HAPPY PURIM!

For a number of years now I have been guilty of not getting into proper Purim spirit. Sure, there were reasons aplenty: our family is not together anymore, no money, no job, munchkins are not here, friends turned out to be radishes (non-translatable Russian jargon), Hussein is the President, our community is rotting and stinking from the head, our people are not using their gray matter and behaving like water buffaloes (especially during the Holidays) – well, the list is long, painful, and emotionally exhausting.

Add to this the fact that our enemies like to keep our wounds fresh; they love to make sure that each day of celebration is market by somebody's sorrow – and a very recent one, at that. I would never forget the Seder where one of the guests remarked right before the Shvach Hamatcho “remember the parents of Shalhevet Pass who are just getting up from Shiva”. And when it comes to Purim, we have the massacre at Merkaz Harav, which occurred on Rosh Chodesh Adar, and the murders of the Fogel family, may Hashem avenge their blood, which happened shortly before Purim. Yes, all this definitely adds to a lovely celebration and merriment.

But this year, about a week before Purim, it suddenly dawned on me: we celebrate despite all that! Because in every generation, heck, almost every decade, we have a new Haman who rises and thinks it would be a great idea to get rid of this one “people scattered and separate among the peoples throughout all the” nations. Safety is only a temporary illusion; we are constantly in danger (sometimes more, sometimes less) because we are still in galut – mainly due to our ignorance and sinat chinam. On Purim we remember that an evil bastard wanted to exterminate us all, with the full cooperation of the governing body (who did not even care about the loss of revenue to the treasury); only through the hidden miracles from the Almighty were we saved, and the wheels of fortune turned in our favor. We celebrate the simple fact of remaining alive despite the unbelievable odds! And we also remember once more that “united we stand, divided we fall” - a simple phrase, repeated so many times by so many different people in so many different circumstances – but not loosing its validity none-the-less. We eat, drink, enjoy life, and give gifts to each other; it really is the most joyous day of the year.

And so, this Purim, that's what I did – tried to celebrate it in the proper spirit. I am still jobless, money-less, and lonely; our community is still, well, by far not perfect; our people still behave like water buffaloes and still propagate idiocy and sinat chinam; our enemies are more powerful than ever and are coming at us from all sides; and the wounds from loosing our brothers and sisters to unending hatred are very fresh – but I smiled, sang, and danced regardless. Granted, I was costume-less (due to poor planning last fall), but as half of my wardrobe and accessories are “strange” and “funny” anyway (or the results of manic shopping choices), they did it instead of a real costume.

Also, went to my by now usual Purim meal in Riverdale. The food was great (I even ate and enjoyed turkey!!!), the company pretty good, and I had a great excuse to escape Brooklyn. Finally tally on the emptied bottles – 8!!! Americans can't drink properly, man!

I hope your Purim also rocked, peeps – because, hey, we are still alive and kicking! Am Yisrael Chai! Le'Chaim!

HAPPY (BELATED) PURIM

Editor’s note: due to the usual circumstances beyond my control, this piece appears today, as opposed to the day after Shushan Purim.

I love all our holidays. Each one brings its own beauty and a balm to the sometimes weary soul. Each reinforces its own message, but all of them remind us again of our unique place in the world and our demanding and privileged relationship with The Master of the Universe. But before I progress with sharing my meager knowledge, let us remember the eight Yeshiva students brutally slain last year on Rosh Chodesh Adar, may G-d avenge their blood!

On Purim we celebrate the escape from a total annihilation and a sheer beauty of being alive; we eat, we drink, we wear costumes, we share food, and we make sure to remember the needy. We also remember the "hidden" miracles that The Almighty performed on our behalf - hidden because on the surface they look like a natural chain of events, and only through deeper study and understanding do we realize that there was nothing "natural" about these events and their timing.

We also have an opportunity to remember what happens when we forget to be properly proud of whom we are. After all, Jews did not eat or drink something not Kosher; they just went to the feast that in essence celebrated the fact that the prophecy about Jewish redemption did not come to fruition (supposedly), and they drank from the vessels that were taken out of the destroyed Temple by the people who destroyed it (collectively spitting into their own faces). The results were immediate (although not immediately felt): right after the description of the festivities we hear about Haman and his rise to power - G-d had "hidden" Himself from His people.

Another reminder - our continued well-being usually depends (at least in part) on the few righteous people present in our midst. In this particular story we have Mordechai and Esther. Again, I do not presume to claim to even understand what they were feeling and thinking, because these people existed on the level we would never really achieve or truly comprehend. Still, with our puny understanding, try to imagine this scenario: man's wife is kidnapped and taken to a harem of a lecherous and powerful king. For a couple of years, he continually watches over her, sitting by the palace day after day. In the process, he uncovers a plot against the ruler and saves him; which, by the way, is another lesson of Purim: Esther conveyed the message about the plot in the name of Mordechai, teaching us that we should always give proper credit (no matter what the cannons of modern marketing and PR are telling us).

Then the terrible news about the official plans for the total extermination of all Jews broke out Mordechai tells Esther to go straight to the king and beseech him to spare our people. Esther seemed to be hesitant; why? Because not only would her life be in danger if she would go to the king without summons, but by voluntary going to him she would also be unable to return to her husband. But Mordechai sweeps aside her objections, telling her instead that the only probable reason for her to become a queen was for the sole purpose of saving her people now. So, after informing Mordechai that she would fast and pray for three days, and asking him to urge all the Jews in the city to do the same, Esther cleverly outmaneuvers Haman and begs the king for the life of her people.

Another interesting and very important lesson of Purim: perception and cause. After Haman rose to power, everybody was bowing down and genuflecting to him. Everyone, that is, except Mordechai (who, by the way, did not attend the infamous feast either). So, according to the surface story, Haman got really angry, observing that everyone bows down to him except that Jew Mordechai; and that situation inflamed his Jew-hatred to the point of his hatching the plan of "the final solution to the Jewish problem". It sounds pretty plausible, but it is completely wrong. Mordechai did not genuflect in order not to bow down to the idol that Haman was wearing (thus strictly observing the first and fundamental rule of our faith, never mind truly preserving his Jewish dignity). He was not part of the problem - he was part of the solution; but in order to comprehend this, you need the true clarity of vision, which, unfortunately, was and still is not widely found.

But the most important lesson of Purim is the fact that our Heavenly Father never truly abandons us. He is always watching over us, both as individuals and as a nation. During our biggest transgressions He, even in His Anger, sows the seeds of the solution. And there is always hope for a salvation, even (and especially) in our darkest hour.

So, here is to the continued health and well-being of our nation! May all our enemies be destroyed! And may we always keep our dignity, clarity of vision, and true pride in being Jews! May we always be able to have great feasts, be merry, and help each other! And may we always have love and unity, not just in times of great sorrow, but in times of great joy! L'Chaim!

On the very light note, here are my Purim highlights:

Munchkins (due to the great wisdom of their Mommy) were both Elmos. Of course, the slight scuffle broke out because both wanted "Elmo padzamas" as opposed to "Elmo dzaket".

Both Elmos run into another Elmo, who was accompanied by a Cookie Monster.

I thought of a great costume to myself, but, since this great thought came to me a bit late, ended up just wearing my usual clothes. What costume? Well, I wanted a T-shirt with "member of the NRA" in big letters and a big picture of a gun. That, of course, was my second choice. My first choice would have been too dangerous to wear in the five boroughs.

Did not run into one person I usually try to avoid - yeah!!! On the down side, missed my friend Moish and his leather get up again.

For the first time actually visited somebody in The Bronx (as opposed to just passing through this borough in a car or a train). In the process discovered that Jews are funny everywhere: not only was that Riverdale, but, apparently, Riverdale in the slang of Jews gets split up into few parts (somebody was living specifically in the Mid-Riverdale).

Got fed a fantastic meal by my friends, which included another funny element. My hostess, always being an inventive type, served very cute hors d'oeuvres: chunks of spicy salami with veggies on the barbeque sticks, all stuck in the big bright mug. Every woman present, without fail, recognized it as a food item, and partook in it. Every man present, also without fail, deemed those things decorations and had to be explained what is was.

My hosts had a very cute costume arrangement: father was Tigger, Mother - Rabbit, and their tiny twin son and daughter: Eeyore and Piglet. The Big Brother (being almost three) spoiled the whole scheme by refusing the wear his Pooh outfit.

Yours truly, being herself, had two half-glasses of wine, after which the pleasant mellowness followed (OK, I got slightly drunk).

MUSING BEFORE PURIM

All who know me personally can vouch for the fact that not only am I a bit of a history buff, but I always get extremely annoyed when people try to tell me that studying history is a bore and a waste of time. I can consent to bore, because most of historians can not convey their knowledge, in either written or spoken form, without putting their audience to sleep in about five minutes flat; but a waste of time it definitely is not. You see, as far as cliches go, history most certainly repeats itself because people never bother to learn at least the rudiments of it, and, as such, always bound to repeat the mistakes of previous generations ad infinitum. Case in point: my people vs. the rest of the world.

Anyone with a modicum of historical knowledge, if, in fact, he or she possessed that knowledge, would most certainly and a long time ago come to a conclusion that is does not pay to tangle with Jews. Even if you consider yourself an atheist or an agnostic, and think that the Old Testament was written by a man and is filled with a bunch of nonsense, somehow "I will curse the ones who curse you, and bless the ones that bless you" always comes true. Blame it on anything you want: Elders of Zion, worldwide Jewish conspiracy, untold riches that every Jew is supposed to posses no matter his station in life; whatever it is, it is impossible to actually figure out, but, non the less, it always comes true. Think of great empires and all kinds of tyrants we have survived and outlived; boggles the mind!

Since, as already proven, people do not learn history and its lessons, in every generation, heck, almost every day, there always comes some brave individual or individuals, usually accompanied by a whole crowd of highly peaceful, moral and educated followers, who thinks the he will finally get rid of of this small bunch of weirdos who manage to always control the world and in the process bake the blood of innocent children in their weird holiday breads and pastries. The noble efforts are usually successful for a while (sometimes a long while), but, inevitably, the noble organizer himself goes to his just desserts, and then his country follows suit. The whole process may take more than one generation, but the circle is always completed. My question is: can't people just wise up and forget the heroics? I mean, as long as these blankety blank blank Jews do not touch you personally, can you forget about saving the world from the danger of Jewish World domination and enjoy life? The answer, of course, is always "no".

For about two generations and counting that noble role was undertaken not so much by a particular individual; more by a particular religion. Of course, they have been very active on this worthy path before; it is just that their efforts redoubled lately, and, for whatever reason, the civilized world is very accepting of these efforts contrary to any kind of applicable logic.

This week we (meaning the blankety blank blank Jews) will celebrate Purim. Whenever somebody asks me explain the meaning of this holiday in one sentence or less, all I can say is: we faced total and complete extermination, and, by the combination of very peculiar circumstances, not only survived, but emerged victorious. It is possibly the happiest holiday in our calendar, full of food, drink, revelry, and excited children in costumes (adults too, actually). Of course, life's circumstances being what they are, not everyone's level of happiness will be the same; but this year all of us know of eight families for whom Purim will come on the hills of emerging from the Shiva for their murdered children.

They were murdered in cold blood by a fanatical killer; most of them were just high school kids. Their murder was loudly celebrated by the members of that fanatical religion, and the most of the rest of the world either ignored it or proclaimed it as just another chain in the circle of violence in the Middle East and bemoaned the fact of that little incident derailing the peace process.

Like the vast majority of humankind, I can not see G-d's plan, nore do I profess the ability to do so. I will never know why it was His plan to allow the killer into the place of holy learning, why these kids were killed, and why it happened as the month of Adar, the month of Purim celebration, was approaching. These boys and their classmates were preparing to do just that: welcome the new month and celebrate Purim; instead they ended up lying in the pool of blood amongst the debris of the destroyed holy books. The murderers cheered on , and the so-called defenders of human rights did not even bother to honestly report "the incident".

Again, even if you consider the Book of Esther just a product of human imagination, do yourselves a favor and read it; after all, once upon a time it was a mark of an educated person to be familiar with the Old Testament. Then, try to familiarize your minds with at least bare bones of the history of Spain. With me still? Good. Now, explain to me, pretty please, the logic and moral justification of calling a religion "religion of peace" when the so called radical members of this religion dance on the streets at the prospect of Jewish parents burying their murdered children, and non-radical members just stay mum (at the very least). Not too tired yet? Wonderful, just a tiny bit more. Sit down, make yourselves comfortable, and try, at least try to comprehend this: we will never quietly disappear into the night, never! Muslims can murder our children in the places of holy learning or shoot them (along with their pregnant mothers) execution style on the lonely rodes, and you can condone all of it as part of their fight for freedom and self-determination; it does not matter. We will grieve, because when you strike one of us, you strike us all. Then we will dry our tears and go on living, while you can contemplate the moral ramifications of condoning genocide or just standing by and letting it happen.

May G-d comfort our bereaved, especially the parents of those poor boys, and may He protect our children! This Friday we, once again, will celebrate His miracles and our survival. We will remember the story, help the poor, eat, drink, and enjoy life. L'Chaim!