MORNING UPDATE - October 7, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is great for an early October day in our fair city.
Sniff can't decide which bed he prefers; George can't decide about which food he should complain more - chicken or turkey.
New York's finest visited our building earlier today - more barbarians, more visits.
Yesterday got an interesting customer who obviously mistook our place for a welfare office - because he assumed that if he would not scream and generally would not behave like an obnoxious boor, he would be denied service.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent.
Currently trending at #1 are Khloe and Lamar - for completely mysterious reasons.
At #2 is Jennifer Aniston - also with just a bunch of her pictures.
And at #5 we got "Kendall Jenner: A New Victoria's Secret Angel?" A laudable achievement, especially for her tender years.
Hugh Grant almost didn't get his part in Four Weddings and a Funeral because he was "too handsome". Seriously?! Cute, yes; handsome - spare me!
"Simone shocks Oprah!" - by claiming that she is not African-American, but just American. Sharpton's and Jackson's heads exploding in 5, 4, 3...
"Company names you may be pronouncing wrong" - disaster of unimaginable magnitude!
"(Megan) Fox's leather corset dress" - earth-shattering piece of news right there!
"How to avoid plane germs" - by driving your own car.
No news on Beyonce or Bieber.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug (a newer version).

MORNING UPDATE - September 8, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather decided to go into the Indian Summer mode, and, this being New York, the results are not the best.
Sniff continues to nominate himself as a mashgiah for every cleaning, which necessitates isolating him for his own good. George can't figure out if he likes minced turkey or not.
Still did not restock my booze - an embarrassment to my un-missed Russian heritage. 
Crazy upstairs is up to the usual.
Currently trending at #3 is Kourtney Kardashian - and again for reasons entirely unknown.
Jennifer Aniston is at #6 - because "she loves Kim Kardashian". Then why is Kourtney trending? What am I missing - aside from the obvious, of course.
Portia De Rossi is at #9 - because she "and Ellen are staying together". Whew! The load off our collective psyche!
"Cost of renouncing U.S. citizenship about to soar" - why?!! Let those bastards go and not come back!! Let them also take all the America-hating swine still polluting our country with them! This is the only cause, aside from Military, for which I would gladly be taxed!
"Mystery virus strikes kids" - nicely done! Let's allow more illegals over our borders and see what else they might infect us with.
"Insider tip for getting into a buzzy restaurant" - oh, for heaven's sake! Just go into the less "buzzy" one!
"Shoes that look good on every woman" - OK, that one I never heard before.
Among the 10 most visited cities in Europe, Istanbul is at #7 - why?!!
"Kale salad with peaches" - shudders!
"What you should - and should't - add to coffee" - really? There are actually the guidelines along those lines?
A pair of deer crossed the Golden Gate Bridge - I wonder if they wanted to march across San Fran, demanding Pelosi's recall as the complete embarrassment for the city.
"Selena Gomez departs Toronto without Justin Bieber" - no comment.
And, finally, after a whole bunch of speculation and discussion of the minute details, it's official - Kate is pregnant again, and Georgie is due to become a big brother.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - April 14, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Happy Erev Pesach! The weather is beautiful - kein ain hara, pooh, pooh, pooh!
Poor felines have no idea of what the heck is going on in their domain - things constantly moving around! Spaces on counters opening! Spaces on top of the fridge closing! Boxes on which you can,t sit as more boxes pile up! So, in desperation, at first they escaped to Baby Bro's bed, then decided to hunt the sparrows again, and then just ate all the food offered. Sniff, of course, had to be a constant mashgiash and make sure that everything is properly prepared for the alien invasion.
All three effin TVs were turned on CNN - at least not loud enough not to be drowned by the noise of the washers.
Good luck to my co-workers today - as we run out of kiddie Hagaddas again (and the reinforcement may not arrive in time).
Currently trending at #1 is Jennifer Aniston - because she did something silly at the MTV awards.
Trending at #2 is Mila Kunis - who "showed off her baby bump" while accepting an award. I honestly don't know which one of these is more breaking and newsworthy and deserving of the top spot.
Jay Z is trending at #9 because he and Beyonce surprised their fans at some gathering or other together with Solange - who got to #8 because of it. Basically, all three of them were "rocking it" - whatever that means.
"Key to moist Passover brisket: dried onion soup" - cheap skates and inept cooks to boot! Key to moist brisket is lots of real onions and red wine!
"IRS audits lowest in years" - unless you belong to a Tea Party group.
And, finally, Kate played a round of cricket with Will - both did it in suits, and she was wearing heels to boot!
Coffee this morning in a disposable cup from local DD.

MORNING UPDATES - December 30

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is declining steadily - but nothing compares to the ship that got stuck on ice while studying the effects of the global warming.
Both cats are sleeping on the guest's suitcase, although Sniff sometimes alternates with his favorite pipe.
Last night I added another finished book to my GoodReads list, so now I am up to a whopping eight books I have read in 2013.
Currently trending at #1 is someone called Kandi Burruss - because she posted a "sexy pic" of herself. Again, why the heck is this number 1? Everyone and their dogs post half naked, excuse me, sexy pictures of themselves.
Trending at #2 is Kate Gosselin - because she was, once again, "blasted by her ex". Which one is it, like number 189, that Jon Gosselin is "blasting" his ex in the media?
Jennifer Aniston is once again going to spend a New Year's in a bikini with the current love of her life - enjoy yourself, Jen.
"Bieber concert film bombs" - one speculation is that parents kept "their kids away" from it. Late awakening?
You can own the "World's largest home TV" for a mere 150,00 USDs - the low quality and stupidity of TV programming will remain the same, but you would be able to enjoy it on the huge high resolution screen.
And, finally, according to yahoo, the 3 most searched stories of 2013 were: Kate and Will's baby, Kim and Kanye's baby, and, drum roll please, Myley Cyrus's infamous VMA performance topped everything else. (Bieber got into the top 40 at least 6 times). What sad times we do live in.
Coffee this morning will be in my Gevalia travel mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 7

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's rainy, yuk-y, and blah-y - well, it's November. According to Baby Bro, Jews have only themselves to blame for this weather, as have been praying for rain three times a day for the past month and a half.
Sniff is extremely amusing to observe during his food consumption. George got yet another nice box - this time from Brawny paper towels.
Yesterday dude came all bunched up and prepared for an altercation as he asked for the new Rush Limbaugh book - little did he know 
Crazy upstairs got another competition from somewhere else upstairs in the form of incessant banging.
Breaking News! Both Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lawrence cut their hair! Stop the presses, ladies and gents!
"Kate Upton knocks off Kate Middleton look" - as it had nothing to do with "jiggling" breasts, Upton looked simply ridiculous. Sports Illustrated did not comment one way or another.
FDA, eager to prove that they are pretty essential, came back in full steam and banned the trans fats - thanks, guys and gals! What would we do without your wise guidance as to what we are supposed to put or not put inside us?!
"Supperrich Klum drives modest car" - she is not a guy, for pete's sake!
"Marvel comics introduces Muslim superhero" - suicide belt not included.
Some enterprising soul bought Napoleon's will for half a million bucks - interesting investment of money.
Our esteemed Vice President congratulated the wrong person on being a mayor-elect of Boston - since when is this news? If, on the other hand, he would have called the right person - that would be front-page material.
"Bieber allegedly filmed sleeping by girl in Brazil" - what is so film-worthy in any adult sleeping, especially Bieber?!!
And, finally, speaking of hair, there was a whole article dedicated to Tom Brady's "hair evolution" - oh, give me a break! Now we are interested in the guy's hair?!!
Coffee this morning in my funky glass Cappuccino mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 15

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Shana Tova! The weather rocks! I hope your Yom Kippur was as uplifting as mine. Here is to hoping for a fantastic, happy, healthy, sweet, blessed, prosperous, and peaceful year! In honor of the last High Holidays before Rabbi Cohen's retirement, our congregation had a whole hour and a half break before Mussaf and Mincha!! 
Sniff slept with me for the past two nights, which is pretty unusual for him; but then he would transfer into the cat house towards the morning and greet me with his usual "I am the master, puny human" look. George got a whole bunch of wet food and is getting even whinier in his old age. Right now he is taking a quiet bath on my bed.
One of my idiot barbarian neighbours is cooking bones - welcome to the hood.
Happy Anniversary to my family! Today makes 25 years on the Hebrew calendar of our arrival to this blessed country in the smoking compartment of the Pan Am flight from Rome. Thank you, Father, for this blessing!
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is currently trending at #1 because she started at Fox and claims that it "feels like home" - well, duh!
Emma Watson's hairdo is in the news again - this time it's a "fresh take on a classic bob" and one of the "must-have looks for fall"; thanks, but I am staying with my present hairdo.
"Aniston dares in strapless dress" - wow, what a heart-stopping headline! But why is this news? It's not like it's the first time she put on a strapless dress...just saying.
Bieber was "spotted with a brunette" who is supposed to be a singer who is supposed to have been his girlfriend before Selena - I wonder by what moniker he went before Jelena.
"Krispy Kreme changes its doughnut strategy" - how about to just coming to New York, for starters?
And, finally, there was a speculation about Kate's hair - are they naturally curly or not; the conclusion was that, yes, they are. People must have really boring lives.
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 21

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is definitely NY August - thank Gd for the windows facing North (and North West)!
George is in full Old Cantankerous Coot mode - yesterday he was complaining for about half a day about the freshness of his food, and this morning he woke us up with unusually loud demands for attention - and food! Finally, Jewish stubbornness prevailed, and he ate what was served him. Sniff did his crazy running and tail fluffing routine at least twice today.
Giada was cooking with lemons from her garden and got a pastel portrait of lemons from her friend - cute. Ina is making something called "deconstructed strawberry short cake" - also cute.
Currently trending at #1: Rapper DMX - because he was "arrested again by South Carolina police". Very, um, original, and definitely deserving the top spot in the news.
Trending at #2: JWoww - because he and Snooki got "Filming Permission in Jersey" - New Jersey, thanks again for providing us with high class entertainment.
"Aniston's go-to bikini" - how in the world can we go another day without finding that important tidbit out?! Simply boggles the mind!
"15 Tycoons Who Won't Leave Their Fortunes To Their Kids" - which shows once again that money does not buy you happiness, because that particular line is beyond sad - it's pathetic.
Among the "top 10 beers worldwide", #5 is produced in Namibian, and #9 - in Mozambique. Africans are starving, but still manage to make wow beers?!! Wow....simply wow!
"Why Benedict resigned as a pope" - I really, really don't care.
A dude proposed in a library using children's book - love it!!! In my book (pun not intended) that soooo beats that silly fancy restaurant gig!
Kate is being praised for using maternity dress to pose for her pictures with Will, Georgie and doggie - because it reminds people of the simple fact: women still need maternity after giving birth as they don't miraculously get their figures back right away. Waiting with baited breath for that dude from the Guardian to find something about old white privilege in there as well. Will, meanwhile, was complimented on his "candor about fatherhood" - I think this time an American publication should attack him for it, just to keep things interesting.
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 15

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather rocks once again! It looks like a miracle will happen this year, and the Con Ed bill for August will be lower than the one for July. Cats, of course, are enjoying the weather to the fullest, especially Sniff - he is running around like crazy with his tail fluffed and altogether being a cute young kitty. George finally finished his pill course last night - by the last pill he got the whole process down pat. Both of them take periodic advantage of the open window in the kitchen. By the way, if you need a great person to take care of a slightly ailing cat, Baby Bro is your man!
Trending at #10: Cat DNA readings - I was curious as to what exactly can the DNA of my furry friends offer society, but this story is about a guy in Britain convicted of manslaughter because the DNA from the cat hair found on victim matched his pet. Scary and fascinating at the same time.
Jennifer Aniston "swapped" her usual black for a "flirty floral" - Jen, I could have sworn you were not hanging out in Brooklyn; why is black your signature color?
"Oprah Winfrey opens up about her man" - anything to gloss up the fact of falsely accusing a store clerk of racism. Good job, Oprah!
"Mama June picks her wedding dress" - "after trying on a few duds, (including a look-alike Kate Middleton gown), the reality star finds a winner." Spare me!
JC Penny is under attack for their back to school ad which, supposedly, promotes bullying of people who do not wear the "right" kind of clothes - it does not promote anything, just states the bleeding obvious - but then, I assume, truth usually hurts.
Lisa Kudrow just started trending at #1, but I can't see why - maybe because she gave some kind of an interview?
"Best places for rich and single" - what is this, gold-diggers of both sexes unite and conquer?
According to a new book by a political science professor, people who read all of HP 7 books "tend to be "more open to diversity; politically tolerant; less authoritarian; less likely to support the use of deadly force or torture; more politically active; and are more likely to have a negative view of the Bush administration." - really? Harry Potter is a tool that helps produce politically correct morons with Bush derangement syndrome? It think they arrived there despite the boy wizard.
Taylor Swift "hates" Justin Bieber, "feuding" with Selena Gomez - um, why the heck can't they just sing?!!!
And, finally, Kate, who is now staying with the baby by her mother, is considering a prolonged visit of about 6 months - wise move, lady!
Coffee this morning in my smiley faces mug.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 4

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is actually rocking for NY August. George was extra clingy over Shabat and decided once again that I am a big, strangely looking cat who needs grooming (ie being slightly chewed on the wrist). And this morning he decided that he looks way better on my desk than my laptop. Sniff is up to his usual tricks and is currently snoozing on my Mickey suitcase.
Recently sampled something called French sourdough bread from Pom which tastes exactly like Jewish rye from the local bakery.
Also recently I remembered what is the biggest attack weapon in the arsenal of our people - it is none other than Jewish Yenta! No line of defense will withstand her attack for long! I highly recommend to our government to make a full use of that valuable resource!
Elle Macpherson tied the knot again - mazal tov! It also means the dashed hopes of a nice Jewish guy whose dream it was to have Elle for his very own.
Jennifer Aniston is making headlines because she posed for pictures without makeup - and she looks like a well-preserved woman in her 40s. Congratulations, another mystery solved!
Susan Sarandon made fashion news when she showed up in some kind of youngish-looking floral number. I honestly don't care what she wears (or doesn't) as long as she refrains from her usual treasonous activities. And if she leaves the country and never comes back, she can wear that "youthful" fashion on the plain.
Our dear Usurper-In-Chief turned 52 over the weekend (at least according to the birth certificate he is currently using). He relaxed at Camp David from his hard work on behalf of our enemies.
In other news, he (Hussein) currently bemoaned our "change in culture" and Kardashians - I would take Kardashians over him any day.
Justin Bieber was busy lately: he "unveiled" his latest tat, was seen "in the arms of another woman" (I guess not Selena), and shoved fan's Iphone down his pants during concert - where are the men in white coats when you need them?
And, finally, Will took time off from his son to play a round of polo - all men are the same. He also claimed that he was in baby mode, and his head was not really on the game - my previous statement holds.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug (the new design).

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 28

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is not so bad for NY July, which fact feline companions loved once again, especially Sniff. He did his usual crazy running routine for a good portion of the morning, and is now resting on my bed. George also did his usual - asked loudly for fresh food, fresh water, and more petting, after which he retired to the top of the book shelf. They are also officially on the regular food; for a while it was diet variety, then a combo of diet and regular, and now, considering how much exercise they are getting, they are getting only regular.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff.
We got a new intercom panel! It has 3 buttons: "talk", "listen", and "door", as opposed to the old one, which had only 2 - "talk" and "door", so, yes, wast improvement - and being new and shiny does not hurt either.
Also, please don't ask why one of the burners is currently sitting on the top shelf of the fridge.
Jeff Mauro was doing "healthy" sandwiches - 2 vegetarian and one with grilled chicken! I guess, being from Chicago, he has to listen (or at least make believe to listen) to Michelle's edicts.
Jennifer Aniston is currently trending at #3 because she claimed that she already feels married to her Justin -ah, lady, don't rush! They get very skittish when you move the time table on them!
Trending at #7 - Selena Gomez! Why? Because Justin Bieber attended her 21st birthday party! Come to think of it, what the heck was I doing on my 21st birthday? Why can't I find anything in the old news?
Amanda Bynes is also very much in the news because she is on "mental health watch" since Monday. What took so long?
In the news of fashion: Selena again, this time together with Kourtney Kardashian. Both of them wore knee high gladiator sandals with very short shorts - and now experts in the field are deciding who looked better. This is definitely newsworthy, people, like, definitely!
"Snooki's trainer shares weight loss secrets" - how about education and mind-improving secrets?
"Most Millionaires don't think they are rich" - duh! Just remember what you could by for a 20 about 20 years ago and now - and you totally get them.
And, finally, it looks like Prince George will get costume made cuff links for his christening from Prince Charles's goddaughter - what the heck he needs them for is a different story.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 3

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is normal for July in New York, darn it! Feline companions, of course, are asleep as they don't like this weather at all - George is on my bed, and Sniff on top of Baby Bro's knapsack. 
Melissa is suggesting that making one night a week a pasta night would save you a ton of money - duh! That's what I have been doing for a long, long time! Anne is making bagna cauda, which immediately made me remember Babylon 5. Also, a dudette on Create network was telling that as she was living in a small town, there were no "artisanal" cheeses available, so she got her own goats and got cracking on her own cheese - what got me rolling was the fact that she was milking her goats wearing bracelets! 
Baby Bro also got me cackling with laughter this morning when he pointed out a great phrase in NYU alumni magazine "non-grad alum" - a great way to describe a college drop-out!
It looks like Chanel fashion show is extra special: Jennifer Lawrence wore crazy-looking pants to it, while Rihanna showed up in what looked like huge see-through shirt which she only buttoned with 3 buttons - I personally prefer the crazy-looking trousers.
Ashlee Simpsons is currently trending at #1 because she might be dating Diana Ross's son - why is this at #1? 
Meanwhile, Elvis' granddaughter is trending at #4, as it was confirmed that she was the read-headed woman dating R-Patz - I see Hollywood is covered with fresh hearts and flowers!
On a separate note, Greta Van Susteren is currently at #5 because she confirmed that she is staying at Fox and not going back to CNN - hum, when it's a choice between staying with much more popular network and being made fun of on SNL, or going to much less popular network, and not being attacked by lefties lackeys masquerading as comedians, which would you choose?
Tom Brady and Giselle had a fantastic family outing at Disney's California Adventure (with cute pictures attached, of course) - I hope their impact on the environment was minimal.
Elle Macpherson recreated her Playboy cover on the latest issue on Australian Harper's Bazaar - feminists are eerie silent.
Jennifer Aniston is bemoaning the one time she was forced to it at McDonald's while she was traveling with Justin and there were no other options along the road - aw, poor baby! My heart is heavy for your plight!
Dr. Shepherd from "Grey's Anatomy" is top pick from TV personalities for a potential husband - whom the heck were they asking?
"Easy way to slice a melon" - oh, for pete's sake! Take a knife and a cutting board and slice!
Finnish social security service sent Kate their usual gift for expectant mothers (the gift includes condoms) - classy.
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.

MORNING REPORT - JULY 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Happy first day of July! It's raining outside, but at least not so stifling inside - man, do I love the summer in New York!
Dad is continuing his attempts to put the harness on Sniff and take him for a walk. Incidentally, yesterday one of our heighbours was duly impress with his (Sniff's) size. George is sleeping in his amazon box.
Marc Summers was showing the production of turkish toffee somewhere in PA - and you could clearly see OU-D on the boxes and wrappers - I love this country! Ina was making Texas chili with her friend and getting a kick out of the fact that 2 Jewish girls were cooking chili.
Justin Theroux is currently trending at #1 - and not because he hates LA, while his fiancee, Jennifer Aniston, hates NY. No, the reason he is trending at #1 is because, apparently, he goes commando while jogging in his beloved New York - really need to know where he likes to do that in order to avoid seeing it - because the mental image alone is spittoon worthy.
Congratulations to Jessica Simpson on the birth of a son on Sunday - and congratulations to the baby boy who is stuck with her as a mother and the name Ace Knute Johnson!
The study of Chilean mummies revealed that in pre-colonial times people of all incomes had "nicotine habit" and also enjoyed hallucinogens - nothing is new under the sun.
Tomatoes are a "superfood" that can improve your skin, protect you from cancer, and even "promote healthy sleep" - so, next time you can't fall asleep, just munch on tomato instead of drinking alcoholic beverages; I can so see it becoming a trend (not).
Justin Bieber was seen in Vegas with "ANOTHER New Mystery Girl" - I wonder what name this couple is going to get.
Coffee this morning in my clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 14

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! Happy Flag Day and Happy Birthday to US Armed Forces!
People complain about the weather, but to me - no triple H, no torrential rain, no need for a/c - me very happy! The crazy upstairs is doing her usual deeds. My roommate decided to enjoy a decadent lifestyle and is now blasting music in the shower.
Sniff was not happy about the closed bathroom door - or the music, for that matter; but then Sniff rarely looks happy. Baby Bro had an idea to create inspirational posters with that animal with a caption "Mr. Sniffles does not approve!" George, on the other hand, came in to snuggle last night and decided to groom me again in the cat style - the fact that I am not a cat did not penetrate his feline brain.
Alton Browne was talking about soft pretzels - and I immediately pictured him with a nice home-made pretzel and a big shot gun. Ina is making French onion soup and chocolate mousse with whipped cream - yum!
Sandra Bullock is trending at #2 right now because she showed up at the premier of her new movie in a backless dress that showed off her bra - as if she is the only one who flashes her unmentionables!
More from the news of fashion: "J Lo rocks curve-hugging dress" - no danger of her ever rocking her brains.
And yet more from the news of fashion: Miley Cyrus stepped out in "hybrid" denim and sweatpants - at least this is not permanent, like a tat.
"Who Is Kate Upton Kissing?" - as long as it's not me, I really don't care.
Mariah Carey is a huge fan of "The Game of Thrones" - my friends who are the fans (you know who you are) - welcome a new member to your club!
Jennifer Aniston recently remodeled her house and the back yard, but kept the chicken coop that was there when she purchased the house - I wonder if she feeds those chickens herself. Now that would be a photo op!
"Selena Gomez Is Done with Justin Bieber After Miley Cyrus Flirt Fest" - well, duh! I guess Jelena is well and truly dead.
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 6

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is still rocking! George is back in his Amazon box; Sniff came in to snuggle this morning. People usually stare at my feet because I am wearing flippies in 40 degree weather, but now they are staring at the weird design, which is the result of Sniff's nibbling - thanks, kitty! Also, Baby Bro and I had a slight disagreement regarding George's full name: according to me, he is George Hamilton Borukhov; according to Baby Bro, he is either George Borukhov (as per vet's records), or he is George Ffuffikin Hamilton - I guess the decision of the judges is final, as he (George) is officially my roommate's kitty.
Emma Watson "debuts a new hair style at the movie premier" - translation: her hair is now shoulder-length.
Trending at #3: Drunk governor - Massachusetts governor admits to getting drunk after the marathon bombings. Brilliant signs of a true leader - not only being a wuss, but proudly admitting it!
Jennifer Aniston "recycled" a dress - number one - isn't recycling good? Number two - give her a break; whatever she is guilty of, I am sure that being married to Brad Pitt goes a long way towards redemption.
A woman in Duluth got horrible back pain, which resulted in a baby on the next day - she claims she had no idea she was pregnant whatsoever; plus, her hubby had a vasectomy - I guess somebody somewhere has some splainin to do, beginning with the doctor who performed that said vasectomy.
"Steal Style Ideas from Celebrities Kitchens" - thanks, but no thanks.
Daniel Radcliffe would like to have children - good luck, dude!
Justin Bieber is planing a trip to space - I thought he already came from there.
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug - which reminds me: Central Park is beginning to look like The City By The Bay - too many men holding hands (yuk and barf).

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 31

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is in triple H again - and it looks like some crazies are actually enjoying it! You can also smell the hot weather - literally - on the subway.
Last night there was some kind of commotion under my windows involving running, shouts of "stop, police", radio squawking, etc. - this neighbourhood is becoming too interesting.
The crazy upstairs is doing her usual noisy deeds.
Felines are not crazy about the weather, but don't like the a/c either. Baby Bro attempted to clip their claws this morning - no success.
Emma Watson admitted to constantly feeling "inadequate" as an actress - well, she is, but then she is in good company, as most of actors and actresses today are inadequate.
Daniel Radcliffe claimed that he was a big fan of the musical Oliver while growing up and always wanted to try picking pockets - interesting, that.
Jennifer Aniston is trending at #1 as she "detailed" her yoga workout - yoga enthusiasts, feel free to chime in.
Kim Kardashain is trending at #3 because of her "swollen ugly feet" in flip flops that was considered a latest "fashion faux pas" - ah, eh, news flash! She is effin pregnant! It's hot! And preggos do get swollen feet - a lot!
There is also a suggestion of doing jumping jacks in your cubicle in lieu of coffee in order to feel more awake at work - I sometimes wonder if people writing this stuff ever held a "real" job.
Then there is a list of 10 points on how to keep your home secure - 2 points from me: get a gun and post about it on your door!
A friend of the groom at Louisiana wedding decided it would be a good idea to unleash a T-rex on the wedding party - thereby proving, once again, that men have only two stages of development: childhood and old age.
Bieber denies the latest paternity claim - no comment.
Coffee this morning in Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 22

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is approaching bla-y conditions, with intermittent rains and double H turning into triple - thank Gd for first floor apartment in the old building, with windows facing north!
Right corner of my laptop bears an unmistakable impression of the feline fangs - thanks, George! I also committed a tactical error 2 nights ago - left my ear buds on the desk overnight. Thank Gd they are still working - George, you have been a very naughty old cat indeed!
Emma Watson claims that she was watching Kardashins show in order to portray a socialite in her new movie - interesting, if completely flawed, research. 
Brad Pitt is trending at #2 right now due to being an extremely classy guy: he claims that his marriage to Aniston was "pathetic", he "got burned out" , "was wasting his opportunity" and got out - so, let me get this straight: you publicly cheat on your wife, shack up with your new squeeze, have a few kids with that one, do not propose marriage for a number of years using the most pathetic excuses, finally propose marriage, still trash your ex publicly, and then have millions of women swoon over you and consider you the sexiest man alive?! No wonder "regular" guys think that being a disgusting pig would get them "more chicks".
Trending at #6: Kim K.'s baby shower invites - I don't even want to know.
Trending at #7: Bieber threatens to sue his own party guests to the tune of 5 millions if they "snitch" - interesting hospitality laws not mentioned by Emily Post.
He is also besties with Chris Brown - they definitely deserve each other.
And, his monkey now officially belongs to the Germans - good going, krauts! Once in a blue moon you actually showed some humanity.
Finally, in Kate news: a "prominent feminist" Joan Smith "dedicated" a chapter to Kate in her latest book, claiming that she (the Duchess) is just an unambitious, bland individual, who had done nothing with her life after college but played a supporting role to her boyfriend, married him, and now gotten pregnant. Now, I understand that for any self-proclaimed feminist today just falling in love, marrying, and having children is an anathema, but I, in my tiny non-progressive brain, prefer women pursuing that as opposed to "fighting" for killing the unborn babies, defending perverts, and kissing up to the muslim invaders.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 19

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! It's rainy today - but not torrentially, so me happy.
Feline companions, though, are not that thrilled about the rain. Couple of days ago Sniff made another strategic error in attacking George on my bed - after which he climbed on top of the toiled and proceeded to meditate while staring at the fish on the shower curtain.
In Best Thing I Ever Made they were talking about fried stuff - yum!
Jennifer Lawrence "dazzled" in a Dior gown - a spectacular achievement, indeed. In related news: Jennifer Aniston and Kate Moss ended up wearing the same dress, and the "people in the know" concluded that it's impossible to compete with the ultimate "chic" of The Kate Moss - people, once again, go the Met! It costs almost nothing, but the refresher course on what is really chic and elegant is priceless!
Then there is a list of spring trends in clothes to avoid - ladies, you like it, you wear it! A photographer from New York traveled through deserts in order to photograph the abandoned sets of the the Star Wars movies - which only shows that nothing lasts forever, not even Star Wars.
Falling in love has five recorded health benefits - as long as you don't fall for "the goat", as the old Russian saying goes.
The list of 10 most dangerous jobs in the US omitted one that really is The Most Dangerous - a right-wing journalist trying to expose the truth about comrade Hussein and his administration.
"Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez Reunite And Get Cozy In Las Vegas" - is Jelena back on, or what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?
And, finally, some publication called Mamas Latinas, was raving about Kate's new hair style - which turned out to be (are you ready for this?) a ponytail!
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 10

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's warm and sunny outside - but feline companions are still snoring away in their usual designated spots. The crazy upstairs is very much awake and performs with a vengeance. J. Lo.'s boyfriend "out-divas" her - that means that they are perfect for each other. Vogue is not happy with Kim K.'s dress - how about not being happy with your Hussein-supporting editor? Not that l loved Kim's dress, mind you. Jennifer Aniston wanted Giselle's hair and ended up with a bad haircut - yea, as the old Jewish saying goes, we should all have those problems. Zoe Saldana's character from Colombiana inspired a lot of baby name - oh, yikes! Prince Harry is visiting us again - my first thought was "where would he end up naked now?" He surpassed that by making a surprise visit to parteigenosse Michelle's mother's day tea - yuk and barf! But most of his visit would be spent "honoring the wounded and the dead of war", so he redeemed himself with that one. Anne Hathaway went platinum blond - which did not improve her looks at all. Martha Stewart met her first 2 Match.com dates on the Today show - speaking of awkward first dates. "Coke addresses health critics" - dear morons, it's coke, nut carrot juice, for pete's sake! Drink it and enjoy - just remember that it does not have the same benefits as the above-mentioned juice! Bieber posted a picture of him and friend drinking beer - how bloody original. No news on the Kate front. Coffee this morning in my blue wine glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 2

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is magnificent! But Sniff is still hanging by his pipe in the bathroom when he is not hanging by Baby Bro's bed, or eating my flippies, or just making a general nuisance of himself. I went to the library to check if my reserves were ready - they were not, but somehow I came back with 8 books (well, at least I did not have to pay for them). Alton Brown was talking about celery - I wonder what secret service told him when they visited him on parteigenosse Michelle's orders. But Marc Summers was talking about stuffed foods, beginning with hostess cakes - yay! And Ina made a dessert of sweetened berries, meringue, and whipped cream for Mariska Hargitay! Of course, camera did not show Mariska actually eating it, but still fun. Daniel Radcliffe is "set to play in Tokyo Vice", and Emma Watson is the highest paying actress in Hollywood - ah, the magical world of Harry Potter that keeps enriching even the mediocre actors! Trending at # 1 - David Tutera filed for divorce from his husband; the filing by the husband alleges that Tutera has a "sex addiction" - homosexual marriage is such a wonderful thing, because, according to the people in the know, homos are the most loyal lovers. Yuk and barf - they are the most promiscuous part of the society! Aniston is postponing her wedding so she won't get married close to Jolie/Pitt knot-tying - lady, give it a rest! You were married to a bastard who cheated on you in front of the whole country! Don't give him another thought! And believe me, both - or rather- all four of you will get plenty of attention to satisfy your narcissistic needs. Trending at #4: Leo DiCaprio is planning to take a break from acting - hurray for not seeing mediocracy for a while; what bothers me, though, is the fact that he won't just be enjoying his millions in peace, but indulge in envirowacoism on a rather large scale. Bill Clinton admitted that his fave movie is "Who Is Your Daddy?" - to quote a popular book "the rich seam of humor that I could mine from this is endless." Justin Bieber caused trouble in Istanbul airport - big deal! What else is new? According to Hollywood Life, Kate is making sure to avoid stretch marks by using coco butter with vitamin E - yea, whatever. Stretch marks are as sure occurrence as the corruption is in politicians. And HuffPo also run a piece titled "Secrets of the Royal Nursery" - duh! It's a crib, a dresser, and a bunch of toys - secrets, my gluts! And, finally, a former military man in Wisconsin made his daughter a custom camouflage-themed prom dress - go, military dad! Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.