The Best Motto

Gd, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannon change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

You woke up this morning - Congratulations! You got another chance!

Sunday, December 22, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 20

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's warming up!! Flip flops were worn, of course. Sniff is in a very friendly mood, and even allowed some snuggle time. George got a chance to explore the inside of my dresser, and is now snoozing on my bed.
The crazy upstairs already performed her routine.
A woman came into the store looking for a book on the war of 1812 that's "on the child's level"; as she herself had no idea that America actually fought some kind of a was in 1812, I offered her a book on American history "on the child's level".
Currently trending at #1 is Bristol Palin - because of her support for Phil Robertson. Crucify both of them!
Trending at #2 is Katie Couric - because her talk show was cancelled. I guess once she had to do something slightly different from constant attacks on the right wingers and spreading malicious lies about them, it sorta did not work out.
Trending at #4 is Harry Potter - as it is becoming a stage play. Have mixed feelings about that one.
Trending at #8 is Kate Upton, who "sizzles in bikini" for her new movie trailer. Feminists, where are you on this one?
Somebody had a bright idea of inserting our celebrities into the classic works of art - the result confirmed my earlier assertions that most of modern entertainers are butt ugly.
"A foodie pilot for Pakistan International Airlines" delayed an international flight for more than 2 hours because he refused to take off without sandwiches on board - parents of picky eaters, rejoice! You have it pretty easy after all.
"Anxiety linked to higher risk of a stroke" - duh!
New York Daily News actually compiled the list of Justin Bieber's top worst moments of 2013 - I guess doing it to Obama is a bit risky.
Coffee this morning in my Get a Grip mug.

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 18

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's nice and cold outside, which, according to Al Gore & Co., is because the Arctic ice is melting at an alarming rate and simultaneously cooling the Golf Stream. 
George decided to quietly haunt me this morning and only started his loud meows when he realized that the chicken was on its way. Sniff escaped last night in order to explore our very sophisticated hallway.
Yesterday had "an educator" as a costumer - woman could not follow simple directions and was rude and obnoxious in the bargain; I wonder if she is a graduate of the The Teacher's College.
Currently trending at #1 is Pippa Middleton - because she is, reportedly, engaged! Mazal Tov! The world is waiting with baited breath for the discussions of the ring, the wedding venue, fashions, menu, etc, etc, etc.
Trending at #2 is Christina Aguilera - who, by performing with Lady Gaga, "put feud rumors to rest". The only thing that comes to mind is "freak show".
Brad Pitt is turning 50; he claims that "the one downfall of aging is 'your face kind of goes'"- well, duh!
Stars like Madonna, LeBron, Kim K., Gaga, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Kanye, and Rihanna are supposedly displaying Illuminati symbols - how low did the Illuminati fall if they accepted those uneducated morons as their members?!!!
Kerry "tours typhoon-ravaged" Philippines - poor people can't get a break!
Justin Bieber claimed that he is "retiring" - yea, I'll believe it when I see it.
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug.

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 17

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! It's snowing again! Global warming, my aching coccyx! Feline companions are, of course, snoozing away - George in the papasan, and Sniff in the cat house. For reasons unknown, they prefer to sleep in my room, even though it's the coldest spot in the place. 
Poor cats were deprived of their latest object of desire and affection, otherwise known as the latest huge Amazon box - it was finally emptied and recycled, and they don't even get to fight over an empty box.
The kid who hates her daycare was heard again today; ditto for the crazy upstairs, who resumed with extra vigor. The crazy outside, however, was not heard since Sunday - yippee?
Yesterday was both Beethoven's and Austen's birthdays - hurray for the dead white males and females and their beautiful and sublime art! Also, Julia Quinn pointed out that all women want Mr. Darcy, but men have no idea who that is. Gentlemen - got at least 2 copies of Pride and Prejudice you could borrow... oh, heck, what I am saying?!!
According to Men's Health, 58% of men "'forgotten' to pick up after their pooch" - and I bet you that at least half of them lives right here, in NY!
Currently trending at #1 is Denise Richards - because, according to her ex, Charlie Sheen, she is a "holiday humbug". OK, dude, you messed up, and your wife left you - way to be a classy gentleman in return.
"2 common light bulbs will be banned on January 1" - oh, what an enlightened times we live in!
Our dear government spent about 1 million USDs studying - ready for this?- romance in popular culture! On the bright side - that's one million that did not go to illegals or muslim terrorists.
Dennis Rodman is planning another visit to North Korea - can he stay there already?
Walmart is selling Occupy posters - good for Walmart!
And, finally, you can read about Kate and Will's new bulletproof Bentley - interesting, considering that England is one big "gun free" zone.
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

Monday, December 16, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 12

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather remains cold - still no flippies. Felines, however, adjusted a bit to the cold and are much more active. Sniff did his tail-puffing routine, and George did his treat-demanding routine.
The crazy upstairs is strangely quite; however, the new crazy did her screaming and cursing outside.
Both FB and Linkedin keep offering me to get connected to a bunch of people that I am desperately trying to avoid in real life; why would I want to connect with them in cyberspace?
Currently trending at #1 is Jenny McCarthy - because, according to someone named Julie Chen, Jenny "is not good for the View". Really?! I think she fits perfectly there, together with all the other uneducated and uninformed harpies. What really gets me going is seeing her books in Family and Childcare section - because I am old enough to remember her other book, with completely different cover, which would not be appropriate anywhere near children.
Trending at #10 are cashmere sweaters - very, very important subject, boys and girls, what can I say.
Kim Kardashian claims that she has "mixed feelings" about her latest bikini cover shot because she is so "critical" of herself - lady, please. You look even less smart once your mouth opens.
"Oprah and 'The Butler' got snubbed by the Globes" - by heart bleeds borsch.
Sriracha shortage continues - this is beginning to remind me of my childhood.
"Seattle police uncover stolen wine stash" - 2,500 bottles worth more than $650,000 were recovered. Who was robbed to begin with - Frasier Crane?
Kevin Federline is expecting his 6th child - where are social services when you need them?
"Justin Bieber May Face Interpol Arrest" - OK, let's not get overly dramatic here.
And, finally, Kate "recycled" yet another dress - listen, even Princesses have to stick to some kind of a budget (unlike, of course, our embarrassment of the First Lady).
Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Bean Bag Plush mug with Mickey and Friends.

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 11

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's windy and freezing outside - flip flops are staying home.
George perfected the art of begging for treats - he meowes piteously for a while, runs into the kitchen, climbs on the window sill, and stares at the pantry where the treats are stored; basically, the hint is very clear. Sniff, on the other hand, keeps perfecting his look of utter boredom and disdain.
The elevator is being repaired (again) with all the appropriate noises - thank Gd for the first floor apartment.
The cold is not scaring my Slavic neighbors - there are continued yells and curses outside.
Currently trending at #2 is Ian Ziering - because of his claim to making the Sharknado in order to keep health insurance. Damn you, Obamacare!
Gisele is trending at # 8 because she shared "breastfeeding photo" - really am not sure if the guys who love Victoria's Secret models were awed or scared by that particular shot.
Selena Gomez claims that she is the type of girl guys would love to take home to their mothers - dream on, lady.
"7 things you may not know about Britney Spears" - I am happy to remain ignorant on the subject.
Bieber complained that "people forget I am a human being" - so please behave like one.
Mazal Tov to Kate Winslet on the birth of her son - now the wait begins: what kind of crazy name will this celeb baby get?!!
Coffee this morning in my Boston mug - because I think they are even colder today than we are.

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 10

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! It's cold, snowing, and yucky outside. The cats, once again, decided to hibernate -George on my bed, and Sniff on Baby Bro's chair. Of course, first they had to have at least two good fights.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual - also first thing in the morning.
Currently trending at #1 is someone called Kandi Burruss - because she not not currently speaking to someone else called Mama Joyce - that's what is called top news?!!!
Trending at #2 is Adam Sandler - because, according to Forbes, he is the most overpaid actor in Hollywood. I disagree - there are so many more so-called actors in Hollywood who deserve this title much more than Sandler.
Winter coats are trending at #8 - I think they deserve the top spot.
Diamond earrings are trailing at the last spot on #10 - really should be number 2, right after the winter coats.
"Michelle Obama's chic emerald gown" - the cult of personality lives on, and the feast during the plague is raging full force.
TSA sank to the new low by confiscating a toy gun from a Sock Monkey.
The is a calendar of NYC cabbies on the market - please, my eyes!
"Bieber visits Philippines" - poor people! Typhoon was not enough?!
"Candy Crush is too popular for its own good" - I don't think they mind much.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug - I wish I was there right now.

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 9

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week!
The weather is, well, December in NY - no flippies. Sniffy continues to impersonate the reincarnation of a Egyptian god - i.e. he looks down with scorn and disdain at everyone for the last 48 hours or so. George found something worthwhile on the street, but then decided that my bed is soooo much better.
Our costumers continue to be a source of unending entertainment.
The crazy upstairs stopped with the banging for now and resorted to only her usual.
Currently trending at #5 are cruise deals - only #5? What else can you think about during winter but a nice cruise to some warm place?!!
A hot subject on everyone's mind - Mariah Carey's "risque holiday outfits". Again, why is this news? When she would be able to blend with our people in Billy Burgh, that would indeed be a front page material and a hot topic to discuss.
"Sneaky diet tip: cook your pasta al dente" - you cook your pasta al dente, you eat it raw, you stay on a diet. Leave me alone to enjoy my thoroughly cooked spaghetti.
"Justin Bieber describes ideal girl" - spare me!
Kim K. invited a fan to sit with her during Kanye's concert - aw, how sweet!
Coffee this morning will be in my Gevalia travel mug.

Saturday, December 07, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 6

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's rainy and blah-y again, but still warm - at least for the next day or two.
Sniff is up to his usual - sitting on Baby Bro's bed and giving everyone dirty looks. George is in a bad mood, and after doing his usual complaining, plus sneaking in a dirty deed, he is now snoozing in his huge Amazon box.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual as well.
NO CNN today!!! Just Channel 11 on mute - thank you, Gd!
Currently trending at #1 is someone named Porsha Williams - because she finalized her divorce. I wonder how many more people did precisely that today.
Trending at #6 is Mandy Patinkin - because he shaved his "iconic Homeland beard". Congrats, Mandy! You look infinitely better without it (never mind a few months younger).
And trending at #8 is Gwen Stefani - due to showing "Biggest Baby Bump Yet". Oh, please! Just drive east from my house for about 20 minutes, and you will see baby bumps that Gwen never dreamt of.
Jay-Z and Beyonce went on a 22 day vegan "spiritual and physical cleanse" that may not be good for their health - I am not worried. As some of Hussein's biggest buddies, I am sure they are exempt from Obamacare.
Another report claims that their little darling "dresses better than you do" - wow! No joke, Sherlock!
"Miley style conundrum" - what conundrum? What style?
Joey Fatone from 'N Sync is loosing his hair - hence he got a "new gig" as a spokesman for Bosley Hair restoration.
San Fran is number 1 city for hipsters - our fair city of New York is only at #5, even though we got the biggest number of them living here.
"Justin Bieber Is A Free Man After Being Detained For Drug Search In Australia" - what else is new?
And, finally, Kate took a break from wearing royal jewelry and wore a costume necklace to the movie premier - it still sparkled in the pictures.
Coffee this morning in a disposable cup from the bagel shop next to the blessedly quite laundromat.

Thursday, December 05, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 5

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! Happy Eight Day of Chanukah! Ladies, I hope this Rosh Chodesh was very nice, and hubbies remembered it as well 
It's dreary outside, but still pretty warm for December. 
Sniff did not overturn his bowl this morning - he just stirred the contents around, and then decided to have breakfast. George was so hungry for chicken that he continued eating despite all the noises that usually spook him.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff, plus she added some kind of on again, off again banging to her repertoire.
According to Men's Health, 85% of men admitted to ogling women in the gym - I guess the other 15% are either not honest or are batting for the other team, so to speak.
Currently trending at #9 is little black dress - probably because it's a popular item on the shopping list; definitely top page news.
A new initiative in Amsterdam that offers alcoholics beer in lieu of payment for cleaning the streets is gaining popularity - may we take a page from the same book and start paying politicians in manure?
Our Dear Leader is not allowed to use an Iphone for "security reasons" and is stuck with Blackberry - aw, poor Hussein!
Krispy Krems are the top donuts of this year - well done! Could you please come to NY already?!!!
A color called "radiant orchid" will the be the color of the year for 2014 - did you hear that, Building Management? Start stacking up on it - and maybe re-paint the hallway?
New trend in bathroom appliances - vitamin C shower filters. Building Management, get to work!
"Jessica Simpson looks to hot to handle" - so don't handle! She is not your wife anyway.
"Justin Bieber's video vixen claims Selena Gomez dissed her" - oh, get a life, lady. Why would you care about Selena, or get mixed up with Bieber anyway?!
And, finally, there is a whole discussion about the history of the tiara that Kate wore recently - fascinating, that one.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug - the new version.

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 4

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Happy Seventh Day of Chanukah! Happy Rosh Chodesh! Ladies, I hope your hubbies remembered about Rosh Chodesh yesterday, and if not, they have today to do something about it. 
The weather rocks once again, so don't be surprised if Al Gore and some of the members of the IPCC will climb out from under some rock they were hiding, and lecture us a bit more.
Sniff came in to be petted this morning, then, as usual, proceed to eat my blanket. George is snoozing in his huge Amazon box.
No mice made an appearance yesterday, and we also got our shipment of Mockingjay!!!
Octavia Spencer is yet another celebrity who decided to become a children's book author. Also, we had some actor from True Blood making an appearance, as he also decided to write a book.
Currently trending at #7 are Ugg Boots - because they are "Black Friday's Hottest Fashion Item". People really have no taste in clothes, but as long as they are wasting their own money, let them enjoy their ugly boots - pun not intended.
Gillian Andersen posed for a photo with an eel for some kind of ocean benefit campaign - needless to say, she was also topless. I was always wondering at the necessity of ditching clothes in order to protect Mother Earth.
The most popular puppy names in 2013 were Bella and Max - any guesses why?
Kaley Couco is vacationing in the Bahamas with her fiance - who does not want to vacation in the Bahamas in December?
Jennifer Hudson admitted that at the time she won her Oscar she had no idea what Oscar meant - here is a record of living in a cave, ladies and gents!
Pope admitted that one of his past jobs was being a bouncer at the Buenos Aires airport - interesting, that.
"Justin Bieber is all grown up in the new music video" - really?!! You don't say!
And, finally, Kate wore a tiara for the first time since her wedding - long overdue, princess!
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 3

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! Happy Sixth Day of Chanukah! Happy Rosh Chodesh! Ladies, please don't forget that this is your half-holiday - or at least make sure your hubbies remember it! 
The weather is simply rocking, considering that it's December in our fair city. Cats are definitely more awake - this morning I woke up to a strange racket that turned out to be their fight. After the said fight, Sniff came in for some sugar, and then proceeded to eat my blanket once again. They also got a new fountain that His Highness George approves of, so his pink drinking bowl is now his feeding bowl for his chicken.
Another mouse made his or her appearance yesterday - I was just amused and said hi to it; the costumer in the next aisle was duly scandalized, the big ninny.
Currently trending at #1 is Ozzy Osbourne - tamely enough, only due to his 65th birthday. Well, Happy Birthday, Ozzy!
Trending at #3 is Darth Vader - because it looks like he posted an Iphone selfie. Wow, even the forces of evil are not immune to the lures of vanity and modern technology!
Trending at #4 is Kardashian christmas card - wow, only #4?!!! This piece of earth-shattering news surely deserves the top spot!
George Clooney claims that he got a glimpse of his dream woman when he was 11, fell in love, and hence did not meet "The One" yet - dude, nobody is really berating you for your womanizing, so, just enjoy it while you can and don't blurt stuff that would require somebody to call in psychiatric help.
Miley Cyrus was the most searched name on Yahoo this year, followed by Kim K; Bieber was at #10, and Selena Gomez at #5 - interesting statistics, what can I say.
Royal Baby, on the other hand, had a huge impact on the baby naming trends, both for boys and girls - well, Georgette is not the worst name a little girl can get stuck with; and if you disagree, just think of North West.
And, finally, Kate wants her mother to accompany them on their upcoming tour as a traveling nanny - I see this trend of grandma babysitter is not limited to the people from step-mama country.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

Monday, December 02, 2013

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 2

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Happy Fifth Day of Chanukah! Wishing all of you a fantastic week!
The weather seems to be warming up. Kitties are warming up too - George complains more, and Sniff fights more often. Now, however, they are blissfully quite, with Sniff snoozing in the cat house next to me.
Speaking of cats - would like to institute Bring Your Pet To Work Day, as our floor seems to be home to a few mice. Would be really interesting to see the results.
Yesterday 2 barbarians from step-mama country were complaining about the lack of organic apples in the local fruit store. Was dearly tempted to offer them to go back to whence they came and grow their own very organic apples.
The latest issue of Men's Health has a very interesting article about health and psychological benefits of being grateful. Basically, simple mantra of "count your blessings" has a whole field of psychology growing out of it. But, of course, people who have faith are supposed to be backwards, dim, and uneducated.
Both Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are flitting around the top ten currently trending because it looks like he wants to "woo" her back by any means necessary, even pancakes! Wasn't he the one who walked out on her? Plus, since when is she eating pancakes?!!
Jeff Bezos claims that he has a "futuristic" idea that will ensure the package delivery in 30 minutes or less - not if you partner with USPS, dude! Their futurist ideas seem to include the employment of tortoises.
Yet another holiday survival guide for singles, including the requisite picture of a woman with the cat! Seriously?!!! I would take my cats - or the cat pictured - over any guy I ever dated. Believe me, my holiday season is richer due in large parts to minimal amounts of male idiocy.
10 "savvy" end of year tax moves - number one would be getting rid of the IRS; that would definitely be "savvy"!
"Kris and Bruce speak out about split" - assuring their kids on camera that everything will be fine! No wonder their offspring is so touched in the head.
And, finally, Bieber went shirtless again - this time in Sidney; poor Aussies!
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 29

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! Happy Second day of Chanukah!
The weather improved slightly from yesterday, but still pretty chilly. Feline companions are in hibernation mode - which, of course, did not prevent George from a bit of whining in the morning, and Sniff from making a mess with food and fighting with the old guy.
As it's Black Friday, I am staying home - totally away from the madness.
Currently trending at #3 is Nicki Minaj - because her "Selfie Exposes Ample Cleavage". If something exposed her brain or education, that would be news. Her, um, generous attributes, on the other hand, are very much old news.
Trending at #7 is Victoria Beckham - as she "guest-edited" the last issue of Paris Vogue. I guess this is becoming another one of her career choices, as she also guest-edited an issue of American Glamour earlier this year - and, needless to say, breaking news.
At at #9 we have Mariah Carey - because she claimed to have baked a pie, hence the whole discussion ensued as to whatever she really did or did not make it.
Our wonderful First Lady claims that she does not want her daughters to be on the Facebook - it's OK, Michelle! The deep disgust we feel for you and your dear husband is expressed outside the Facebook as well.
Justin Bieber left his "artwork", otherwise known as graffiti, in a hotel in Australia. The hotel is proud, but the mayor ordered him to "clean up his mess" - poor Bieber! The dude just can't catch a break!
Kate attended a charity gala while Will was supposedly on babysitting duty - aw!!! The royal family got so poor that they could not afford a babysitter so those two can go together?
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney mug with Pooh and Friends.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 28

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! Happy First Day of Chanukah! Happy Thanksgiving! 
The weather is arctic. Baby Bro decided to give the crazy upstairs a run for her money and vacuumed the place; she took it as a personal insult and vacuumed extra strong right after him.
Cats do not like the vacuum. George run into hiding right away; Sniff started to play mashgiach at first, but then got very suspicious and defensive, and finally run away too.
My mom's former co-worker called her today to wish her a Happy Chanukah, and made a very nice blessing "may all the Jews always appreciate each other!" Amen to that!
As for learned men and women among out people who claim that celebrating Thanksgiving is against our religion, and that we really should be grateful every day, and not dedicate only one day for that, allow me to tell you one thing. Take this one day to be grateful for this country - just one day a year.
Just chew on this: when Ferdinand and Isabella, may they rot in hell for eternity, sent Columbus on his famous journey (most probably using some money confiscated from Jews), they never dreamt of setting in motion a chain of events that would result in creation of a country that would serve as a refuge for the descendants of the Jews they expelled! To me the whole story was just one example of historical irony that our enemies suffer from - and, needless to say, Gd's many miracles.
So, peeps, just take a few minutes to say a little prayer for our country - it needs it now more than ever. Be grateful for all that we have here - even if it's just for one day.
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug - because as much as I hate Californian politics, I do love Californian climate!