MORNING UPDATE - FEBRUARY 22

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is beginning to improve slightly - it's warmer, and the winds died down, thank Gd! Got effin scared last night when I heard someone walking around the apartment when I knew that baby bro was asleep. Turned out it was George - blessed kitty made that much noise! And, mind you, I don't read horror stories or suspense - ever, not just at night. The crazy upstairs did not disappoint and started her routine as I was typing this update. There is a casino in NYC (strictly speaking, next to JFK), which is threatening the business in Atlantic City and at Mohigan Sun, because NYers can just hop on the subway and be where they want to be - go, Queens!! This just in - young adults eat more fast food than older people, blacks eat more of it than whites, and young black adults are the biggest consumers of whoppers and fried chicken - I am sure the researches and statisticians that participated in this study were racists. Japanese women are making money by putting ads on their thighs and posting pictures online - interesting, that. Star Wars fans can take lightsaber lessons and get special tips from Darth Vader himself - ah, the beauty of the free market. J.Lo.'s twins are turning 5, and she is throwing a rainbow-themed b-day party for them, completed with homemade cupcakes frosted with pink and blue - aw, happy birthday kids! With mommy and daddy like yours - good luck! "Rural communities of Dull, Scotland, and Boring, Oregon, formed an international partnership last year to build cultural and commercial connections" to attract tourists, despite their luck-luster names - personally, I would be hesitant to visit liberal-infested Oregon and muslim-infested Britain, but that's just me. Also, our fair city of New York escaped being among America's worst cities to find love - how, I have no idea. Some posh psychologist listed 10 biggest wedding fears and how to conquer them - surprisingly, the fear of "he will never get over his mommy issues and take it out on me" was not on the list; got to give that woman a call and tell her to brush up. Just as I was complaining about Windsors - Harry is in the news again, but all he is doing is having a romantic getaway with his new girlfriend - no orgies and everyone stayed dressed (so far); BORING! Also, thanks to a tip from a concerned citizen, I found out that there was a plot to kidnap Bieber and chop off his testicles! Thankfully, the perpetrators were stopped by the Canadian border - whew! The national treasure was saved! Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.