Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! This special report is brought to you from a friendly local laundromat, overflowing with local barbarian populace. Happy Erev Shabat! Ladies, I hope the Rosh Chodesh was great, and that your spouses were extremely helpful, as usual. My feline companions do not take it kindly to my bringing home excessive amount of groceries that I have to unpack, or my running around and collecting stuff that needs to be washed - well, you are living with a neurotic person; deal with it!
As usual, the news do not disappoint: Kris Jenner (Kardashian mother) is trending at #1, because there are rumors of her divorce, and her daughter Kim is trending at #2, because it looks like the feud is brewing between her and the young Princess Kate, as Kim keeps copying Kate's clothes - at times like this I keep remembering Jay Leno saying something to the extend of who needs to destroy our culture from outside? He wants to destroy it himself...Meanwhile, our dear postal service just reported an annual loss of more than 15 billion greenbacks - does that mean they will severely delay the delivery of my junk mail and Con Edison bills? Then there is also a whole list of popular items that were banned for public safety - thanks, government morons! Your job is to protect us from illegal barbarians in this here country, not from backyard pools! No coffee cup report, as had to run out to do the above mentioned laundry.