Closer to the conclusion to one of the slower/end of the year workdays, I overheard two of my co-workers (one young and American born, another not so young and recently naturalized, being born in one of the South American countries famous for its drug cartels) laughing madly and droning something to the tunes of Americans being stupid. Yours truly, being her usual strange self, could not let the insult to her people pass, hence decided to join in this exchange of ideas.
So, I politely inquired as to the source of this levity and was informed that the above source is general American stupidity. I tried to explain to them that Americans are by far not stupid – just the victims of a broken educational system, for which we can profusely thank Jimmy Carter, among many others. In response I was asked if I watch “are you smarter than a fifth grader”; I usually watch only stuff on Channel 38 and even that when it usually appears on hulu. But I do have a passing acquaintance with this show, which only proves my point – there is a difference between the absence of a working grey matter and the absence of decent, well-rounded general knowledge.
Alas, the levity did not stop, my arguments fell on deaf ears, and the stupidity of the general American public was firmly established in the eyes of those two. Somehow, I did not feel to just politely agreeing to disagree, and I hit them with this parting volley: “You know – you are right. If 64 million Americans could vote Barak Obama into Presidency, Americans are indeed stupid.”
The resulting general effect was simply priceless.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
THANKSGIVING/MEME
As always, very belated, but most sincere
Back in the summer, Moshe tugged me for a “7 things I love” meme. Since that was the “dry period” for my blog due to the necessity of actually working during work hours, I never got to do it (even though meme’s are harmless fun in general, and that looked like enjoyable task in particular). Then, on Thanksgiving, I just wanted to post a list of things I am grateful for. Since I am very late for both entries, I am going to combine them and post things I love (which incidentally I am grateful for).
Fun list:
1. Books.
2. Great works of art by dead white males and females and great books by (hopefully) very much alive white females.
3. Delicious food and drink – especially fruits, anything with real whipped cream, and coffee.
4. Beautiful nature – especially when it is highlighted by warm sun and gentle breezes.
5. Vacations, vacations, vacations – that includes Disney (my first and enduring love), doing all idiotic tourist-y things, exploring strange places, and soaking in the turquoise waters of the magnificent ocean.
6. Comfortable clothes (especially night shirts) and the ability to stay in them as long as possible.
7. Gorgeous smells, especially flowers and perfume (hey, the sense of smell is the only one not affected by “original sin”).
Serious list:
1. My parents, my siblings (even when they are being a pain in the gluteus maximums - hopefully, I can always return the favor), and my nieces and nephew
2. My friends
3. My health (you can guess my age by that one)
4. Being a Jewess
5. Being a woman
6. My freedom
7. USA
Needless to say, all of those are the gifts from The Heavenly Father, and I know that He loves me even when I grouch and grumble (I am human, after all).
Back in the summer, Moshe tugged me for a “7 things I love” meme. Since that was the “dry period” for my blog due to the necessity of actually working during work hours, I never got to do it (even though meme’s are harmless fun in general, and that looked like enjoyable task in particular). Then, on Thanksgiving, I just wanted to post a list of things I am grateful for. Since I am very late for both entries, I am going to combine them and post things I love (which incidentally I am grateful for).
Fun list:
1. Books.
2. Great works of art by dead white males and females and great books by (hopefully) very much alive white females.
3. Delicious food and drink – especially fruits, anything with real whipped cream, and coffee.
4. Beautiful nature – especially when it is highlighted by warm sun and gentle breezes.
5. Vacations, vacations, vacations – that includes Disney (my first and enduring love), doing all idiotic tourist-y things, exploring strange places, and soaking in the turquoise waters of the magnificent ocean.
6. Comfortable clothes (especially night shirts) and the ability to stay in them as long as possible.
7. Gorgeous smells, especially flowers and perfume (hey, the sense of smell is the only one not affected by “original sin”).
Serious list:
1. My parents, my siblings (even when they are being a pain in the gluteus maximums - hopefully, I can always return the favor), and my nieces and nephew
2. My friends
3. My health (you can guess my age by that one)
4. Being a Jewess
5. Being a woman
6. My freedom
7. USA
Needless to say, all of those are the gifts from The Heavenly Father, and I know that He loves me even when I grouch and grumble (I am human, after all).
Monday, January 11, 2010
VALIDATION OF MY “MADNESS”
There are many things that I do in performance of my everyday boring activities that garner raised eyebrows from the passers-by, good natured jokes from my friends, and snide comments from my so-called well-wishers. One prime example is my choice of footwear.
Anyone who knows me personally can vouch that I wear flip-flops around nine months out of twelve – lately around eight months (due to the results of catastrophic man-made global warming). Surprise of surprises – I actually do that for purely practical reasons, and not to reinforce my nonsensical non-conformism.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I forced myself to go to podiatrist – this time due to my innate klutziness that results in my frequent walking into walls and assorted furniture. While making an appointment, I was asked to make sure and prepare a list of all different kinds of footwear I use for different purposes. “Oh, brother,” – was my mental exclamation – “another lecture by a medical professional coming my way”. To further the irony, it rained cats and dogs on the morning of my appointment, so, instead of wearing my derided flip-flops, I borrowed a pair of sneakers from my baby brother and trotted off.
The doctor was punctual and friendly, and he reassured me that my klutziness produced no lasting damage. He was also duly impressed with the general condition of my feet; and then the conversation turned to the dreaded topic – the footwear. He asked me if I were sneakers as a matter of course; I explained to him the reason for the Nikes and my obsession with the “beach shoes”. “So, you wear flip-flips most of the time?” “Yes; even when it gets cold outside, I keep a pair at work to change into.” “And at home?” “Then I just go barefoot”. Guess what his response was to my dreadful confession? “That’s very impressive! I wish all my patients did this – it’s healthy for the feet to be exposed to sun and air for most of the time.”
The second episode occurred about three weeks later when I went for my infrequent hair-cut. To hair salon which I frequent is pretty friendly and informal, which suits me just fine. So, while my hairdresser began on my head, she continued chatting with her previous client. In the middle of this chat, the other lady complimented my hair, telling me that it looks very healthy. The hairdresser got really excited and confirmed that my tresses were very silky to touch (thanks, ladies, you are making me blush). “You know why?” – She continued – “It’s because Barb does not put anything in her hair. All she does is shampoo, condition, and get them cut; no chemicals, no dies, no blow-drying – zip!” The other client was duly surprised and impressed at the same time.
Now I have a slight dilemma – should I submit this story to Glamour, Vogue, In Style, Lucky, and a few other choice publications offering beauty advice to women? Nah, just kidding.
Anyone who knows me personally can vouch that I wear flip-flops around nine months out of twelve – lately around eight months (due to the results of catastrophic man-made global warming). Surprise of surprises – I actually do that for purely practical reasons, and not to reinforce my nonsensical non-conformism.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I forced myself to go to podiatrist – this time due to my innate klutziness that results in my frequent walking into walls and assorted furniture. While making an appointment, I was asked to make sure and prepare a list of all different kinds of footwear I use for different purposes. “Oh, brother,” – was my mental exclamation – “another lecture by a medical professional coming my way”. To further the irony, it rained cats and dogs on the morning of my appointment, so, instead of wearing my derided flip-flops, I borrowed a pair of sneakers from my baby brother and trotted off.
The doctor was punctual and friendly, and he reassured me that my klutziness produced no lasting damage. He was also duly impressed with the general condition of my feet; and then the conversation turned to the dreaded topic – the footwear. He asked me if I were sneakers as a matter of course; I explained to him the reason for the Nikes and my obsession with the “beach shoes”. “So, you wear flip-flips most of the time?” “Yes; even when it gets cold outside, I keep a pair at work to change into.” “And at home?” “Then I just go barefoot”. Guess what his response was to my dreadful confession? “That’s very impressive! I wish all my patients did this – it’s healthy for the feet to be exposed to sun and air for most of the time.”
The second episode occurred about three weeks later when I went for my infrequent hair-cut. To hair salon which I frequent is pretty friendly and informal, which suits me just fine. So, while my hairdresser began on my head, she continued chatting with her previous client. In the middle of this chat, the other lady complimented my hair, telling me that it looks very healthy. The hairdresser got really excited and confirmed that my tresses were very silky to touch (thanks, ladies, you are making me blush). “You know why?” – She continued – “It’s because Barb does not put anything in her hair. All she does is shampoo, condition, and get them cut; no chemicals, no dies, no blow-drying – zip!” The other client was duly surprised and impressed at the same time.
Now I have a slight dilemma – should I submit this story to Glamour, Vogue, In Style, Lucky, and a few other choice publications offering beauty advice to women? Nah, just kidding.
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