The Best Motto

Gd, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannon change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

You woke up this morning - Congratulations! You got another chance!

Tuesday, June 09, 2015

MORNING UPDATE - January 2, 2015

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's sunny and windy outside - a perfect January day. George settled on turkey for now - and also went to his old habit of playing with the toilet paper. Sniff waits for me to wake up and then gently leads me into the kitchen - even if the food bowl if full.
The Singing Slavs disappointed us this year again by not performing on New Year's night.
The crazy upstairs now performs her routine in the middle of the day.
The price of eggs still looks like they were laid by some kind of exotic golden hens.
The sadists at Youtube decided to bombard me with ads for Nassau and Paradise Island.
Currently trending at #7 is Kim Kardashian - because she is insisting that she is not pregnant. Another win for humanity.
"Obamacare tax surprise looms for some enrollees" - why in blazes is it still a surprise?!
"US sanctions North Korea" - North Korean dictator is officially shaking in his ugly suit.
There is apparently is list of 10 "best countries to retire to" - needless to say, good old US of A is not on it. But 5 out of 10 are located in Central and South America - where it's bloody dangerous to vacation, never mind living!
"Mistakes parents make when choosing baby names" - which, of course, are the worst mistakes parents can make.
"2015's biggest fitness trends" - how about just getting off your butts and doing what you like, not what's "trendy"?
And, finally, as Kate is due somewhere in April, people waist no time trying to figure out what the future holds for her, Will, and Georgie.
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug from LA.

MORNING UPDATE - December 25, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! Merry Day Off to me!!! It's beautiful December day outside, which I am very happy to observe from my window. Due to certain circumstances, George ended up eating Friskies today - which he consumed without any protest and asked for seconds; which, in turn, made Baby Bro call him a typical American who loves junk food. Sniff did his usual devil-chasing exercises in the morning and is now happily napping on the couch.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent.
Yet another celebrity who decided that she can write a whole series of children's books - Whoopi Goldberg.
Currently trending at #2 is Scott Disick - because he and Kourtney are supposedly "done having kids". On behalf of kids everywhere - thank you!
Trending at #10 is gourmet hot chocolate - why the hell isn't it at #1?!!
"Russia sides with North Korea" - why is this such a surprise?
"Mind games to aid workouts" - you exercise or your health goes south! What other mind games do you need?!!
"How to regift without getting caught" - classy.
"Is One Direction tired of its first hit?" - personally, I am tired of One Direction and the heavy books about them I have to constantly shelve.
"Obama's personal chef to to leave White House" - considering that he was also a "senior adviser for nutrition policy", he probably decided to call it quits before hungry kids from across America will come together to pelt him with their disgusting school lunches.
A dude was "escorted" off the American Airlines flight "after flipping out over staff's 'Merry Christmas'" - he is invited to spent a month in Iran, or Saudi Arabia, of Qatar, or Yemen, and enjoy religious toleration in there.
"How Jennifer Lopez keeps getting younger and younger" - um, desperation?
Coffee this morning in my personalized mug from Hershey Park.

MORNING UPDATE - December 12, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is so far not bad for a December day in our fair city. George went back to eating turkey. Sniff is fighting with imaginary devils once again.
I don't know which governmental agency is responsible for the price of eggs, but I would like to thank them - deeply, warmly, from the bottom of my heart!
The crazy upstairs woke up late, but with a vengeance.
Regnery sent me an email claiming that women read much more books per year than men and as such, books would make a great gift for a woman - well, duh!
Speaking of emails - I did not know that Jeb Bush and I are on such friendly terms.
All currently trending top ten are basically different gift options; at #10 are cashmere socks - wow, who knew you could have such luxurious almost undies!
"L.A. preps for Big One" - meaning they are anticipating a huge earthquake. Considering their voting propensities, I would suggest that they already got hit with the Big One - and help hit the rest of the country.
"America's biggest closet hits the market for $13M" - three story closet with a staircase!!! Wow! Texans don't do anything small.
"Why models' abs aren't all that healthy" - really?!! You need another explanation of that one?!
"Snooki opens Etsy craft shop" - the lady is truly multi-talented!
Our own New York city is a #2 travel destination for Christmas - that's why yours truly avoids Midtown like the plague for the entire month of December.
"The vast majority of vegetarians and vegans go back to eating meat within a year" - I am sooo surprised!
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - December 5, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is acceptable for the beginning of December - but not the best. George decided that he prefers fish now, and Sniff got over his fright of being lost.
The TV was showing Walker, Texas Ranger, of all things - and, of course, this time it was mute!
Currently trending at #4 is Alicia Keys - because of her new song "We Gotta Pray". Of course, she was compelled to add that "We (the blacks, I assume) absolutely feel disregarded as human beings". What's ironic is that one image in her video shows young "palestinian" girl holding a sing "Ferguson with love from Palestine" and another image showing a civil rights march clearly showing a dude who looks like an Orthodox Jew marching with black guys. Good work, Alicia! To quote a popular book - you never disappoint!
"Why you should add tea to your skin-care routine" - because "at least one celebrity facialist is a fan of applying tea directly to the skin". So, here you have it straight from the horse's mouth - run to smother your faces with tea!
"This winter's best beers" - they change from winter to winter?
There is a shortage of L.L. Bean boots! Good work, comrade Hussein, good work!
Disney is producing a line of "Frozen" make up for adults - oy gevalt!
An artist based right here in Brooklyn created pizza bedding - it looks a little scary, if you ask me.
"Potato skin snack" - another sign of a booming economy: instead of throwing away the potato peals, we can turn them into a snack!
Our own borough of Brooklyn was named the "least affordable place in the U.S."! What people find here still eludes me.
An owl was spotted swimming in Lake Michigan.
And, finally, Will and Kate are due to arrive in our fair city on Sunday - I wonder if that would increase the amount of crazies in the store.
Coffee this morning in the disposable cup from the bagel store next to the blessedly quiet laundromat.

Monday, June 08, 2015

MORNING UPDATE - November 28, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! Happy Black Friday! To all my friends at the store and all the rest of the retail workers - good luck! My thoughts and prayers are with you.
The weather is very typical for the end of November - very grateful that I don't have to go anywhere today. The prodigal Sniff is sleeping the cat house, and much pacified George only complains about his food now.
The crazy upstairs is manning her position.
Currently trending at #3 is High Hefner - because Kendra Wilkinson was talking about sex with him. No more details needed, thank you.
"Perfect after-holiday meals" - oh, for effs sake! Leftovers!
"Genius cleaning gift ideas for neat freaks" - don't know if neat freaks should rejoice or be insulted.
"Lustworthy winter boots" - in my humble opinion, if you are lusting after boots, it's time for some therapy.
"Prosecco tops Champagne in bubble sales" - if this is another way to annoy French and kick at their infernal arrogance, I am all in.
"Watch a drone deep-fry a turkey" - guys, enjoy yourselves!
"How gratitude can actually make you happier" - that one still needs to be proven and discussed?!!
"Justin Bieber Makes Thanksgiving Snowman With Pastor's Daughter: Picture" - thanks, no pictures needed.
And, finally, Kate was spotted shopping for bargains somewhere in Norfolk - did we inject her with our fever?
Coffee this morning in my new Cinderella latte mug.

MORNING UPDATE - November 14, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's sunny, windy, and freezing outside - global warming, my coccyx! Cats are snoozing in the warm spots of their choosing. George impersonated Sniff's demented running this morning - go figure.
Only two out of three TVs were working, and one had some kind of Spanish channel on - at least I did not understand what they were babbling about.
The crazy upstairs is doing well.
Currently trending at #2 is Ashton Kutcher - because his baby "is very cute." Well, my nieces are way cuter.
The "hottest name" to give a baby girl is Violet - because of Garner's and Affleck's daughter. Like, really?!!
"Cyrus, Schwarzenegger's son go public" - yikes! Arnold, good luck, buddy!
Kim Kardashian was photographed in the buff - yawn.
"Heavy Thanksgiving traffic on the horizon" - as opposed to other years, when it was very light?
"Salad-making mistakes" - mistake #1: not making one; mistake #2: listening to the so-called experts.
"Cocktail bucket list" - somebody dreams in very restricted terms.
"200 French police and military forces are trying to hunt down a large feline that is slinking around the city (Paris)" - 200 armed people to find one huge cat?!!! Go, France!
"Justin Bieber could face international arrest order" - could they just keep him in Argentina already?
And, finally, Kate and Will will be dropping by to visit DC and our fair city - one lives on tenterhooks trying imagine how would our so-called mayor and our so-called president manage to embarrass us once again.
Coffee this morning in the disposable cup from the overpriced bagel shop next to the blissfully-quiet and almost barbarian-free laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - November 11, 2014

Good Morning, peep! Happy Tuesday! The weather is simply magnificent for a November day in NYC! Sniff and George are taking turns to enjoy the fresh air via the kitchen window.
Yesterday I sort of joined the 21st century, downloaded the Kindle app, and started using Amazon's services. Liberal a-holes in charge of our libraries, rejoice! You just delivered another customer to the greedy capitalist pig corporation!
The crazy upstairs is alive and very well.
Some kind of "bestselling author and and war-zone photographer" was telling a whole story about how she could not get a retail job in The Container Store - um, oh bright and genius writer and photographer, maybe working retail requires slightly different talents than the ones you displayed?
"Elizabeth Banks steals the show in dreamy gown" - a truly remarkable achievement!
"Chelsea Clinton on motherhood" - yea, considering what a shining example of motherhood she herself had growing up, good luck to her and to baby Charlotte!
Shailene Woodley might have a new boyfriends - eh, congratulations?
"What Americans crave more than sex" - sleep, baby, sleep!
"Calvin Klein calls size 10 model 'plus size'" - wow, am I surprised! You could have knocked me down with a feather!
"Male grooming tips" - "how to grow the perfect beard". Personally know a lot of people who can benefit from this advice.
"How to enroll in Obamacare" - oh, wait, wait, wait! It's not easy, cheap, and consumer-friendly? Wow!
Beyonce and Jay Z are hoping for a "Parisian pregnancy" - because, apparently, it is way different than, say, New York or LA pregnancy. Well, how about a Paris birth as well? Let them run their shenanigans in France.
According to some expert over at TMZ, Justin Bieber "could be a Pro Boxer" - I guess because he so looks the type.
And, finally, "Kaley Cuoco recycles her pink wedding dress" - who said you can't wear your wedding dress whenever the mood strikes?!
Coffee this morning in my Life is Delicious mug.

MORNING UPDATE - November 7, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's chilly, but still nice outside. Both felines are providing us with an unending entertainment which also includes a robotic fish.
At work it's now that magical time when we, all being Harry Potter fans, have to impersonate him and his friends by magically stretching the shelves.
Meanwhile, the Jew-faces here, on the home front, used up all the hot water yet again.
The crazy upstairs is doing her usual stuff.
Currently trending at #1 is Valerie Bertinelli - who "Recounts The Day She Was Dissed by Christina Aguilera". I sincerely hope that she counted that as a blessing.
OK, correction: Hugh Hefner just climbed to #1 - because his son "Shares What It Was Like Growing Up in the Playboy Mansion". Ughhh and double Uhhhg!
Keira Knightley is at #9 - because she "Poses Topless to Protest Against Photoshop". What is it with naked and half-naked protesting?
"Cops called on nanny" - I guess one of my co-workers finally had enough.
"Khloe Kardashian Sends Lamar Odom Very Public Birthday Message" - classy, as usual.
"Best CMA Awards bodies" - OK, left-wingers, you have really gotten too far this time! Bodies because of innocent jokes?
"World's fastest golf cart" - an early Christmas present to comrade Hussein?
Rachel Bilson had a baby girl - the poor kid was named Briar Rose. But, hopefully, she won't be teased too much while growing up if you consider other celebrity baby names.
"How to wear red lipstick" - um, the same way you wear any other shade?
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - November 4, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is simply rocking - especially considering that it's November. 
Sniffy really wanted to go and vote with me - had to remind him that neither he, nor his roommate are registered (yet). Of course, the said roommate did not really care one way or another.
Speaking of elections - I got a sticker for voting!! Yay! So, peeps, just go and do it - at the very list, you cancel out the liberal vote and get a sticker for it!
Currently trending at #4 is Kim Kardashian - because she is supposedly "getting fit for the second baby". Somebody please alert the child services!
Miley Cyrus is "seeing" Patrick Schwarzenegger - good luck, Arnold! I sorta forgot how to say in German "son, you are a moron!"
"Angelina dishes on married life" - claims "it does feel different". Well, duh - congratulations on proving the axiom!
"Hefty annual price tag of bringing up a kid" - if you are a working taxpayer, that is. If you are a freeloader or illegal invader, the price tag is slightly different.
"Is daycare or a nanny better for your child?" - well, if you live in the vicinity of Union Square, nanny is not a good option for your kid.
"White House places blame" - why is this news? White house has been placing blame non-stop since January 2009.
And, finally, Will asked his grandma to make his daddy the king after she steps down - Brits, you are royally screwed! (pun not indented)
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - October 31, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's cold and cloudy outside - typical October in our fair city.
George decided that he prefers turkey (at least for now). Sniff finally figured out all our tricks of preventing him from leaving the apartment, and now it's just fun to watch him trying to trick us.
Due to poor planning ended up with half a gallon of Chalav Israel milk.
The crazy upstairs is alive and well, so the local precinct can rest easy - at least in this matter.
Currently trending at #1 is Ellen DeGeneres - because she dressed up as Amal Alamuddin for Halloween. The end result was, well, a bit strange.
Trending at #7 are Elsa and Anna - I guess for no other reason but for the fact that they are Elsa and Anna.
Big Bang Theory is at #10 - because Kaley Cuoco got a Hollywood star. Enjoy, Kaley!
Paris Hilton "globally dominated" fragrance industry for the past decade - as usual, consumers went for the name, because if you close your eyes, you won't be able to differentiate between Paris's fragrance and about twenty others.
"Haunted White House" - "How Obama, White House celebrate Halloween". There is no need to dress up at all, Michelle and Barry, as you resemble ghouls and Dementors the 365 days a year, not just on October 31.
"Miley's next big move: going glam for good cause" - of course, "good cause" just happens to be the one that Hollywood and lefties support.
"The best drinking tours in America" - let's go, people!
"How to shop for steak" - um, you go to the butcher's counter?
According the new study, US does not treat new parents as well as other industrialized nations - unless, of course, we are talking about illegal invaders, which, of course, the study did not account for.
No news on Bieber - but he is still alive and still did not decamp back to Canada.
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE - October 24, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy First Day of Rosh Chodesh! Ladies, I know that it's Erev Shabat, so it's pointless to remind you to keep it light on the housework - but please make sure hubbies give you gifts!
The weather is improved somehow and is actually pretty decent for the end of October. 
The heat is on, so Sniff returned to his ninja sleeping position - half on the radiator, and half in the cat house. George also has a fave relaxation pose - he assumes the phoenix pose on the Baby Bro's bed and sticks exactly one claw into the curtain.
Yet another celeb who decided to write a picture book - Bethenny Frankel.
Yesterday had to assist two space cadets simultaneously with Percy Jackson books - but if one was nice, smile-y, and grateful, the other one took it upon himself to prove that I am a moron (proving instead that he is a water buffalo).
Big announcement - although the original Singing Slavs retired for no apparent reason, their baton was recently picked up by a younger group!
The crazy upstairs is really scaring me into thinking of calling the police and checking on her.
Currently trending at #2 is North West - because, according to her mommy, she "will have a job". Afraid to find out the details.
Trending at #3 is Jessica Simpson - because her one year old son "is killing us with cuteness." Gun control enthusiasts rest.
Trending at #8 is Pippa Middleton - because of her claim of not dieting. Yea, lady, pull another one.
On the other hand, "Selena Gomez shares her elaborate beauty rituals" - spare me!
"Honey Boo Boo cancelled" - people with taste, rejoice!
And speaking of gun control - Rihanna is in hot water for her recent appearance with a purse shaped like a gun! This time common sense rests, once again.
"Why Lena Dunhan died her hair mint green" - who exactly gives a flying banana?
"Adult treats for Halloween" - what, raiding your kids' stash is now passe?
Coffee this morning in a disposable cup from a bagel shop located next to a barbarian-overrun laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - October 22, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is yuck-y and blah-y - typical October day in New York.
George and Sniff are both parked on Baby Bro's bed - George is warming up the blanket and Sniff is impersonating the foot warmer.
Yet another celeb who thinks she can write a book for kids - (former) Queen of Jordan Ranya.
According to the latest issue of the National Geographic Traveler, "A company in the Czech capital of Prague has launched "corruption tours" to show where crooked civil servants have wasted taxpayers' money" - White House, anyone?
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent again - should I call the police?
Actress Tatyana Ali of the Fresh Prince fame went on about her "good hair" and "explained that having straight hair made her feel alienated from her friends and family with textured hair. “It was something that set me apart—and not necessarily in a good way—from other girls that I knew,” she said. “I felt like I was made to seem different.” Like, seriously?!! That was your problem during childhood?
Yet another preggo celeb who supposedly nails the maternity style - Blake Lively. After looking at the picture, I would politely disagree.
"Viagra was originally designed to treat cardiovascular disease" - wow! Live an learn.
Elizabeth Warren claimed that she had been "treated differently in the Senate", but "refused to elaborate". Well, maybe people got stunned while meeting her when they expected a Native American gal?
Halloween is approaching - and in honor of it we have a list of celebs who claim to have ghostly experiences. Since the list includes such notables as Hillary Clinton, Miley Cyrus, and Lady Gaga, I think it would have been so much better if they themselves were ghostly apparitions and not real people we have to deal with.
No news on Bieber.
And, finally, Kate is feeling much better and returned to her royal duties "in style".
Coffee today in my Harry Potter mug.

MORNING UPDATE - October 7, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is great for an early October day in our fair city.
Sniff can't decide which bed he prefers; George can't decide about which food he should complain more - chicken or turkey.
New York's finest visited our building earlier today - more barbarians, more visits.
Yesterday got an interesting customer who obviously mistook our place for a welfare office - because he assumed that if he would not scream and generally would not behave like an obnoxious boor, he would be denied service.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent.
Currently trending at #1 are Khloe and Lamar - for completely mysterious reasons.
At #2 is Jennifer Aniston - also with just a bunch of her pictures.
And at #5 we got "Kendall Jenner: A New Victoria's Secret Angel?" A laudable achievement, especially for her tender years.
Hugh Grant almost didn't get his part in Four Weddings and a Funeral because he was "too handsome". Seriously?! Cute, yes; handsome - spare me!
"Simone shocks Oprah!" - by claiming that she is not African-American, but just American. Sharpton's and Jackson's heads exploding in 5, 4, 3...
"Company names you may be pronouncing wrong" - disaster of unimaginable magnitude!
"(Megan) Fox's leather corset dress" - earth-shattering piece of news right there!
"How to avoid plane germs" - by driving your own car.
No news on Beyonce or Bieber.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug (a newer version).

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

MORNING UPDATE - September 30, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is on the slightly blah-y side. Sniff continues to ambush me in the small hallway; George can't figure out what he likes more - chicken or turkey.
Lena Dunham, and, on the smaller scale, Oliver Jeffries, are both gracing my workplace today, so, very, very glad for the day off - although did manage to have a strange dream about crowds outside of the store.
The crazy upstairs is on her usual post.
A very important piece of news that I did not report on due to Holidays - George Clooney's nuptials. Congratulations, World - here is another power couple from hell.
Another important news item that has gone unreported - Chelsea Clinton had a baby girl! Poor kid, to be born into that cesspool of a family!
Currently trending at #2 is James Franco - because he "finds dating difficult as he is 'shy'". Spare me, please!
Trending at #3 is Victoria Beckham - because she made it on the list of the 20 most stylish brides. For reasons unknown, the list included only celebs from this and last century. As a plebeian history buff, I strongly object to the list (although not to some of the names on it).
According to the new biography of Coco Chanel, "she despised flowery perfume" - that's probably why I despise Chanel perfumes.
"Avoid dating burnout" - too late for this one.
Beyonce suffered "wardrobe malfunction" during her latest concert - ladies, this is getting soooo old and boring.
"Why Gaga's no longer blond" - who cares?
"12 cemeteries you should see before you die" - thanks, but no, thanks.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - September 19, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Ever Shabat! The weather is beautiful - a treat in our fair city.
Sniffy decided that my bed is fun and comfortable after all. George demanded "human" turkey last night, which he practically inhaled - should I notify Empire that their cold cuts are beloved by cats?
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual.
The latest celebrity to publish a picture book - Keith Richards! So now we have extra strange and bohemian types wondering our floor, muttering "F--k, where is it?!"
A book by Nietzsche was discovered by yours truly about 3 weeks ago in the biography section and was put into a pile of books improperly shelved. A genius colleague of mine decided to re-shelve it in the history section, where I re-discovered it this week. If I find it again on our floor, this book will have an official title of The Wondering German.
Currently trending at #6 is free coffee - it looks like some outfits actually do offer free coffee this Friday!
"J. Lo's python 'Barbie Outfit'" - Jennifer, don't even try, as nothing will beat your green dress!
"A look back at the Spears-Federline marriage" - why?!!
"Hilary Clinton didn't feel independent until age 53" - America, on the other hand, is forever saddled with the legacy of her dear hubby's presidency.
"9 ways to kill time waiting in the iPhone 6 line" - or you can just go home and get a life.
"Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber cook dinner together" - really hope they did not poison each other (or maybe I do?)
And, finally, Prince Harry helped a little girl enjoy the concert by putting her on his shoulders - the concert was during a closing ceremony for the games for the wounded vets, and the girl's father was one of those vets.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - September 15, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is rocking - perfect park weather on a workday smile emoticon Cats decided that my room is not fun anymore (unless they can destroy something) - but the sleeping is done somewhere else.
The soap dish was restored to its normal place.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent.
Aside from booze, also missing at least one plate (fate known), and one kitchen towel - fate unknown.
According to the latest issue of the Men's Health, 1 out of 10 dudes would break up with a woman is she is funnier than him (makes better jokes) - what a pathetic bunch of sore losers!
Congratulations, fellow Americans, we got ourselves a new Miss America! She hails from our own Empire State, and, judging by her name, is Russian.
Currently trending at #3 is Kendall Jenner and her "adventures during New York Fashion week". I don't think I really want to know the details of those "adventures".
Trending at #4 is Loch Ness Monster - who was "allegedly spotted in England". No alleged spotting of English government's resolve to fight the real monsters on their soil.
"Your thyroid could be blamed for weight gain" - duh!!
"10 male fashion archetypes" - sign of our bizarre and sad times.
"Prague has become an absinthe capital" - the lovers of absinthe, start packing your bags!
"Kate Winslet shines in hourglass look" - um, kudos to her for looking human and not plastic?
"Justin Bieber Gets Cozy in Las Vegas with Selena Gomez" - what the heck does that mean? Sharing a stool by the slot machine?
"Beyonce debuts hair extensions during Parisian lunch with Jay Z and Blue Ivy amid rumors that she is pregnant with her second child" - oh, wow! New hair! Lunch in Paris with hubby and child! Pregnancy rumors! A total overload, dude!
And, finally, Happy 30th Birthday to Prince Harry!
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh mug that Nat gave me for my Birthday.

MORNING UPDATE - September 9, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather finally got to a perfectly enjoyable point.
Both cats decided that it's not worth it to take advantage of an early breakfast, and opted for sleeping in instead.
Yesterday had a customer who was looking for books for 3- and 5-year old boys with "strong female lead in them".
Debating it it's actually worth the money to restock on booze.
Google reminded me that today is Tolstoy's birthday - thanks, Brin, because otherwise I would have gone the whole day completely oblivious of such an important fact.
Princeton, Harvard, and Yale are considered to be the best colleges in America (in that order) - well, if you take into account the number of liberal brown shirts teaching there, I can only conclude that the people compiling the list recently visited Colorado.
Diet high in protein will lower your blood pressure - not paying attention to any news regarding benefits and/or harm of any kind of food will have the same effect.
"Reese Witherspoon Talks Female Empowerment" - "total liberation" to think that it's OK, I was meant to sleep with all those guys. Any other meaning of empowerment, aside from going naked, having sex, having abortion, or being a proud lesbian?
"Taylor Swift's wet and wild Rolling Stone cover" - another asset of "empowerment" , I guess.
"Kendall Jenner hits the runway" - man, I thought she already did that.
"Megan Fox and her shorter hairstyle hit red carpet" - what's with all those "hitting" of the carpets and runways and such?
Ray Nagin began his prison sentence today - hopefully, Obama, Holder, Rangel, Pelosi, and a long string of others to follow.
"Kim Kardashian completes Ice Bucket challenge on Ellen show" - I am so happy that I don't watch the Ellen show.
"Beyonce shows bikini body with Jay Z and parents in Cannes" - finally! The moment we have all been waiting for! Our summer would have been so bereft without looking at this touching family portrait!
"Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are exclusive" - yea, whatever.
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - September 8, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather decided to go into the Indian Summer mode, and, this being New York, the results are not the best.
Sniff continues to nominate himself as a mashgiah for every cleaning, which necessitates isolating him for his own good. George can't figure out if he likes minced turkey or not.
Still did not restock my booze - an embarrassment to my un-missed Russian heritage. 
Crazy upstairs is up to the usual.
Currently trending at #3 is Kourtney Kardashian - and again for reasons entirely unknown.
Jennifer Aniston is at #6 - because "she loves Kim Kardashian". Then why is Kourtney trending? What am I missing - aside from the obvious, of course.
Portia De Rossi is at #9 - because she "and Ellen are staying together". Whew! The load off our collective psyche!
"Cost of renouncing U.S. citizenship about to soar" - why?!! Let those bastards go and not come back!! Let them also take all the America-hating swine still polluting our country with them! This is the only cause, aside from Military, for which I would gladly be taxed!
"Mystery virus strikes kids" - nicely done! Let's allow more illegals over our borders and see what else they might infect us with.
"Insider tip for getting into a buzzy restaurant" - oh, for heaven's sake! Just go into the less "buzzy" one!
"Shoes that look good on every woman" - OK, that one I never heard before.
Among the 10 most visited cities in Europe, Istanbul is at #7 - why?!!
"Kale salad with peaches" - shudders!
"What you should - and should't - add to coffee" - really? There are actually the guidelines along those lines?
A pair of deer crossed the Golden Gate Bridge - I wonder if they wanted to march across San Fran, demanding Pelosi's recall as the complete embarrassment for the city.
"Selena Gomez departs Toronto without Justin Bieber" - no comment.
And, finally, after a whole bunch of speculation and discussion of the minute details, it's official - Kate is pregnant again, and Georgie is due to become a big brother.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - August 29, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is great for an August day in NY.
Sniff might have missed me because he sleeps on my bed every night despite my kicking habits. George decided that he does not like chicken anymore - of fish, for that matter.
There is an "ABBA Transportation" van outside of my window - someone has a nice sense of humor. 
Big news!! Brangelina is finally married!!! Mazal Tov! That has been soooooo long coming!
Trending at #8 is Kanye West - because he and Kim "Epitomize Glamour, Celebrity". They also epitomize the stupidity of our generation.
"Miley Cyrus's date for VMAs turns himself in to police" - I almost feel bad for her.
Texans like everything as big as their state - "a Texas brewery releases a container (of beer) that takes at least two people to carry, and even more to finish off."
"10 essentials for turning a dorm room into a home" - number one essential would be the absence of college kids.
"Kendall Jenner drops last name for career" - " I want to be taken seriously". Yea, nothing aids in being taken seriously as parading around mostly naked.
"The Audacity of Taupe" - our dear comrade Hussein showed up in strange looking "light-colored summer suit". THAT immediately grabbed everyone's attention!
Bieber keeps professing love to Selena, and she, in turn, went with him to Canada - to meet his mommy?
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - August 25, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! It's hot, but not humid - not bad for August in NY.
This morning missed an opportunity of taking a great shot of our cats waiting for their breakfast - the scene was simply priceless.
Still did not refill our booze supplies.
Currently trending at #6 is Solange Knowles - because, after "rocking" the red carpet at the MTV VMAs, she was "MIA". Well, duh - Jay Z was there! I guess she did not feel like having another public fight.
Selena Gomez is at # 2 - for reasons unknown; but it looks like her fans are called "Selenators". This generation really scares me sometimes...
Scott Disick is at # 8 - because he "Insists He Is No Longer A Boozing Creeper". Look at the previous statement.
Kris Jenner is at # 9 because she and her grandkids "Do San Diego Zoo". My mom also took her grandkids to the zoo, but they did not "Do It", and, for some reasons, it did not make the news.
Eva Longoria is at # 10 - because she is scheduled to appear at in the three episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. So it looks like she will take time out of her very busy schedule of campaigning for the rights of illegals and dedicate some of it to her mediocre acting.
In the news of hairdos is Justin Timberlake - who "shows highlights".
Latest wardrobe malfunction - Nicki Minaj at the above-mentioned VMAs.
"Police helicopter catches marriage proposal" - man, that must have been some proposal! Really hope she said "yes".
"Easy, foolproof mayo recipe" - go to the store, get a jar of Hellman's on sale.
"Justin Bieber was reportedly caught up in the shooting at Chris Brown's pre-VMA party" - since no one was really hurt at that bash, the world of music suffered tremendous loses.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - August 22, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is more August-like than last week's, but still decent.
George is sitting on my window and observing the local fauna. Sniff decided that this particular pastime merits his attention, and tried to give George claustrophobia attack, so was promptly dispatched to another window, where he is happily observing the said fauna.
The crazy upstairs is alive and operational.
It was recently brought to my attention that while I was away, Baby Bro hosted one of his friends with whom they celebrated the above mentioned friend's 21st birthday. As a result, we have practically no booze in the house - that must have been some celebration.
Only one TV was operational - on some kind of Spanish channel and muted!! Yippeee!!!
Currently trending at #2 is thigh bone on Mars - the remains of mysterious alien civilization? Could they possibly be older than ours so Al Sharpton can stop bloviating about all the supposed superior contributions of Africa and Africans?
Kendall Jenner is at #6 - as she and her dear sister Kylie "went all Western" for some kind of magazine shoot and launched "New Shoe, Clothing Collection". I guess after little darlings went half-naked and sans unmentionables few weeks ago, it's really hard to top that one.
Mariah and Nick officially split up - please get your hankies ready!
"Nickii Minaj breaks Miley Cyrus video record" - as Baby Bro likes to say, that is just all kinds of wrong.
Speaking of which, "Dominican Republic bans Miley Cyrus concerts" - because "she undertakes acts that go against morals and customs." Take that, liberal idiots, who keep accusing our country of being controlled by moral police.
Chilean sea bass is the latest supposedly healthy food that turns out to be "not good for you" - yea, yea, yea...whatever.
"August 25 is a great day for cheap flights" - good to know. Aruba, here I come!
"Justin Bieber finally shaves his 'stache" - wow, where was I when he grew one?!!
Coffee this morning in disposable cup from the bagel shop next to the blissfully almost quite laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - August 15, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is still pretty decent - especially for August. Sniff is sleeping in the cat house, and George is sleeping on my bed. 
Thanks to the geniuses that wired our apartment I can either use a coffeemaker or a microwave - but not both at the same time.
USA "lost its top spot as the most visited country" to - drum roll please - France! I guess people really like to see what muslim occupation can do to a somewhat civilized nation. Russian Federation is at # 9 - the uncontrollable desire to see what an insane asylum looks like?
"Trump's other daughter" - hell, Marla's daughter is 20?!! I feel so damn old!
"How to julienne veggies" - oh, for pete's sake! You get a gadget and you do it!
"Scuba from your computer" - no, thank you; I would rather scuba in Aruba.
"Get the most from vacation" - oh, give me a break! It's a vacation!!! Just enjoy!
"Can hunger be turned on and off?" - yea, if you eat, you are not hungry; if you don't eat, you are!
"Could video games be used to fight depression?" - I think that's already a given.
"Plane trouble forces Kerry to fly commercial" - ah, poor John! At least he reduced his carbon footprint, if not his disastrous impact on the global politics.
Bieber was "seen" attending Bible study with Selena - wow! I guess now I have seen everything.
Coffee this morning in my US Virgin Islands mug.

MORNING UPDATE - August 14, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is unusually beautiful for NY August - if this is global cooling, I am taking it!
Sniff was running around the house as if possessed by the devil, and is now taking a noisy bath on my bed. George is doing the same thing, but quietly.
The crazy upstairs is relentless in performance of her routine, although my sis claims that the said individual moved into her building as someone was vacuuming there for about 2 hours nonstop.
Baby Bro warned me in advance, claiming that seeing page 3 of the latest Glamour is guaranteed to raise my hackles. All it did raise was my incredulity - as page 3 proofed that Hillary Clinton is still very much a feminist icon.
And speaking of Hillary - according to the new revelations from the Secret Service, being assigned to her is "a form of punishment" and "no worse assignment". Well, once a menace, always a menace.
Currently trending at #1 is Valerie Bertinelli - for reasons completely unknown and shrouded in mystery.
Scott Disick is at #2 - because he is "Obsessed With Burgher King's Chicken Fries". Wait - he was not running around naked anywhere and/or did not sleep with anyone's wife, and he jumps to #2? I guess food preferences are also extremely important.
Halle Berry is at #10 as today is her 48th birthday - come on, give the birthday girl the first spot!
"King of Pop dethroned" - "Nicki Minaj tops Michael Jackson". This if from the "scary and scarier" files.
"North West makes her modeling debut" - as I said before, having her parents is also "a form of punishment".
"Why Khloe Kardashian Might Fire Kris Jenner as Her Manager" - who dives a rat's tail about this one?
"OJ Simpson Has Kim Kardashian Pics On His Prison Wall" - I really don't want to know more.
"Cups you can compost - or eat" - enviros are on the warpath again.
And, finally, Kate was "spotted" while she was "hunting" for the bargain clothes for Georgie - no such news regarding parteigenosse Michelle.
Coffee this morning in my glass Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug from LA.

Monday, June 01, 2015

MORNING UPDATE - July 6. 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! It's hot, but still not as bad as in New York. Snow looks like she is enjoying the grass way too much. Last week I finally meat Chippy.
Prince William is currently trending at # 1 because he, together with wife and bro "kicked off Tour de France". At least they are easy on the eyes, unlike Some Who Should Not Be Named.
Malia Obama is at # 4 - for reasons unknown.
L.A. "unveils first pot farmer's market" - good for them! Of course, it had to be "farmer's market", or it won't be in the true traditions of L.A.
"Pope Francis: Not working on Sundays is good" - well, with all due respect, duh!!
"Kardashain style face-off" - "Kris Jenner raids her daughter's closet". Ah, grow up already!
"Smoldering" "Simpson ties the knot" - finally! Mazal Tov!
"College towns to retire to" - and be surrounded by all the stinking liberal tenured profs?!! Thanks, but no, thanks.
"Diego Maradona angry at refs" - dude, at your age, watch your blood pressure!
In honor of July 4th, Selena Gomez broke up with Justin Bieber once again - this is getting beyond soap opera status.
Coffee in the M & M mug, which was staring at me all this time.

MORNING UPDATE, June 30, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! It's hot again. Snow jumped over the neighbor's fence - to eat her rival's Friskies?
Idiot-proof stuff eludes me - after being unable to remember how to make videos on my camera, switched the phone to camera mode. Now have to take pictures with camera only as still don't remember how to switch to video, and use the phone for videos only as unable to figure out how to switch back to pictures.
Currently trending at # 1 is Kendall Jenner - because it looks like she was drinking at her sister's Khloe birthday party. Big deal - at least she was dressed.
"Choosing the perfect brush for your hair" - you go to the drug store or Target, look at brushes, get the cheapest one, and you are done. You don't need a whole article on this!
Jessica Simpson was "sizzling" again - please, save it for the winter! Too effin hot right now!
"Uproar over Hilary Clinton's speaking fees" - just the fees? Not her deeds and not the fact that she is still not in jail and is invited to speak at college campuses instead?
"Challenges for Washington's legal pot industry" - what effin challenges? Just run a bunch of ads in New York to the tune of "come and smoke MJ legally". Challenges, my foot.
"Celebs who defy aging" - oh, please! Find me "real people" who defy aging, then we will talk.
"Delectable desserts across the U.S." - did parteigenosse Michelle approve of any of them?
If you have an extra 25 mil stashed somewhere, you can buy Heidi Klum's LA house.
And, finally, it looks like I totally mastered the art of using the coffee maker.

MORNING UPDATE - June 29, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Happy Rosh Chodesh! Ladies, please make sure to rest smile emoticon
The heat wave is on. Snow is snoozing in the shade.
Just saw a hummingbird!
Currently trending at # 2 is Hilary Clinton - because Time Magazine did a special on her with the following subtitle: "Since childhood, the former Secretary of State's Methodist beliefs have inspired public service and private devotion". I don't think they were dipping into half-legal MJ; this smells of heroin addiction - or possible lobotomy that a lot of progressives seem to have gotten.
And speaking of MJ - "Washington braces for serous pot shortage". Oh, come on, people! Just grow some more - or get from other states!
More in drug news: "Christie makes war on drugs personal" - I guess his diet has gone to his head ( and not in a good way). Just give the guy a donut and point out the really important issues.
"Kim K.'s plunging dress" - what else is new? When she does wear something that would be approved by the baptist ladies, then it will be truly shocking.
"Beyonce, Jay-Z flush Bieber mugshot at concert" - I don't even want to delve into this one.
"The essence of the modern bath" - uh, it's a place where you - how to put it delicately - bathe?
"Study: Kate Middleton Has a Perfect Nose" - you actually need to conduct a whole study on this one?!!

MORNING UPDATE - June 26, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's really hot outside, but not so bad in the shade. Snow is sunning herself while a cute kitten came to claim her breakfast.
My nephew served as a volunteer animal control representative recently by being asked to remove a chameleon from a neighbor's apartment.
Goodreads continues to entertain - their latest suggestion is Essential Manners for Men based on - guess what? The fact that I read The Prince!
Currently trending at # 1 is Kanye West - because he is still wearing a necklace in honor of his daughter's first birthday and because he avoided doing really stinky community service by teaching fashion at LA Trade Technical College. Nice move, Kanye!
Trending at # 3 is George Stephanopoulos - for winning "ABC's 'Chief Anchor Crown". I don't know which one is more pathetic - the award or the winner.
Paris Hilton nearly missed her flight because of the abundance of her luggage - breaking piece of world news that one is.
"Right, wrong way to tie laces" - the only phrase that comes to mind is "have a lobotomy".
"Red wine that pairs perfectly with pizza" - it's wine and it's pizza! Just enjoy it - without turning into the Crane brothers!
Katy Perry just shot to the first place because she demonstrated at least 3 times that she loves America. How? By promoting Hillary, by calling Biden "Q-T" on the Instagram, and probably by supporting Obama - I think America can do without this tender loving.
"Inside Kim Kardashian's romantic honeymoon" - spare me the details.
No news on the Bieber front.
And, finally, I sort of figured out how to use the coffee machine.

MORNING UPDATE - June 25, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's getting hotter and hotter outside. Snow nibbled on her breakfast and left the rest for her competition.
I got a little scared when I thought my phone stopped taking pictures - then I realized that it is just totally confused about date and time, hence is just storing pictures out of order. Reginald, on the other hand, is not confused at all. He is firmly planted in NY, supplying with me Brooklyn weather reports.
Currently trending at # 1 is Solange Knowles - because she is engaged to someone named Alan Ferguson. Congratulations! Let's hope Beyonce will not beat him up in a elevator one of these days.
The creator of cronut came up with a new summer treat - quick! Hide it from parteigenosse Michelle! Especially if you consider that her hubby just escaped her clutches go get himself a burrito.
"Gosling's heartthrob road" - got to really delve into this one as the reason for his being a heartthrob still escapes me.
Queen Elizabeth visited the iron throne from the Game of Thrones - but refused to "try it on for size". I sort of don't blame her.
"Do we really need a law to ban tiger selfies?" - according to our dear NY state legislators, we apparently do. They are trying to protect people from stupidity - but who will protect us from the stupidity of the public servants?
And speaking of so-called public servants - in honor of the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act Boehner, Pelosi, McConnell and Read had a "Kumbaya on The Hill". Well, at least once in a blue moon they are useful as we all got a good laugh out of this one.
"Tips for buying a new TV" - who in the world is still buying TVs?!
And, finally, Bieber was spotted buying expensive jewelry for Selena -whatever rocks their boat.

MORNING UPDATE - June 24, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The sun is shining once again. Was trying to figure out whose cat was eating Snow's food - turned out it was next door neighbor's ( I guess our Friskies is tastier).
Got medium eggs instead of large after trying to figure out why the same 18 eggs cost differently - language barriers.
Currently trending at # 1 is Bruce Jenner - because he got highlights!
Trending at # 7 is Nick Cannon - because he and Mariah Carey might be "headed for divorce". Why? Because of her younger selfie? And, more importantly, who wants to know?
J. Lo. refused to remain heartbroken and was spotted with a new flame - Maxim Chmerkovskiy. I wonder if their dancing styles really mesh well.
Hayden Panettiere is the latest celebrity to go on a Babymoon - a nice vacation in the middle of pregnancy. I wonder how many plain mortal preggos would like to follow suit.
"Obama encouraging family-friendly work policies" - trying to figure out how many of his underpaid female staffers are working on this one.
"Michelle Obama won't pursue politics" - on behave of my country let me just say "Phew!".
"Pub-crawling through the Magic Kingdom" - ah, come on, people! Magic Kingdom is fun even when you are solo and sober (speaking from personal experience)!
"Selena Gomez: Helping Justin Bieber Become His Old Sweet Self Again" - good luck with that one!
And, finally, "Prince George Beats Kate Middleton for Title of Best-Dressed Royal" - I guess Kate went the same route all mothers do and played "dress the dolly" with her first child to perfection.

MORNING UPDATE - June 23, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is nice and hot. Snow managed to get up close and personal with her favorite human.
Going to a library that's located inside a community center is an interesting experience.
Tom Hanks is currently trending at # 1 because he is producing a new film that will be directed by Meg Ryan - I guess they missed each other since the Mail.
Mariah Carey is at # 2 - as she was "accused of tweeting 1997 photo as present-day selfie". Ah, give her a break! So, she wanted to delight her fans, big deal.
Sofia Vergara is at # 5 - because her friendship with Ellen is making Portia jealous. Um, Portia, if your side is to be believed, people are born straight or otherwise, so, no need to be jealous.
Michael Douglas was "spotted" in King David hotel in Jerusalem this weekend, as he and his wife were celebrating their son's Bar Mitzvah - drat, the festivities were only a bus ride away!
"Sizzling Jessica Simpson" - I hope nobody got burned.
"How to keep cool without air conditioning" - by getting rid of all the environmentalists and their idiocy.
"Celebrities and their pregnancy cravings" - most of the listed ones claim to crave fruits, veggies, and fish. Give me a break!
It's been five years since Jon and Kate split up, but they still "hurl insults on each other" - class all the way.
North West had a first birthday "bash" that included Ferris wheel and a concert stage - I wonder what kind of enjoyment a one year old would derive from this nonsense.
And, finally, "The Guy Who Married Kate Middleton Turns 32" and his grandma gave him a helicopter for this occasion - happy birthday, Will!

MORNING UPDATE - June 22, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is beautiful - it's nice, sunny, and breezy, and not a cloud in sight.
Snow rejected chicken for reasons unknown, but happily consumed the yogurt that was spiced up with Super Snack by my darling niece and later pronounced moldy. 
Currently trending at # 2 is Matt Damon - who would not be back for the next installment of the Bourne saga. The said sorry tidings are indeed a stain on the history of art - together with the entire Bourne saga.
"Best ways to eat lobster" - um, the way you like it?
Pope excommunicated Sicilian mafia - how about Nancy Pelosi?
"Why extreme diets are fundamentally flawed" - you actually need an explanation for that one?!
"Jessica Simpson Wears Little Black Dress, Continues Having Toned Calves" - a load off our chests! Since she "continues having toned calves", the Earth can continue spinning around the sun.
Bieber and Gomez had another date night - once again paging local psychiatric help.
"Buckingham Palace defends spending 4m (pounds) on refurbishing Kate and Will's flat" - seriously?!! Big deal! What's like a little weekend date night for Hussein and Michelle!

MORNING UPDATE - June 18, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The temperatures are still climbing. Snow is sunning herself and ignoring the birds that are singing around her.
Currently trending at # 1 is Jenny McCarthy - because she and Donnie Wahlberg "Talk Wedding Plans". Does that translate into another book?
Catherine Zeta-Jones is trending at # 2 - because Michael Douglas admitted that "he took her for granted". Admit it to her, you moron, not to the reporters.
"What spoiled Kim Kardashian's honeymoon" - who gives a flying banana?
"Halle Berry sparkles in curve-hugging dress" - mighty empowering.
"For peace of mind consumers should look for the "USDA Organic" seal (on body care products), a specialist says" - the said specialist can take any and all "USDA Organic" seals from food and body care products and stick it where the sun does not shine.
Mike Sorrentino, aka The Situation of the Jersey Shore fame, got arrested for fighting with his brother at the family tanning salon - interesting family squabbles.
"One man's quest for fast-food perfection" - entertaining date he would make.
Chanel No. 5 has 80 ingredients, "including one that blossoms in France only three weeks a year" - is that the one that gives it a distinct stink that produces headaches?
"Prices for US consumers rise significantly" - ya think?!!! Where were you for the past 5 years?!
"Uruguay national team's dulce de leche shipment confiscated by Brazilian authorities" - this takes the term "bureaucratic stupidity" to a whole new level.
And, finally, Kate is scheduled to meet a woman who worked as a decoder with her paternal grandmother during the WWII - I really envy the Brits sometimes! The granny of their princess was actively involved in the defeat of the Nazis; the grandmother of our prez was a commie! Plus, to add insult to injury, the mother of our so-called first lady supposedly never served cake to her kids!
Coffee this morning in the other flowery mug.