HAPPY PURIM!

For a number of years now I have been guilty of not getting into proper Purim spirit. Sure, there were reasons aplenty: our family is not together anymore, no money, no job, munchkins are not here, friends turned out to be radishes (non-translatable Russian jargon), Hussein is the President, our community is rotting and stinking from the head, our people are not using their gray matter and behaving like water buffaloes (especially during the Holidays) – well, the list is long, painful, and emotionally exhausting.

Add to this the fact that our enemies like to keep our wounds fresh; they love to make sure that each day of celebration is market by somebody's sorrow – and a very recent one, at that. I would never forget the Seder where one of the guests remarked right before the Shvach Hamatcho “remember the parents of Shalhevet Pass who are just getting up from Shiva”. And when it comes to Purim, we have the massacre at Merkaz Harav, which occurred on Rosh Chodesh Adar, and the murders of the Fogel family, may Hashem avenge their blood, which happened shortly before Purim. Yes, all this definitely adds to a lovely celebration and merriment.

But this year, about a week before Purim, it suddenly dawned on me: we celebrate despite all that! Because in every generation, heck, almost every decade, we have a new Haman who rises and thinks it would be a great idea to get rid of this one “people scattered and separate among the peoples throughout all the” nations. Safety is only a temporary illusion; we are constantly in danger (sometimes more, sometimes less) because we are still in galut – mainly due to our ignorance and sinat chinam. On Purim we remember that an evil bastard wanted to exterminate us all, with the full cooperation of the governing body (who did not even care about the loss of revenue to the treasury); only through the hidden miracles from the Almighty were we saved, and the wheels of fortune turned in our favor. We celebrate the simple fact of remaining alive despite the unbelievable odds! And we also remember once more that “united we stand, divided we fall” - a simple phrase, repeated so many times by so many different people in so many different circumstances – but not loosing its validity none-the-less. We eat, drink, enjoy life, and give gifts to each other; it really is the most joyous day of the year.

And so, this Purim, that's what I did – tried to celebrate it in the proper spirit. I am still jobless, money-less, and lonely; our community is still, well, by far not perfect; our people still behave like water buffaloes and still propagate idiocy and sinat chinam; our enemies are more powerful than ever and are coming at us from all sides; and the wounds from loosing our brothers and sisters to unending hatred are very fresh – but I smiled, sang, and danced regardless. Granted, I was costume-less (due to poor planning last fall), but as half of my wardrobe and accessories are “strange” and “funny” anyway (or the results of manic shopping choices), they did it instead of a real costume.

Also, went to my by now usual Purim meal in Riverdale. The food was great (I even ate and enjoyed turkey!!!), the company pretty good, and I had a great excuse to escape Brooklyn. Finally tally on the emptied bottles – 8!!! Americans can't drink properly, man!

I hope your Purim also rocked, peeps – because, hey, we are still alive and kicking! Am Yisrael Chai! Le'Chaim!

SHAVOUT

Thank G-d, this year we had an improvement in weather over the last three ones, the first rainy night non-withstanding (another hint?)

Personally, I had a very enjoyable Holiday, highlights of which include:

A very enjoyable first meal with great friends, where I met another couple who, of course, knew my sister. It's amazing, but usually when I introduce myself as "Sally's sister", it works about ninety five percent of the time, and everyone knows what I am talking about and immediately claims to see the resemblance. We started an evening with champagne, which turned out to be a little mistake, as overtired ladies became slightly sleepy, but it did not really diminish our enjoyment at all. Aside from great food, there was a great conversation and a lot of jokes. Plus, ladies got a chance to entertain themselves by observing the gentlemen, who, after being politely begged not to discuss politics, switched to wine and steaks, which they discussed with great enthusiasm for about an hour; after which they switched to matters concerning human anatomy and physiology.

First morning brought a chance for an extra bonding experience with Mini Not Me. I came in early (for a Yom Tov) to assist the beloved sibling in taking her beloved progeny for Birkat Kohanim. Mini Me was not in the best of moods; and finally I was dispatched to the place of worship with Mini Not Me (in case they would actually do everything according to schedule). Sure enough, beloved nephew and yours truly walked in just as Kohanim were saying "Baruch Ata..". We made it by the skins of our teeth. In the absence of the older sister, Fluffy behaved admirably, and answered "Amen" very sweetly (and when he was supposed to). On the way back we took a little detour in order to walk around our glorious neighborhood and look at the "beautiful flowers". It was also an opportunity for Mini Me to have a little bonding time with Mommy (who was obliged to take her to a different place of worship).

Then it was a great lunch with different friends. The food was also fantastic, and the company delightful and blessedly devoid of annoying people. Plus, LPC was there, and we were very glad to see one another. The general conversation was very pleasant in general due to the above mentioned absence of idiots.

The rest of the meals were spent with family and accompanied by usual family scene.

The recurring amusement of the hour was connected to my shoes. In case I did not mention it before, I am an epicurean when it comes to clothes and shoes, as in they need to be comfortable first and foremost; all the other considerations come after. In lieu of this, I usually wear flip-flops for about eight months out of twelve. High degree of comfort is paramount when purchase is contemplated. Price usually comes as a second consideration - necessary evil. Cuteness comes third (but still important). So, thanks to e-bay, I was in possession of a very comfortable and extremely cute pair of Vera Wang flip-flops (and I swear, the fact that they were Vera Wang had nothing to do with my acquisition). They looked quite ordinary if not for one important detail: they were decorated with fair imitation of the De Beers diamond. The amount of stares I got! Apparently, not only is it pass nicht to wear flip-flops in the Heilige Flatbush, those jewels basically slaughtered everyone I have encountered on the streets.

And, just to add additional excitement to the Holiday, George went after my Shavout bouquets - poor kitty was nutritionally deprived and decided to supplement his diet with fresh vegetation.

On the serious and sober note, I kept thinking about true meaning of this Holiday, how we perceive it, and there are we really on the spiritual level. That thought actually entered my mind few days before; it was supplanted for a little while with the usual excitement and a sense of peace that always comes with finishing all the preparations and lighting the candles; but then it came back. We are chosen by The Creator for a very special and unique mission; and on Shavout we re-experience the time when we were given "tools" to fulfill that mission. But where are we today?

Most of our brothers and sisters are non-observant; moreover, have little desire or inclination of even exploring the rich and unique treasures for observance and preservation of which their ancestors were brutally slaughtered by tyrants and angry mobs again and again. Our communities are full of, not to put too fine a point on it, shettel mentality. The situation in Israel brings tears whenever you try to dwell on it, and most of it is the result of Jewish actions, not our enemies’. Our religious educational system is thoroughly corrupt and rotten to the core; and the latest pedophile scandals are just one of the bitter examples. Our youngsters, imitating their arrogant, uneducated, and narrow-minded parents, themselves are narrow-minded, uneducated, and full of chutzpah. There are way too many single people and way too many divorces - and this time, you cannot blame feminists for it; the blame lies squarely on the shoulders of the so-called community leaders, who turned a seemingly natural process into a circus of monumental proportions. There is constant strife between different religious factions other the matters of absolutely supreme importance - like who wears a hat and how. The communities and individuals who are supposed to educate and lead the next generations to Torah are, again to put it mildly, not up to the task. And, the most painful of all, we are plagued by the curse that landed us in this exile to begin with - there is too much baseless hatred. Maybe we are supposed to fall to the 49th level of tumah again, like we did in Egypt, before the ultimate redemption comes? May Our Heavenly Father show us the way! L'Shana Ha'Baa be Yerushalaim!

HOLIDAY HIGHLIGHTS

Part 1

This past Holiday, just like any other, was a chance to visit as many friends as my feet would allow. In the process, I have accumulated some noteworthy highlights. So, without further ado, here is part one.

There are two "American" families that I usually love to visit. The reasons for this love are manifold, but mainly it is because these people are so "un-Flatbushly" friendly, accepting, and non-judgmental. Also due to their friendliness, there is always a chance that I would see somebody who would grade on my nerves (but I usually try to accept the goodness with a bit of badness attached to it). Unfortunately, during the visits to one of these houses there is usually a fifty percent chance that one of the guests would irritate my nerves to the extent that those same nerves would not be able to keep my yup closed; and the heated debate usually ensues (although my kindhearted friend usually calls it "difference of opinions"). This Passover, unfortunately, was no exception.

One of her married sons, in the best traditions of young marrieds studying in the Holy Land, was visiting for the holidays. And he was not visiting alone. A friend of his youth, a freshly minted attorney at law, also came for a celebratory meal. The boisterous conversation was progressing just swimmingly till something I said produced a half-joking warning not to tangle with yours truly, because, apparently, once I am a member of the NRA, I will shoot anyone and everyone who disagrees with me.

Upon hearing this, young lawyer visibly perked up and asked me if indeed I was a member, and if yes, why. Foolishly, I actually explained. Gosh, when will I ever learn? To summarize our lively and pointless discussion, here are the pertinent points:

He is a Republican (G-d help us).

He hates to admit it, but Obama is doing a great job so far (please see above).

I did not read the text of the Second Amendment; otherwise I would know that there is no such thing as constitutionally guaranteed right to bear arms (his conviction on both points was a joy to behold).

Only because NRA is the most powerful lobby, did we ever get it into our heads that governmental gun control is unconstitutional (later grudgingly agreed with yours truly that enviros are the most powerful lobby, not NRA).

Government has full constitutional right to interfere in the economy (what in blazes did he study again?).

He did not vote, since in New York it does not make a difference anyway (please see numerous previous entries).

Tobacco tax is perfectly fine (even if the majority of smokers are psychiatric patients); because they are harming themselves, and we just tax them in order to pay for their medical expenses (please see number five and number one).

Constitution is “a living, breathing document", and Supreme Court has full right to mangle it any way they want (please see number five).

There were many more interesting points of contention. What really made me laugh was his sage agreement with me when I pointed out that Obama never proved his eligibility for the office as a person born as an American, which is a constitutional requirement.

Among many things, that discussion made me wonder again as to the precise definitions of constitutional law and constitutional lawyer. Aren't all our laws supposed to be constitutional, seeing as we are, well, Constitutional Republic? And aren't all lawyers supposed to be constitutional, meaning know the constitution and strictly adhere to it? Also, using another old cliché, if this dude thinks he hates liberals (while he already bought about half of their bilge), why do I need enemies with friends like this?

Please see number one.

OK, WHATEVER YOU SAY

Here is a little chain of events, seemingly unconnected:

One not so fine morning few weeks ago, I have officially (and sarcastically) thanked (again) all the Obama supporters via Facebook. That outpouring of gratitude followed the blatant demonstration of black supremacy and racism witnessed by me that same morning on the way to work. One of my friends was slightly surprised by the fact that I am still bitter; according to him, by now it was only I and Ann Coulter.

One of my younger co-workers, who usually enjoys impersonating Childe Harold, being in his usual chirpy mood, kept sighing and complaining about the hard life. Upon hearing this, I politely suggested he visits Central Africa to learn about true hardships of life and even offered to purchase him a one-way ticket. His reaction? "I wish I could really go there!"

George, our cat, periodically goes on hunger strikes; the only reason we could detect is this: he would eat the food served to him, and then decide (for reasons known only to him) that it is no longer edible. At which point he would complain till he is literally horse, but will not eat the unpalatable offerings. Which, by the way, reminded me of a very first pet my baby brother had: a little hamster called Monster Ball, who did not usually stuff his check pouches and, unless he was really hungry, would totally ignore his food, even if it was literally landing by his feet.

When Bernard Goldberg's "100 people" came out in paperback, it graduated to "110" people, and only recently was I able to lay my hands on this edition. I did not get a chance to peruse it yet (my Dad is doing it right now), but here is my suggestion to the latest edition of people who "are screwing up America":

Number 3: US Congress and US Senate combined (with very minor exceptions)

Number 2: The current so-called President of the United States

Number 1: 61 million registered voters (minus whatever dead people were included in this number thanks to ACORN) who voted for this boy-wonder currently embarrassing and destroying our country from the 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, plus whatever number of registered voters who deliberately voted for any independent candidate in whatever protest, plus whatever number of registered voters who deliberately did not vote in this election because they continued to sit on their moral outrage. Whatever the actual number, the honor should go to all of them equally.

You see, even though I do not know Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, and the rest of the so-called conservative radio and TV personalities personally, and therefore cannot vouch with precision as to their emotional state, I am not bitter. I am heartbroken. It has been almost five months since that horrible day in November, and every day since then the nightmare just grows in its monstrosity.

In what other country on earth do you have cats that do not eat because they do not like the food, or hamsters that ignore their food?! Better yet, in the immortal words of one of the D'Souza's readers, this is the only country where poor people are fat! And on that note, in what other country do you have that high percentage of ungrateful swine, homegrown or imported (either voluntarily or involuntarily), who do not appreciate the beauty and unique premise of this country and instead go around with sour faces, complaining non-stop and praising any and all bloody dictatorships as the ideal country to live in?

Yes, "we have serious problems and we need serious people to solve those problems"; that does not mean surrendering at the first sign of those serious problems! Blind, deaf, and dumb sissies! Instead of fighting for this country that gave you everything, you surrendered it to its haters who are destroying it even as we speak! And the biggest part of this heartbreak is that amongst those in the first category are my relatives, friends, good acquaintances, and just Jews - people whom I love and respect, or at least like, and whose souls are connected to mine all the way to the Exodus from Egypt and Mount Sinai! But, hey, I am just a bitter right-wing nut job, and you, guys and girls, aside from being more educated and informed, were just exercising your right to chose! I should just relax, take a deep breath, and "give the dude a chance"; or, better yet, get a life, because, apparently, I should just broaden my horizons and acquire some more interests, aside from politics (my favorite being that my interest in politics stems from my being single and childless, ergo having nothing better to do).

Well, enjoy your choices and the freedom to make them! I only pray that when the final tally from those choices comes in, it will not be something on the magnitude of what I had to survive seven and a half years ago, and that still sometimes haunts my dreams (also a result of choices made by the majority of my people). May The Master of The Universe protect us all!

RELIGION 101

After getting hooked on Youtube, I have decided that both misery and bliss love company, and hooked my favorite gnomes on it too. The funniest part is that some of my favorite pieces became theirs as well.

Mini Me loves Hava Nagilah in all kinds of different interpretations. So, one fine day we were watching one of those; this one contained a collage of different pictures from the Holy Land. Being of the firm believe that the more information you impart on the younger generation, the more they learn and grow, I was giving explanations to the flushing snap shots. Few of them contained Western Wall, and I briefly touched on the destruction of the Temple. "But why did they destroy it, Papi?" Trying again to explain that the destroyers were "bad" people, who hated G-d and us as his representatives (not in so many flowery words). "But why?" Tried again, after which Golden Delicious just finished watching the clip with very serious eyes and an intense expression on her sweet little face.

Apparently, they were having some cursory discussions about the destruction in her play group as well. Now, whenever we are watching this clip, she keeps re-iterating that "Bais Hamikdash is beautiful, was beautiful", that "bad people destroyed it", and that "Mashiach will help us, Hashem will help us, Hashem will send Mashiach to help us build it again!"

Another discussion, unrelated to Youtube, happened one fine evening in the kitchen of my sister's house, where Mini Me was consuming her crackers with cream cheese in her clever attempts to evade her bed as long as possible. While she was thusly occupied, we were also carrying a very intelligent conversation about our mutual everyday concerns. During this conversation, we discussed (among many other things) our booboos. She was extremely concerned about my big ones on my legs (eczema) and urged me to go to the doctor and get cream for it. Eventually, her Mommy finished the basement chores, and yummy gnome agreed to go "upstairs" with Mommy. On the way there, she expressed her concerns about Papi's booboo, the necessity of going to the doctor and getting the cream, and finally pronounced, with unshakable conviction, that Hashem will make Papi better.

I get very emotional every time I recall those episodes. Her innocent faith touches me more than I can express. And I remember our Mom, whispering to us repeatedly not to tell anyone that we are Jews, her trying to host a Pesach Seder, and getting upset when we boiled franks in a little bowl she designated for milk.

Hear this, murdering Communist atheistic butchers? You did not succeed with my family!!!

Thank You, Heavenly Father, for allowing us to escape. Escape that horrible suffocating jail where we grew up, so that now we can freely teach Sh'ma to our little ones.

1000th

My very first teacher of Judaic studies, ZT'B, once told this slightly amusing parable to my Dad. It will loose some in the translation, but, hopefully, you will get the gist of it.

Jews are different from all the other nations. Gentiles have wisdom and stupidity distributed equally: some get more, some get less, but everyone gets some of both. With Jews, it is quite different: nine hundred ninety nine Jews get only wisdom, and the thousandth gets all the stupidity allotted for this group. They are called The Legion of the Thousandth, and all of them can usually be found in the Israeli government.

After receiving the extremely disturbing news this Motzei Shabat about the cease fire in Gaza, the first thing that popped into my mind was this parable. There is no other explanation for this unilateral surrender, aside from extreme stupidity and extreme cowardice. For the second time in two years, treacherous and corrupt Israeli government managed to snatch the defeat from the jaws of victory. They could have put paid to both Hezbollah and HAMAS, but no; something as simple and as straightforward as defending their citizens is "above their pay grade". Rockets are still firing towards the south of Israel, and HAMAS's jackals are doing celebration dances.

My little, slightly tattered note is staying in my prayer book. Please protect us, Heavenly Father! Protect us from all our enemies, especially the ones within; You are our only hope!

A LITTLE NOTE

(I have wanted to write this post for a little while, but now, unfortunately, it became current)

As mentioned before, my daily prayers are usually accomplished on my morning commute. To that effect, my trusty and much worn compact Artscroll Siddur had been a permanent resident in the succession of wacky purses I usually carry. Few months ago, while leafing through the usually unused sections of my Siddur, I have stumbled on a little paper stuck there.

The paper, ironically, was torn from one of those standard note pads one usually gets with the requests for donations from strange places one never heard of before. It is a little square made out of cheap recycled paper, and on top of it there is a quote in English from Psalm 23 "Only goodness and kindness follow me all the days of my life". The note itself contained four names, written in standard black ballpoint pen and half faded already: three of those names were the names of the soldiers, whose kidnapping started the last war with Hezbollah; the fourth name was a name of the unknown to me Israeli civilian.

Those were the people we were all praying for back than: kidnapped soldiers and civilians caught in the cross fire and asking their brethren outside of the Holy Land (through the chain of Rabbis) to beseech The Heavens on their behalf. Few days after I have discovered this paper, we all heard "breaking" news about Israel exchanging a whole bunch of Muslim terrorists and murderers for the remains of the two of the soldiers.

Today, a fresh name goes on the other side of this paper: a name of another IDF soldier whom I do not know, and who needs all the prayers we can offer because, while I am here, in the comfort of my office, sipping my tea, he is out there, in the harm's way, defending the Holy Land and our brothers and sisters. Defending them from the vicious thugs who call themselves freedom fighters and the followers of the only true and peaceful religion; baby killers who hide behind their just as vicious and just as murderous wives and daughters; and while this battle is taking place, the almost entire so called international community will shed crocodile tears for the "poor, innocent, homeless, displaced Palestinians". There will be moans and groans about the "humanitarian crisis" in the Gaza, followed by inevitable condemnation of the "Zionist aggressors".

Merciful Heavenly Father, please protect all your children and the Holy Land! Please do not forsake us!

SHERRY DIMARSKY

I was not privileged to know Sherry personally. Sure, every once in a while I would hear her name mentioned, always followed by "she is so great; you really should meet her". Due to my cynical nature, I usually ignore exclamations like this. OK, lots of people are "great" to an even bigger population segment; so what? What, or, rather, who actually changed my mind was, of course, my sis. She may be as cynical as I am, but, at the same token, she is way more sociable, friendly, and wise about people than I am, and thanks to her, I was privileged to get a glimpse of Sherry's personality.

Amongst many self proclaimed leaders of Jewish community and an even bigger number of do-gooders, Sherry shined as, for the lack of better expression, a genuine article. She was warm, funny, kind, helpful, and down to earth; in short, Sherry was just a wonderful human being and a Bat Israel in a truest sense.

I knew she had underwent a lung transplant, and I admired her tenacity and upbeat attitude. I also heard that she was not feeling well, so, when she did not respond to my last voicemail, I did not pay too much attention to it. Then I got busy with the usual nonsense life throughs at us; next thing I know, I get an e-mail saying that Sherry was very ill, that her body was rejecting the lung, and a request for prayers for her recovery. I can't finish the e-mail for tears in my eyes; I just quickly scan for her full name and say a little prayer. Next, when I check my e-mails again in the afternoon, there is one new with "Baruch Dayan Emet" in the subject. I do not even need to open it to realize what it means; thank G-d not many people were passing by my desk that day: it would be very hard to explain why I was sitting there teary-eyed.

When the terrible news have sunk in a bit, a hard thought followed: "only good die young"; and on the heels of it another thought, something I have learned a long time ago: when a righteous person is taken from us, no matter the circumstances, it is not the fault of the person; it is our fault because we did not deserve that person. These things keep turning around in my mind, over and over again, along with a little selfish thought that now she will never respond to my voicemail, and even if I decide to visit Chicago again, I won't be able to meet her.

Above all the jumbled and incoherent thoughts, I keep thinking about her family. They have lost a mother, a wife, and, most horrible of all, a child. May G-d comfort them.

FAST DAY

Today is the second fast day of the year connected to the destruction of the Temple. We always wish each other "have a meaningful fast", but how do you really make it meaningful in between hunger pangs, serious bouts of caffeine withdrawal, homicidal tendencies during the morning commute, your bosses idiosyncrasies, etc, etc, etc?

As my train was crossing the Manhattan Bridge (thank G-d I had a seat), I was indulging in my usual Manhattan Bridge routine (usual, that is, if I manage to have a view from the window). I was enjoying the view of the Manhattan skyline (which sometimes still brings sad memories), and different thoughts were flying though my mind. I was thinking again how lucky we are to live in America; I was also thinking that, despite all the wonderful things attached to living in America, we are still in exile, and the fact that we reclaimed the Holy Land as ours does not lessen this exile much, and sometimes even makes it harder.

Few weeks ago a thought that was brewing in my subconscious for more than a decade finally moved into my conscious. That thought is very sobering and very sad: we can not live as a community and not start behaving like proverbial spiders in a can. We can not just live together peacefully, acknowledge our differences, use our brains, and just simply respect, if not love, one another. No, we can never do that. We are surrounded by enemies; every single extremist organization all over the world directly or indirectly points to us as the source of all evil and considers our total annihilation as part of their mission statement. In the midst of all this we are very busy proclaiming the superiority of our brand of Judaism (or the lack of it) and denouncing every one else's. The insanity goes across the board from the so called Ultra-Orthodox to people who proudly proclaim themselves Jews but refuse to acknowledge any kind of religious affiliation, and every one in between. Your humble servant herself was witness to more than she wanted to hear or see, and if I start to describe every single incident of sheer idiocy that made my blood boil, I will be typing this entry till next Rosh Hashana.

Can we just take five minutes to stop, breathe, and remember that we are in the bloodiest exile in our history, for approximately one third of our history, and it already cost us millions of lives of our brothers and sisters? Can we then remember that the reason for this exile was our hatred of each other to begin with? When will the insanity stop? What use is is our praying, fasting and crying for our destroyed Temples if immediately after we revert to our "normal" ways? Heavenly Father, please grant us clarity of vision to finally see this!