HAPPY WHATEVER!

Or What Are We Celebrating Again?
You always know far in advance when any holiday, even a “minor one”, is coming: there are sales coming up! Then you get the grumbles if your office is open, and few office weasels who would try and get off regardless; after that, UPS and FedEx would call up to make sure you are open; and, finally, on the day itself, you just wake up, perform your auto-pilot morning routine, and then wonder for a few minutes as to why the subway is so pleasantly empty from the yelling and spitting little and medium-sized animals, uh, I mean inner city school kids. AND then the forbidden invention of Thomas Edison goes on in your head: it’s Veteran’s Day!

This year Veteran’s Day celebrations were especially lively, due, of course, to the reign of our illustrious Chairman, erm, President. The terrorist attack at Ft. Hood, I mean “man-made disaster”, I mean “alleged man-made disaster”, as we can not jump to conclusions so prematurely. The Sun King, I mean, Barak Hussein (Sun King should please forgive me for such insult to his memory), and his lady fair could not find time in their extremely busy schedules to visit till the actual Memorial Service, at which point they presented a wonderful pictures of grief; plus, Partei Genosse, I mean, the President, delivered a very appropriate and almost fantastic speech. Meanwhile, George and Laura Bush paid a visit to Ft. Hood right away – but did it quietly (and without cameras).

The saddest conclusion of Ft. Hood massacre, aside, of course, from horrible loss of life, was the horrific picture of our almost total vulnerability due to the cancerous miasma of so-called multiculturalism and political correctness – especially when it comes to the practitioners of the religion of peace.

Fast-forward to the day itself. Of course, our office was open – our company is pretty stingy with time off. I actually remembered what day it was, and was extremely happy that my dawdling did not go all wrong, and I got my “Home of the free because of the brave” T-shirt before lunch.

Lunch time; your truly is in the elevator together with a usual assortment of representatives of other offices. There were two ladies from a French company who kept yammering about what the heck today is, and why there were no e-mails from France, and why nobody is calling today, and why there is no mail, and then came the masterpiece! “Today is an Armistice anniversary, right?” “Right.” “So, wait, Americans are celebrating our holiday?” “Who knows?” Meanwhile, there was a whole bunch of other people in that elevator, who, judging by their looks, could not care less what we are celebrating and how; only that they were forced to work when the mail and banks are closed. I just could not listen to this idiocy, never mind travesty, and probably had a murderous expression on my mug. Finally, when we were approaching the lobby, and the American employee could not clarify to her French colleague as to the Veterans of which war are we saluting exactly, I exploded and barked “all of them”; nearly adding “ungrateful ignoramuses, all of you!”
And then I left the building and saw few people with flags who were obviously just leaving the parade; and then I saw the soldiers themselves. I dearly wanted to approach them and just shake their hands and thank them – but my idiotic shyness stopped me. I hope some of them saw my T-shirt.

So, belated, but most sincere, cyber salute to all of you, Ladies and Gentlemen, Veterans of all the wars defending ours and other ungrateful jerks’ freedom! From one (but not lonely in this) very grateful and appreciative of her freedom American! May Heavenly Father watch other you and your families and grant you the victory over all our enemies, foreign and domestic!