MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 24

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! Happy Fourth Day of Chol Hamoed Succot! The weather continues to rock! Feline companions continue to be themselves - annoying psychotics. As usual, they are both sleeping in my room now - George on my bed, and Sniff in the papasan, for a change.
Socializing with liberals is always an interesting experience; just when you think you heard it all, they go ahead and surprise you.
Surprise, surprise - the attack in Kenya, or the latest antics of our dear usurper in chief did not make it to top ten.
Currently trending at #1 is Jada Pinkett Smith - because she revealed right here, on FB, that she had "many addiction; geez louise, what an utterly surprising revelation that is!
Trending at #8 is Antonio Banderas - because he is going to play pirate in the new Spongebob movie. Well, he nailed Puss in Boots in Shrek, so, I guess he will totally shine as a Spongebob pirate.
Giada "swears" by SPF, drinking more water than coffee, and raw almonds as a healthy snack; she especially likes the ones you can buy in the airports - interesting combo. What really makes me laugh in this story is the fact that we are the same age; plus, I also love raw almonds - but I just enjoy them as a snack, and not a health food.
Kanye was "gushing" about why he stays with Kim K. - according to him, she gave him "family" and "support system"; plus, "she could love" him "without" "asking for money" - aw!! Who said romance is dead? What a tear-jerker that story is!
"Taller people may be slightly smarter, but they're more likely to get bitten by bugs, research shows" - OK, how in blazes do you run a research and arrive at this particular conclusion?
"Where Miley Cyrus's wild streak began" - don't know, don't care.
"Affordable way to charter a jet" - affordable for whom? And, most importantly, why would you need to charter a jet?
"Justin Bieber Shows Fans Underwear At Singapore Concert" - I guess the Vivaldi playing Moscovites did not collect enough money yet.
And, finally, Will and Kate applied for Georgie's first passport - aw, baby passport pictures!
Coffee this morning in my funky glass Cappuccino mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 23

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Happy Third Day of Chol Hamoed Succot! The weather rocks - at least it does for me 
The cats were very vocal again this morning, and finally quieted down in their respective spots on my bed and in the cat house. George is extra annoying with his slightly unbalanced demands for food, and Sniff is emitting his battle cries a bit too much lately.
Mom's radio is on the fritz, so I loaned her mine - and now our mom is listening to Rush on Hello Kitty boombox. Do I rock or what?
According to the latest intelligence reports, there are young musicians on the streets of Moscow that are playing Vivaldi in order to collect money for Justin Bieber's assassination - Canadian friends, I think it's time to protect your national treasure and hide him somewhere where nobody will see or hear him.
Currently trending at #1 is Chris Brown - because he is officially tired of his "bad boy image". Well, hell, maybe if you behaved like a decent adult, you would not get that image?
Trending at #7 is Michael Douglas - because it looks like he "slammed" US prison system after "Emmy win". Dude, seriously, you need anti-psychotic meds more than your current wife, whom you oh so nobly abandoned!
Kim K. has a new "bestie" - Oprah. Oh, here is a match made in heaven! I mean, I know that Kim does not poses a huge amount of grey matter, but why does she keep hanging with such obvious racists?
"The ideal age for women to get married" - when they find a man who at least remotely resembles Darcy or Captain Wentworth.
"The best over the counter drugs" - the ones that work for you!
Will and Kate left Georgie with nanny in order to attend church - why is this news? Because they went to church or because they left the baby with his nanny? Or because they left the house together?
Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Plush mug with the 7 Dwarfs.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 22

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Moadim L'Simcha! Happy Second Day of Chol Hamoed! The weather rocks! 
Happy 25th Anniversary to my family! 25 years in this wonderful country!
Feline companions were extra frisky over the Holidays - George kept demanding his due, and Sniff kept running all over the place and emitting battle cries. Now they are both quietly sleeping - Sniff in the cat house, and George on my bed.
Happy Belated Birthday to Hermione Granger Weasley!
My e-mail keeps bombarding me with offers for the singles over 50 - ah, go to hell and stay there!
FB, on the other hand, keeps suggesting that I join a group called "Frum Divorce" - Zuck, I was never married, you crazy bastard!
Currently trending at #1 is Mila Kunis - because she is "tiring of divorce drama"; well, how about not messing up with a married guy next time - even if, according to their former co-star Laura Prepon, he was her first kiss? And if they were so hung up on each other, why did Ashton marry someone else? Sowing wild oats?
Fergie and Josh Duhamel are still in the top ten after they shared the pictures of their baby a few days ago - I guess the baby was extra cute.
According to some journalists, during her latest performance Miley proved once again that she got a lot of talent - for some reason, she still had to do it half naked.
Rihanna is trending at #5 because she posed with "protected primates" in Thailand, after which local police arrested people for allegedly "peddling protected primates" - nice going, Rihanna!
It looks like a lot of fans didn't want R-Patz as Edward because of his bushy eyebrows - like, seriously?!! That's so easily corrected!
"Carbs that are good for you" - oh, for pete's sake, give me a break, will you?!! Food is good for you, period! Just eat a variety of it and don't overeat.
"4 Reasons Chocolate is Good For Your Health" - only 4?!! Hang those researchers if they don't come up with at least 10!
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 17

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is fantastic! George is getting impossible in his old age: apparently, now you have to mix his food with a bit of water and mush it up for him; plus, his plate has to be just so and not so. Also, he gave us a bit of a scare yesterday as we could not locate him for a few hours - turns out he managed to hide himself really well in my room. Sniff is extra frisky (due probably to the good weather); he runs around like crazy all the time and issues his battle cry more than normal.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual.
Thanks to my romance reading, I am learning more about diamonds - as had no idea before what Asscher cut diamond is.
Today is a very special day for me: the fourth Hebrew anniversary of being hit by a bus and getting up with only light bruises. Thank you, Father!!
As we all know, yesterday there was a deadly shooting in DC.
Today is Constitution Day.
Does either show in top ten? If you answered no, you get a gold star.
Trending at #1 is someone called Kim Zolciak - no idea who that one is. The reason she is so popular right now is because she showed off her "baby bump in tiny bikini". Congratulations! Now that everyone have seen it, the world can spin on its axis again.
Trending at #5 is Gold-plated Lamborghini - no comment.
Trending at #7 is Jaden Smith, because he "Finds Wisdom In Everybody Dropping Out Of School" - I am sure that's the message black youth of today is desperate for.
Speaking of which, Mark Wahlberg turned out to be another celebrity who never finished high school - sort of explains the general high IQ of the modern day Hollywood and their political "activism".
In the news of fashion: Timberlands are making a comeback due to Rihanna, Kanye, and Khloe K. - at least this accomplishment is harmless.
Brad Pitt finally got a decent haircut and a shave - about time! Congratulations!
"The secrets behind Shakira's famous hips" - spare me!
Take out your hankies, people - Miley and Liam are no longer engaged, sob, sob!
Another celeb couple shared their baby's pictures with the world - this time it's Fergie and Josh Duhamel. Shame on me - I totally forgot that they were hitched to each other.
"Justin Bieber unlikely to star in Batman vs. Superman" - rejoice, oh geeks!
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 16

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is nice, even if a bit rainy. George is getting to be extra whiny; right now he finally quieted down on Baby Bro's bed. Sniff was extra frisky, ran all other the place, collided with my Parisian dancer Barbie, sat in the bathtub for a bit, picked up a few fights with his roommate, and is finally winding down on my bed.
As of today I am the only person I know who is immune to the Candy Crash Saga addiction.
Barbarians arriving in our fair city really need a crash course on how to behave on the subway; the same goes for the local grown barbarians.
Breaking news of the hour: at least 12 people have been gunned down in Washington, DC - expect the anti-gun lobby slither out into the sun in 5, 4, 3...
Of course, that's not what's trending at #1, oh no. The person trending at @1 is Bill Cosby - because he was talking about "black culture"; the biggest oxymoron in the American history, right before "equal opportunity employer".
Trending at #2 are Nick and Vanessa Lachey, who are celebrating their son's first birthday - aw, happy birthday, little guy!
Trending at #4 is January Jones, who is NOT dating Miley's fiance - phew, a load off our shoulders!
Iran wants to send a Persian cat into space - why don't they just space their fanatical mullahs and be done with it?
Some network or other got an exclusive with Lamar Odom's mistress - a journalistic scoop of the century, that one is.
Bill Gates is once again the richest man in the world at 72 billion USD - take that, Mexico!
Bieber decided to give coronaries to some die hard Batman fans - he posted a picture on Instagram alluding that he might be getting a part of Robin in the forthcoming Batman vs. Superman movie - really cruel joke played on the geeks, man, really cruel!
Prince Phillip finally got to meet Georgie - aw, how sweet!
Also, Kate's new biography claims that she was a complete tomboy - well, she grew up.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 15

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Shana Tova! The weather rocks! I hope your Yom Kippur was as uplifting as mine. Here is to hoping for a fantastic, happy, healthy, sweet, blessed, prosperous, and peaceful year! In honor of the last High Holidays before Rabbi Cohen's retirement, our congregation had a whole hour and a half break before Mussaf and Mincha!! 
Sniff slept with me for the past two nights, which is pretty unusual for him; but then he would transfer into the cat house towards the morning and greet me with his usual "I am the master, puny human" look. George got a whole bunch of wet food and is getting even whinier in his old age. Right now he is taking a quiet bath on my bed.
One of my idiot barbarian neighbours is cooking bones - welcome to the hood.
Happy Anniversary to my family! Today makes 25 years on the Hebrew calendar of our arrival to this blessed country in the smoking compartment of the Pan Am flight from Rome. Thank you, Father, for this blessing!
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is currently trending at #1 because she started at Fox and claims that it "feels like home" - well, duh!
Emma Watson's hairdo is in the news again - this time it's a "fresh take on a classic bob" and one of the "must-have looks for fall"; thanks, but I am staying with my present hairdo.
"Aniston dares in strapless dress" - wow, what a heart-stopping headline! But why is this news? It's not like it's the first time she put on a strapless dress...just saying.
Bieber was "spotted with a brunette" who is supposed to be a singer who is supposed to have been his girlfriend before Selena - I wonder by what moniker he went before Jelena.
"Krispy Kreme changes its doughnut strategy" - how about to just coming to New York, for starters?
And, finally, there was a speculation about Kate's hair - are they naturally curly or not; the conclusion was that, yes, they are. People must have really boring lives.
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 12

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is blah, but, hopefully, this will be the last day of it.
Sniff is back in the cat house; this morning I woke up to him looking down at me like a Egyptian deity once more. George got a new batch of food (which actually smells like turkey) and keeps savoring it. He also got 3 new Amazon boxes to enjoy.
There was a street vendor on 47th Street selling arba minim - man, I love this country!
A few days ago I asked my roommate what the heck Tetris was, because I had no blinking idea. He demonstrated it to me, after which he ended up playing Tetris for about half a hour - man, am a a bad influence.
Currently trending at #1 is Powerball - because, hey, the last drawing was on 9/11, and that was very, very important.
Trending at #2 is January Jones - it looks like Miley's current fiance was January's boy friend at one point, and they were caught sexting. Oh, what a tangled web!
Trending at #4 is Abigail Breslin - because her current co-stars did not recognize her. Yea, I wouldn't have recognized her either, judging by the latest pictures.
"Wine Dangers for Women" - drinking an extra glass and forgetting what kind of jerks and mama's boys guys are?
The reason Dallas residents are the happiest in America might be because "their spiritual beliefs are a positive guiding force to them" - duh!!!
Charlie Sheen never graduated high school - which shows once again that working hard on your education does not pay.
Patrick Stewart tied the know this weekend, with Ian McKellan officiating - man, oh, man, this one I really wanted to see!
"Vatican's #2" was "hinting" that celibacy is "open for discussion" - how, um, enterprising of them.
Will is quitting his military career - well, good luck with fatherhood, your highness!
And, finally, his wife "stunned" at her first red carpet appearance after giving birth - well, I don't think people expected anything less of her.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 10

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is a bit iffy, but still not bad. George wanted to complain in the morning, but then ate and drank what he had, and is now sleeping on my bed. Sniff was hiding under Baby Bro's bike, and is now sleeping on his pillow and impersonating a sausage.
Street cleaning machines took on the mantel from the crazy upstairs this morning.
Ina was doing two shows in a row on grilling - come on, lady, it's fall already!
Currently trending at #1 is Sharon Osbourne, because she "revealed an old fling with Jay Leno" - juicy and earth-shattering.
Trending at #2 is Miley Cyrus, because "'Wrecking Ball' breaks most-viewed video record" - I don't even want to know what it is and who wrecked it.
Taylor Swift is denying the rumors about the video with J Lo - I really don't care one way or the other.
Yet another celebrity baby entered the world: Mario Lopez and his wife had a baby boy. Mazal Tov to them and good luck to the poor kid!
Another Victoria's Secret model came out to claim that she is "no size 0" and has the body "of a real woman" - yea, right! Every single VS model has a body of a real woman, my aching coccyx!
70% of all online porn access happens between 9 am and 5 pm - wow! Go, guys! I also wonder who was collecting this interesting data.
And, finally, Kate dropped by McDonald's on her way to the Kensington Palace, " turning every diner's experience into a Happy Meal" - nice.
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 9

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Shana Tova! I hope all of you had great Holiday and wish all of you a great, happy, healthy, sweet, prosperous, and blessed New Year! The weather is almost rocking for this time of the year - and I don't remember the last time I was able to deal without A/C on Rosh Hashana.
For the inquiring minds - there are sixty five Barbies in my collection.
Both George and Sniffles are enjoying the fresh air that comes from the open kitchen window; they also enjoy observing the local fauna. However, George gets scared when he sees someone on the outside (Baby Bro claims that he sees ghosts); Sniff, however, recognizes us through the window and tries to snuggle through the mesh.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff.
Currently trending at #2 is Taylor Swift, because she is producing a new single with J Lo - oh, golly! Really don't want to see this one.
Reese Witherspoon supposedly "stunned" at the premiere of her new movie - OK, the dress was cute and she usually looks adorable, but I would not call it "stunning".
Some kind of experts claim that Whole Foods, Walmart, Costco, and Target make mayo that's as good as Hellman's, or that we would be "hard pressed to taste the difference" - scurrilous lies! Hellman's can't be beat!
"What to expect from Apple's iPhone event" - a lot of crazy Apple junkies, what else?
Rodman is making his third trip to North Korea - can he stay there already?
Sandra Bullock claims that she feels she does not deserve her Oscar for the Blind Side and she will be trying to prove herself for the rest of her life - chill, Sandra! Just look at James Cameron - he definitely did not deserve his, yet it did not prevent him from preening like a peacock and yelling that he is the king of the world.
"Justin Bieber debuts new 'mustache'" - spare me!
Prince Andrew accepted an apology from police after he was mistaken for an intruder in the Buckingham Palace - should have just shouted allah akbar, and the police would have stood down right away.
And, finally, according to Vanity Fair, Kate, backed by Will, defied the royal orders regarding Georgie, and made her own decisions - good for her! Considering how well her father in law turned out to be, I totally don't blame her.
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh and Friends mugs.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 2

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather remains blah-y - hopefully, not for long. Sniff was extra frisky yesterday and decided to run across my dresser - luckily for him, he did not break anything. George continues with his whining. Now they are both snoozing in their respective fave beds.
The constant barrage of voting ads has only one message for me "Man, this city is in deep doo doo!"
Currently trending at #1 is Khloe Kardashian who tweeted that she is not made of steel after her dear hubby was arrested for DUI - well, being constantly assaulted by the news of her dear family also requires the nerves of steel. Just dump him already and move on!
Trending at #3 is Jamie-Lynn Sigler, who joins the parade of newly minted celeb parents and shared the picture of her newborn boy - well, at least baby news are cute and sweet.
"Cher's romances through the years" - spare me, please!
Lava Lamp celebrates its 50th birthday - happy birthday, lamp!
Sweet potatoes are higher in potassium than bananas - I don't care, I am still not eating them.
"Speculation is rampant that habitually shirtless Justin Bieber is transitioning from pretty-boy pop star to hip-hop" - well, if that is true, he is going to hang out with some really great people and add more class to their already impeccable behavior.
Kate's sister Pippa kept floating in the news last night because there are rumors of her being engaged - and not to Prince Harry, like a lot of people speculated just last year.
And, finally, Will and Kate choose the first godparent for Georgie - one of Will's friends, who also happens to be a night club owner. Interesting choice, that.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is still August-y, but, hopefully, not for long. Felines are sleeping in their usual spots: George on my bed, and Sniff on Baby Bro's - in direct opposition to the official ownership. 
Happy First of September! By my calculations, the Hogwarts Express is about to reach its destination - good luck in your new school year, young witches and wizards!
FB is now suggesting I follow Debbie Wasserman Schultz - Zuckerberg, stop pushing your political agenda already!
In the news today:
Kate Bosworth got married - Mazal Tov!
Reese Witherspoon inspired a whole article on her handbag collection - bombshell news indeed.
A woman who was recently traveling on Air India claimed that her entertainment unit insulted her by flashing the message "Lie low ... Sit down you idiot!" - I think someone just needs to acquire a sense of humor.
A new study claims that wolfs howl when they get separated from the pack because they miss their special companion - aw! I guess wolfs make better mates than humans do.
Egyptian authorities detained a migratory bird under suspicion of spying; the veterinary experts that were called in explained that the electronic device attached to the bird was neither a bomb or a spying device, but rather a tracker attached by scientists. At present the bird still remains in jail pending the permission from the prosecutors - I guess there is no cure for paranoid stupidity.
And, finally, Kate made her first public appearance after giving birth - no snide comments so far from either Guardian or local feminists.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.