MORNING UPDATE - November 11, 2014

Good Morning, peep! Happy Tuesday! The weather is simply magnificent for a November day in NYC! Sniff and George are taking turns to enjoy the fresh air via the kitchen window.
Yesterday I sort of joined the 21st century, downloaded the Kindle app, and started using Amazon's services. Liberal a-holes in charge of our libraries, rejoice! You just delivered another customer to the greedy capitalist pig corporation!
The crazy upstairs is alive and very well.
Some kind of "bestselling author and and war-zone photographer" was telling a whole story about how she could not get a retail job in The Container Store - um, oh bright and genius writer and photographer, maybe working retail requires slightly different talents than the ones you displayed?
"Elizabeth Banks steals the show in dreamy gown" - a truly remarkable achievement!
"Chelsea Clinton on motherhood" - yea, considering what a shining example of motherhood she herself had growing up, good luck to her and to baby Charlotte!
Shailene Woodley might have a new boyfriends - eh, congratulations?
"What Americans crave more than sex" - sleep, baby, sleep!
"Calvin Klein calls size 10 model 'plus size'" - wow, am I surprised! You could have knocked me down with a feather!
"Male grooming tips" - "how to grow the perfect beard". Personally know a lot of people who can benefit from this advice.
"How to enroll in Obamacare" - oh, wait, wait, wait! It's not easy, cheap, and consumer-friendly? Wow!
Beyonce and Jay Z are hoping for a "Parisian pregnancy" - because, apparently, it is way different than, say, New York or LA pregnancy. Well, how about a Paris birth as well? Let them run their shenanigans in France.
According to some expert over at TMZ, Justin Bieber "could be a Pro Boxer" - I guess because he so looks the type.
And, finally, "Kaley Cuoco recycles her pink wedding dress" - who said you can't wear your wedding dress whenever the mood strikes?!
Coffee this morning in my Life is Delicious mug.

MORNING UPDATE - September 30, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is on the slightly blah-y side. Sniff continues to ambush me in the small hallway; George can't figure out what he likes more - chicken or turkey.
Lena Dunham, and, on the smaller scale, Oliver Jeffries, are both gracing my workplace today, so, very, very glad for the day off - although did manage to have a strange dream about crowds outside of the store.
The crazy upstairs is on her usual post.
A very important piece of news that I did not report on due to Holidays - George Clooney's nuptials. Congratulations, World - here is another power couple from hell.
Another important news item that has gone unreported - Chelsea Clinton had a baby girl! Poor kid, to be born into that cesspool of a family!
Currently trending at #2 is James Franco - because he "finds dating difficult as he is 'shy'". Spare me, please!
Trending at #3 is Victoria Beckham - because she made it on the list of the 20 most stylish brides. For reasons unknown, the list included only celebs from this and last century. As a plebeian history buff, I strongly object to the list (although not to some of the names on it).
According to the new biography of Coco Chanel, "she despised flowery perfume" - that's probably why I despise Chanel perfumes.
"Avoid dating burnout" - too late for this one.
Beyonce suffered "wardrobe malfunction" during her latest concert - ladies, this is getting soooo old and boring.
"Why Gaga's no longer blond" - who cares?
"12 cemeteries you should see before you die" - thanks, but no, thanks.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.