Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! Considering the time of the year, the weather is simply rocking - but not for long, as, you know, global warming and stuff.
George is alternating between turkey and tuna. Sniff "helped" me clean.
The offensive t-shirts were laundered and are waiting for the warmer weather and the continued chances to offend.
Speaking of laundry - only one TV was on; that one was turned on channel 5. The so-called news were not as bad - but then there was Wendy Williams Show. Oh, sweet mercy!
The crazy upstairs is on her post.
Currently trending at #2 is Nick Cannon - because he officially filed for divorce from Mariah Carey. I wonder how much their lawyers are going to rake in.
Emma Stone is at #6 - because it looks like she is planning a summer wedding. More money into the economy - just into slightly different channels.
"Medicare chief is latest Obamacare casualty" - still waiting for the actual Obama to become the Obamacare casualty.
"Slain Charlie Hebdo editor blamed for attack" - wow, that was over a week in coming!
"Simple way to cook fish" - if you know how to cook, it's simple, geniuses!
"Why men are starting to embrace makeup" - yuck and barf!
"Tips to declutter your kitchen for good" - what planet are you from?
Kate Moss turns 41; still does not look real - or gorgeous, for that matter.
And here is an interesting twist - "George Clooney has a problem - and it's Amal". Why? Because his political aspirations might be derailed by his new bride's open Antisemitism. Big effin deal! My dear moronic brothers and sisters will still continue to sponsor Democrats and vote for them.
And, finally, "Prince Harry tops 8,000 pounds outfit with 1.66 pounds socks" - how do you know the precise prices? And, most importantly, why is this important?
Coffee this morning in disposable cup from the bagel shop next to the laundromat.
Wednesday, May 13, 2020
MORNING UPDATE, January 23, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is pretty decent for a January Day - but the big storm is expected to hit our cost, because, you know, global warming and stuffs.
George refuses to eat turkey now - tuna is still OK. Sniff re-discovered my bed last night, but this morning he decided to relocate to his favorite radiator.
This morning I decided to balance my checkbook and pay my bills before coffee and brunch - I wonder if straight jackets come in lavender, my favorite color.
Crazy upstairs did a short version of her routine today - I wonder if she is OK.
Currently trending at #1 is Jon Gosselin - because he "scores DJ gig". Wow, who knew the dude was so multitalented!
Trending at #2 is Kendall Jenner - because she "shows off some serious leg". Oh, come on! Since when are we so Victorian-minded as to swoon over some girl's legs? Plus, hers look pretty good, but I have seen better on the subway - and those were not airbrushed and/or photoshopped.
Trending at #3 is Kerry Washington - because she "could only trust" Louboutin's shoes when she was pregnant. Nice to know that those shoes are so "balanced" - will have to speak to the management about adding a book about Louboutin heels to our pregnancy section.
Katy Perry, on the other hand, went to the LA Fashion Awards in all pink outfit that included bubblegum pink Adidas' classic Duramo slides - OK, if a celebrity shows up in flip flops anywhere, I can sue for copyright infringement.
Here is another interesting tidbit - according to the study conducted by the University of Pennsylvania, "an individual’s Twitter behavior is a better predictor of coronary heart-disease than “smoking, diabetes, income and education — combined.” Wow, I am speechless!
Coffee this morning in my Get A Grip mug.
George refuses to eat turkey now - tuna is still OK. Sniff re-discovered my bed last night, but this morning he decided to relocate to his favorite radiator.
This morning I decided to balance my checkbook and pay my bills before coffee and brunch - I wonder if straight jackets come in lavender, my favorite color.
Crazy upstairs did a short version of her routine today - I wonder if she is OK.
Currently trending at #1 is Jon Gosselin - because he "scores DJ gig". Wow, who knew the dude was so multitalented!
Trending at #2 is Kendall Jenner - because she "shows off some serious leg". Oh, come on! Since when are we so Victorian-minded as to swoon over some girl's legs? Plus, hers look pretty good, but I have seen better on the subway - and those were not airbrushed and/or photoshopped.
Trending at #3 is Kerry Washington - because she "could only trust" Louboutin's shoes when she was pregnant. Nice to know that those shoes are so "balanced" - will have to speak to the management about adding a book about Louboutin heels to our pregnancy section.
Katy Perry, on the other hand, went to the LA Fashion Awards in all pink outfit that included bubblegum pink Adidas' classic Duramo slides - OK, if a celebrity shows up in flip flops anywhere, I can sue for copyright infringement.
Here is another interesting tidbit - according to the study conducted by the University of Pennsylvania, "an individual’s Twitter behavior is a better predictor of coronary heart-disease than “smoking, diabetes, income and education — combined.” Wow, I am speechless!
Coffee this morning in my Get A Grip mug.
MORNIBNG UPDATE, January 26, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! It's snowing! It's supposed to be a historic snowstorm - let's see if our dear Mayor will plow UES this time around.
Cats are extra sleepy - wish I could do the same. Sniff continues to sleep on my bed most of the night, but now he is on his fave radiator, so George took up my bed.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent - maybe she is also extra sleepy?
Currently trending at #8 is Kim Kardashian - because she published a new book. Wow! She also arrived in DC "bundled up in fur", but in sandals! Hum - should I sue this one for copyright infringement?
"Rodman: N. Korea wasn't involved with Sony hack" - as always, paging psychiatric help for this dude.
"Match your favorite diet to your skincare" - that also needs psychiatric intervention.
"Mountain-size asteroid set to buzz Earth" - who cares about asteroids? We got terrorists, environmentalists, and politicians that are doing bang up job of buzzing the Earth.
"The best winder fitness gear of 2015" - what bloody fitness in the winter?!!
And, finally, Will, Kate, and Georgie are sunning somewhere - one of the few times I envy royals.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug.
Cats are extra sleepy - wish I could do the same. Sniff continues to sleep on my bed most of the night, but now he is on his fave radiator, so George took up my bed.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent - maybe she is also extra sleepy?
Currently trending at #8 is Kim Kardashian - because she published a new book. Wow! She also arrived in DC "bundled up in fur", but in sandals! Hum - should I sue this one for copyright infringement?
"Rodman: N. Korea wasn't involved with Sony hack" - as always, paging psychiatric help for this dude.
"Match your favorite diet to your skincare" - that also needs psychiatric intervention.
"Mountain-size asteroid set to buzz Earth" - who cares about asteroids? We got terrorists, environmentalists, and politicians that are doing bang up job of buzzing the Earth.
"The best winder fitness gear of 2015" - what bloody fitness in the winter?!!
And, finally, Will, Kate, and Georgie are sunning somewhere - one of the few times I envy royals.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug.
MORNING UPDATE, January 30, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! For now it's a beautiful January day, but more cold and snow predicted.
George got it into his head to meow piteously when he is not demanding food, but just wants to be brushed. Sniff woke me up this morning by snuggling next to my head.
The little darlings at work hit me with about ninth different stain of rhinovirus, so I go around the house scaring the poor beasts with my sneezing and coughing.
The crazy upstairs performs her routing sporadically - I guess even she is adversely affected by the winter.
Currently trending at #1 is Peyton Manning - because he is not sure about coming back next season. I am sure it's a breaking and earth-shattering development, but as I am completely disinterested in any kind of sport, can't really offer my personal opinion on that one.
All-inclusive resorts are trending at #3 - that's what should be at #1!!!
"Dartmouth takes drastic step" by banning all hard liquor on campus - that's not drastic, that's idiotic. Refusing to brainwash students and actually educate them - that would, indeed, be drastic.
Our dear Secretary of State John Kerry was fined 50 big ones for "failing to shovel snow" - aww, poor guy! I am sure it was very painful for his wallet.
"What It's Like To Go A Month Without Alcohol, Sugar, And Caffeine" - why? Why? Why? Why would you do something like this to yourself?!!!
And, finally, Kate's younger brother was bitching about, er, claiming that it can be really "frustrating" to be in her shadow - um, dude, I hate to break it to you, but your sis ended up being a princess and a mother of the future king, so it's sorta hard to top that. Just man up and be a decent human being - that's all anyone can do anyway.
Coffee this morning in my NRA mug.
PS - as I was typing this, the crazy upstairs woke up and performed her routine straight over my head.
George got it into his head to meow piteously when he is not demanding food, but just wants to be brushed. Sniff woke me up this morning by snuggling next to my head.
The little darlings at work hit me with about ninth different stain of rhinovirus, so I go around the house scaring the poor beasts with my sneezing and coughing.
The crazy upstairs performs her routing sporadically - I guess even she is adversely affected by the winter.
Currently trending at #1 is Peyton Manning - because he is not sure about coming back next season. I am sure it's a breaking and earth-shattering development, but as I am completely disinterested in any kind of sport, can't really offer my personal opinion on that one.
All-inclusive resorts are trending at #3 - that's what should be at #1!!!
"Dartmouth takes drastic step" by banning all hard liquor on campus - that's not drastic, that's idiotic. Refusing to brainwash students and actually educate them - that would, indeed, be drastic.
Our dear Secretary of State John Kerry was fined 50 big ones for "failing to shovel snow" - aww, poor guy! I am sure it was very painful for his wallet.
"What It's Like To Go A Month Without Alcohol, Sugar, And Caffeine" - why? Why? Why? Why would you do something like this to yourself?!!!
And, finally, Kate's younger brother was bitching about, er, claiming that it can be really "frustrating" to be in her shadow - um, dude, I hate to break it to you, but your sis ended up being a princess and a mother of the future king, so it's sorta hard to top that. Just man up and be a decent human being - that's all anyone can do anyway.
Coffee this morning in my NRA mug.
PS - as I was typing this, the crazy upstairs woke up and performed her routine straight over my head.
MORNING UPDATE, February 13, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's sunny, windy, and bloody cold outside - I guess the ice caps on the North Pole melted completely and cooled the Gulf Stream (or something to that extent). Cats are not happy about the cold either; George completely refuses to eat poultry, and Sniff broke my fave soup mug during his morning exercise routine.
Yesterday wanted to watch a movie on Netflix - ended up watching Stardust because Netflix suggested it. Enjoyed it just as much as I did the first time around.
The crazy upstairs is awake and active.
Currently trending at #1 is Khloe Kardashian - and if you click on her name, the following headline comes up: "Kardashian Cleavages Battle: Kim vs. Khloe". Leaving that for the dudes to figure out.
Correction: Charlie Sheen just jumped to #1 with the following statement: "Brian Williams, you're my hero!" Brilliant! A pathetic drunk with extremely mediocre talent and history of attempted murder of his wife is defending a lying Obama supporter! Pass the popcorn - this is a very, very amusing show!
Rosie O'Donnell is at #10 so we can find out all about her last day hosting The View - good riddance to Rosie, and hopefully soon, good riddance to The View!
Ruth Bader Ginsburg admitted that she fell asleep during Hussein's latest speech because she was not "completely sober" - for once, I sympathize with her. How can you survive any of his speeches being completely sober?
"Things to avoid when traveling abroad" - try to avoid traveling to countries that do not like Americans.
"Guilt-free napping" - the words "guilt" and "nap" should never be connected!
"Edible aphrodisiacs" - spare me.
And, finally, a woman named Ellen Smith celebrated her 100th birthday by playing gold - you go, grandma!
Coffee this morning in my NRA mug.
Yesterday wanted to watch a movie on Netflix - ended up watching Stardust because Netflix suggested it. Enjoyed it just as much as I did the first time around.
The crazy upstairs is awake and active.
Currently trending at #1 is Khloe Kardashian - and if you click on her name, the following headline comes up: "Kardashian Cleavages Battle: Kim vs. Khloe". Leaving that for the dudes to figure out.
Correction: Charlie Sheen just jumped to #1 with the following statement: "Brian Williams, you're my hero!" Brilliant! A pathetic drunk with extremely mediocre talent and history of attempted murder of his wife is defending a lying Obama supporter! Pass the popcorn - this is a very, very amusing show!
Rosie O'Donnell is at #10 so we can find out all about her last day hosting The View - good riddance to Rosie, and hopefully soon, good riddance to The View!
Ruth Bader Ginsburg admitted that she fell asleep during Hussein's latest speech because she was not "completely sober" - for once, I sympathize with her. How can you survive any of his speeches being completely sober?
"Things to avoid when traveling abroad" - try to avoid traveling to countries that do not like Americans.
"Guilt-free napping" - the words "guilt" and "nap" should never be connected!
"Edible aphrodisiacs" - spare me.
And, finally, a woman named Ellen Smith celebrated her 100th birthday by playing gold - you go, grandma!
Coffee this morning in my NRA mug.
MORNING UPDATE, March 6, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Shushan Purim! It's nice, sunny, and cold outside; and the streets are covered in somewhat pristine snow - a perfect March day! (for Moscow). Felines are tired of the long winter as well - they are just sleeping. George also decided that turkey might be OK sometimes, but tuna is definitely the food of the Egyptian gods. Sniff increased the amount of meditating he does over the food bowl.
Youtube decided - for the reasons unknown - that it has to bombard me with ads featuring Jennifer Aniston and the latest free gift with purchase at Estee Lauder. Um, guys, your data collection engine is misfiring big time!
Yet another "New York Times bestselling author" of picture books for kids - Beth Stern! Of course, my naïve mind did not make the connection till I actually saw the back side of the book (pun not intended).
Currently trending at #3 is Kendall Jenner - because she was "Nearly Trampled By Crazed Fans In Paris". My barely existing respect for the French just plummeted even further.
Alex Baldwin is at #2 - because he is supposed to play NYC Mayor on HBO. Well, he is as loony as our own Mayor, and just as lefty, so, it works.
Tax preparation is trending only at #8 - I guess it's only March, hence it's not on top yet.
"Eva Longoria sizzles in tight grey dress" - as always, it's not her intellect that "sizzles".
"The jobs recovery is weaker than it seems" - wow!! You don't say!!
"Why it pays to be semivegetarian" - not when you tally the astronomic prices of fruit and veggies!
"Nostalgic dessert is making a comeback" - since we are talking about Jell-O, I had no idea it ever "went away".
"Good news for milk drinkers" - oh, hell, I forgot that milk might be bad for you!
And, finally, the fans of Downtown Abbey, rejoice! Kate is scheduled to visit the set of the show to celebrate its success.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Bean Bag Mini mug with Mickey and Friends.
Youtube decided - for the reasons unknown - that it has to bombard me with ads featuring Jennifer Aniston and the latest free gift with purchase at Estee Lauder. Um, guys, your data collection engine is misfiring big time!
Yet another "New York Times bestselling author" of picture books for kids - Beth Stern! Of course, my naïve mind did not make the connection till I actually saw the back side of the book (pun not intended).
Currently trending at #3 is Kendall Jenner - because she was "Nearly Trampled By Crazed Fans In Paris". My barely existing respect for the French just plummeted even further.
Alex Baldwin is at #2 - because he is supposed to play NYC Mayor on HBO. Well, he is as loony as our own Mayor, and just as lefty, so, it works.
Tax preparation is trending only at #8 - I guess it's only March, hence it's not on top yet.
"Eva Longoria sizzles in tight grey dress" - as always, it's not her intellect that "sizzles".
"The jobs recovery is weaker than it seems" - wow!! You don't say!!
"Why it pays to be semivegetarian" - not when you tally the astronomic prices of fruit and veggies!
"Nostalgic dessert is making a comeback" - since we are talking about Jell-O, I had no idea it ever "went away".
"Good news for milk drinkers" - oh, hell, I forgot that milk might be bad for you!
And, finally, the fans of Downtown Abbey, rejoice! Kate is scheduled to visit the set of the show to celebrate its success.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Bean Bag Mini mug with Mickey and Friends.
MORNING UPDATE, March 8, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! It's actually warm outside!! I mean, it's windy, and the snow looks blah-y, but the temperatures are normal for March - wow...
George is sleeping after whining for and partaking of his tuna (and having a scuffle with Sniff). Sniff is also sleeping after trying to run out about 6 times, chasing the devils - and picking up a fight with George.
By the strange quirk of our new scheduling system, yours truly got a day off today - which I am enjoying to the fullest (e.i. just being a lazy bum).
Today is The International Women's Day - which to me personally means some funny and weird childhood memories and even funnier Jewish lore.
Today is also the first day of Daylight Savings Time - for which bounty I would like to curse once again everyone responsible for this travesty and twice yearly abuse of our bodies.
The crazy upstairs is strangely quiet - I guess she did not change her clocks on time.
Currently trending at #1 is Carrie Underwood - because of her newborn baby boy. Mazal Tov!
Trending at #5 is Nail Polish - I think people are anticipating the season of sandals and pedis!
Trending at #9 is Amal Clooney - because she is "to teach at Columbia Law". How lame and unoriginal!
Wedding Invitations are trending at #10 - love is in the air?
"'American Sniper' now top-grossing film of 2014" - which kinda proves that Americans still "need a hero", despite all the bloviating and propaganda from the Left.
Our fair metropolis is at #7 amongst "The 10 richest cities in the U.S."; San Francisco is at #1 - which probably explains the success of one specific branch of Lefty propaganda.
"The 7 Taxes we hate the most" - really? I would think by now we hate all taxes, not just any specific ones.
In the news of hairstyles - Raven Symone "Is Experimenting With a Platinum Blonde Hairpiece".
And, finally, Kate's fave designer was talking about "dressing her baby bump".
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug that my sis got for me.
George is sleeping after whining for and partaking of his tuna (and having a scuffle with Sniff). Sniff is also sleeping after trying to run out about 6 times, chasing the devils - and picking up a fight with George.
By the strange quirk of our new scheduling system, yours truly got a day off today - which I am enjoying to the fullest (e.i. just being a lazy bum).
Today is The International Women's Day - which to me personally means some funny and weird childhood memories and even funnier Jewish lore.
Today is also the first day of Daylight Savings Time - for which bounty I would like to curse once again everyone responsible for this travesty and twice yearly abuse of our bodies.
The crazy upstairs is strangely quiet - I guess she did not change her clocks on time.
Currently trending at #1 is Carrie Underwood - because of her newborn baby boy. Mazal Tov!
Trending at #5 is Nail Polish - I think people are anticipating the season of sandals and pedis!
Trending at #9 is Amal Clooney - because she is "to teach at Columbia Law". How lame and unoriginal!
Wedding Invitations are trending at #10 - love is in the air?
"'American Sniper' now top-grossing film of 2014" - which kinda proves that Americans still "need a hero", despite all the bloviating and propaganda from the Left.
Our fair metropolis is at #7 amongst "The 10 richest cities in the U.S."; San Francisco is at #1 - which probably explains the success of one specific branch of Lefty propaganda.
"The 7 Taxes we hate the most" - really? I would think by now we hate all taxes, not just any specific ones.
In the news of hairstyles - Raven Symone "Is Experimenting With a Platinum Blonde Hairpiece".
And, finally, Kate's fave designer was talking about "dressing her baby bump".
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug that my sis got for me.
MORNING UPDATE, May 8, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is sorta summery - we want spring!! Cats finished their morning sessions of whining for food, fighting, hunting local barbarians, and running around the house - and are now happily snoozing in their respective corners.
Mark Kelly is busy producing children's books - in between the times devoted to deprive us of our constitutional right.
Recently astonished a bunch of friends by telling them that I don't think Colin Firth made a decent Mr. Darcy.
Currently trending at #3 is Shonda Rhimes - and, surprisingly, not because people are gunning for her for killing McDreamy.
Gifts for mom are trending at #5 - no comment.
Chevy Volt is at #10 - someone is still moron enough to buy it?!!
Some moron in Virginia posted his demand note on Instagram before going in to rob a bank - insert your own joke here.
In the news of hairdos - it looks like Katie Holmes' haircut at the infamous, excuse me, famous Met gala was a wig. Could have told you that from the beginning.
Tina Fey took off her dress in honor of her last appearance on the Letterman - hurray for women's lib!
"Bieber's couture look" - there is just so much that's not right with this headline!
"Benefits of measles shot" - like, really?!! You need to know the benefits of the measles shot?!!
"White House fence upgrade" - that is ironic on so many levels.
And, finally, it looks like the bonnet that princess Charlotte wore for her first public appearance was put on backwards - the culprit or culprits unknown.
Coffee this morning in my blue wine glass from Target.
Mark Kelly is busy producing children's books - in between the times devoted to deprive us of our constitutional right.
Recently astonished a bunch of friends by telling them that I don't think Colin Firth made a decent Mr. Darcy.
Currently trending at #3 is Shonda Rhimes - and, surprisingly, not because people are gunning for her for killing McDreamy.
Gifts for mom are trending at #5 - no comment.
Chevy Volt is at #10 - someone is still moron enough to buy it?!!
Some moron in Virginia posted his demand note on Instagram before going in to rob a bank - insert your own joke here.
In the news of hairdos - it looks like Katie Holmes' haircut at the infamous, excuse me, famous Met gala was a wig. Could have told you that from the beginning.
Tina Fey took off her dress in honor of her last appearance on the Letterman - hurray for women's lib!
"Bieber's couture look" - there is just so much that's not right with this headline!
"Benefits of measles shot" - like, really?!! You need to know the benefits of the measles shot?!!
"White House fence upgrade" - that is ironic on so many levels.
And, finally, it looks like the bonnet that princess Charlotte wore for her first public appearance was put on backwards - the culprit or culprits unknown.
Coffee this morning in my blue wine glass from Target.
MORNING UPDATE, May 12, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather, well, not too put a fine point on it, sucks! There is nothing worse than this idiotic haze - which, by the way, settled on three weeks earlier! Sniff sits by the open kitchen window and observes his domain; George remembered his fondness for cereal and milk.
The crazy upstairs is very active.
The eminent writer known as Kim Kardashian West came out with a new book called Selfie.
Currently trending at #1 is someone named Erin Andrews - because she "swears she didn't roll her eyes Monday night when Noah Galloway proposed to Jamie Boyd on "Dancing With the Stars."" Wow! Just wow! That is number one?!!
Trending at #3 is Liam Neeson - who is " is in final negotiations to star in the terrorist-themed thriller A Willing Patriot." Good job, Liam! I am sure it's another movie glorifying gun control.
"Introducing Dr. Kanye West" - insert your own joke here.
"Taste-tasting the new McDonald's kale meal" - there is something seriously wrong with this sentence.
"Prince Harry 'would love to have kids right now'" - good luck, Your Highness! It's so easy to find someone you want to have kids with.
And, finally, the headline of the week: "Did Kylie Jenner Raid Justin Bieber's closet?"
Coffee this morning in my black cup from Target.
The crazy upstairs is very active.
The eminent writer known as Kim Kardashian West came out with a new book called Selfie.
Currently trending at #1 is someone named Erin Andrews - because she "swears she didn't roll her eyes Monday night when Noah Galloway proposed to Jamie Boyd on "Dancing With the Stars."" Wow! Just wow! That is number one?!!
Trending at #3 is Liam Neeson - who is " is in final negotiations to star in the terrorist-themed thriller A Willing Patriot." Good job, Liam! I am sure it's another movie glorifying gun control.
"Introducing Dr. Kanye West" - insert your own joke here.
"Taste-tasting the new McDonald's kale meal" - there is something seriously wrong with this sentence.
"Prince Harry 'would love to have kids right now'" - good luck, Your Highness! It's so easy to find someone you want to have kids with.
And, finally, the headline of the week: "Did Kylie Jenner Raid Justin Bieber's closet?"
Coffee this morning in my black cup from Target.
MORNING UPDATE, May 14, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is absolutely gorgeous! George got his own version of spring fever where he just drives everyone bonkers. Sniff thinks that freshly cleaned table and counters were specifically prepared so that his royal highness can enjoy them as his personal couch.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent.
White House is currently on the lockdown because some schlimazal decided to "pilot a drone over the fence" - once again, insert your own jokes here.
Currently trending at #1 is someone named Anastasia Ashley - who apparently is a "Sports Illustrated model"; and the reason she got the top spot is because she "has been named brand ambassador and is the face of Freedom for Finishing Touch, the number #1 hair remover for women in America." Wow! What a piece of earth-shattering news!
Trending at #3 is Blythe Danner - because she "defended Paltrow, saying, 'I know that she’s the most extraordinary girl who can do everything'". Of course a mother thinks her daughter is extraordinary, even when she is nuttier than a fruitcake. Why is this news?
Catherine Deneuve is at #8 - because she "has lamented the demise of old-school Hollywood glamour." You and me both, girlfriend, you and me both.
"Is Mexico safe for US tourists right now?" - why the hell would anyone want to go there in the first place?!!
According to latest studies, having more siblings makes you more creative, healthier, and less likely to divorce - another reason for loving mine!
"9 clever tricks to rid your home of odors" - how about at least one trick to defend yourself against the malodorous barbarians? Especially in the summer?!!
"3 models, 3 white-hot looks at Cannes" - once again, may I suggest a trip to the Met - or another museum featuring the art of dead white males? That will show what truly beautiful women and elegant clothes look like.
And, finally, "Prince George's hair grooming secrets" - that one just made me roll my eyes.
Coffee this morning in my personalized mug from Hershey Park.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent.
White House is currently on the lockdown because some schlimazal decided to "pilot a drone over the fence" - once again, insert your own jokes here.
Currently trending at #1 is someone named Anastasia Ashley - who apparently is a "Sports Illustrated model"; and the reason she got the top spot is because she "has been named brand ambassador and is the face of Freedom for Finishing Touch, the number #1 hair remover for women in America." Wow! What a piece of earth-shattering news!
Trending at #3 is Blythe Danner - because she "defended Paltrow, saying, 'I know that she’s the most extraordinary girl who can do everything'". Of course a mother thinks her daughter is extraordinary, even when she is nuttier than a fruitcake. Why is this news?
Catherine Deneuve is at #8 - because she "has lamented the demise of old-school Hollywood glamour." You and me both, girlfriend, you and me both.
"Is Mexico safe for US tourists right now?" - why the hell would anyone want to go there in the first place?!!
According to latest studies, having more siblings makes you more creative, healthier, and less likely to divorce - another reason for loving mine!
"9 clever tricks to rid your home of odors" - how about at least one trick to defend yourself against the malodorous barbarians? Especially in the summer?!!
"3 models, 3 white-hot looks at Cannes" - once again, may I suggest a trip to the Met - or another museum featuring the art of dead white males? That will show what truly beautiful women and elegant clothes look like.
And, finally, "Prince George's hair grooming secrets" - that one just made me roll my eyes.
Coffee this morning in my personalized mug from Hershey Park.
MORNING UPDATE, May 19, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! Happy Rosh Chodesh Sivan! The weather is a bit strange, but as long as there is no sun beating down on us through the fog of 85% humidity, this camper is happy.
Sniff sent us on a guilt trip by sitting next to his food bowl, chased the demons, destroyed the window screen some more, and is now resting in the cat house. George complained about food, ate some of it, fought with his roommate, complained some more, and is now sleeping on my spare blanket.
This morning was in dire need of some pastafarian reading materials as some extra friendly Russian-speaking missionaries who looked like they were from somewhere in Uzbekistan came knocking on my door.
The crazy upstairs is alive, kicking, and on top of her routine.
Currently trending at #1 is Kris Jenner - because "Bruce Jenner's transition has been tough on his entire family". My heart bleeds borsch for the entire family.
Paris Hilton is at #7 - as she "has broken the selfie ban on the Cannes red carpet." Self-absorbed much?
But, then, I would assume that self-absorption and general idiocy is not limited to the attendees of Cannes festival as "The Cannes Film Festival is coming under scrutiny for its strict dress code after women not wearing high heels were turned away from a premiere." Very French and deeply profound. "Naked dresses" were OK, by the way, as was clearly demonstrated by Eva Longoria.
Acura MDX is at #6 for reasons unclear.
"Taylor Swift jumpsuit drama" - there is just sooo much wrong with this headline, I don't know where to start.
"Why do men exist? Science (finally) has an answer" - I am sure the grant requests for that particular groundbreaking study were pretty amusing.
"13 clever ways to hide a microwave in your kitchen" - why?!!
"Worst casino decisions" - the first being actually walking into a casino.
And, finally, Will's paternity leave is over, but his mother-in-law is stepping in.
Coffee this morning in my musical notes mug.
Sniff sent us on a guilt trip by sitting next to his food bowl, chased the demons, destroyed the window screen some more, and is now resting in the cat house. George complained about food, ate some of it, fought with his roommate, complained some more, and is now sleeping on my spare blanket.
This morning was in dire need of some pastafarian reading materials as some extra friendly Russian-speaking missionaries who looked like they were from somewhere in Uzbekistan came knocking on my door.
The crazy upstairs is alive, kicking, and on top of her routine.
Currently trending at #1 is Kris Jenner - because "Bruce Jenner's transition has been tough on his entire family". My heart bleeds borsch for the entire family.
Paris Hilton is at #7 - as she "has broken the selfie ban on the Cannes red carpet." Self-absorbed much?
But, then, I would assume that self-absorption and general idiocy is not limited to the attendees of Cannes festival as "The Cannes Film Festival is coming under scrutiny for its strict dress code after women not wearing high heels were turned away from a premiere." Very French and deeply profound. "Naked dresses" were OK, by the way, as was clearly demonstrated by Eva Longoria.
Acura MDX is at #6 for reasons unclear.
"Taylor Swift jumpsuit drama" - there is just sooo much wrong with this headline, I don't know where to start.
"Why do men exist? Science (finally) has an answer" - I am sure the grant requests for that particular groundbreaking study were pretty amusing.
"13 clever ways to hide a microwave in your kitchen" - why?!!
"Worst casino decisions" - the first being actually walking into a casino.
And, finally, Will's paternity leave is over, but his mother-in-law is stepping in.
Coffee this morning in my musical notes mug.
MORNING UPDATE, May 22, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is fantastic! George continues to periodically complain about the general state of affairs. Sniff climbed on top of the fridge and meditated there for a while.
A bit earlier saw a dude walking his dog and singing.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent - oops, spoke too soon.
Currently trending at #8 are used cars - why now, I wonder; maybe because the economy is still very much in the crapper?
Mattress sales are at #10 - because it's holiday weekend? Why such a spiked interest in mattresses all of a sudden?
Katie Holmes is obsessed with socks - because, according to her, she does not have enough, and she hates cold feet. OK, let's send her some socks for Christmas.
"Robin Thicke steps out with new girlfriend" - that's some quick work there. Wasn't he serenading his ex wife just a couple of months ago?
"Jennifer Love Hewitt embraces "sexy" motherhood" - why the hell does everything has to be sexy?!! Feminists? Anyone?
"Bathroom upgrades you never knew you needed" - interesting. I wonder what else I need that I don't know about.
"How Clinton can be 'small business president" - stop laughing already!
"Best beaches for 2015" - it's a beach!! Just enjoy it!
Coffee this morning in my funky green mug from Yves Rocher.
A bit earlier saw a dude walking his dog and singing.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent - oops, spoke too soon.
Currently trending at #8 are used cars - why now, I wonder; maybe because the economy is still very much in the crapper?
Mattress sales are at #10 - because it's holiday weekend? Why such a spiked interest in mattresses all of a sudden?
Katie Holmes is obsessed with socks - because, according to her, she does not have enough, and she hates cold feet. OK, let's send her some socks for Christmas.
"Robin Thicke steps out with new girlfriend" - that's some quick work there. Wasn't he serenading his ex wife just a couple of months ago?
"Jennifer Love Hewitt embraces "sexy" motherhood" - why the hell does everything has to be sexy?!! Feminists? Anyone?
"Bathroom upgrades you never knew you needed" - interesting. I wonder what else I need that I don't know about.
"How Clinton can be 'small business president" - stop laughing already!
"Best beaches for 2015" - it's a beach!! Just enjoy it!
Coffee this morning in my funky green mug from Yves Rocher.
MORNING UPDATE, May 26, 2015
Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is typical for the end of May, damn it!
Our household was in a state of crisis last night and this morning - mainly, felines ate twice the regular amount of tuna (probably celebrating as well), so we ran out. George had to be given catnip - hilarity ensued. Sniff was just sitting next to the food bowl and sending his usual glances.
The crazy upstairs got well rested over the holidays and is back to her routine - vigorously, I should add.
"Gigi, Bella, Kendall, & Hailey rule Memorial Day Weekend Style" - here is an earth-shattering headline for you.
Currently trending at #8 is Liam Neeson - because "Ad executives looking for a celebrity to endorse their product can't do much better than actor Liam Neeson." I guess firearms are not included in the "products".
According to the Forbes' list of "world's most powerful women of 2015", the second place on this list belongs to Hillary Rodham Clinton, and the the tenth - to Michelle Obama. On behalf of women - yuck and barf!
"Kanye West Sends Kim Kardashian Gushing Anniversary Twitter Message One Day Late" - awww, how sweet and romantic!
"The exact right height to hang pictures" - seriously?!!
"Healthy leafy greens?" - really? Is there such thing as "unhealthy leafy green"?
"Amal Clooney steals spotlight in yellow silk dress" - a profound achievement.
"Lena Dunham Poses In A Bra And Underwear Because She Can" - a great day for the women's lib!
And, finally, a truly astonishing piece of news: "Islamic State pays for fighter's honeymoon." How, um, very romantic of them.
"Kanye West Sends Kim Kardashian Gushing Anniversary Twitter Message One Day Late" - awww, how sweet and romantic!
"The exact right height to hang pictures" - seriously?!!
"Healthy leafy greens?" - really? Is there such thing as "unhealthy leafy green"?
"Amal Clooney steals spotlight in yellow silk dress" - a profound achievement.
"Lena Dunham Poses In A Bra And Underwear Because She Can" - a great day for the women's lib!
And, finally, a truly astonishing piece of news: "Islamic State pays for fighter's honeymoon." How, um, very romantic of them.
Coffee this morning in my funky glass Cappuccino mug.
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