"And once again, Republicans are asleep at the wheel while another close election is being openly stolen by the man whose contributions to Western Civilization include the "Planet of The Enormous Hooters" sketch on "SNL."
Ann Coulter
"What is "public service" anyway? Prostitutes perform a public service, and it's one I'm sure even Charlie Sheen would agree is more important than the one performed by most politicians in Washington. True, it's inherently unfair to place both prostitutes and politicians under the "public service" umbrella – unfair to prostitutes. If a prostitute was a "public servant" in the way a politician is, you'd drive up, she'd get in, you'd hand her $50, she'd kick you out, keep the $50, steal your car, loan the spare tire to GM and then drive over to spend the night with George Soros.
And what happens when a politician does in fact perform a true "public service" –such as, say, helping keep the country free from a terrorist attack for over seven years? That politician is rewarded with a dismal approval rating, is mocked by the media and called a "war criminal" by the very public that was an unwitting recipient of that valuable public service.
If anybody in the United States Congress is reading this, please put into motion legislation
that would ultimately prohibit the use of the term "public service" as applied to any politician. Ironically, this would be your greatest act of public service ever. "
Doug Powers
"Where liberals are concerned, one thing you can always count on is that they regard themselves as morally and intellectually superior to those who disagree with them. And, yet, surely there must be liberals somewhere who possess enough common sense to realize how absurd it is when the city council of Berkeley, Calif., instead of dealing with potholes and street vendors, came up with a resolution condemning the Iraq war, or when a grand jury in Willacy County, Texas, recently decided to indict Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales. Aren't there any liberals who find such things even faintly amusing?
It does occur to me now and then that we are well on our way to becoming a banana republic, but with a lot more bananas than republic.
The other day, during an e-mail exchange with one of my readers, Don Melquist, he explained how a Judas goat would be used to lead a herd of sheep aboard a railroad boxcar. I said I understood the goat's function, but I could never figure out how the animal could then make its way past all the sheep and out the door. Mr. Melquist, who had been raised on a farm, explained that goats are extremely agile and could easily get through a bunch of bleating sheep in order to receive their food reward. He finished up his report, stating, "Goats and sheep may seem rather similar, but there is a huge difference in their habits and intelligence."
I wrote back, "Sounds a lot like liberals and conservatives."
Burt Prelutsky
And now for the grand finale. Last week I spent five bucks on e-bay and got myself my very first own book by Edmund Burke. As I began to leaf through it, this is what I found almost immediately:
"It is better to cherish virtue and humanity, by leaving much to free will, even with some loss to the object, than to attempt to make men mere machines and instruments of a political benevolence. The world on the whole will gain by a liberty, without which virtue cannot exist."
You got to love those dead white male dudes!
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