VALIDATION OF MY “MADNESS”

There are many things that I do in performance of my everyday boring activities that garner raised eyebrows from the passers-by, good natured jokes from my friends, and snide comments from my so-called well-wishers. One prime example is my choice of footwear.


Anyone who knows me personally can vouch that I wear flip-flops around nine months out of twelve – lately around eight months (due to the results of catastrophic man-made global warming). Surprise of surprises – I actually do that for purely practical reasons, and not to reinforce my nonsensical non-conformism.


Anyway, a few weeks ago I forced myself to go to podiatrist – this time due to my innate klutziness that results in my frequent walking into walls and assorted furniture. While making an appointment, I was asked to make sure and prepare a list of all different kinds of footwear I use for different purposes. “Oh, brother,” – was my mental exclamation – “another lecture by a medical professional coming my way”. To further the irony, it rained cats and dogs on the morning of my appointment, so, instead of wearing my derided flip-flops, I borrowed a pair of sneakers from my baby brother and trotted off.


The doctor was punctual and friendly, and he reassured me that my klutziness produced no lasting damage. He was also duly impressed with the general condition of my feet; and then the conversation turned to the dreaded topic – the footwear. He asked me if I were sneakers as a matter of course; I explained to him the reason for the Nikes and my obsession with the “beach shoes”. “So, you wear flip-flips most of the time?” “Yes; even when it gets cold outside, I keep a pair at work to change into.” “And at home?” “Then I just go barefoot”. Guess what his response was to my dreadful confession? “That’s very impressive! I wish all my patients did this – it’s healthy for the feet to be exposed to sun and air for most of the time.”


The second episode occurred about three weeks later when I went for my infrequent hair-cut. To hair salon which I frequent is pretty friendly and informal, which suits me just fine. So, while my hairdresser began on my head, she continued chatting with her previous client. In the middle of this chat, the other lady complimented my hair, telling me that it looks very healthy. The hairdresser got really excited and confirmed that my tresses were very silky to touch (thanks, ladies, you are making me blush). “You know why?” – She continued – “It’s because Barb does not put anything in her hair. All she does is shampoo, condition, and get them cut; no chemicals, no dies, no blow-drying – zip!” The other client was duly surprised and impressed at the same time.


Now I have a slight dilemma – should I submit this story to Glamour, Vogue, In Style, Lucky, and a few other choice publications offering beauty advice to women? Nah, just kidding.