MORNING UPDATE - November 11, 2014

Good Morning, peep! Happy Tuesday! The weather is simply magnificent for a November day in NYC! Sniff and George are taking turns to enjoy the fresh air via the kitchen window.
Yesterday I sort of joined the 21st century, downloaded the Kindle app, and started using Amazon's services. Liberal a-holes in charge of our libraries, rejoice! You just delivered another customer to the greedy capitalist pig corporation!
The crazy upstairs is alive and very well.
Some kind of "bestselling author and and war-zone photographer" was telling a whole story about how she could not get a retail job in The Container Store - um, oh bright and genius writer and photographer, maybe working retail requires slightly different talents than the ones you displayed?
"Elizabeth Banks steals the show in dreamy gown" - a truly remarkable achievement!
"Chelsea Clinton on motherhood" - yea, considering what a shining example of motherhood she herself had growing up, good luck to her and to baby Charlotte!
Shailene Woodley might have a new boyfriends - eh, congratulations?
"What Americans crave more than sex" - sleep, baby, sleep!
"Calvin Klein calls size 10 model 'plus size'" - wow, am I surprised! You could have knocked me down with a feather!
"Male grooming tips" - "how to grow the perfect beard". Personally know a lot of people who can benefit from this advice.
"How to enroll in Obamacare" - oh, wait, wait, wait! It's not easy, cheap, and consumer-friendly? Wow!
Beyonce and Jay Z are hoping for a "Parisian pregnancy" - because, apparently, it is way different than, say, New York or LA pregnancy. Well, how about a Paris birth as well? Let them run their shenanigans in France.
According to some expert over at TMZ, Justin Bieber "could be a Pro Boxer" - I guess because he so looks the type.
And, finally, "Kaley Cuoco recycles her pink wedding dress" - who said you can't wear your wedding dress whenever the mood strikes?!
Coffee this morning in my Life is Delicious mug.

MORNING UPDATE - October 31, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's cold and cloudy outside - typical October in our fair city.
George decided that he prefers turkey (at least for now). Sniff finally figured out all our tricks of preventing him from leaving the apartment, and now it's just fun to watch him trying to trick us.
Due to poor planning ended up with half a gallon of Chalav Israel milk.
The crazy upstairs is alive and well, so the local precinct can rest easy - at least in this matter.
Currently trending at #1 is Ellen DeGeneres - because she dressed up as Amal Alamuddin for Halloween. The end result was, well, a bit strange.
Trending at #7 are Elsa and Anna - I guess for no other reason but for the fact that they are Elsa and Anna.
Big Bang Theory is at #10 - because Kaley Cuoco got a Hollywood star. Enjoy, Kaley!
Paris Hilton "globally dominated" fragrance industry for the past decade - as usual, consumers went for the name, because if you close your eyes, you won't be able to differentiate between Paris's fragrance and about twenty others.
"Haunted White House" - "How Obama, White House celebrate Halloween". There is no need to dress up at all, Michelle and Barry, as you resemble ghouls and Dementors the 365 days a year, not just on October 31.
"Miley's next big move: going glam for good cause" - of course, "good cause" just happens to be the one that Hollywood and lefties support.
"The best drinking tours in America" - let's go, people!
"How to shop for steak" - um, you go to the butcher's counter?
According the new study, US does not treat new parents as well as other industrialized nations - unless, of course, we are talking about illegal invaders, which, of course, the study did not account for.
No news on Bieber - but he is still alive and still did not decamp back to Canada.
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE - February 26, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's nice and white outside yet again - but at least we are secure in knowing that this year Phil was right. I tried to do a preemptive strike and feed George before he starts complaining, but no dice - he is ignoring his food and getting ready to whine. Sniff is in his demented horse mood - running around like crazy.
The crazy upstairs does not leave her post for anything.
Yesterday came to work to a prominent display of Rush's book - because yet another one of his is coming out soon.
Also yesterday the rumors were flying that our humble establishment was visited by Chris Noth - and I horrified my co-workers by telling them that I despise the dude (and not for his Mr. Big performance).
"How to go from brunette to blonde" - discussion of Julia Roberts and her hair. Nah, thanks, I am staying brunette.
"2 ways to apply blush" - silly me, only applying it one way.
Robin Thicke and wife split - duh! What took her so long?
"Reasons to drink red wine" - why should there be reasons?
Kaley Cuoco has a pet peacock - is he as psychotic as my pets?
Girl Scouts in Colorado are forbidden to sell their cookies outside the pot dispensaries - why?!!! It's a perfect set-up!
And, finally, considering the fact that our boys lost the final hockey match to the Canadians, it looks like we might have to keep Bieber for a while - but, guys, I don't hold it against you. You beat the Russians! After that, I can deal with Bieber for another period of time.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - January 1, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Getting colder and colder - and the ship is still stuck. Cats do not appreciate this weather - even George did not complain much, did not even eat, just went to sleep on my bed (as his papasan is still occupied). Sniff was meditating in front of the cat house for a while and finally decided to jump on top and go to sleep as well.
My Slavic neighbours were a complete disappointment this year - no singing or dancing! I guess their blood got thin and they did not like the cold also. On the bright side, the crazy upstairs is also quite after New Year's celebrations.
Currently trending at #1 is Carmen Electra - because she is one of the starts that loves yoga. Why is it on top? Because of New Year's resolutions?
Trending at #3 is Horoscope 2014 - your year will be filled with rainbow unicorns, and the love of your life will appear when Mars and Saturn will both be in zenith. Also watch out for the movements of Venus around February 15th - and don't miss the chocolate sales.
Kaley Cuoco is at #7 - because she got hitched on New Year's Eve. Mazal Tov!
The doctor who delivered Georgie was knighted by The Queen - I wonder if she knighted him with a sword or a scalpel.
"Miley Cyrus covers up for NYE in Times Square" - if was effin cold, dodo birds!
Pope made his usual speech, asking for peace in 2014 - well, Vatican is not where the main deterrents for world peace usually assemble.
"Colorado braces for retail marijuana" - why "braces"? Because the rest of the country is going to run there pronto to get some?
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 4

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Happy Seventh Day of Chanukah! Happy Rosh Chodesh! Ladies, I hope your hubbies remembered about Rosh Chodesh yesterday, and if not, they have today to do something about it. 
The weather rocks once again, so don't be surprised if Al Gore and some of the members of the IPCC will climb out from under some rock they were hiding, and lecture us a bit more.
Sniff came in to be petted this morning, then, as usual, proceed to eat my blanket. George is snoozing in his huge Amazon box.
No mice made an appearance yesterday, and we also got our shipment of Mockingjay!!!
Octavia Spencer is yet another celebrity who decided to become a children's book author. Also, we had some actor from True Blood making an appearance, as he also decided to write a book.
Currently trending at #7 are Ugg Boots - because they are "Black Friday's Hottest Fashion Item". People really have no taste in clothes, but as long as they are wasting their own money, let them enjoy their ugly boots - pun not intended.
Gillian Andersen posed for a photo with an eel for some kind of ocean benefit campaign - needless to say, she was also topless. I was always wondering at the necessity of ditching clothes in order to protect Mother Earth.
The most popular puppy names in 2013 were Bella and Max - any guesses why?
Kaley Couco is vacationing in the Bahamas with her fiance - who does not want to vacation in the Bahamas in December?
Jennifer Hudson admitted that at the time she won her Oscar she had no idea what Oscar meant - here is a record of living in a cave, ladies and gents!
Pope admitted that one of his past jobs was being a bouncer at the Buenos Aires airport - interesting, that.
"Justin Bieber is all grown up in the new music video" - really?!! You don't say!
And, finally, Kate wore a tiara for the first time since her wedding - long overdue, princess!
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 14

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is, well, appropriate for a November day in our fair city - still am not opposed to wearing flip flops.
Sniff got into all the food bowls first, played with his toy without human assistance, and is now resting in the cat house. George did minimal complaining, finally managed to eat in peace, and is now resting in the big Amazon box.
Randi Zuckerberg is another person who recently joined the list of the notable authors of children's books.
The crazy upstairs is surprisingly quite, but somebody else decided to compensate by making an awful racket in the hallway.
I got the new American Girl catalog yesterday - my commiserations to all the mothers out where who likewise got it, together with their daughters' unreasonable demands. Just tell them that American Girl is becoming increasingly un-American, and that should be the best excuse of not getting any of their products.
Yesterday a woman who looked unbelievably like a pure Aryan complained about the lack of books on African history - interesting, that.
Currently trending at #1 is Melissa Joan Hart - because she "kisses and tells" in the latest interview, meaning she was telling about all the leading men she kissed - either in character, or in real life (with details, of course). Very informative and definitely top-spot worthy.
"Why Spears wears the same clothes in public" - isn't recycling anything a worthy endeavor?
Victoria's Secret had its annual fashion show, including the prerequisite bra, excuse me, bustier, worth a cool 10 million - I wonder why nobody remembers starving kids in Africa at that particular time.
Prince Charles just turned 65, ergo he is entitled to his $175 a week of government pension - even thought he did not work a day in his life.
Tina Turner filed papers in order to relinquish her American citizenship - good riddance! With Gd's help, Sean Penn and Eva Longoria to follow shortly, together with all the other America haters.
"Bieber-funded social network" - I really don't want to find out what the heck is means.
Kaley Cuoco loves her horses so much that she wants to include them in her wedding - that is going to be interesting, to say the least. Another issue of Modern Bride?
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug - old edition.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 8

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is perfect for a November day - still went out in flippies. 
Sniff was hugging the warming pipe in the kitchen for the whole morning, and George requested an extra helping of chicken - they are definitely in the cold weather mode.
Tea kettle finally arrived; ditto for the key.
The list of noted children's book authors also includes such intellectual giants as Jessica Lange and Jim Carey.
Liberals manage to make even great places like public libraries stink to high heavens.
Currently trending at #6 is Portia de Rossi - who "opened up" about her "coming out"; fascinating and, most importantly, unique.
Trending at #2 is Mariah Carey - who "Hits New High on Social 50 Chart". I have no idea what social 50 chart means, but something tell me it's not something akin to Mensa.
"Why Holmes left Cruise" - big deal. Why she married him to begin with would be a more interesting topic, as the dude is clearly deficient in the upper story.
"New J. Lo Barbie doll slims her famous curves" - it looks like Mattel reached a new low: not in "slimming curves", but in producing a J. Lo doll.
"Kaley Cuoco's ex opens up" - wow, Leonard and Penny used to be an item in real life?
"How to look better in photos" - to quote Zhvanetzky, "the reflection in the mirror needs changing".
A boy in Kansas was suspend from school for schlepping around with a Vera Bradley bag - seriously?!!! The school administration has nothing better to do than to police the way students carry their stuff around?!!
In the news of hairdos: Pamela Anderson told Ellen that she "stole her hairdo" - well, she is safe in doing it, as, according to Men's Health survey, more than 58% of men admitted that she was their first sexual fantasy - ergo nobody would accuse her of being a lesbian.
Another jackass from the clothing industry opened his big yup - this time it is someone called Dennis Wilson, whose company produces yoga pants. In response to complains about the quality of his product, he claimed that "some women's bodies...don't work in the pants". They are exercise pants, you moronic asshole! What the hell is there to work?!!!
The latest Star Wars movie would be released in the summer of 2015 - I wonder how many fans are dusting their outfits and when will they starts to get in line for the tickets.
"How to join Twitter" - this is a joke, right?
"What to do in a shooting" - pull out your gun and shoot back! Unless, of course, you are deprived of your Second Amendment rights by the well-meaning moronic bastards. In which case, pray for your life.
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 2

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is usual for July in New York - which is: if you can walk on the street without suffocating or being drenched by torrential rain, you are fine.
Sniff went on a walk yesterday, but only stayed in the hallway - the great big outdoors scare him. George abandoned his amazon box and is now occupying a more snug box from the toilet paper.
The main fun of watching any kind of Western is to see women having shotguns at the ready and firing them at different kind of human scum.
Alicia Silverstone is trending at #3 because she launched a breast milk sharing program for vegan moms - how about launching a common sense initiative?
Jennifer Lawrence has committed her first fashion faux pas - and at a fashion show, of all places! Well, her pants were ridiculous, but at least she was dressed.
Kristen Stewart, on the other hand, was supposedly dazzling when she showed up "after keeping a low profile for months", while R-Patz was "spotted with a redhead" - twi-hearts definitely got their final hopes dashed.
Selena Gomez "got emotional" when she found out that her single became #1 - I am also emotional at the thought of horrible taste that our youth has.
Kaley Cuoco is dating the latest Superman, otherwise known as Henry Cavill - I don't know if this is funny for anyone not watching The Big Bang Theory, but it's hilarious to me.
Avril Lavingne's wedding festivities went on all night - did not know that she or her husband are chassidish.
No coffee yet as we mysteriously run out of milk last night.