GREAT QUOTES OF THE WEEK

"And once again, Republicans are asleep at the wheel while another close election is being openly stolen by the man whose contributions to Western Civilization include the "Planet of The Enormous Hooters" sketch on "SNL."
Ann Coulter

"What is "public service" anyway? Prostitutes perform a public service, and it's one I'm sure even Charlie Sheen would agree is more important than the one performed by most politicians in Washington. True, it's inherently unfair to place both prostitutes and politicians under the "public service" umbrella – unfair to prostitutes. If a prostitute was a "public servant" in the way a politician is, you'd drive up, she'd get in, you'd hand her $50, she'd kick you out, keep the $50, steal your car, loan the spare tire to GM and then drive over to spend the night with George Soros.

And what happens when a politician does in fact perform a true "public service" –such as, say, helping keep the country free from a terrorist attack for over seven years? That politician is rewarded with a dismal approval rating, is mocked by the media and called a "war criminal" by the very public that was an unwitting recipient of that valuable public service.

If anybody in the United States Congress is reading this, please put into motion legislation
that would ultimately prohibit the use of the term "public service" as applied to any politician. Ironically, this would be your greatest act of public service ever. "
Doug Powers

"Where liberals are concerned, one thing you can always count on is that they regard themselves as morally and intellectually superior to those who disagree with them. And, yet, surely there must be liberals somewhere who possess enough common sense to realize how absurd it is when the city council of Berkeley, Calif., instead of dealing with potholes and street vendors, came up with a resolution condemning the Iraq war, or when a grand jury in Willacy County, Texas, recently decided to indict Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales. Aren't there any liberals who find such things even faintly amusing?

It does occur to me now and then that we are well on our way to becoming a banana republic, but with a lot more bananas than republic.

The other day, during an e-mail exchange with one of my readers, Don Melquist, he explained how a Judas goat would be used to lead a herd of sheep aboard a railroad boxcar. I said I understood the goat's function, but I could never figure out how the animal could then make its way past all the sheep and out the door. Mr. Melquist, who had been raised on a farm, explained that goats are extremely agile and could easily get through a bunch of bleating sheep in order to receive their food reward. He finished up his report, stating, "Goats and sheep may seem rather similar, but there is a huge difference in their habits and intelligence."

I wrote back, "Sounds a lot like liberals and conservatives."
Burt Prelutsky

And now for the grand finale. Last week I spent five bucks on e-bay and got myself my very first own book by Edmund Burke. As I began to leaf through it, this is what I found almost immediately:
"It is better to cherish virtue and humanity, by leaving much to free will, even with some loss to the object, than to attempt to make men mere machines and instruments of a political benevolence. The world on the whole will gain by a liberty, without which virtue cannot exist."
You got to love those dead white male dudes!

GREAT QUOTES OF THE WEEK

Here are more wonderful pearls of great satire from the incomparable Burt Prelutsky:

"as most of you are aware, homosexuals have been rioting pretty much non-stop ever since California’s electorate once again put the kibosh on same-sex marriages. They have picketed and vandalized Catholic and Mormon churches to display their displeasure, which suggests to me that, instead of “gays” being their euphemism of choice, perhaps “cranks,” “louts” or “bigots” might be more appropriate.
The one group of churches they haven’t gone after are the black ones, even though 70% of blacks voted in favor of marriage being limited to one man and one woman. What’s more, blacks were very vocal about objecting to homosexual marriages being touted as a civil right. The fact that, in spite of all this, homosexuals have given black churches a wide berth suggests that while gays may not always practice safe sex, they certainly practice safe demonstrations."

"Next, I don’t ever want to hear a Democrat claim, as I believe Joe Biden did, that paying taxes is patriotic. Paying taxes is about as patriotic as going to the bathroom. In other words, at times, it’s necessary, but it’s always compulsive. I believe that for a thing to be patriotic, it has to be done on a voluntary basis. I suppose a case could be made that if a person paid more than he owed, he was being patriotic. So, as an example to the rest of us, I would love to see such tax-loving liberals as George Soros, Mr. and Mrs. John Kerry and all the various Kennedys, pay at the rate they would if most of their income didn’t come to them in the low-taxed form of trusts and off-shore accounts."

"It’s no secret that I am not looking forward to an Obama administration. The notion that the liberals will control the House, the Senate and the Oval Office, for the foreseeable future makes my blood run cold. The mental image that first comes to mind is a bull in a china shop, but the ensuing damage in that case would be inadvertent. The bull, after all, isn’t looking to destroy the crockery. It is merely looking for the quickest way back to the farm and the cows, whereas the liberals are looking to create an America in their own cockeyed image. That makes me think of vandals taking knives to the Mona Lisa or firebugs burning down a virgin forest."

"Many people are questioning why Obama, the alleged agent of change, is filling his administration with a lot of Clinton re-treads. I am reminded of what took place in Germany after World War II. Suddenly, it seemed like all the mayors and bureaucrats were former Nazis. The explanation was that after a dozen years of Hitler, only the Nazis had the necessary leadership experience. Well, when you realize that since 1980, the only Democratic president was Bill Clinton, it figures that Obama would be forced to furnish his White House with second-hand goods from the Clinton thrift shop."

MORE GREAT QUOTES

Here are two great quotes from last week:

"Forget about Ayers' domestic terrorism when Obama "was 8 years old." Does he agree with Ayers' idiot ideas right now?"
Ann Coulter

"If I were McCain, I'd start out by asking Obama if he thinks ACORN or that other famous community organization, the Mafia, is the more dangerous group. I, personally, have more respect for the Mafia. After all, they favor capitalism over socialism, they genuinely like America, they don't try to destroy the election process and, what's more, they dress a lot better, favoring camelhair coats over those corny red sweatshirts."
Burt Prelutsky

A GREAT QUOTE!

Here is one of the great quotes from this week:

"This week, Barack Obama's challenge is to select a running mate who's young, hip, and whose accomplishments in life don't overshadow Obama's. Allow me to suggest Kevin Federline. "

Ann Coulter