10. Bikes " People, you get to watch the movie on the plane, you can schlepp your own reading materials, you don't need beaches, but all of us really need TSA to disappear!
Dude decided to run a mile in 129 degree heat wearing a Darth Vader suit - all for seeing the shocked looks on people's faces. No comment.
Babies born on the same date with Kate's baby will receive a special commemorative coin in a blue or pink pouch - I wonder how many of those would survive till kids' graduations.
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 4

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is - ah, it's July! 
Happy Birthday to our magnificent country! 
Feline companions, as always, are not happy with the weather. Last night, surprisingly, after snoozing for a while in the cat house Sniff came on my bed, snuggled up, allowed to be petted and scratched under his chin, and then continued to eat my summer blanket - a noble deed that he started few months ago. George is snoozing on top of some files right now, and Sniff is back in the cat house.
Avril Lavingne wore a black wedding gown - is it because it's already her second marriage, or does she have good feeling about this one? Of course, black gown on Avril is nothing to Honey Boo Boo's Mama June, who were camouflage gown with orange underskirt and camouflage trim on her veil - some wedding that must have been!
Amanda Bynes is currently trending at #4 because of her interesting tweets, one of whom is her musing about needing plastic surgery before her wedding - how about just finding a decent shrink and keeping up with the meds?
Tom Cruise is reputed to have many toys and was seen driving a new bike on the eve of his 51st birthday - well, Tom is definitely a guy; why is this news?
"15 Of Kim Kardashian's Most Patriotic Fashion Moments" - spare me, please!
Justin Bieber announced his third fragrance - likewise, spare me!
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug - note to self: get a nice patriotic mug for special occasions!

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 3

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is normal for July in New York, darn it! Feline companions, of course, are asleep as they don't like this weather at all - George is on my bed, and Sniff on top of Baby Bro's knapsack. 
Melissa is suggesting that making one night a week a pasta night would save you a ton of money - duh! That's what I have been doing for a long, long time! Anne is making bagna cauda, which immediately made me remember Babylon 5. Also, a dudette on Create network was telling that as she was living in a small town, there were no "artisanal" cheeses available, so she got her own goats and got cracking on her own cheese - what got me rolling was the fact that she was milking her goats wearing bracelets! 
Baby Bro also got me cackling with laughter this morning when he pointed out a great phrase in NYU alumni magazine "non-grad alum" - a great way to describe a college drop-out!
It looks like Chanel fashion show is extra special: Jennifer Lawrence wore crazy-looking pants to it, while Rihanna showed up in what looked like huge see-through shirt which she only buttoned with 3 buttons - I personally prefer the crazy-looking trousers.
Ashlee Simpsons is currently trending at #1 because she might be dating Diana Ross's son - why is this at #1? 
Meanwhile, Elvis' granddaughter is trending at #4, as it was confirmed that she was the read-headed woman dating R-Patz - I see Hollywood is covered with fresh hearts and flowers!
On a separate note, Greta Van Susteren is currently at #5 because she confirmed that she is staying at Fox and not going back to CNN - hum, when it's a choice between staying with much more popular network and being made fun of on SNL, or going to much less popular network, and not being attacked by lefties lackeys masquerading as comedians, which would you choose?
Tom Brady and Giselle had a fantastic family outing at Disney's California Adventure (with cute pictures attached, of course) - I hope their impact on the environment was minimal.
Elle Macpherson recreated her Playboy cover on the latest issue on Australian Harper's Bazaar - feminists are eerie silent.
Jennifer Aniston is bemoaning the one time she was forced to it at McDonald's while she was traveling with Justin and there were no other options along the road - aw, poor baby! My heart is heavy for your plight!
Dr. Shepherd from "Grey's Anatomy" is top pick from TV personalities for a potential husband - whom the heck were they asking?
"Easy way to slice a melon" - oh, for pete's sake! Take a knife and a cutting board and slice!
Finnish social security service sent Kate their usual gift for expectant mothers (the gift includes condoms) - classy.
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 2

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is usual for July in New York - which is: if you can walk on the street without suffocating or being drenched by torrential rain, you are fine.
Sniff went on a walk yesterday, but only stayed in the hallway - the great big outdoors scare him. George abandoned his amazon box and is now occupying a more snug box from the toilet paper.
The main fun of watching any kind of Western is to see women having shotguns at the ready and firing them at different kind of human scum.
Alicia Silverstone is trending at #3 because she launched a breast milk sharing program for vegan moms - how about launching a common sense initiative?
Jennifer Lawrence has committed her first fashion faux pas - and at a fashion show, of all places! Well, her pants were ridiculous, but at least she was dressed.
Kristen Stewart, on the other hand, was supposedly dazzling when she showed up "after keeping a low profile for months", while R-Patz was "spotted with a redhead" - twi-hearts definitely got their final hopes dashed.
Selena Gomez "got emotional" when she found out that her single became #1 - I am also emotional at the thought of horrible taste that our youth has.
Kaley Cuoco is dating the latest Superman, otherwise known as Henry Cavill - I don't know if this is funny for anyone not watching The Big Bang Theory, but it's hilarious to me.
Avril Lavingne's wedding festivities went on all night - did not know that she or her husband are chassidish.
No coffee yet as we mysteriously run out of milk last night.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

MORNING REPORT - JULY 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Happy first day of July! It's raining outside, but at least not so stifling inside - man, do I love the summer in New York!
Dad is continuing his attempts to put the harness on Sniff and take him for a walk. Incidentally, yesterday one of our heighbours was duly impress with his (Sniff's) size. George is sleeping in his amazon box.
Marc Summers was showing the production of turkish toffee somewhere in PA - and you could clearly see OU-D on the boxes and wrappers - I love this country! Ina was making Texas chili with her friend and getting a kick out of the fact that 2 Jewish girls were cooking chili.
Justin Theroux is currently trending at #1 - and not because he hates LA, while his fiancee, Jennifer Aniston, hates NY. No, the reason he is trending at #1 is because, apparently, he goes commando while jogging in his beloved New York - really need to know where he likes to do that in order to avoid seeing it - because the mental image alone is spittoon worthy.
Congratulations to Jessica Simpson on the birth of a son on Sunday - and congratulations to the baby boy who is stuck with her as a mother and the name Ace Knute Johnson!
The study of Chilean mummies revealed that in pre-colonial times people of all incomes had "nicotine habit" and also enjoyed hallucinogens - nothing is new under the sun.
Tomatoes are a "superfood" that can improve your skin, protect you from cancer, and even "promote healthy sleep" - so, next time you can't fall asleep, just munch on tomato instead of drinking alcoholic beverages; I can so see it becoming a trend (not).
Justin Bieber was seen in Vegas with "ANOTHER New Mystery Girl" - I wonder what name this couple is going to get.
Coffee this morning in my clear glass from Target.