The Best Motto

Gd, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannon change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

You woke up this morning - Congratulations! You got another chance!

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

MORNING UPDATE - May 30, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! Happy Rosh Chodesh Sivan! Ladies, I know that as it's Friday, my urging to take it easy today would fall on death ears - but still remind your hubbies that they owe you presents smile emoticon
The weather is magnificent! George was very active this morning - after demanding fresh food he played with his tail, and then continued to complain for a while. It took about ten minutes to figure out that he was demanding to be petted on my bed. Sniff is enjoying fresh air and giving stink eye to the local barbarians.
Yesterday had to tidy up after someone who apparently decided to master French while sitting in the cafe.
The crazy upstairs is alive and well.
Daniel Radcliffe debuts in romantic comedy - considering the general quality of this genre lately, plus the quality of HP movies, I am not running to watch this particular cinematic offering.
"Best fried chicken in U.S." - argggg!!! Stop teasing me!!!!
Patrick Stewart turned out to be a "soccer fanatic" - as the revelations go concerning fave celebs, that is just totally tame and enjoyable.
"J. Lo.'s steamy new video" - did she ever produce anything none-steamy?
"Why bacon smells so good" - because I can't have it!!
"Zuckerberg, wife donate $120M to Calif. schools" - at least they are throwing their own money down the drain.
"Measles cases rising" - gee, what a surprise! Between the brilliant celebs who advocate against vaccination and the constant influx of illegals, you still have to analyze why this happened?!!
"House backs GOP plan on school lunches" - thank you once again, parteigenosse Michelle! School lunches on the level of Congressional debate - simply inspired!
Justin Bieber's new song "Looking For You" is about.....Selena! Wow, what a surprise!
And, finally, Kimye "have landed in yet another European city rich with history and culture" - ah, culture! Something that both of them desperately lack.
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - May 28, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's cool and cloudy once again - no complains here. Cats are asleep. Earlier Sniff tried to eat some of my melted butter, and George was licking the defrosting chicken.
Yesterday had to venture into the parts of Brooklyn that I don't usually venture into - and remembered once again why I don't, well, venture there; and yes, hipster Billy Bourgh is on the list as well.
The news that are still on everyone's mind - Kanye and Kim wed over the weekend, and embarked on their honeymoon! The Post summarized it the best, ending with "The republic still stands."
Currently trending at #1 is Leah Remini who claimed that her family is stronger since leaving Scientology - duh!
Trending at #2 is Robert Pattinson - who revealed whenever he is still in contact with Kristen Stewart. Judging by the fact that that tidbit went to #2, some people are still interested in this.
"Qatar Urges Tourists to Dress Modestly When Coming to Town for the World Cup" - aside from the obvious question as to who is idiotic enough to go to Qatar for anything, I would like to suggest a counter-proposal: could we please "urge" the visitors to our shores to bath and use deodorant?
Some enterprising dude ordered himself a Starbucks drink which included 60 shots of espresso and would have set him back for almost 55 bucks - how sleepy was he?!!
Justin Bieber "hooked up" with some kind of Victoria's Secret model named Adriana Lima - a perfect combination of beauty and brains.
Elle photoshoped Kate Upton's armpits - one of the many reasons I cancelled my subscription to Elle.
And, finally, there is an online quiz that will tell you exactly how big of a fan of Jennifer Lawrence are you - just in case you are interested.
Coffee this morning in my glass mug from LA's Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.

MORNING UPDATE - May 23, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is still cloudy and strange, but bearable.
George thinks that the only reason I enter my room is to get in bed with him to pet and snuggle. Sniff, meanwhile, just sits by the door and looks at me with an almost adoring expression.
Two TVs were blessedly silent, and the third on had Telemundo on - on one hand, just a meaningless chatter; on the other hand - in freaking Spanish.
Meanwhile, in the parking lot, there was a huge white SUV with plates that read something like MAKEMAGIC and two oldish bearded Jews inside.
Currently trending at #2 is Gwen Stefani - because she took her son to some kind of baby class. Making sure her progeny develops brains that are absent in parents?
Trending at #4 is Jennifer Lawrence - because she admitted to bringing Slim Jims to the Oscars. My question is - where the heck was she hiding them?
Trending at #10 is someone called Katharine McPhee - because she filed for a divorce. Considering the commonality of celeb divorces, I totally understand why it's only on the 10th place.
"How a great vacation can change your life" - you actually had to write a whole article about it?!
"Completely giving up plastic products sounds great for the environment, but the reality is different" - duh!!!
"Foods that are good for you - and the planet" - oh, hell, here we go again!
"Man takes a moose to the coffee shop" - very original (although the article claims that it's normal in Canada).
"Using ancient myths to help modern warriors heal" - how about privatizing VA instead?
A huge turtle crushed wedding ceremony in St. Croix - but this wedding crusher was more than welcome.
The latest on Bieber is not to be repeated for the small children and the faint of heart.
The Queen, Will, and Kate will travel to France for the 70th Anniversary of the D-Day - at least one head of state who actually wore the uniform during the war and assisted in the war efforts.
Coffee this morning in the disposable cup from the usual overpriced place.

MORNING UPDATE - May 21, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's gotten cloudy outside, but still not bad.
George consumed some onion skins; Sniff loves hot foods - he consumed spicy sauce off a piece of beef, and ignored the beef itself.
The kid that does not like his nanny manifested his displeasure yet again.
Yet another customer expressed her displeasure at the absence of Allegiant in soft cover - followed by a five minute lecture of how books are so expensive.
Currently trending at #2 is Malia Obama - because her mommy warned the public that her daughter will be driving this summer. Considering how much damage her parents are inflicting, I predict a serious raise in insurance premiums.
Khloe Kardashian is trending at #8 - because she went to Universal with her boyfriend and posed for pictures with Marvel characters. As usual, earth-shattering.
"Rethinking six 'bad' carbs" - how about not listening to any of this moronisms to begin with?
"Study: Climate Change threatens 6 US Landmarks" - fact: climate change specialists are wreaking havoc on US economy.
Kim Kardashian just jumped to #9 with her pre-wedding diet, which somehow includes ice cream and pasta - did we just move to Mauritania?
"Lea Michele sheds good girl image in sultry video" - how extremely original of her.
"Justin Bieber goes shirtless" - another episode of extreme originality.
Coffee this morning in my Get a Grip mug.

MORNING UPDATE - May 20, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is simply fabulous! Kitties decided to ambush me by the shower door - what precisely they needed, though, still remains a mystery. And yesterday they both run to greet me after work - which more than made up for the absence of cold beer.
Yesterday had to deal with a customer who demanded to see the summer reading list.
"Kimye Wedding countdown: a Look Back at Kanye West' Old Flames" - spare me both, please!
"What a Godzilla expert thinks about the new film" - there is such a thing as Godzilla expert? Wow, live and learn!
"Horoscope inspired trips" - gullible moron alert.
Charlize Theron is officially romantically involved with Sean Penn - paging local psychiatric hotline.
"China bans Windows 8 on government computers" - just because they can.
A "transit nerd" took his girl on the tour of Manhattan underground in order to propose - very romantic.
Speaking of romance, Justin Bieber and Paris Hilton "are not banging" - phew! What a load off!
And, finally, Vogue was talking about Kate Upton and the "return of the bosom"; return of the brains and class - not so much.
Coffee this morning in my wavy glass from the Amaretto set.

MORNING UPDATE - May 16, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's cloudy and cold once again - but as long as it's not muggy and hot, I am OK with it.
George and Sniff are hibernating; Mr. Hamilton wakes up occasionally to complain about the freshness of his food, and Mr. Sniffles keeps attacking my bubble wrap.
It recently came to me that crazy upstairs probably thinks of me as crazy downstairs as I tend run the shredder in my bedroom.
Yesterday a customer was trying to explain to me what autobiography is - as in, if he is looking for an autobiography of a certain person, the book should be authored by that person.
Currently trending at #1 is Shannen Doherty - because she addressed "Jason Priestly Diva Claims in Memoir"; oh, the heartbreak of every single 90210 fan who loved Brenda and Brandon!
Justin Bieber is only at #9, with the first news item titled "Justin Bieber responds to robbery accusation" - I guess all his other achievements were not enough.
Kim and Kanye are scheduled to hold their wedding reception on the 24th of this month, in some kind of fort in Florence - Italians, we will keep your mafia! You can keep Kimye - pretty please!
"Common Core called 'Satan's handiwork'" - well, it's not really Satan, just his disciples.
Cheese is the most shoplifted food in the world!
If you have a little cash to invest in real estate, the original Dracula Castle in Transylvania is up for sale.
And, finally, Kate and Will are scheduled to visit Scotland, which "holds special place in their hearts" as they met while studying there.
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - May 13, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! This is the first report that I am producing on my new computer - thank you, Baby Bro! You are simply the best brother in the whole wide world!
The weather is almost appropriate for the middle of May - enjoying every single drop of it.
George is the almost undisputed king of the cat house and the air conditioner box. Sniff deserves a huge round of applause - he managed to get out from under the sink cabinet all on his own yesterday! And today he played a mashgiah to our super.
Yesterday was assigned to organizing the chess section - which exercise proved that the chess aficionados are just as much the swine as the rest of our customers.
Currently trending at #1 is Bruce Jenner - because he sent flowers for his ex for the Mother's Day! Aww, how delightful! Especially considering how wonderful the kiddies turned out...
In other news from the upper echelons of our society - Solange Knowles beat up her dear brother in law in an elevator, after which the loving sisters had a split, after which Solange went over her Instagram and purged the images of Beyonce from it.
In related story - the list of the 5 hotels that "won't leak your elevator footage" .
In unrelated news - a lone wolf in Oregon, who seems to have left his pack in 2011, may have finally found himself a mate, in search of whom he traveled thousands of miles. Mazal Tov, oh-no-longer-lonely wolf from Oregon!
No news for Bieber today.
Kate has officially cut her hair!
And, finally, in the last year, Americans topped the French as the wine consumers - I think I might have contributed a bit to that one.
Coffee this morning in my Life is Delicious mug.

MORNING UPDATE - May 9, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! I know that for most of you it's TGIF, but for me it's just a day off smile emoticon
The weather is still rainy, but not too bad.
Sniff found himself a new perch, of which is he very possessive - of course, George did not discover it yet; I see many a battle ahead. 
Crazy upstairs woke up pretty late today, but still performed her usual routine.
Last week saw a nice guy perusing romance section in the library - I wonderwhy.
Shailene Woodley is drawing feminists' ire because she recently claimed that she is not one, because she likes men - good for you, Shailene. I don't like men, and I am still not a feminist.
Currently trending at #1 is Mark Wahlberg - because he is "set to produce reality pilot about MIT grads". I assume their job prospects and the reason for it would not be discussed.
Trending at # 8 is Jenny McCarthy - because she "clarifies her stance on vaccination". Why this woman is not arrested on the charged of public endangerment is beyond me - as well as trying to figure out how any parent could have listened to her sage advice.
Among the top bestselling products are Star Wars, Lipitor, Rubic's Cube, Harry Potter, I Phones, I Pads, Corolla, Michael Jackson, Play Stations, and Mario Bros. - interesting mix; quiet fascinating.
"Gisele wows in hemp gown" - because she has to prove to us, again and again, how important it is to be "environmentally friendly". The only information omitted was how much electricity is burned in order to photograph her in her always environmentally friendly threads.
Morissey was "mobbed by fans in concert" - I sincere hope none of them ate meat products prior to hugging their idol.
Mel Brooks admitted that he would not have been able to shoot Blazing Saddles today because of political correctness - which is beyond amusing as the whole idea of the movie was to make fun of racists.
"A new study links a wife's happiness to how her husband helps out around the house" - WOW! You needed a whole study for this?!!
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - May 8, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's overcast and rainy outside once again, but not terrible - especially if I don't have to go to work today smile emoticon
The battle for the supremacy of the cat house is raging on. Also, Baby Bro had a brilliant idea of loaning George to CPA - if people can take care of him for about two weeks, they can proof that they are fit parents. Sniff, meanwhile, just entertained himself with a crumpled piece of foil that he liberated from the recycling pile.
The ongoing entertainment in my life - people periodically hinting and/or telling me that as I have no kids, I don't understand something, or don't get it, or can't really have an opinion on it. I can't really call it being smug-married - so, Bridget aficionados, please get me a proper term smile emoticon
Yesterday got a customer who could not find one single author whose last name begins with a letter F in the young readers section.
Currently trending at #3 is Leo DiCaprio - because he bought an apartment in Greenwich Village; well, he is going to fit right in with all the other envirowacos residing there; I am just wondering at how often he is going to take a subway as opposed to riding in a limo.
Trending at #8 is Willow Smith - because of some "controversial photos". Nice going, what can I say.
"Kim K. says the racism is alive" - of course it is! You know who tops the list, Kim? The current love of your life - despite his lowering himself to shack up with a white girl.
Jennifer Lawrence claims that fame made her rude - OK, Jennifer, acknowledging the problem is the first step.
"Mother's Day gift ideas" - how about not forgetting Mother's Day?
"Why Katie Couric wants you to give up sugar" - how about Katie Couric remembers what a journalist is really supposed to do and starts candid reports on her idol in the White House and leaves our sugar consumption the hell alone?
"Cheap protein sources" - yea, the economy is getting better every day.
Justin Bieber "is in trouble again" because he got a parking ticket - OK, that is just overdoing it; parking ticket is only "trouble" for ordinary folk.
"Kutcher was.. photographed leaving The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf with two iced coffees in Studio City, Calif." - wow, I have something in common with Ashton and Mila! We all love iced coffee from Coffee Bean!
Speaking of which, coffee today in my glass Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf mug from my trip to L.A. - and, no, it was not in honor of Ashton and/or Mila.

MORNING UPDATE - May 6, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather continues to be almost appropriate for May - enjoying all we can get. 
George decided that once the cat house is his, he can safely snooze on my bed. Sniff was guarding 8 boxes of my romances, and my attempt to pet him was greeted with an attempt to bite me and a nice hiss.
The crazy upstairs is...well, she is.
The fact that it is the beginning of the month made me realize that once again I missed my Godiva freebies.
Some kind of a new chick on the FoodNetwork is claiming that after you tried the fries with aioli, you will forget ketchup - well, duh!
Why am I getting personal e-mails from Rand Paul?
Just found out yesterday that our dear parteigenosse Michelle was here, in New York, cutting the ribbon at the Met - have to give myself time to avoid the Met before the stench disappears a bit.
Taylor Swift almost lost her gown for that Met Gala to her her cat's claws - damn! And here I thought that Sniffles was a menace for destroying my Disney sheets.
Trending at #8 is Kendall Jenner - because she "documented her first Met Gala on Instagram". Longer wait to visit the Met, although little slime left by Kendall and her attempts to oversexualize herself is nothing compared to our pathetic excuse of a First Lady.
Brad Pitt is trending at #7 - because he and Angelina "will re-unite on the big screen". Well, at least they can't cheat on anyone this time.
Angry Birds are trending at #9 - because their creator "developed preschool program to promote learning through fun". The best program to promote learning is reading - and, yes, it's loads of fun!
Once again, America is one of the worst countries to be a mother in - unless, of course, you are an illegal alien (which fact was, of course, removed from the study).
Seth Rogen "is not a Belieber" - my respect for him just grew!
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug - the new version.


Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is still a tad strange for May, but much more enjoyable - so,Phil, no need to fear the assassins anymore. Rajendara K. Pacahuri, on the other hand, still needs to pipe down and clean the snow when needed.
George is still the almost undisputed king of the cat house; and he still hunts the local sparrows with the same zeal the liberals hunt the Second Amendment. Sniff attracted the local youngsters, who discovered that not only do we have two very petable cats, but that our cramped, messy apartment really is a cave of wonders - I needed that reminder! wink emoticon
Yesterday was Audrey Hepburn 85th Birthday - now, that was a beautiful, classy, and talented actress!
Today is Cinco de Maya - I am ready with my american flag and patriotic T-shirt.
Currently trending at # 1 Ozzy Osbourne - because he might be knighted. Considering how many crazy entertainers were knighted before him - yawn.
Trending at # 3 is Kid Rock - because of his work with homeless vets. Go, Kid Rock!!!
Trending at # 7 is Snoop Dog - because he debuted something "snoopodelic" in Vegas. Spare us, please!
"Kylie Jenner wows in a VERY skimpy swimsuit after parting with ...Justin Bieber!" - I can't even begin to figure out which one of these is more yuk-worthy.
And, finally, Kate likes to do her own make up - so would I, to tell the truth.
Coffee this morning in my Life Is Delicious mug.

MORNING UPDATE - May 2, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! The weather is finally looking the way it's supposed to in May.
George regains his supremacy over the cat house. Sniffy, meanwhile, is enjoying the box from the Passover seltzer.
CNN was on again, but, thankfully, the noise from the playing machines drowned the noise from the TV.
The crazy upstairs is alive and well.
The young adult novel by Kendall and Kylie Jenner officially hit the shelves!!! Run to get it! And if you desire an autographed copy, they promised to grace our place in sometime in June!!!
Currently trending at #1 is Jason Priestley - because in his new memoir he "Dishes on Shannen Doherty, Brad Pitt". OK, who in the world is interested in reading this literary offering, never mind finding out some hitherto unknown facts about Doherty or Pitt?
Isaiah Washington returns to Grey's Anatomy after 7 years - man, how old is this show already? I think it's time to move to the daytime TV, like all the other soap operas.
Study: "Faces men prefer" - they actually look at the faces?!!!
Sharon Stone looks "sexy at 56" - a great accomplishment!
Prince Harry is officially single again and "was seen in Miami getting flirty with girls" - here is to hoping he would keep his clothes on this time.
"Justin Bieber Crack-Shamed Toronto Mayor" - this is known as extreme hutzpah.
Coffee this morning in a disposable cup from the bagel shop next to the CNN-blaring laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - April 28, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is nice for now - though still got heat at night, and am not putting away the warm blanket.
Sniff looked extra surly this morning - just like OWSs, just with better hygiene. George is desperately trying to catch the sparrows outside my window.
Yesterday had to assists a drunk customer who desperately needed a book on the Intermediate English Grammar.
Currently trending at #7 is Penelope Cruz - because she turned 40! For reasons unknown, a naked picture of her with a huge snake popped up right after the birthday announcement.
Trending at #8 are Mile-high selfies - to the disappointment of men everywhere, everyone on those selfies is dressed.
Hairdo news of the day - Emma Stone. I honestly don't know what she did now, but it looks like she got bangs and streaked her hair. In my opinion, she should have just stayed a redhead.
"It's official: Beyonce and Jay Z to tour together!" - awww, how sweet!
Bieber landed in our fair city yesterday - rats! As if we don't have enough nutjobs running around loose.
And, finally, Will and Kate's third anniversary is tomorrow - man, how time flies! So, he presented her with a Cartier watch before their Australian tour; the special feature of the watch - sapphire to match her engagement ring.
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - April 27, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! The weather is just a tad strange - continued difference of 20 degrees between day and night, plus the constant threat of torrential rain and thunder - yippee. 
Happy Belated Birthday to our mom and Baby Bro! And thank you, Skype, for reminding me about my brother's, by the way - because I was so in danger of forgetting it otherwise.
There is a new potential bestseller in the market - Alicia Silverstone wrote about being a "Kind Mama", which masterpiece proved irrevocably that it's unkind to children to allow nutjobs to procreate.
Meanwhile, on the local front, our building swine made it impossible not only to go into the incinerator room, but to close the doors as well. And a few days ago someone was cooking a broth from bones one can only assume were in deep freeze since the Bush Senior Administration.
George Clooney is engaged!!! Wow! After all his explanations of why he never wants to get married! Will just have to wait and see how long this spectacle is going to last.
Currently trending at # 2 is Grumpy Cat - because she appeared on the American Idol. Color me biased, but I think she was the best looking of all the judges.
Trending at # 7 is Channing Tatum - because it's his 34th birthday. Well, considering that 34 is not a special number, I assume number 7 is OK to mention the birthday of the sexiest man alive..
"Jennifer Lopez celebrates curves on song" - considering that hers aren't all that real, I am really not all that impressed.
"Big surge in Americans renouncing their citizenship" - please, the more the merrier! Hopefully, every single liberal to follow.
"Kate Upton displays figure as she models for lingerie" - how, um, profound!
Coffee this morning in cute cup with lavender that my mom gave me for Micheloach Manot this year.

MORNING UPDATE - April 24, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is nice and sunny, if a bit windy - and the nice cycle of 20 degree difference between day and night temps will continue for at least a week.
George and Sniff got their fave perch back - temporarily, but they still enjoy it (in surprising harmony). Sniff also makes a great mashgiach- he supervised the pre-Pesach cleaning, post-Pesach cleaning, and the cleaning of the litter box.
Fauxcahontas, aka Elizabeth Warren, visited our establishment yesterday - very happy nobody was planning to measure my blood pressure after work.
Side benefit of Pesach - missed the Earth Day this year. So, even if I have to suffer from enviors' crazy policies, at least I did not have to hear their extra umph, though was still entertained by one of them yesterday.
Trending at #1 is Barbra Streisand - because it's her birthday. Well, till 120, Barbra - just please, please, please, keep the craziness and nastiness to a minimum and don't embarrass the family; we already got plenty of other candidates for that.
Trending at # 3 is Ronald McDonald - because he "got a new look, beefed-up Twitter presence". Good for Ronald!
Trending at # 5 is Heather Graham - because she "described Hollywood as 'totally sexist'". Good Morning, Heather! What were you smoking before that you did not see it?
Olivia Wilde had a baby boy - congratulations to the proud parents! Considering the hopes for the future that the crazy mommy described 2 Glamours ago, good luck to the new arrival!
"Beyonce Tops Time Magazine's 2014 '100 Most Influential People' List" - Oh, Gd help us!
And, finally, Kate "rocked" "classy cut-out dress" - people, when she shows up dressed up like Beyonce, that would be news; if she "rocked" a "classy dress", that's the usual occurrence.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug (the old design).

MORNING UPDATE - April 18, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Fourth Day of Pesach! The weather is warming up - very slowly; were are also very slowly recovering from having snow during the second seder.
Cats were enjoying their old sleeping spot yesterday - and were surprisingly cooperative about it. Now Sniff is snoozing in his usual spot that's between the radiator and the cat house, and George is hunting birds on the windowsill.
Happy Birthday to my Baby Sister!
Currently trending at #1 is Lea Michele - because she "stormed off" the set "after being called a 'Diva'". Nice way to prove that she is not.
Chelsea Clinton is pregnant - ah, what a legacy will that kid inherit!
According to the experts, the airplane food tastes bad because your sense of taste disappears at high altitude - wow, mystery solved! Airplane food is really not that suck-y!
"Groupon deal to meet Pitt" - and only for $10! Thanks, but I'll pass.
David Axelrod is to "advise Britain's Labour Party" - it looks like Brits think they did not do a sufficient damage to their country yet.
"Why it's impossible to live chemical-free" - only a complete ignoramus needs an explanation on that one.
Bieber crushed someone's party - how new and original for him.
And, finally, according to Kate, Will is not enamored with her fashion choices and recently accused her of looking like a banana in her yellow dress - Will, stick to flying and bite your tongue!
No coffee today as got no coffee maker for Pesach.

MORNING UPDATE - April 14, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Happy Erev Pesach! The weather is beautiful - kein ain hara, pooh, pooh, pooh!
Poor felines have no idea of what the heck is going on in their domain - things constantly moving around! Spaces on counters opening! Spaces on top of the fridge closing! Boxes on which you can,t sit as more boxes pile up! So, in desperation, at first they escaped to Baby Bro's bed, then decided to hunt the sparrows again, and then just ate all the food offered. Sniff, of course, had to be a constant mashgiash and make sure that everything is properly prepared for the alien invasion.
All three effin TVs were turned on CNN - at least not loud enough not to be drowned by the noise of the washers.
Good luck to my co-workers today - as we run out of kiddie Hagaddas again (and the reinforcement may not arrive in time).
Currently trending at #1 is Jennifer Aniston - because she did something silly at the MTV awards.
Trending at #2 is Mila Kunis - who "showed off her baby bump" while accepting an award. I honestly don't know which one of these is more breaking and newsworthy and deserving of the top spot.
Jay Z is trending at #9 because he and Beyonce surprised their fans at some gathering or other together with Solange - who got to #8 because of it. Basically, all three of them were "rocking it" - whatever that means.
"Key to moist Passover brisket: dried onion soup" - cheap skates and inept cooks to boot! Key to moist brisket is lots of real onions and red wine!
"IRS audits lowest in years" - unless you belong to a Tea Party group.
And, finally, Kate played a round of cricket with Will - both did it in suits, and she was wearing heels to boot!
Coffee this morning in a disposable cup from local DD.

MORNING UPDATE - April 11, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's nice a sunny outside, rain will come soon enough. Cats are still missing their best friend, and finally decided to peacefully coexist in my room. 
The latest "necessary" repairs to our building's boiler did not result in better supply of hot water - but the did result in lower water pressure.
Currently trending at #1 is Khloe Kardashian - who is "refusing to take phone calls from Lamar Odom" and is, instead, parting with a whole bunch of other men, usually preferring rappers. That's not interesting enough to be #1; 10 maybe, but not 1.
Trending at #6 is Bob Saget - who "used to change Mary Kate, Ashley Olsen's diapers on set". Really don't know what to make of it.
Trending at # 7 is Gene Simmons - who compared his band KISS to Jesus. That's a bit of an overreach, Gene.
"Americans should work less and take more vacations", like Danish; this way they would be happier - thanks for the advice, dude! Then how are we going to support millions in the Third World countries (who hate our guts), plus UN, plus Obama's 70+ per year vacations, plus pay the members of Congress (who claim that they are underpaid as it is), plus Obamacare, plus illegals?!! I mean, we got so much more responsibilities than Danish, for pete's sake!
"Top Medicare billers were big donors to Democrats" - wow, what a surprise!
"Selena Gomez Relapses on Justin Bieber" - whatever the hell that means.
And, finally, Kate beat Will "in a sailing race" - I am sure the friendship won, as they used to say in step-mama country.
Coffee this morning in my huge Winnie the Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - April 10, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is magnificent - just in time for cleaning!
Kitties are missing Baby Bro something fierce.
Yesterday had fun by ignoring an obnoxious woman as long as I could draw it out.
Currently trending at # 1 is Leo DiCaprio - because he is "to receive 'Russian Oscar'". What can I say - they deserve each other.
Trending at # 7 is Jason Segel - because he is NOT dating Katie Holmes. Katie Holmes' dating life is now only at # 7?!!
"Rolling Stone flubs Constitution tattoo on cover" - I can only assume that they thought the naked picture of Julia Louis-Dreyfus would prevent anyone to look further, and, hence, did not do any proofreading past the required Photoshop.
"Russian lawmakers want to charge (Gorbachev) with treason" - those morons have nothing better to do with their time?
Another shot at Scott Walker - he has no college diploma! Oh, Horror of Horrors!
"Justin Bieber promises 'best music ever'" - I am all agog with anticipation!
And, finally, there is a whole discussion about Kate's "symbolic LBD" - people, you need a real hobby.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - April 9, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's sunny and windy outside - probably warm, as Sniff got off the radiator and is sleeping in the cat house - from which he greeted me in the morning with his usual disdainful look. George is sleeping on Baby Bro's bed as, I think, he is beginning to miss his friend.
Yesterday a young mother came in and asked for a book on helping your child to quit the pacifier habit - as everyone around her is looking at her 2 year old and asking why she is still using it. I politely suggested to her to consign everyone's opinion to the warm basement and let her daughter be - as this is obviously her way of dealing with the arrival of a baby brother.
Currently trending at # 4 is the Cronut bakery - which, to the delight of all involved, re-opened after "mouse scare". I guess people really, really want their cronuts.
Spring dresses are trending at # 6 - I guess people are still so cold that the thought of shopping for a spring wardrobe is not a priority.
Trending at # 9 are bacon prices - because they "surge". Really? You just discovered it?! Prices on all food items "surge", thanks to the environmentalists and our dear current administration.
Daniel Craig just jumped to # 1 - for reasons unknown.
Bieber and Selena met in the recording studio because they are "friendly" - whatever.
And, finally, the whole discussion is going on as to the possibility of Kate cutting her hair - because Georgie kept pulling them on one of the pictures from their latest trip.
Coffee this morning in my green mug from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - April 6, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! It's sunny outside, with nice winds and temperatures in the 40s - global warming, what can I say.
Sniff is still sleeping on the radiator. George seems to be more impervious to cold. On the other hand, he is sleeping hard enough not to be awaken by a bowl of cereal on the table.
The crazy upstairs is extra diligent today.
Currently trending at # 2 is Michael Jordan - for reasons unknown.
Downton Abbey is at # 9 - because the cast was ordered to stay off Twitter. I guess Turkish influence is contagious.
Kristen Stewart is at # 5 - because she dyed her hair "orange". That should be # 1, not 5!
"How to land more dates" - why?!!! I don't have enough headaches?
Justin Bieber was flirting with Miley Cyrus in retaliation to Selena's flirting with Orlando Bloom - wow! It's getting curiouser and curiouser.
And, finally, "excitement builds" in New Zealand due to the imminent arrival of Will, Kate, and Georgie - at least they have class and they are good looking. Imagine the anticipation of our so-called First Family!
Coffee this morning in my funky green mug from Yves Rocher.

MORNING UPDATE - April 4, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's raining again - but still not bad, so I can wear my flippies.
Sniff got his usual maggot-in-the-brain attack around 5 am this morning (as opposed to the usual 9-10 am), and ended up waking me up while doing his crazy horse routine around my head, my bed, and my night stand. George just did his normal whining for breakfast.
All three TVs were on, but silent!! YAY!!
Currently trending at #1 is Kate Gosselin - without any explanations, just a bunch of photos.
Trending at #4 is Darth Vader - who, apparently, wanted to become a president of Ukraine. Alas, Ukraine does not want him - bummer, as he is much less corrupt than their own government.
"How Mark Zuckerberg is spending his billions" - wow, he has something else to spend it on, aside from campaigning for the illegals? Nice to know.
Snooki is pregnant again - does this mean another book on pregnancy is in the works?
"Hillary Clinton on sexism" - "double standard is alive and well". Of course it is! Only hard-core feminists like her allowed to do the stuff she did to Bill's former girlfriends, and still be lionized by the feminist establishment.
Jon Hamm is also all over the net because somebody unearthed his early appearance on some kind of dating show - with bad hair! Ouch! Stop the presses - John Hamm had bad hair!!!
Coffee this morning in a disposable cup from an overpriced bagel shop next to the blissfully quiet laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - April 3, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's 58 degrees outside! With sun! Of course, the beginning of good weather also means more people yelling and cursing next to my window.
Feline companions finished their morning routine of eating, drinking, whining, running, and generally entertaining us, and are now peacefully snoozing on my bed.
Yesterday saw someone handling new book by Allen West - interesting scene there, what can I say.
Currently trending at #4 is Doris Day - who is "90 and looking great". Happy Birthday, Doris! Love your movies!
Trending at #7 is Jon Cryer - who is "writing a 'candid' memoir". So, the speculation is rampant as to what he is going to say about Charlie Sheen - who gives a damn one way or the other?
Miley Cyrus is at # 6 - because fans morn the passing of her dog. Poor dog!
There is also a whole discussion about her "fabulous" home, which includes a toilet worth a whopping 10 Gs!
"Newton-John rocks leather 36 years after 'Grease'" - great accomplishment!
"Teens who are larger than size 16 who want to look 'a little more sexy' are stuck dressing like 'grandmothers'" - welcome to the world, girls, where, unless you drastically lower your size, you will always be second class citizens (especially when it comes to the garment industry).
The Queen met the current Pope for the first time (he was the fifth Pope she has met). I wonder if she told him how he compared with his predecessors.
"Americans are workaholics" - well, duh!! That's why we have such decent quality of life. Of course, our current administration is doing everything in its power to punish the productive, rob them, and redistribute the fruits of their labor.
"A pair of stolen masterpiece paintings valued at $50 million have been recovered after being bought at an auction for $25 and hung in an auto worker's kitchen for years.... They were stolen from the home of a British couple in 1970.
An unnamed Fiat employee, described by police as a "lover of art," bought the two paintings in an auction of items left in the lost and found department of the national railway. The paintings were reportedly left behind on a train from Paris to Turin and were never claimed. Railway authorities put them up for auction in 1975." - WOW! What kind of moronic thief stole the paintings and left them on the train?!!
"Turkey lifting Twitter ban" - how magnanimous of them!
And, finally, Georgie will accompany his parents on the visit to the nursery in New Zealand - of course, neither hosts nor guest will truly feel the class and social distinction in this case.
Coffee this morning in my glass mug from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.

MORNING UPDATE - April 2, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It is a whole 44 degrees outside! Almost swimsuit weather! 
Sniff decided that sleeping in the middle of my bed is fun and worth being kicked repeatedly. I, on the other hand, have to sleep diagonally as he also hugs my blanket. George continues to hunt on my window.
Yesterday a pair of unshot aging hippies politely asked me for Jane Fonda's new book - really hope my face said all I could not say. On the other hand, some enterprising soul decided to make a whole picture book out of Kipling's poem If - so now we have another very un-PC book in that section.
Currently trending at # 7 is Rosie O'Donnell - because she is going to get an honorary Tony award. Poor Rosie - not even a real Tony!
According to Emma Watson, "fashion industry is 'dangerously' unhealthy" - well, duh! What a profound and original statement!
Meanwhile, in rural Brazil there is a wild hunt for "a new Giselle" - one is enough, thank you very much!
"Trump rallies against gun control in New York" - thank you, Donald! Once in a blue moon you still tend to be useful.
"Justin Bieber DUI case on brink of plea deal" - oh, what a relieve!
And, finally, Kate was "spotted" buying baby clothes for Georgie at the Gap - Kate, their quality if not what is used to be, unfortunately.
Coffee this morning in my personalized mug from Hershey.

MORNING UPDATE - March 28, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! According to my phone, it's 51 degrees outside - wow! I mean - wow! Should have known it was getting positively HOT when Sniff got off the radiator. Both he and George are now peacefully snoozing on my bed - a rare show of camaraderie.
The crazy upstairs woke up, defrosted, got over the absence of water, and is now vigorously performing her usual routine.
Recently I saw a woman who uses more salt than I do - now, that is an achievement!
Currently trending at #1 is Lara Spencer - whom I recognized only by her picture. Anyway, she "Finalized New Deal To Stay On 'Good Morning, America'" - rejoice, oh lovers of circuses!
Trending at #5 is Disney World - only to remind you that you can vacation there! Sadists!
Selena Gomez is at #7 as she was "subpoenaed to testify in Justin Bieber lawsuit". The plot thickens.
Ryan Gosling is at #9 because he "Makes Pumping Gas Look Hot". In the present economic situation anyone who can afford to pump gas might look hot, plus, I never understood people who thought Gosling was - hot, that is.
Out of 5 fastest growing cities in America, 3 are in Texas - good job, Rick Perry! Plus, Orlando is growing too - "Mickey Mouse is making a comeback".
"What the Paltrow-Martin divorce might look like" - who the hell gives a flying banana?!!
The #1 counterfeit product in America are handbags and wallets - well, duh! I could have told you that without going into lengthy statistical data.
"Crimea's tourism industry in doubt" - well, duh again!
"Canadians Will Get a Taco Bell Breakfast Menu If and Only If They Take Justin Bieber Back" - I can't personally vouch for the tastiness of Taco Bell's fare, but, hey, whatever works!
And, finally, Kim Kardashian met Kate's wedding dress designer - um, good luck trying, Kim!
Coffee this morning in my funky glass Cappuccino mug.

MORNING UPDATE - March 27, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! According to my phone, it's just above freezing outside - bring out the sunblock!
Our building finally decided to repair the boiler, hence they advised us of the impending absence of the hot water - but failed to mention the almost possible absence of all water. Even the crazy upstairs interrupted her usual routine. Feline companions were extremely preoccupied with the strange noises coming from below and from outside, and during the breaks in those noises resumed hunting for sparrows.
Can't find one of my Bond CD.
Yesterday impressed a few costumers with my ability to instantly know where a particular book is.
Currently trending at #2 is Bethenny Frankel - because her ex wants her to pay his legal fees. A lot of self-respect this dude has, that's for sure.
Duck Dynasty is trending at #4 - because its "star stands by his believes". Good for him!
Provo, UT, was just declared America's happiest city - I guess there is something about that Book of Mormon, after all.
Sandra Bullock is supposedly planning a TV show based on her Miss Congeniality movies - lady, please! The first movie was suck-y enough!
"Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez: Wedding Planning?" - wow! Jelena is that much alive?!!
"Kate Upton's Vogue Photo: Better Than Kim Kardashian's Cover?" - people, people!! Once again, just take a buck and go to the Met, because you have no blinking idea of what true art and beauty are.
And, finally, Kate is "very excited" about first Mother's day - I bet she is!
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - March 26, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's sunny and bloody freezing outside! IT's the end of March - global warming, my foot!
Sniff spent half the night sleeping on the radiator, and is now running around with his tail in the air. George is hunting sparrows and local barbarians on my window.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent - too cold for her?
Currently trending at #1 is somebody named Robin Roberts - who, according to Google, is a "television personality", and she is going to guest-judge DWTS. Be still, my heart!
Trending at #4 is Staten Island clown - who is "creeping out" Staten Island. I suppose as opposed to our dear mayor, who is just effin up all 5 boroughs. Plus, he still has 315,998 potholes to repair.
Trending at #9 is Dwayne Johnson - because of his "Hercules body secrets". Spare me!
Justin Timeberlake "treated" Jessica Biel to a "romantic gate-away" to Barbados. Aw, how sweet! Would like to go to Barbados too - and it does not have to be romantic, just warm.
"Bad news for meat lovers" - prices are rising too fast. Well, duh! For this, and many other things, you can thank our current government and the environmentalist cabal.
Britain "answered" to Porsche 911 with a new Jaguar model - because that's the biggest concern of great Britain, to make sure their luxury cars are the best in the world.
"Justin Bieber poses semi-shirtless, teases Calvin Klein campaign" - whatever that means.
"One of Kate Middleton's favorite shoes, Hobbs, arrives in the US" - fashionistas, rejoice!
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - March 21, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabbat! The weather seems to be improving - Sniff is fully sleeping in the cat house instead of stretching to the radiator. Of course, he is half-hanging anyway, but that is not due to weather. George is sleeping in the papasan on the guest pillows that I keep forgetting to put away.
The crazy upstairs is performing her routine.
Recent discovery: just because people want to buy books does not necessarily mean that they can read, or even know the alphabet.
Currently trending at #5 is Wesboro Baptist Church - because they are asking people not to picked the funeral of their dear founder. That's very magnanimous of them - considering that their picketing schedule comes up immediately after you google them.
Breakfast is trending at #8 - again, not sure why (unless they wanted to show great pictures of breakfasts that are totally not compliant with parteigenosse Michelle's eating guidelines).
Cameron Diaz claims that "everyone will be cheated on" - considering the general moral climate in Hollywood, I thinks it's a "duh" statement.
"The risks of renouncing US citizenship" - the only risk are the liberals who still did not do it.
"Turkey blocks Twitter access" - how else can you show that you are an enlightened democracy?
"Justin Bieber trapped in LA" - who trapped him and why can't we send him back to Canada? Oh, yes, our team lost, darn it!
Coffee in my black glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - March 20, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's officially the first day of spring - and I was able to open a window in the kitchen! Wow! Sniff is enjoying it to the fullest; George is snoozing on Baby Bro's bed.
Currently trending at #2 is John Stamos - because of the long explanation of why he and Lori Loughlin never dated in real life. Apparently there are a lot of people who cared about that one.
Trending at #5 are KitchenAid mixers - no idea why.
Our dear parteigenosse Michelle is off to China with her dessert-hating mommy and her darling daughters - and she will avoid discussing politics during her visit. Gee, how magnanimous of her!
"Selena Gomez: Don't Even Think Of Having A Baby With Justin Bieber" - thanks for the tip, Selena!
And Kate and Will finally found a new nanny for Georgie - congrats!
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - March 13, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! Hell, am I happy that I don't have to go anywhere today! It's 29 degrees and windy outside! Phil, you are very lucky I don't know how to drive, you effin groundhog! Cats decided that staying awake is not fun in this weather, and are now sleeping on our respective beds: George on Baby Bro's, and Sniff on mine (which makes perfect sense as George is officially his cat, and Sniffy is mine).
Jane Fonda came up with a new book on dealing with your teenagers - I assume she dedicated at least one chapter on her pride in being a traitor and getting away with it; that alone makes a great lesson for the future generations.
Currently trending at #6 is Joan Rivers - because she is selling off furniture from her country home. Fascinating, what can I say.
Two geniuses from Atlanta filed tax return using Eric Holder's info - how does it feel to be scammed, Mr. Attorney General? Mind you, the whole idea was to get his tax return - wonder how much that would be.
Actress Shailene Woodley is "not a fan of Twilight" - relax, lady! You got a role just as lucrative as Bella's, and, judging by the book sale numbers, you will rake just as much moola.
"How to squeeze the most from a Disney vacation" - oh, for pete's sake! Just enjoy yourself!
"How to eat iceberg lettuce" - this is a joke, right?
"Supermodel admits to weight struggles" - this is news why?
"Pet food goes organic, with prices to match" - stupid is as stupid does.
And, finally, Kate is "to raid" the Queen's jewels for her upcoming trip to Australia - that makes for quite an interesting picture.
No coffee today as it's fast day.

MORNING UPDATE - March 5, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's actually warm and sunny outside! Poor Phil - last year he was sued for inaccurately predicting an early spring, and this year people are hunting him because he accurately predicted a late one.
Our fair city now has only 315,998 potholes as our dear Mayor personally repaired two.
George is hunting the sparrows from my window; Sniff is sleeping in the cat house - without stretching to the radiator.
Currently trending at #2 is Halle Berry - who, after giving birth to her son, claimed that she is "not quite where she wants to be with her body". I can only assume that her mind is also not quite where we would like it to be.
Trending at #8 is Oral-B toothbrush as it "launches interactive oral care app for kids to increase brushing time". I got a sneaking suspicion that the people working on it have no kids.
"Worst states to die in" - I don't even want to know.
"Low key spring breaks" - buster, it's either low key or it's a spring break; you can't have both at the same time!
"9 signs you are about to be audited by the IRS" - well, let's see...Belonging to a tea party group; membership in the NRA; flying American flag; anti-Obama bumper stickers - you get the point.
The latest on Bieber is too gross.
And, finally, Kate's and Will's itinerary for their Australian trip was "revealed" - I guess so that the locals would know in advance which areas to mob (or to stay away from).
Coffee this morning in my Get A Grip mug.