The Best Motto

Gd, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannon change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

You woke up this morning - Congratulations! You got another chance!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


I love the way computers point out your mistakes! Recently, I was trying to book a flight for my boss to our main office, which is in Columbus. So, at first I tried JFK (which he prefers), then La Guardia. Apparently, at some point I was typing too fast, because the poor, confused Expedia screen warned me that there were no flights between JFK and LGA!

Another one of my pet peeves is the way people mangle language. Apparently, cell phones are now a days called "blackberry". Not only this, but the last time somebody asked me for "blackberry number", he was also, in following with another great tradition, trying to simulate the twiddling of nubs on blackberry, to emphasise his point. Every time I see this, I always remember a great quote: "Do I point at my crotch when I ask for the bathroom?"

My dyslexia, thought slight, is a constant source of exasperation and amusement for me. For example, I love Chinese thick rice noodles, as apposed to thin ones; but for the life of me, I could never remember which ones are "mai fun" and which ones are "chow fun". Every time I think I finally got it, I always end up with thin ones. Ah, food is food anyway.

Another language quirk: for a few weeks now, my niece got into habit of not just saying "no", but saying "nope". I do not know about her parents, but for me, the exasperation is always tempered by the adorable picture. I know, I know, eventually it will pass; but for now, I am enjoying the moment.

An entertaining Manhattan moment: a bike messenger who carries his packages in a huge shopping bag with "Elle McPherson Lingerie" logo.

Guys can never get sick or suffer quietly. The truth of that statement was once again visited on me recently, when one of my co-worker got a kidney stone. Not only was I treated to the whole story of when and how, but, at one point in the saga, he treated me to the fact that, apparently, he did not yet pass the stone, and now he is supposed to go to the john with some kind of sieve to check. Believe me, that was way more when I needed to know, especially considering the fact that, due to quirky design of our office, everyone passes my desk on the way to the bathrooms.

I love the way people always jump on the current fashionable bandwagon. Case in point: Mendy's provides pretty expensive looking napkins, and they are take for yourself kind in the take out session. Recently, a sign went up next to those napkins: "Please be green: one napkin per customer". That's a bit rich from Mendy's, considering that they do not recycle their cans and bottles.

I love the way people are trying to advertise their stuff on e-bay. Sometimes, it borders on the absurd. Recently, somebody was trying to sell a Cinderella-themed watch, claiming it's unisex. I can only imagine any poor boy whose parents or guardians decide that it's OK for him to wear this watch, and the years of therapy he will require as a result!

A terrible confession to my sister: every time I shop for a card, or just find myself in the vicinity of cards, I always eye the ones that congratulate with impending baby, or congratulate with arrived baby.

Speaking of babies: congratulations to my niece! Somewhere between Purim and Pesach she got the first ever dress dry cleaned!

Another Manhattan moment: a young girl (probably tourist) got a potato knish at Mendy's and ended up photographing it with a very expansive-looking Nikon. She took about ten shots from all different angles before consuming it.

The best compliment I have ever got: "For a religious fanatic, you are pretty normal".

1 comment:

Sally Hazel said...

Every paragraph made me chuckle! Thanks!