Here are few compliments and utterings by my family and friends that define me the best:
Around the tender age of eight, my anti-Commie proclivities surfaced and defined themselves never to be buried again under any circumstances; combined with my big yup that sometimes presented tiny problems. At any rate, one of my uncles, flabbergasted by such displays, politely informed my Dad that this kid might just land him in prison. My Daddy, confirmed anti-Commie since the age of eighteen, threw his chest forward and proudly proclaimed: “My Daughter!”
Two months before my twelfth birthday, I got the supreme pleasure of being enrolled in a class with about twenty five other kids, with about 80% of the parent body being in “diplomatic service” – Commie speak for KGB agents. Unfortunately, my big yup got the better of me yet again, and shortly thereafter I was confronted by an angry mob of kiddies around and slightly above my age cornering me outside of our classroom and yelling the Russian equivalents of “dirty kike” at me. I responded by calling them “Nazis”. Shortly after my twelfth birthday, my dad went to this illustrious learning institution to collect my transcripts in order to enroll me in a different school. The principle, also flabbergasted by yours truly, snippily informed my parent that in her forty years of educational experience that was the first case of a student calling the entire body of young pioneers in the school “HitlerJugend”. My Daddy, G-d bless him, informed her that his daughter did not tell lies, and if she called the students little Nazis, maybe they were, in fact, little Nazis.
When I was about seventeen, a certain family member who kept popping in and out of friendship with us re-surfaced again. In a fit of generosity, she offered to take me for a ride in her car – quite a treat in Moscow in the eighties. Yours truly, however, declined due to the fear of succumbing to the car sickness. The blessed relative took it as an offense and confronted my Dad, accusing my poor Mom of some nefarious deeds. My Dad squelched the stupidity, in the process explaining that it is very hard to force Barbara to do something she really does not want to do, despite her seemingly obliging nature. “You could never do it – just try”.
One of my many former friends (at least I think it was him), who liked to pretend the deep knowledge of Judaism and assume the pose of erudite philosopher, once politely told me that for a religious fanatic I looked and acted quite normally. Thanks, dude!
In the not so olden days, when yours truly was not the only singleton in her circle of friends, one of those friends decided to go to some kind of singles weekend function, and invited Beloved Sibling and your humble servant to come along. This author, already fed up with all kinds of organized singles events, politely declined. The friend persisted, trying to engage the help of my sister. “You do not know my sister?” - Was Beloved Sibling’s reply – “if she sticks her two hooves into the ground, it is impossible to budge her”. Friend was genuinely surprised, but the weekend went swimmingly without my attendance.
Just this morning, I ran into my other good friend on the subway station. As he, for reasons that flabbergasted me, continues to be an Obama supporter, I half-jokingly call him “class enemy”. He, in turn, is always trying to come up with suitable responses. So, this morning he greeted me with “Hello, the enemy of the proletariat”! As I was, as my friend E. puts it, pre-coffee, I did not respond in the satisfactory (for me) manner. Only later, after my customary 24 oz. of Hazelnut with half and half, did the good rejoinder pop into my brain. “Proud and confirmed enemy of the proletariat since the age of seven”!
In summary, I am a “stiff-necked” Jew, mouthy, and set in her ways – and very proud of it.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
MY “STIMULUS”LIST
Practically Unchanged Since The Last Time
Our esteemed so-called President, in the best traditions of his lefty buddies, bastardised another innocent English word; which by now became fodder for idiotic commercials and the butt of bad jokes. I will use his term to specify my vision – not only for economic recovery, but the general health of this country. By now the situation became dire enough for all of the below mentioned to be number one; so, I’ll just list them in random order and use numbers for the ease of reading alone.
1. You either love and appreciate this country, or get the hell out of here – there is no iron curtain holding you here against your will!
2. A while ago Burt Prelutsky offered a brilliant plan of dealing with liberals and their cabal – you pay them a certain amount of money (I think two million per bastard/bastardess was mentioned), and they leave the country and never darken our doors again. The price might seem a bit steep – but when you figure out the amount of damage they inflict on the rest of us daily – hell, hourly, - the price becomes very nominal. This group should include everyone not happy with either the letter or the spirit of our Constitution; everyone who thinks they belong to one of the many persecuted minorities, and is, therefor, entitled to unending amount of extra rights; almost every high-ranking politician with a letter D attached to his or her name; almost all of our Muslim population; about 75% percent of federal employees; about 90% of public educators (beginning with kindergarten lever all the way up to PhD and beyond); 99% of people considering themselves pacifists; 99% of entertainment industry; 98% of so-called journalists, about 97% of environmentalists; every person who says “my home country” and means any other country aside from USA; everyone who does not like the absence of universal health care; and 100% of people claiming that food here has no taste.
3. Every American citizen has full right under the constitution to redress grievances; that includes protesting the war he or she disagrees with. That DOES NOT include the right to physically attack our war veterans, disturb military funerals; vandalize recruitment offices; and any other garbage the likes of Medea Benjamin come up with.
4. The most important responsibility of the federal government (which the present one abdicated completely) is our safety. War means war, be it a direct reaction to the enemy attack or preemptive strike – that means letting our soldiers do their jobs without later harassment and false accusations a la late Rep. Murtha. That also means, unfortunately, civilian casualties. And before you assault my ears with your lily-livered tirades, please remember that this particular enemy will not spare your children, even if you try with all your might to spare theirs. In this vein, I honestly do not care about the civilian population of Iraq, Afghanistan, or any other Muslim-controlled country. Let our boys and girls neutralize these two – by any means necessary! Next step – blanket bombing anything remotely capable of giving Iran nuclear weapons. And on the side note and with all due respect to the esteemed individual in question – could somebody please, please enlighten General Petraeus regarding our so-called allies in the Muslim world? And could someone please arrange a meeting between him and Colonel Richard Camp?
5. Immediate repeal of federal income tax (that includes disbanding IRS); enough blood-sucking and legalized stealing!
6. NO MORE federal bailouts of anybody – nobody is too big to fail! That especially includes Democrat pet dog Goldman Sachs; they can gamble all they want – just not with money confiscated from us by federal government.
7. Our medical system, by far not perfect, is still the best in the world. As such it requires immediate repeal of monstrosity foisted on us by those two ugly mugs from Little Shop of Democratic Horrors – Obama and Pelosi. Contrary to what my centrist friends claim, Republicans have plenty to offer in terms of health care reform – and their offers actually make sense and do not convert the Constitution into toilet paper.
8. USA should immediately sever any and all relationships with UN (especially the monetary one). UN, in turn, can re-locate anywhere that strikes the fancy of Secretary General: Riyadh, Moscow, or Burkina-Faso; as long as it is not in my fair city of my beautiful country.
9. NO FOREIGN AID TO UNGRATEFUL SWINE!!!!! I said it many times, and I will repeat it again and again – ENOUGH!! Any and all celebrity airheads are more than welcome to spend their own ill-gotten gains on any other nation they want – just leave the beleaguered US taxpayers out of it.
10. There are way too many people occupying government jobs on all three levels – especially the federal one; reduction of staff seems a good course. In the same venue, let our elected officials forgo their payments and perks (real and imaginative) for about a year – if we are in serious recession, they should justify their ironic label of public servants.
11. All labor unions should be disbanded and proclaimed illegal; if anyone does not like it, please refer to number one.
12. Education is a privilege and not a right specified in the constitution; moreover, nowhere in this document is it specified that overseeing education is within purview of the federal government; as such, it is the right and responsibility of states. Department of Education should be abolished as well. And, on the personal note, anyone who sends their child to public schools in their present condition, especially the ones in big cities should be investigated on suspicions of child abuse.
13. This country was settled, created, expanded and build mainly by Protestant Christians. Founding Fathers belonged to the same “religious sect”; so did the people who wrote and ratified American Constitution. Nowhere in this document is the separation of church and state mentioned in any shape of form, or under any sauce or jelly. Religious freedom and religious toleration – yes; separation of church and state – no. So, atheists, Satanists, worshipers of Gaea, Wicca, or Obama – this is a country build by Christians – please live them alone and allow them to practice their faith in peace– or see number one!
14. Enough with thought police, political correctness, affirmative action, and other garbage! And black citizens – first of all, please learn some none-revised history: white slavers, as disgusting and reprehensible as they were, did not run around African Continent enslaving your ancestors – your illustrious ancestors were “do it yourself” kind of folks. So not one “white” in the present day America (including David Duke) owes you diddly-squat! Not happy? Zimbabwe looks fantastic, especially this time of the year. All other persecuted minorities – enjoy life here without moaning, groaning, or extra demands, or refer to number 1!
15. In no other country on earth do you have people immigrating and then having the unmitigated gall of claiming persecution and demanding respect of their language and culture! You came to us – respect us, our language, and our culture! No multi-lingual voting information, no “1 for English”, and “hell no” for any other language but English! Do not like it? Refer to numbe1 1.
16. Immediate deportation of illegals and serious security for both Southern and Northern borders! On the side note, La Raza and any other crap shoot in the same venue should also be declared illegal.
17. Environmentalists, green lobby, and all other members of this pirate ship can do anything they want with their own lives (and on their own dime) – sleep naked in trees, cart their ugly re-usable bags around, commune with endangered Siberian tigers, walk twenty miles to work every day, or eat only the fruit of the tree that have fallen on its own – they may not force anyone else to follow their lunacy! And about 6 billion in government lettuce that are allotted to fund their moronic research into controlling the uncontrollable – please return it back to the cookie jar and do not give it to them again. EPA should be disbanded as well, and people like Al Gore indicted on criminal charges. On the same topic – “energy independence”? We have enough natural resources to achieve that and drown all the OPEC nations in their own oil, which goal would be achieved as soon as the red/brown shirts masquerading in green are no longer in charge of anything remotely connected to economic matters.
18. In case of Barak Hussein Obama, or whatever his name is – either he proofs beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is indeed a natural–born citizen of this country – in which case Congress starts immediate impeachment process, and we hold special elections; or – he is constitutionally unfit for the office of the President, in which case Congress starts immediate criminal process, and we hold special elections – either way, we win.
In short, we defeat our enemies (especially the domestic ones), get rid of all the foreign “friends” we do not need, curtail out of control government, de-regulate business, stop paying chocking and unnecessary taxes, get rid of all the home-grown and imported haters, and, most importantly, rediscover our pride as Americans – recovery would not be painless; but it would be achievable and achieved.
Our esteemed so-called President, in the best traditions of his lefty buddies, bastardised another innocent English word; which by now became fodder for idiotic commercials and the butt of bad jokes. I will use his term to specify my vision – not only for economic recovery, but the general health of this country. By now the situation became dire enough for all of the below mentioned to be number one; so, I’ll just list them in random order and use numbers for the ease of reading alone.
1. You either love and appreciate this country, or get the hell out of here – there is no iron curtain holding you here against your will!
2. A while ago Burt Prelutsky offered a brilliant plan of dealing with liberals and their cabal – you pay them a certain amount of money (I think two million per bastard/bastardess was mentioned), and they leave the country and never darken our doors again. The price might seem a bit steep – but when you figure out the amount of damage they inflict on the rest of us daily – hell, hourly, - the price becomes very nominal. This group should include everyone not happy with either the letter or the spirit of our Constitution; everyone who thinks they belong to one of the many persecuted minorities, and is, therefor, entitled to unending amount of extra rights; almost every high-ranking politician with a letter D attached to his or her name; almost all of our Muslim population; about 75% percent of federal employees; about 90% of public educators (beginning with kindergarten lever all the way up to PhD and beyond); 99% of people considering themselves pacifists; 99% of entertainment industry; 98% of so-called journalists, about 97% of environmentalists; every person who says “my home country” and means any other country aside from USA; everyone who does not like the absence of universal health care; and 100% of people claiming that food here has no taste.
3. Every American citizen has full right under the constitution to redress grievances; that includes protesting the war he or she disagrees with. That DOES NOT include the right to physically attack our war veterans, disturb military funerals; vandalize recruitment offices; and any other garbage the likes of Medea Benjamin come up with.
4. The most important responsibility of the federal government (which the present one abdicated completely) is our safety. War means war, be it a direct reaction to the enemy attack or preemptive strike – that means letting our soldiers do their jobs without later harassment and false accusations a la late Rep. Murtha. That also means, unfortunately, civilian casualties. And before you assault my ears with your lily-livered tirades, please remember that this particular enemy will not spare your children, even if you try with all your might to spare theirs. In this vein, I honestly do not care about the civilian population of Iraq, Afghanistan, or any other Muslim-controlled country. Let our boys and girls neutralize these two – by any means necessary! Next step – blanket bombing anything remotely capable of giving Iran nuclear weapons. And on the side note and with all due respect to the esteemed individual in question – could somebody please, please enlighten General Petraeus regarding our so-called allies in the Muslim world? And could someone please arrange a meeting between him and Colonel Richard Camp?
5. Immediate repeal of federal income tax (that includes disbanding IRS); enough blood-sucking and legalized stealing!
6. NO MORE federal bailouts of anybody – nobody is too big to fail! That especially includes Democrat pet dog Goldman Sachs; they can gamble all they want – just not with money confiscated from us by federal government.
7. Our medical system, by far not perfect, is still the best in the world. As such it requires immediate repeal of monstrosity foisted on us by those two ugly mugs from Little Shop of Democratic Horrors – Obama and Pelosi. Contrary to what my centrist friends claim, Republicans have plenty to offer in terms of health care reform – and their offers actually make sense and do not convert the Constitution into toilet paper.
8. USA should immediately sever any and all relationships with UN (especially the monetary one). UN, in turn, can re-locate anywhere that strikes the fancy of Secretary General: Riyadh, Moscow, or Burkina-Faso; as long as it is not in my fair city of my beautiful country.
9. NO FOREIGN AID TO UNGRATEFUL SWINE!!!!! I said it many times, and I will repeat it again and again – ENOUGH!! Any and all celebrity airheads are more than welcome to spend their own ill-gotten gains on any other nation they want – just leave the beleaguered US taxpayers out of it.
10. There are way too many people occupying government jobs on all three levels – especially the federal one; reduction of staff seems a good course. In the same venue, let our elected officials forgo their payments and perks (real and imaginative) for about a year – if we are in serious recession, they should justify their ironic label of public servants.
11. All labor unions should be disbanded and proclaimed illegal; if anyone does not like it, please refer to number one.
12. Education is a privilege and not a right specified in the constitution; moreover, nowhere in this document is it specified that overseeing education is within purview of the federal government; as such, it is the right and responsibility of states. Department of Education should be abolished as well. And, on the personal note, anyone who sends their child to public schools in their present condition, especially the ones in big cities should be investigated on suspicions of child abuse.
13. This country was settled, created, expanded and build mainly by Protestant Christians. Founding Fathers belonged to the same “religious sect”; so did the people who wrote and ratified American Constitution. Nowhere in this document is the separation of church and state mentioned in any shape of form, or under any sauce or jelly. Religious freedom and religious toleration – yes; separation of church and state – no. So, atheists, Satanists, worshipers of Gaea, Wicca, or Obama – this is a country build by Christians – please live them alone and allow them to practice their faith in peace– or see number one!
14. Enough with thought police, political correctness, affirmative action, and other garbage! And black citizens – first of all, please learn some none-revised history: white slavers, as disgusting and reprehensible as they were, did not run around African Continent enslaving your ancestors – your illustrious ancestors were “do it yourself” kind of folks. So not one “white” in the present day America (including David Duke) owes you diddly-squat! Not happy? Zimbabwe looks fantastic, especially this time of the year. All other persecuted minorities – enjoy life here without moaning, groaning, or extra demands, or refer to number 1!
15. In no other country on earth do you have people immigrating and then having the unmitigated gall of claiming persecution and demanding respect of their language and culture! You came to us – respect us, our language, and our culture! No multi-lingual voting information, no “1 for English”, and “hell no” for any other language but English! Do not like it? Refer to numbe1 1.
16. Immediate deportation of illegals and serious security for both Southern and Northern borders! On the side note, La Raza and any other crap shoot in the same venue should also be declared illegal.
17. Environmentalists, green lobby, and all other members of this pirate ship can do anything they want with their own lives (and on their own dime) – sleep naked in trees, cart their ugly re-usable bags around, commune with endangered Siberian tigers, walk twenty miles to work every day, or eat only the fruit of the tree that have fallen on its own – they may not force anyone else to follow their lunacy! And about 6 billion in government lettuce that are allotted to fund their moronic research into controlling the uncontrollable – please return it back to the cookie jar and do not give it to them again. EPA should be disbanded as well, and people like Al Gore indicted on criminal charges. On the same topic – “energy independence”? We have enough natural resources to achieve that and drown all the OPEC nations in their own oil, which goal would be achieved as soon as the red/brown shirts masquerading in green are no longer in charge of anything remotely connected to economic matters.
18. In case of Barak Hussein Obama, or whatever his name is – either he proofs beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is indeed a natural–born citizen of this country – in which case Congress starts immediate impeachment process, and we hold special elections; or – he is constitutionally unfit for the office of the President, in which case Congress starts immediate criminal process, and we hold special elections – either way, we win.
In short, we defeat our enemies (especially the domestic ones), get rid of all the foreign “friends” we do not need, curtail out of control government, de-regulate business, stop paying chocking and unnecessary taxes, get rid of all the home-grown and imported haters, and, most importantly, rediscover our pride as Americans – recovery would not be painless; but it would be achievable and achieved.
Friday, March 12, 2010
MEMBERSHIP GOING STRONG
This past weekend we were blessed with fantastic spring weather. So, off to the pak in double stroller on choo choo train we went.
Unfortunately, around half the city had the same bright idea (not necessarily involving choo choos, but still), and the playground was overcrowded. Both munchkins, not being of retiring nature when in familiar crowds, usually grow painfully shy in the unfamiliar once. So, after a little while of playing monkey bars, sliding, and swinging – all accompanied by holding Papi’s hand as a reassurance – Blondie politely requested to be taken home: his cue that he is not very happy with the present situation. Big Sister concurred. Papi, feeling bad that her favorite Munchkins did not enjoy themselves on such gorgeous day offered to go to the big place with palm trees (Winter Garden to the tourists), and visit chocolate shop. The said idea was approved, and the course taken.
In the chocolate shop (Godiva boutique to the tourists) we got a lot of enjoyment just by looking around with mouths slightly open. Then we proceeded to the counter for the truffle selection. So, the appropriate pieces were picked up for Mommy, for Abba, and, of course, for Curly and Blondie. After this ritual, Papi went to the cashier to pay, and that was when MBS looked at me and pointedly reminded her aunt that we seem to have forgotten MMM. “But, honey, MMM is still a baby; she is not allowed to have chocolates yet; she only drinks milk.” MBS just looked at me and pronounced with exasperation reserved for thick-sculled adults: “For when she grows up, Papi! Then she could eat it!”
I love you, my beautiful gnome!
Unfortunately, around half the city had the same bright idea (not necessarily involving choo choos, but still), and the playground was overcrowded. Both munchkins, not being of retiring nature when in familiar crowds, usually grow painfully shy in the unfamiliar once. So, after a little while of playing monkey bars, sliding, and swinging – all accompanied by holding Papi’s hand as a reassurance – Blondie politely requested to be taken home: his cue that he is not very happy with the present situation. Big Sister concurred. Papi, feeling bad that her favorite Munchkins did not enjoy themselves on such gorgeous day offered to go to the big place with palm trees (Winter Garden to the tourists), and visit chocolate shop. The said idea was approved, and the course taken.
In the chocolate shop (Godiva boutique to the tourists) we got a lot of enjoyment just by looking around with mouths slightly open. Then we proceeded to the counter for the truffle selection. So, the appropriate pieces were picked up for Mommy, for Abba, and, of course, for Curly and Blondie. After this ritual, Papi went to the cashier to pay, and that was when MBS looked at me and pointedly reminded her aunt that we seem to have forgotten MMM. “But, honey, MMM is still a baby; she is not allowed to have chocolates yet; she only drinks milk.” MBS just looked at me and pronounced with exasperation reserved for thick-sculled adults: “For when she grows up, Papi! Then she could eat it!”
I love you, my beautiful gnome!
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)