The Best Motto
Gd, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannon changeCourage to change the things I canAnd the wisdom to know the difference.All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.You woke up this morning - Congratulations! You got another chance!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
TO MY BELOVED NIECE, ON HER BIRTHDAY
My Dearest Eh,
Because of the circumstances beyond my
control, this is the first of your birthdays (and hopefully last)
that we are spending apart. But being apart from you only made me
think once again of all the things that make me love you so much.
We met when you were about fifteen
minutes old. The delivery room only allows so many extras inside, so, while you were born, I ended up in a little visitors lounge trying to calm down your
grandfather - who was making valiant attempts at making huge holes in
the cheep floors of that lounge.
Your mommy didn't want to know in
advance if she was having a little boy or a little girl, so, while
you were swimming inside of her, you were just “Baby” - that is,
till the first sonogram; at which point my dear sister declared that
“Baby” looked like a little alien – and the moniker stuck. So,
you were “Alien”, and then, being a real American, your mommy
shortened it to “Alie”; she also claimed that the sound of your
heartbeat was her favorite techno music. Meanwhile, your aunt (I),
who always enjoyed escaping into her daydreams, for some reason kept
imagining that Alie would be a little girl, and that both of us would
become wonderful friends.
So, after that tiny scare that you gave
us upon your arrival, your Aba came into that room and told us “It's
a girl”; you can't begin to imagine the joy and relief those simple
words brought to us. We all crowded into your mommy's room to meet the newest member of our family. My sister looked exhausted – and
transformed by happiness. In her arms she cradled a tiny bundle;
my first words were “ Oh, my Gd! That's Alie?” You looked red
and wrinkled – in the best traditions of all newborn. You were
sucking your whole fist, and your smart, beautiful eyes kept looking
at all the people around you. And all the people in the room were
forever transformed.
We ended up spending a lot of time
together. I was your first official babysitter – the most neurotic
one you ever had (so far). I made sure you were always very clean –
and did your laundry with almost fanatical precision. I made sure to
circulate all your outfits – and took at least one picture in each
one. I had the precise inventory of all your toys in my head. I
cleaned and emptied your stroller after every excursion outside.
Sometimes I took you to Dr. Sima – and believe me, all those shots
hurt me as much as they did you. You officially became a New Yorker
when you took your first subway ride – and your dear aunt
discovered the exact percentage of jerks riding that subway. Also
thanks to me, you had your first brush with jury duty (but that is a
separate story).
Even after I got an “official” job,
I made sure to spend as much time with your as possible. You were an
ideal baby – good tempered and extremely friendly; you used to
smile at anything remotely resembling a human shape. You were not an
exceptionally fussy eater (although you refused to drink formula
under any circumstances).
It was you who first called me “Papi”.
After you got a bit bigger, we began to
explore the city. Your MacLaren Techno saw more subway cars than any
tourist. We went everywhere – The Met, Central Park, FAO Schwartz,
Times Square, Toys R Us in Times Square, Upper West Side, Upper East
Side, Central Park Zoo, Prospect Park Zoo, Columbus Circle, Borders,
Banes and Noble - needless to say, the list is pretty extensive.
Most notable among them was Dylan's Candy Shoppe – in whose
subbasement you took your first unaided steps!! Those steps were duly
witnessed by your mommy, your Papi, largish number of tourists, and
half the floor of Dylan's overpriced, but fantastic merchandise.
It was on those trips when your
presence literally saved me. You see, after surviving 9/11 and the
year following it, Lower Manhattan was something that brought tears
and an overwhelming desire to avoid it as much as possible. But when
I started roaming with you, all of the sudden it was OK to go to
Battery Park City. That park became our favorite destination. Your
company in WFC, by the Famous Bull statue, in Whitehall – it just
leached away pain. I saw you running in Winter Garden, dressed in
your snappy pink outfit from Gymboree and waiving a piece of pastry –
and the horrific picture of that place lying in ruins...it did not
bother me as much. Gd willing, when you get older, I hope you will
understand just how incredibly special that was; how incredibly
special you are, my Eh.
Because, you see, that is not all.
When you were born, we didn't just get a beloved daughter,
granddaughter, and niece – you were the first member of your
mommy's family to be born on American soil; to be born free. Your
ancestors survived it all – virulent anti-Semitism, Muslim and
Christian persecutions, Communists, Nazis, Holocaust...When you
started attending Jewish school – it was beyond triumph for our
family. And when you excelled in your studies, especially Judaic
Studies – we were beyond happy tears. That is how special you and
your younger siblings are, Eh, – we triumphed over all that hatred
and repeated attempts to wipe us out – and we were blessed by the
Almighty with you!
You are beautiful inside and out. You
clearly inherited your mommy's musical and artistic talents – with
Gd help, you will grow to nurture these talents. You are smart and
kind – and you clearly inherited our family's “love” for
homework. You are a great older sister – although you don't always
appreciate your siblings:).
May The Heavenly Father continue to
protect you, your siblings, and your parents; and may He always
bestow His blessings on us all!
Happy Birthday!
I love your curly, fluffy head,
Your Papi.
Monday, May 14, 2012
LAST SEASON
Previously, on Barb's World the
following took place:
(Part 1)
I lost my job. I would love to say
that my old company was a victim of current economic climate, and
that would not be a lie – just not a complete truth. Our Upper
Management, in the best traditions of Idiot Bosses, basically drove
the company into the ground.
True, the work for architects was not
lying on the ground (no pun intended), but we were an old,
established firm with good reputation for doing what we were doing.
Unfortunately, as it turned out, the majority of Upper Echelon were
not architects, and as such did not, according to my Big Boss,
understand the unique financial pitfalls facing architects. So, they
were spending money hand over fist, claiming that the turbulence on
Wall Street will not touch them in Columbus, Ohio – and I am not
joking or making this one up. After embarking on this particularly
brilliant course, they lost a huge project with a major client –
namely, Ohio State University. Now, the prudent course would have
been to cut your losses, collect whatever money you could, and try to
move on, mentally cursing the cantankerous client (I was not privy to
the details, and as such can not really offer an opinion on who was
the real wronged party in this situation – not that it really
matters). Apparently, prudence (never mind logic) were not in the
vocabulary of our Big Cheeses. So, they decided to sue the
above-mentioned major client, and, in the course of pretty lengthy
law suit, they also managed to stage periodic coup d'etats, during
one of which our corporation lost a CEO (and ended up without one for
about nine months).
Now, imagine for a minute that you are
a hospital, or a major laboratory. You need to do serious
renovations on one or more of your buildings, or build a brand new
building. You put out official advertisements and are going through
a bunch of colorful proposals submitted by major firms specializing
in this kind of thing. A particular proposal catches your interest,
and you decide to further investigate the company and determine if
they are as good as they look on paper. Low and behold, simple
Google search will produce a multiple hits, the first of which will
state that the firm is currently in the middle of the law suit with a
former major client, and the second hit will tell you the they
currently have no CEO, and did not have one for quite a while (the
order might be reversed, and you see the CEO business first, and the
law suit thing second). After imagining this particular scenario,
would you honestly tell me that you would hire this company (despite
their long history of solid work)? Yea, it was clear for simple
folks like you and me, and my co-workers, but not clear for the Upper
Echelons of Stupidity, who kept excitedly announcing that we were
short-listed for a project, and then dejectedly add a week or so
later that the other firm got the job.
Obviously, such state of affairs could
not go on indefinitely, as much fun as it was to observe. So, one
fine morning yours truly was called into a meeting with Big Boss and
his Right Hand. During this memorable powwow I was informed that I
would be getting a pink slip in a few weeks – on Erev Rosh Hashana,
of all days. Understandably, these tidings did not cheer me up; but,
as this job was beginning to get to me, and I could not find anything
else (this time thanks to the current regime), I pacified myself with
the idea of couple of months' worth of stay-cation. Ha, if only that
would be the case!
To make a very long and pretty painful
story shorter – I ended up working a few months beyond the original
plan at the reduced hours; in the process, we had to deal for a month
without the internet connection; move to the smaller office for a
month and a half; clean our office out of 30+years worth of
accumulated garbage (thank the Good Lord I was not an architect, so I
did not have to do much); put up with short tempers and temper
tantrums of our remaining bosses, share desks, a phone (singular),
and computers, etc, etc, etc. Towards the end, our most popular
refrain was “when are getting fired already?” On top of all
other delights, on the last week of December we were hit with a
respectable-sized snow storm, so we were closed on Monday and
Tuesday.
Thursday morning started slow ( as
usual); in the afternoon, the three remaining architects departed to
job sites (and holiday parties), so the marketing coordinator and
yours truly were left to guard our pathetic domain (with no clear
plan of workday in site). We were in the middle of schmoozing and
exchanging opinions on the burning topics of pop culture when I
noticed a new e-mail popping up. It was from our Chief Council (who
at that point was almost officially running the firm) with ccs to
everyone of importance still left in the company. In it I was
informed that my last day of employment, as anticipated, would be
December 31; I was further commanded to co-ordinate the transfer of
all projects and files I was responsible for, and was threatened with
denial of severance payment in the event of non-cooperation.
Now, try to visualize this tableau for
a second: it is 3:30 pm on December 30th; office is
deserted aside from the two of us; and on December 31 we are
officially closed; everyone knew that we would eventually get our
pink slips, but nobody was aware of the time table...and now this
luminary of jurisprudence was threatening me with the loss of
severance payment that was promised to me only by the grace and
persistence of our Big Boss and consisted of (are you ready?) of
exactly one weekly paycheck. Of course I was tempted to use coarse
language and tell her to go boil her head – and cc to everyone of
importance still left in the company. But, as I lamented many times
before, it is hard to live with my parents' upbringing; plus, “Miss
Dickinson is a conscientious nurse”, and she likes to leave her
desk tidy. Never the less, I got a bit of bile out of my system by
pointing out to her (and to everyone of importance still left in the
company) that I am a literal person and not a mind-reader, and would
have appreciated at least a day, and not 2 hours of warning,
especially in the face of snowstorm and the end of the year – with
which I deliberately congratulated her (because she decided not to
overburden her correspondence with such niceties).
Next week, I came into office for 4
more hours due to the above-mentioned reasons. The Right Hand, who,
all in all, was a pretty decent dude, profusely apologized for the
stupidity of the higher ups in Ohio and tried to get some kind of
monetary compensation for those dratted 4 hours. I accepted his
apology simply because it was not his fault; the compensation never
materialized (which I am sure was not his fault either). I brought
them donuts (because a cake would have been silly for 4 people); we
hugged and promised to try and keep in touch (the usual promise that
nobody usually intends to keep); and thusly that four-and-a half-year
chapter of my life was closed; and I officially became a part of
statistic.
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