MORNING UPDATE - MARCH 17

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! The weather seems to be OK for mid-March - debating the flippies, though. The crazy upstairs is up and about again - and her vacuum was making extra scary noises today. Today is St. Patrick's day - the very thought of which makes some of my learned brothers and sisters very unhappy. Relax, people - live and let live! If a bunch of people wants to wear, eat, and drink green, get roaring drunk and have some fun - let them enjoy themselves! And speaking of St. Patrick - if he was able to drive the snakes out of Ireland, could he accomplish the same here and drive out dirty politicians, Obamas, Democrats, liberals, muslims, envirowacos, illegals, barbarians, 98% of the members of the press, union bosses, university professors, and the rest of that unholy cabal? Please?!! Miley Cyrus is currently trending at #4 because she got a new tat - "anatomical heart". Next time I paint my nails deep green would I make the same waves - because tats really do not appeal to me. Then there is a dude in Alaska that collects icebergs - but the only reason he does it is to use the melded ice for his premium vodka! That's what I call dedication to your craft. The last on Bieber is his tangle with Lohan - I wonder who would come out the winner. Kate was criticized by some kind of posh designer for having too much clothes (which is not good for the environment) - um, moron woman - reality check! If people don't buy clothes, you are out of business, you huge dodo! Interdependently of this, the Duchess was spotted shopping for maternity wear and was observed schlepping a pair of jean in the store - aw! Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MARCH 13

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is very nice for a NY March day - broke out the flippies yesterday. Georgie is lounging on my bed again. Earlier he made himself comfortable in the recycling box (as is his costume), and Sniffles decided to ambush him - old coot acquitted himself handsomely, and the young hooligan was forced to retreat. Yesterday's outing to Stop and Shop ended up without incident, and all the purchases safely reached my apartment. And here is what's trending at #1 right now: Miley Cyrus is "very, very much apart" from the love of her life (even though she got engaged to him earlier this year) - it looks like he did not like her new "wilder" look and also has been spotted with January Jones. Interesting way to cope, but than, I am not a dude. And at #8 - Elin Nordegren is rebounding with an older dude who is even richer than her ex - good for you, Elin! At #10 - Lamar and Khloe found "puppy love" - as in they got a new puppy. Well, as Kardashian news go, that's fine - because, again, nobody used 4-letter words and everyone remained dressed. And the Catholic faithful are waiting in vain for the second day - no new Pope yet. I feel for them, but fail to understand why is everyone else so interested in this. Supermodel and former Victoria's Secret "Angel" Karolina Kurkhova admitted that her belly button was always photo-shopped - Lord, give me patience! Belly button?!!! And then idiots wonder why girls have problems with their bodies, and guys have "slightly" unrealistic expectations. In the same vein: sushi is not as "healthy" as you think - which, once again, makes me repeat my favorite mantra: Enjoy food, because life is too effin short! Mark Kelly's monumental hypocrisy actually made headlines in the "regular news" - wow! And Lady Gaga is stepping out in style after her hip surgery: she got herself a costume-made wheelchair, which "features tufted calf leather, a removable leather canopy, and gold-plated wheels and hardware" - hum, interesting. New rumors about Kate: British papers claim that she is "at war" with Harry's new girlfriend Cressida Bonas, and that the rivalry is pretty long-standing and comes from the times when Kate was "competing" with Cressida's older sister for William's attention - historical fictions have nothing on real life, let me tell you! Also from the royal family - Prince Charles feels old while thinking about his future grand-kid - you are old, you bloody ass! And the British "boy band" One Direction (never heard of them before) sent their support to Bieber via Twitter, because they are amongst the few people in the world who understand his hardships - aw...where is the spittoon when one needs it?! Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.