As is traditional on this blog for the
past couple of years, I would like to wish all my brothers and
sisters a Shana Tova somewhere around Rosh Chodesh Kislev – well,
definitely before we celebrate Chanukah.
So, to all the members of our tribes,
regardless of your religious affiliation, or the acknowledgment of
belonging to our tribes, or even the realization that you actually do
belong – I wish all of you a good, sweet, healthy, happy,
prosperous, and blessed year.
I don't know if all of us prayed well
enough these past High Holidays, or, if, using a non-kosher
reference, we have been “very naughty” these past couple of
years, but so far this year is shaping to be, well, challenging. To
be truthful, we are in grave peril. Every single anti-Semitic force
on Earth that ever existed is rearing its ugly head once again, but,
most horrifying of all, our own so-caller leaders, both religious and
secular, are, to paraphrase Caroline Glick, are like dogs. They are
petty, cowardly, concerned with idiocy, and completely unable to
lead. Aside from incompetent and ignorant leaders, we have way too
many non-leaders in our midst that either forgot what being a Jew
truly means – or, worse, are simply not happy to be one. I know
that by this time it sounds like a well-worn platitude, but we really
need to try our best to be the best Jews we could be – and pray;
pray hard and from the heart.
On the light note: yours truly did her
usual by making sure to come to services early on Rosh Hashana and
Yom Kippur, but slept through the ones on Succot.
And – drum roll please – here comes
the fashion report:
Beau Brummel can rest peacefully –
the good matrons of South Brooklyn and their daughters continue to
favor black in all its ugly, ehr, elegant permutations. And, sadly,
this year, neither the flowers nor the feathers of small birds were
in vogue as hair ornaments – so, goth couture all around. Yours
truly, being her usual stubborn Jewish self, broke the mold with
green, yellow, and pink (not all at the same time, though). There
were other iconoclasts in the congregation (about half a minyan
worth), who showed up dressed in violet, peach, blue, and – gasp –
light gray/lavender leather. What can I tell you – it was an
interesting fashion show.
And last, but not least, as always, my
friends shared their delicious holiday meals. And, sadly, but not
unexpectedly, I got to listen to a ton of idiocy coming out of the
mouths of other guests. Here, in no particular order, is a partial
list of the more salient points.
The reason the eat fish on Rosh Hashona
is because fish is the only one member of animal world who procreates
completely without touching – since when did we acquire such Muslim
or Catholic aversion to sex?
The judgment on Rosh Hashona happens
before Musaf, so, a special Chassidish Rav takes 4 hours to say the
morning Shemona Esre – how?
I am Russian,my roots are there, and I
should be proud of this heritage – with all due respect and
admiration, go to the warm basement.
Another time a guest gave the host
exact instructions as how to make kiddish for his (guest's) progeny
and how to serve them grape juicy – no comment.
Of course, the best was when another
guest at my friend's house pointed at me and asked our hostess “who
is this?”; then proceeded to discuss and debate diets and healthy
foods with another couple present at the meal. And if that was not
fun enough, the discussion proceeded with the visiting husband
extolling the virtues of Moscow, mocking my beloved country, deriding
me for my patriotism, and reacting with snide bewilderment to my
profound hate for the step-mama country.
Basically, Holidays were great, but
tainted with the ignorance that, unfortunately, is very prevalent in
our circles, and is, in my humble opinion, one of the root causes of
most of our problems.
So, here is to a, hopefully, good and
sweet year filled with true Achavat Chinam and working Jewish brains.
