MORNING UPDATE - March 21, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabbat! The weather seems to be improving - Sniff is fully sleeping in the cat house instead of stretching to the radiator. Of course, he is half-hanging anyway, but that is not due to weather. George is sleeping in the papasan on the guest pillows that I keep forgetting to put away.
The crazy upstairs is performing her routine.
Recent discovery: just because people want to buy books does not necessarily mean that they can read, or even know the alphabet.
Currently trending at #5 is Wesboro Baptist Church - because they are asking people not to picked the funeral of their dear founder. That's very magnanimous of them - considering that their picketing schedule comes up immediately after you google them.
Breakfast is trending at #8 - again, not sure why (unless they wanted to show great pictures of breakfasts that are totally not compliant with parteigenosse Michelle's eating guidelines).
Cameron Diaz claims that "everyone will be cheated on" - considering the general moral climate in Hollywood, I thinks it's a "duh" statement.
"The risks of renouncing US citizenship" - the only risk are the liberals who still did not do it.
"Turkey blocks Twitter access" - how else can you show that you are an enlightened democracy?
"Justin Bieber trapped in LA" - who trapped him and why can't we send him back to Canada? Oh, yes, our team lost, darn it!
Coffee in my black glass from Target.

AN OPEN LETTER TO FRED PHELPS

Dear Mr. Phelps (forgive me, but neither my tongue, nor my typing fingers could dare call you Reverend),

I have just one question and one suggestion to address to you.

First, the question: could you please explain to me how a person who calls himself a man of god can – how do you put it? - oh, yes, picket funerals? I don't care what kind of religion or sect do you claim to represent – the question remains: how do you combine these two concepts? And it's not just any old funeral (which in itself is quiet reprehensible and simply inhumane), oh no! You and your congregation-slash-family made it your mission to disturb the funerals of soldiers who died serving our country, the victims of domestic terrorism, the firefighters who perished in the course of performing their duty! How could you do this over and over again and still consider yourselves human, never mind religious?

And here is my suggestion: how about changing your modus operandi in expressing your contempt for the homosexuals? Mind you, I can almost emphasize with you in your loathing for this particular segment of our population – which is comprised, after all, of some of the whiniest, promiscuous, disdainful of others, puffed up with their own importance primadonnas on the planet. But how is the picture of your darling granddaughter wearing a t-shirt that says “god hates Jews” and standing on our flag right next to Ground Zero – and on the anniversary of 9/11 to boot – how precisely does this particular image express your contempt for the homosexuals? If you already made a long journey from Topeka to New York, why not travel to Chelsea instead and do some picketing there? Or, an even better one – why did you never, ever, to my knowledge, tried to disturb any of the so-called “Pride” parades? Again, there is one right here, in New York, annually – and it's huge!

So, next time you feel the urge to express your dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs re: homosexuals,why don't you express it either in their neighbourhoods or at their largest gatherings? I dare you! I doubt that these exercises would help you regain your humanity, but at least they would really make the point you are trying to make, and in the process not only earn you and your followers a much-deserved beating, but would also spare additional grief to some of the best people that our country has.