MORNING UPDATE - May 23, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is still cloudy and strange, but bearable.
George thinks that the only reason I enter my room is to get in bed with him to pet and snuggle. Sniff, meanwhile, just sits by the door and looks at me with an almost adoring expression.
Two TVs were blessedly silent, and the third on had Telemundo on - on one hand, just a meaningless chatter; on the other hand - in freaking Spanish.
Meanwhile, in the parking lot, there was a huge white SUV with plates that read something like MAKEMAGIC and two oldish bearded Jews inside.
Currently trending at #2 is Gwen Stefani - because she took her son to some kind of baby class. Making sure her progeny develops brains that are absent in parents?
Trending at #4 is Jennifer Lawrence - because she admitted to bringing Slim Jims to the Oscars. My question is - where the heck was she hiding them?
Trending at #10 is someone called Katharine McPhee - because she filed for a divorce. Considering the commonality of celeb divorces, I totally understand why it's only on the 10th place.
"How a great vacation can change your life" - you actually had to write a whole article about it?!
"Completely giving up plastic products sounds great for the environment, but the reality is different" - duh!!!
"Foods that are good for you - and the planet" - oh, hell, here we go again!
"Man takes a moose to the coffee shop" - very original (although the article claims that it's normal in Canada).
"Using ancient myths to help modern warriors heal" - how about privatizing VA instead?
A huge turtle crushed wedding ceremony in St. Croix - but this wedding crusher was more than welcome.
The latest on Bieber is not to be repeated for the small children and the faint of heart.
The Queen, Will, and Kate will travel to France for the 70th Anniversary of the D-Day - at least one head of state who actually wore the uniform during the war and assisted in the war efforts.
Coffee this morning in the disposable cup from the usual overpriced place.

MORNING UPDATE - FEBRUARY 4, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The horrendous effect of anthropogenic global warming continue to plague our fair city (incidentally, FB does not recognize the word "anthropogenic" - oh, the irony!). Yours truly also continues to impress - yesterday a woman in Greenwich Village was horrified upon gazing at my bare calves towering over my Hot Socks and Baby Bro's snow boots.
Also, students do not make good snow plowers.
George continues to show signs of his OCD by refusing to drink from his fountain unless it is full to the brim. Sniff continues to demolish my hot pink flippies.
Heidi Murkoff also wrote a book called something like What to Expect When Mommy is Expecting a Baby - did not yet have a chance to see the sales records on this one. Fergie (the former princess, not the singer) wrote a children's book against bullying.
Currently trending at #8 is Britney Spears - because she met up with Lady Gaga in Vegas. Nevada's latest freak show, Harry Reid non-withstanding?
"Gwen Stefani's 'chunky' teeth photo irks fans" - wow, the problems some people have.
Miley Cyrus "wants to let girls know it's OK to be themselves" - really?!!!!
"Scary things caffeine can do to your body" - not as scary as the results of listening to this constant rigmarole.
According to the latest poll, DC is #10 of "the least religious" states in the country - really? Somebody needs to check their raw data - because no way are there 9 states that can beat DC in this area.
Kathy Ireland was proclaimed the #1 of SI swimsuit models, with Kate Upton at #2 and Heidi Klum at #5 - gentlemen, let the battle of opinions begin!
And, finally, rumor has it that The Queen wants Kate to "tone it down a bit" (meaning her wardrobe), but, as Kate's style "already evolved", the point seems to be moot - lady, with all due respect, just concentrate on really important stuff, like maybe Kate's papa in law.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug - the new version.

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 6

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's rainy and blah-y again, but still warm - at least for the next day or two.
Sniff is up to his usual - sitting on Baby Bro's bed and giving everyone dirty looks. George is in a bad mood, and after doing his usual complaining, plus sneaking in a dirty deed, he is now snoozing in his huge Amazon box.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual as well.
NO CNN today!!! Just Channel 11 on mute - thank you, Gd!
Currently trending at #1 is someone named Porsha Williams - because she finalized her divorce. I wonder how many more people did precisely that today.
Trending at #6 is Mandy Patinkin - because he shaved his "iconic Homeland beard". Congrats, Mandy! You look infinitely better without it (never mind a few months younger).
And trending at #8 is Gwen Stefani - due to showing "Biggest Baby Bump Yet". Oh, please! Just drive east from my house for about 20 minutes, and you will see baby bumps that Gwen never dreamt of.
Jay-Z and Beyonce went on a 22 day vegan "spiritual and physical cleanse" that may not be good for their health - I am not worried. As some of Hussein's biggest buddies, I am sure they are exempt from Obamacare.
Another report claims that their little darling "dresses better than you do" - wow! No joke, Sherlock!
"Miley style conundrum" - what conundrum? What style?
Joey Fatone from 'N Sync is loosing his hair - hence he got a "new gig" as a spokesman for Bosley Hair restoration.
San Fran is number 1 city for hipsters - our fair city of New York is only at #5, even though we got the biggest number of them living here.
"Justin Bieber Is A Free Man After Being Detained For Drug Search In Australia" - what else is new?
And, finally, Kate took a break from wearing royal jewelry and wore a costume necklace to the movie premier - it still sparkled in the pictures.
Coffee this morning in a disposable cup from the bagel shop next to the blessedly quite laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 18

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! The weather rocks once again - yippee!! George started the food complains bright and early and still did not stop. Sniff was running around like a demented gazelle once again - and once again Baby Bro said that we should enter him into feline sprinting and enjoy the results.
The TV was switched to ESPN and blessedly silent - thank You, Gd!!
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff but, again blessedly, without the additional help.
Currently trending at #1 is - drum roll once again - Kim Kardashian! And guess why? Oh, hell yes - because now we know for sure what her ex got for her old ring. Want to know? It's 749,000 USDs! Now we can sleep easier knowing the precise number.
Trending at #2 is Gwen Stefani - because her "baby bump made its red carpet debut"! AW!!! I wonder if her and Kim are buds and exchange notes on maternity fashion.
Olsen twins are trending at #3 - because they claim that everything they learned about fashion they learned on the Full House. With all due respect to the Full House, but, fashion?!!!
There is also a whole discussion about Nicki Minaj and what she did to her Lamborghini - in case you were wondering, she painted it pink. With all due respect to the Lamborghini enthusiasts - at least she spent her own money on it, unlike our dear Michelle and Hussein, who spent our money in order to deface our house that's on rent to them...so, yea, Nicki can paint that thing puce and stick Tinker Bells on top of it for all I care - as long as she keeps her nose out of politics
"16 year-old soup found in EPA office fridge" - the bastards were so busy destroying our economy and telling us how to flush out toilets that they forgot to clean their own stinking fridge!
"Katy Perry's latest look" - spare me, please!
"Lara Flynn Boyle: Too Plastic for Hollywood?" -what is this, inside joke? They all look too plastic, for pete's sake!
No news on Bieber - is he breathing? Did the Moscow violin players finally collect enough money?!!!
Coffee this morning in a styrofoam cup from a bagel place next to the blessedly quite laundromat.