MORNING UPDATE, February 13, 2013

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather improved slightly, and there is no more snow under my window. Got a bit scared in the night when I heard somebody else snoring in the room till I realized that I was Snuffles sleeping in the cat house. 

The latest issue of my monthly bible featured Dakota Fanning on the cover - and let me tell you, boys and girls, she looks mighty scary. The same publication also claims that 67% of guys do not mind leg stubble - mighty generous of them. And, finally, the publication released the information on Kardashians' 2 step-sisters who are ready to take on the world - world, get a bit more scared! Paparazzi got Kate's baby bump, and will release it, or rather the pictures of it, very shortly! Rejoice, oh world, because nobody saw a tall, skinny, 30 year old preggo in expensive clothes before! And this just in - Alec Baldwin's current wife is pregnant also, and, like Kate and Kim K, also due this summer - hell, where should we all hide this summer? Shortly after Pope announced his resignation, the Vatican was struck by humongous lightning - insert your own comment, as everyone else is busy doing just that. Taylor Lautner turned 21 - which happy event is currently trending at #8; the birthday bash included bowling and Kristen Stewart as guest. Congrats, Taylor! I hope the legally served beer was enjoyable. Our fair city is one of 5 US metro areas where there are way more single women than men - I guess that explains the singularly unappealing state of NY single men. In the same vein - our very own Brooklyn Botanical Garden is considered New York's most romantic location. Wow, could have fooled me, because every time I go there, it is full of local barbarians and their progeny, along with "inner city" kiddies and barbarian curses. Yea, I can see myself swooning in romantic embrace there. 

Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug.

MORNING UPDATE - March 5, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's actually warm and sunny outside! Poor Phil - last year he was sued for inaccurately predicting an early spring, and this year people are hunting him because he accurately predicted a late one.
Our fair city now has only 315,998 potholes as our dear Mayor personally repaired two.
George is hunting the sparrows from my window; Sniff is sleeping in the cat house - without stretching to the radiator.
Currently trending at #2 is Halle Berry - who, after giving birth to her son, claimed that she is "not quite where she wants to be with her body". I can only assume that her mind is also not quite where we would like it to be.
Trending at #8 is Oral-B toothbrush as it "launches interactive oral care app for kids to increase brushing time". I got a sneaking suspicion that the people working on it have no kids.
"Worst states to die in" - I don't even want to know.
"Low key spring breaks" - buster, it's either low key or it's a spring break; you can't have both at the same time!
"9 signs you are about to be audited by the IRS" - well, let's see...Belonging to a tea party group; membership in the NRA; flying American flag; anti-Obama bumper stickers - you get the point.
The latest on Bieber is too gross.
And, finally, Kate's and Will's itinerary for their Australian trip was "revealed" - I guess so that the locals would know in advance which areas to mob (or to stay away from).
Coffee this morning in my Get A Grip mug.

MORNING UPDATE - February 28, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's sunny and freezing outside - Phil, you are very lucky that you are not easily accessible by NY public transportation! 
Yet another person recently inquired if our felines are a special breed - because they are so huge. Nope, just American-food-available-in-great-quantities-mutts variety. Psychotic, but still mutts, er, American short hair, that is.
The crazy upstairs is warming up with her usual.
Currently trending at #1 is Janet Jackson - because the rumors about her divorce are "not true". I guess she is still ecstatically happy with her muslim husband.
Trending at #2 is Jada Pinkett Smith - because she "Flaunts Fuller Figure". Considering her usual size, that's not a great achievement - not top 2 anyway.
Trending at #7 is Jeff Goldblum - as he is "back for Independence Day 2". I wonder from whom they will be saving the world this time - as, considering Hollywood's general trends, the obvious targets would not be used.
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are engaged - wow! What a surprise - we so did not see this one coming!
"How to dress for Oscars" - the more skin shows, the better (only for women, of course).
R-Patz got himself a new favorite co-star - and it's a cow (literally)!
"Cook dinner in a coffee pot" - OK, how small is your apartment already?!!
Washington, DC, is considered "the most literate city" in the US - did you sneak to Denver first before pronouncing that?!!!
Dr. Seuss went to Dartmouth and was caught drinking in his dorm during Prohibition - well, that's amusing to know.
And, finally, our dear city reportedly has 136,000 potholes - let's see how long it would take our dear, poor people loving mayor, to repair them.
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.