MORNING UPDATE - MARCH 21

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is once again, well, not spring-y, and there were rumors flying yesterday that Phil committed suicide. The crazy upstairs is still quiet - hurray for meds! (Or did someone sneak in and break her vacuum cleaner again?) Last night George decided to snuggle in with me, which resulted in 2 nice scratches on my arm - Baby Bro claims that it was his attempt at mutual grooming, a sign of love in the cat world. Sniffles is still avoiding the top of the fridge for now and is looking for alternative spots to warm up and meditate. Our Pathetic Excuse of a President arrived in Israel yesterday and began his tour in a limo that broke down in the middle of the road - my sources claim that Israeli TV is having a field day; well, couldn't happen to a nicer person. And Dennis Rodman, our recent ambassador of peace to North Korea, appeared on Leno Tuesday night wearing light blue training pants, t-shirt, and ladies black jacket with pink flowers and pink faux fur trim - don't blame me, I am just a messenger. Kardashian Baby is currently trending at #5 - his daddy Kanye decided on a name North, so the future kid, which, buy some reports is a girl, would be named North West. At #6 - Seth MacFarlane splits with his girlfriend. Was his hosting of the Oscars that bad that she decided to call it quits? A cop in Michigan got a shock of his life when he opened the trunk of a car and the deer jumped out of it; the driver said he thought the deer was dead, and he was taking it home to feed his family. Good going, deer! Bradley Cooper, "the sexiest man alive", was photographed with pink curlers in his hair - please insert your own pithy comment here. Drake Bell (whoever the dickens he is) "dissed" Bieber on Twitter; Bieber did not respond, but his fans did, proving once again that our concerns for the future generations are well-founded. In the Kate news: "The mama-to-be was spotted browsing the Séraphine maternity brand Wednesday evening at Peter Jones department store in London." According to the sources, she liked a plain, but elegant black dress which retails for only 55 bucks - capitalism rocks! Also, people are "excited to hear she may soon start showing more" - which line I will shove down the throat of the next person who would dare to tell me that I don't have a life. No coffee this morning as roommate forgot to buy milk - DD in the not too distant future.

MORNING UPDATE - MARCH 3

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! The weather is a bit bla-y again, but not bad. Baby Bro resumed the grooming of George - the cat did not look so spiffy in a while! Sniffles decided to cuddle in the morning (did not even step on my hair), but after a bit of breathing in my ear tried to scratch me, and then proceeded to eat my blanket - yea, that cat is a riot! March is White History Month and also Stop Blaming Whites Month - wow! Trying to plow through all the whitie's achievements is going to be a daunting task! And, yes, they achieved all that during almost constant warfare - unlike African tribes, who only achieved cannibalism and slavery through theirs. Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe are both in the news due to their new projected roles: Radcliffe is going to play Igor in a new reboot of Frankenstein, and Watson is going to play Cinderella in another reboot of the fairy tale. My take: I don't care what they do, but as long as they keep their clothes on (for the sake of the youngsters who still watch those idiotic movies), and don't get into politics, they can play whatever or whoever they want. And - Mazal Tov - the wedding bells are definitely in the air for Jennifer Aniston! The upcoming wedding details "are slowly emerging" - well, whatever they will do, hopefully, she wan't get such raw deal in her second marriage as she did in her first. And it looks like USA has a new member of the diplomatic core - Dennis Rodman! It looks like he just returned from North Korea and brought a message to Hussein from Kim Jong Un! Kim wants Barry to call him! Gosh, could we please just send Rodman, Obamas, and all the defenders of communism and socialism straight to Kim - without any phone calls?!! I am sure he (Kim) can find all of them some useful occupation. Warning! There are untold dangers in microwavable popcorn - less, I am sure, than listening to any and all advice coming from all those studies, but what do I know. And guess what's trending right now at #10? Our dear Mayor Bloomberg was booed during St. Patti's parade at the Rockaways - and the dude looks mighty surprised, at that! And Rihanna explained her "controversial" gun tattoo in her recent interview to the British Elle - she got is shortly after her dear boyfriend beat her up, but in the end she does not feel like a victim! She feels strong and empowered! Yea, nothing says strong and empowered like going back to the dude who beat you up and made you get a "controversial" tat. Another preggo celeb is in the news - this time it's Kristen Bell. All she did to get in the news was to flash her pretty big baby bump - sheesh, the populace is so easily excitable! All the other famous preggers are mum for now. Ditto Bieber - I think he is getting over the hangover from his Birthday party. Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.