MORNING UPDATE - September 19, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Ever Shabat! The weather is beautiful - a treat in our fair city.
Sniffy decided that my bed is fun and comfortable after all. George demanded "human" turkey last night, which he practically inhaled - should I notify Empire that their cold cuts are beloved by cats?
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual.
The latest celebrity to publish a picture book - Keith Richards! So now we have extra strange and bohemian types wondering our floor, muttering "F--k, where is it?!"
A book by Nietzsche was discovered by yours truly about 3 weeks ago in the biography section and was put into a pile of books improperly shelved. A genius colleague of mine decided to re-shelve it in the history section, where I re-discovered it this week. If I find it again on our floor, this book will have an official title of The Wondering German.
Currently trending at #6 is free coffee - it looks like some outfits actually do offer free coffee this Friday!
"J. Lo's python 'Barbie Outfit'" - Jennifer, don't even try, as nothing will beat your green dress!
"A look back at the Spears-Federline marriage" - why?!!
"Hilary Clinton didn't feel independent until age 53" - America, on the other hand, is forever saddled with the legacy of her dear hubby's presidency.
"9 ways to kill time waiting in the iPhone 6 line" - or you can just go home and get a life.
"Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber cook dinner together" - really hope they did not poison each other (or maybe I do?)
And, finally, Prince Harry helped a little girl enjoy the concert by putting her on his shoulders - the concert was during a closing ceremony for the games for the wounded vets, and the girl's father was one of those vets.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - September 15, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is rocking - perfect park weather on a workday smile emoticon Cats decided that my room is not fun anymore (unless they can destroy something) - but the sleeping is done somewhere else.
The soap dish was restored to its normal place.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent.
Aside from booze, also missing at least one plate (fate known), and one kitchen towel - fate unknown.
According to the latest issue of the Men's Health, 1 out of 10 dudes would break up with a woman is she is funnier than him (makes better jokes) - what a pathetic bunch of sore losers!
Congratulations, fellow Americans, we got ourselves a new Miss America! She hails from our own Empire State, and, judging by her name, is Russian.
Currently trending at #3 is Kendall Jenner and her "adventures during New York Fashion week". I don't think I really want to know the details of those "adventures".
Trending at #4 is Loch Ness Monster - who was "allegedly spotted in England". No alleged spotting of English government's resolve to fight the real monsters on their soil.
"Your thyroid could be blamed for weight gain" - duh!!
"10 male fashion archetypes" - sign of our bizarre and sad times.
"Prague has become an absinthe capital" - the lovers of absinthe, start packing your bags!
"Kate Winslet shines in hourglass look" - um, kudos to her for looking human and not plastic?
"Justin Bieber Gets Cozy in Las Vegas with Selena Gomez" - what the heck does that mean? Sharing a stool by the slot machine?
"Beyonce debuts hair extensions during Parisian lunch with Jay Z and Blue Ivy amid rumors that she is pregnant with her second child" - oh, wow! New hair! Lunch in Paris with hubby and child! Pregnancy rumors! A total overload, dude!
And, finally, Happy 30th Birthday to Prince Harry!
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh mug that Nat gave me for my Birthday.

MORNING UPDATE - May 2, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! The weather is finally looking the way it's supposed to in May.
George regains his supremacy over the cat house. Sniffy, meanwhile, is enjoying the box from the Passover seltzer.
CNN was on again, but, thankfully, the noise from the playing machines drowned the noise from the TV.
The crazy upstairs is alive and well.
The young adult novel by Kendall and Kylie Jenner officially hit the shelves!!! Run to get it! And if you desire an autographed copy, they promised to grace our place in sometime in June!!!
Currently trending at #1 is Jason Priestley - because in his new memoir he "Dishes on Shannen Doherty, Brad Pitt". OK, who in the world is interested in reading this literary offering, never mind finding out some hitherto unknown facts about Doherty or Pitt?
Isaiah Washington returns to Grey's Anatomy after 7 years - man, how old is this show already? I think it's time to move to the daytime TV, like all the other soap operas.
Study: "Faces men prefer" - they actually look at the faces?!!!
Sharon Stone looks "sexy at 56" - a great accomplishment!
Prince Harry is officially single again and "was seen in Miami getting flirty with girls" - here is to hoping he would keep his clothes on this time.
"Justin Bieber Crack-Shamed Toronto Mayor" - this is known as extreme hutzpah.
Coffee this morning in a disposable cup from the bagel shop next to the CNN-blaring laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 17

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! I hope you all had a fantastic Shavuot! It's windy and cloudy - but completely breathable, so me happy.
Sniff decided to repeat his strategic mistake this morning and attacked George on my bed yet again - George's response was swift and, frankly, merciless; Sniff ended up fluffing his tail and hissing from the floor.
Marc Summers is talking about bacon! And Paula is making some kind of smothered chicken and biscuits, and then cheesecake with praline topping!
Cigarette-smuggling ring was busted in NY - Bloomberg, that shows you that your anti-smoking campaign is not really working, and people are very happy buying smokes without your draconian taxes attached to them.
Rob Kardashian is trending at #1 because he is walking in order to loose weight; his sister Kourtney showed off her "slim, post baby" body in a bikini; and his sister Kim can't really wear heels anymore and has to get flats - in other news, I did laundry this morning.
Selena Gomez "rocked" another half-naked dress - how is this news? When she shows up in something resembling Amish dress, that would, indeed, be newsworthy.
Heff left his latest wife out of his will, but bought her a 5 mil house to make up for it - I wonder if that earned him a trip to the dog house or just the couch.
Justin Bieber will have to pay for his monkey confiscated in the Munich airport - come on, krauts, this is your chance to show compassion! Keep the monkey away from him!
Prince Harry wrapped up his visit to USA by playing in the charity polo match; he then attended a luncheon in his honor, thanked for a wonderful week, concluding with "I have witnessed the extraordinary generosity of the people of this great nation.” - thanks, Harry! We, in turn, collectively apologize for our disgusting First Lady whom you had to visit, and sincerely hope that the sight of her did not put you off your food for long.
Kate was spotted "indulging in a banana muffin and a cappuccino" - leave the poor preggo alone and let her eat in peace! Also, US magazine wants to know which of her maternity looks are our faves - get a life, people!
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 13

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! It's sunny and cool - but, as I said before, if it's not triple H or torrential rains, me happy!
Sniff decided to always wait by the bathroom door if I am inside; George continues his unobtrusive work of making a nice cat-sized hole by the window he now prefers. Sniff is also sulking due to his epic loss yesterday.
Today is International Hummus Day - rejoice, oh lovers of chick peas! Marc Summers was talking about ice cream, Paula Dean was making dolce de leche pie, and Ina was talking about cookies - yes!
Dan Brown's new book, Inferno, is due to be released tomorrow - I bet you my Barbie collection that whatever religious group he would trash and insult with this one, it would not be muslims. On the other hand, it made millions of his uneducated fans to look up Dante - a novel experience for most of them, I am sure.
Beyonce's daddy is trending at #3 as he owes IRS over 1.2 mil in back taxes from managing his darling daughter's talent - I wonder who and when is actually going to pay that.
A die-hard fan of the Chicago Blackhawks went into premature labor during the game, but refused to leave till the very end - a novel way to induce labor and to survive it. 
Lamborghini unveiled a new car in honor of its 50th birthday; it's a one-seater called "Egoista". The car is made " for one person only, to allow them to have fun and express their personality to the maximum". I am sure that the line of men affected with middle-age crisis is out the door in every single Lamborghini shop.
Hollywood Life dedicated a whole article to Khloe Kardashain's long red nails - no, thank you, I don't want her mani secrets.
Selena Gomez squashed the rumors of her and Biebs getting back together by claiming that she is available for an ice cream date - why specifically ice cream?
Prince Harry spent a day at Arlington National Cemetery and at Walter Reed hospital - I like this guy more and more. No news on his sister-in-law.
Coffee this morning in my Get A Grip mug that my sis brought for me.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 12

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! Ladies, I know that it's just a couple of days before the Shavuot, but try to enjoy today  
George definitely likes the only window with unbroken blinds and is slowly working on a nice cat shaped hole. Sniffles was waiting for me as I left the shower, but I can't figure out if he missed me, or his hanging out spot, or if he was just hungry.
Jeff Mauro was making some kind of mouth-watering sandwiches; he also made a nice point - southern cooking is a lot like Italian: family enjoying each other and overeating together  I think we can include Jews in this mix as well.
Prince Harry is trending at #4: he sang Happy Birthday to the Olympian Missy Franklin - whatever their faults, these two (Will and Harry) are shaping to be way better than their psychotic parents.
Trending at #7: West Wing evacuated because of an overheated transformer - I guess the amount of hot air produced by this administration was too much for the poor transformer.
Hugh Hefner released an "unusual" family photo - the whole concept of family photo as it relates to Hefner is in itself an oxymoron.
"New Study: Americans dislike Justin Bieber" - could have fooled me.
Kate Middleton "recycled" her polka dot dress from HP exhibit to wear to a friend's wedding - isn't recycling a good thing? Plus, she looked good in that dress. Also, breaking news! Her due date is July 13 - nice to know when to run for the cover.
No coffee yet, but it looks like it would be drank from striped Target glass. 

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 10

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's warm and sunny outside - but feline companions are still snoring away in their usual designated spots. The crazy upstairs is very much awake and performs with a vengeance. J. Lo.'s boyfriend "out-divas" her - that means that they are perfect for each other. Vogue is not happy with Kim K.'s dress - how about not being happy with your Hussein-supporting editor? Not that l loved Kim's dress, mind you. Jennifer Aniston wanted Giselle's hair and ended up with a bad haircut - yea, as the old Jewish saying goes, we should all have those problems. Zoe Saldana's character from Colombiana inspired a lot of baby name - oh, yikes! Prince Harry is visiting us again - my first thought was "where would he end up naked now?" He surpassed that by making a surprise visit to parteigenosse Michelle's mother's day tea - yuk and barf! But most of his visit would be spent "honoring the wounded and the dead of war", so he redeemed himself with that one. Anne Hathaway went platinum blond - which did not improve her looks at all. Martha Stewart met her first 2 Match.com dates on the Today show - speaking of awkward first dates. "Coke addresses health critics" - dear morons, it's coke, nut carrot juice, for pete's sake! Drink it and enjoy - just remember that it does not have the same benefits as the above-mentioned juice! Bieber posted a picture of him and friend drinking beer - how bloody original. No news on the Kate front. Coffee this morning in my blue wine glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - APRIL 26

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather rocks! Sniff continues his wicked habit of taking the tissues and napkins out of garbage cans. George is hunting something on my bed. Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Blue Ivy were lunching in Paris - awww; could they please stay there already? Celine Dion's son is trending at #2 because, like his mommy, he likes high heels - poor kid! In ordinary family those pictures would just be a fond memories of childhood - but his are splashed all over the net. Prince Harry is trying his hand at broadcasting - good for your, Your Royal Highness! Would you have the intestinal fortitude to report on the plight of those of your people who are the members of the EDL? Another news from England: Stonehedge is hiring! I am running there! Oh, wait - muslim invasion, high taxes, socialized healthcare - nah, I am staying put. There are talks of remaking Guys and Dolls with with Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon-Levitt - thanks, Hollywood! Not only do you not produce anything decent and/or enjoyable, you are also on the path to destroy all of the gorgeous classics produced by the previous generations! Michael Buble was singing on the subway - heck, I missed it! "Virgin America promotes in-flight flirting" - how about just some old-fashioned leg-and/or butt room? Amanda Bynes is trending at #9 because she shaved half of her head - big deal! Baby Bro shaves his whole head about once a week! And, finally, Kate dressed her baby bump in a cute polka dot dress and, together with her hubby and brother in law visited WB studios in London - they did look cute waving the wands. Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.