The Best Motto

Gd, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannon change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

You woke up this morning - Congratulations! You got another chance!

Friday, February 27, 2009


Publisher’s notice: Due to the circumstances beyond my control, this entry is appearing today as opposed to Monday, when it was supposed to appear in the first place.

This past Sunday I had the supreme honour of the august presence of Mini Not Me in my humble abode for most of the day.

The highlights of the visit included:

Royal meals: personally prepared by yours truly macaroni and cheese (not from the box), minced fillet of the finest fish, battered and baked (aka fish sticks), aged Kosher cheese, and the best of seasonal fruit (apple), also prepared to perfection by yours truly (washed, peeled, and cut into the bite-size pieces).

His highness was greatly (and repeatedly) amused by the plentiful, diverse, and colorful array of my fridge magnets.

We watched Elmo, Barney, and Ella Enchanted, washing it down with healthy amounts of "kek" and "dink".

Mini Not Me was also fascinated by my "bankey" with pictures strongly resembling (at least in his eyes) Mommy. In reality it was Ariel the Little Mermaid, but in any case he refused to be covered by it for his nap.

Another interesting object of play was found on my desk in the form of one of the Eucerin samples from my dermatologist. It is a little rectangular box containing body wash, lotion, and cream. So, I explained to him the designations of each strange object, and he had fun for the good part of an hour by taking them out of the box one by one, naming them one by one, and then trying to put them back in the box one by one. Which, by the way, proves again that most of the toys adults buy are for adult entertainment mostly; kids, especially little ones, can amuse themselves with just about anything.

Mommy and Efty were inquired about only at about fifteen minute’s intervals. Abba and his "ca" were mentioned at around every hour. Most of the time, I was able to deflect his highnesses attention by something unrelated to Mommy, Efty, Abba, or his car.

I was treated to lots of delicious hugs.

At the early dinner time, happy reunion of Mini Not Me with Mini Me after a very long absence of about seven hours was punctuated with Indian Chief Style yells, running around, horseplay, and many, many happy, innocent and delicious smiles. At the conclusion of the said reunion the fruits of the shopping expedition of Mommy, Efty, and Abba were displayed and discussed as well, especially Efty's New Dresses and New Accessories.

Basically, it was an event-filled Sunday; which brings my story to Monday.

After the usual subway ride in the car filled with different representatives of the "inner city", and the usual jostling in the coffee shop by the members of the stronger sex and their briefcases, I arrived at my place of gainful employment. In the kitchen, the big boss run into me; by his tone of greeting I figured out that something was amiss. Sure enough, half a minute later he informed me that after I was done in the kitchen, he needed to "have a conversation with me". After being informed that I am available at his leisure, he told that he will call.

I went back to my desk, frantically trying to figure out what the heck I have done now to warrant "a conversation"; the said exercise preventing me from fully enjoying my Bridget Jones style breakfast. After about two hours he finally showed up at my desk, and the glimmer of understanding appeared when I saw what he was holding in his hand. It was a copy of my company Amex statement that all of us lucky enough to have a company Amex got the previous Friday. Still, since I was sure that no charges from Abigail’s stake house, e-bay, Border's books, CafePress, WND store, Regnery Publishing, or Lane Bryant were on that statement, I just plastered a polite expression on my face and mentally steered myself.

The rant was long and boring, but the gist of it was that there were charges from a different department (the fact that technically I assist the whole office, and I am not his personal EA somehow escaped him), that we have to cut costs as much as possible, that the times are tough, and what about all the reimbursable expanses from the other cards? Who is notifying the main office? Who is processing what? Blah, blah, blah, grrrr! (The fact that there is a perfectly logical system in place at the moment was also forgotten). Then he demanded to see my receipts, and then he made rounds with all the other card holders, which was pretty amusing because if yours truly is just a humble laborer, all the other holders are senior associates.

Then I got the e-mail from the NYPL that the last available PIG to US Constitution became unavailable. In a fit of generosity they bought two copies that were constantly in demand; then one copy became unavailable ("missing"), and now another, or "the last available copy". Grrr!

Then the big boss started giving me instructions on opening a separate accounts receivable file, employing a different filing system. When he was informed that that was also in place, he got a bit taken aback; the little demonstration and explanation he gave me in my first week here apparently also evaporated from his memory.

Basically, the entire office was very tense for the whole day. Then I went home (again on "multicultural" train), dropped by the bakery for some fresh bread, came home, put on my "shmate" attire, and dedicated the next three hours to the thankless task of cleaning my kitchen. Please do not ask me at what time I had dinner, because my MD is going to have conniptions when she hears about it.

So, on both days I went to sleep exhausted. But on Sunday, my world was lit with the innocent love of two little kids who think that I am "Papi - The Height of Cool". On Monday, the mundane idiocy sapped my strength. And that is one of the many reasons of why I hate Mondays!


SubWife said...

Goodness, you so need a new job!

Barb Chansky said...

Hear, hear:)

Sally Hazel said...

This post made me smile and grin. Thanks. And re: job-it can always be worse...

Barb Chansky said...

Sal,thanks:) I agree with you: jobs can always get worse, and worse, and worse.... It is just human nature to constantly hope and look for something better:)

Sally Hazel said...

follow your dreams!

Moshe said...

Re-watch Office Space.

SubWife said...

I second that. Rewatch Office Space.

Barb Chansky said...

Kids, I can quote that movie in my dreams:)

SubWife said...

Are those the same dreams that Sally advises you to follow?

Sally Hazel said...

I'm not sure which dreams I'm advising her to follow but I hope I'm not the one that made Barb memorise 1/2 the quotes...

"Looks like you've been missing work lately.'
'I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob."

Moshe said...

Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?