MY ECONOMIC PLAN

For the past few months the general media, in the usual traditions of the election year during the Republican administration, has been continuously harping about the dreadful state of our economy. The reasons, of course, are crystal clear: despite the many attempts of the current administration to bend over backwards and forwards in order to satisfy the opposition as regarding the domestic matters, they still came out as dreadful proponents of the rich exclusively and the ban of the poor and the poor working middle class. I am going to save my arguments about these matters for another time; suffice it to say that, yellow journalism aside, our economy is experiencing problems that need to be addressed. So, in a nutshell, here is my economic plan:

1. Our immediate severance of our membership in the UN, which includes immediate closing of the money tap. Let UN move anywhere they want: Tripoli, Adis Ababa, Moscow; as long as it is not on American territory, let them settle wherever they want. UN building and all the real estate currently belonging to the so-called diplomats attached to the UN becomes the property of New York city in lieu of millions in unpaid parking tickets by the said diplomats, plus the partial reimbursement for all the man hours of the NYPD. NYC, in turn, should sell all this real estate immediately to any private entity (since the city's bureaucracy can not and should not manage it).

2. Tell the entire red, oops green, environmental lobby to go to the warm basement and remain there. No more yaps and squeaks about excess of CO2, Kyoto and supposed man-made global warming, no more biofuel, no more government dictates about what we should drive, which light bulbs to use, how much water to flush our toilets with, no more nonsensical energy conservation tips, or not repairing levees because that would disturb the local fauna. All the green loonies are more than welcome to use their restrictions on themselves; I do not care if they haul their ugly reusable bags everywhere, or ride bicycles for two hours to work each day, or eat only raw wheat and vegetables that they grew themselves; but absolutely no lobbying the government, either federal, or state, or local, to impose their idiocy on the rest of the country! In the same vein, drill for oil and gas anywhere and everywhere on our territory whenever oil and gas could be found. Alternative energy should be developed by private entities without government's big brother breathing down their necks or supplying their research at taxpayer's expanse.

3. Immediate deportation of all the illegals. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next year; now! In the meantime, no access to any kind of public funds without valid proof of citizenship. Meanwhile, build the bloody fences along both borders, especially the southern one! By the way, Jackie Mason proposed a brilliant solution: put retired Jews along the border and let them watch it; just give them coffee and cheesecake.

4. Enough with affirmative actions and the attached virulent racism, be it education or workforce.

5. Reduce government spending by reducing government workers. In my humble estimation, one bureaucrat could really do the work of at least three; providing he or she actually works during the working hours.

6. No more foreign aid to ungrateful swine; let Brangelina and Co. support all the poor and downtrodden on their dime exclusively, without dipping into the US Treasury.

7. Lower taxes across the board, individual and corporate alike. Eventually, getting rid of the IRS would be the order of the day.

8. Last, but not least: enough with constant government interference in private enterprise. Sub prime mortgage mess, by the way, is a prime example (no pun intended). Let the free market be free!