MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 27

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Happy Eruv Chanuka! The weather is rainy, yucky, and blah-y - but at least it's not cold.
It looks like Sniff also has food preferences; if George is usually concerned with the freshness of the offerings, Sniff is very particular about how far into the bowl he has to reach. If the food is below certain level, he upends the bowl on the floor, and then proceeds to eat.
Yesterday had a very interesting discussion with two geniuses about the "sexism" of toys and boys's preferences for playing with guns.
Currently trending at #1 is Mario Batali - because he "invested" in 200 pairs of orange Crocs. Imelda Marcos, you two would have had some very interesting discussions.
Congratulations to Jennifer Love Hewitt on the birth of a daughter, who was given an almost unimaginative name of Autumn James. Poor kid is going to be teases mercilessly for having such a mundane name.
A whole discussion about possibility of Kelly Osborne's tweet being "disrespectful" - because she was not happy about Obama's visit blocking the traffic, and tweeted about it with the word president in quotes - off with her head! How dare she!
Once again, a bizarre list of what shoplifters love to steal: cosmetics, pregnancy tests, baby formula, men's razors, jewelry, underwear, condoms, and Iphone accessories. Interesting mix, to say the least.
"Why Sandra Bullock is happy being single" - what kind of question is that? Not having to deal daily with stupidity and unresolved mommy issues is simply nirvana!
A study finds that people whose first child is a daughter are much more likely to become Republicans - mom and dad, what's why you hate Dems! Because of me! Also, having sisters makes "males more politically conservative" - wow!
Justin Bieber released a new "sexy" video where he "makes out with a girl" - yuck, yucky, triple yuck!!
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 26

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is typical for the end of November, and water molecules are descending in some form or another.
Cats are still pretty lethargic due to cold - of course, it does not prevent George from complaining just a tad and Sniff from getting into mischief.
The crazy upstairs was extra diligent today.
Observed a city employee scraping papers from the lapmpost (they were there from at least the times of Bloomberg's first term), and then spraying Windex on the street light!
Currently trending at #1 is Sandra Bullock - because EW made her an Entertainer of the Year. Deep sigh of relief as it's not some asshole like Clooney, DiCaprio, or Damon. Also waiting on the report of Demon chomping on his moccasins.
"Kid-friendly video games" - they are called "books", ladies and gents!
"Revealing dress style dominates red carpet" - why is this even news? When they will dress like a bunch of Mormons, that would, indeed, be a front page topic.
"Getting HBO without cable" - another thing to cross off your bucket list.
"Billy Ray gives Miley a sporty new ride" - how about some caring parenting for a change?
Justin Bieber released another short film for his fragrance - move over, Charlie Chaplin!
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 25

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather took a completely arctic turn - not only can't I wear flippies, but I had to dig out my socks!
Kitties are not enjoying the weather either - Sniff keeps alternating between the pipe in the kitchen and the one in the bathroom, and George likes to hug a throw that I crochet ones.
Last week I had to shelve a thin biography of Dr. Blackwell next to over-abundance of books about Bieber - sad, that. How many girls who think that Bieber is the height of cool know about Dr. Blackwell?
And speaking of sad things - currently trending at #3 is George Stephanopolus, because he interviewed our sorry excuse of a Secretary of State. You know something - I prefer to hear about Bieber, after all.
There is also a whole discussion about "dazzling" outfits at the American Music Awards. Aguilera showed up in "low cut dress with strategic cutouts" - very original of her.
Miley Cyrus did something "bizarre and sexy" at those Awards - again, very, very original.
Gaga, of course, "upstaged" Miley at the AMA - what else is new?
"Delicious Thanksgiving sides without guild" - the word "guilt" should never, ever, ever, never be attached to anything related to food, especially holiday food!
Singles hate the question "why aren't you married yet" - duh!!! You just found out that one?!!
The rest is about football, so, as usual, no comment.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug - would dearly love to be there right now.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 22

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather became rainy and windy, but still flip-flop compliant. 
Sniff decided to snuggle with me, or rather my feet, for most of the night, and George came in the wee hours of the morning, demanding to be petted.
The public wanted to know how I celebrated my birthday - well, I took off from work; at my advanced age that's a great celebration!
Currently trending at #1 is someone named Brooke Hogan - whose apparent claim to fame was her engagement to some kind of football player, which she now broke, hence her shooting up to the top of the news.
Trending at #6 is Kendall Jenner - due to the excitement of digesting her date with some dude from One Direction.
Yet another dude, this time from Memphis, left his money and his home to his 2 cats - I wonder what cats could do with a quarter of a mil.
"Restaurants fret about possible Sriracha shortage" - what the hell is this?!! First turkeys, now hot sauce?!! Damn you to hell, Hussein!
"Liam Hemsworth "happier" without Miley" - I want to say "duh!", but also want to ask the spineless jerk why the hell he decided to propose to begin with, if he needed to "figure stuff out"?!
Then someone is analyzing who had more outrageous year - Miley or Gaga; really?!! Who gives a rat's behind?!
"5 things you may not know about One Direction" - spare me! I have enough from just looking at their so-called biography at work!
Justin Bieber "does not give a f--k" about his critics - how refreshing and classy of him.
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 21

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is simply great for a November day in NYC.
Sniff and George decided to be extra snugly today - and Sniff even proceed to lick my arm 
Somebody stole a bible yesterday - I wonder what kind of present it's going to make.
The latest issue of Men's Health is featuring a whole article on lip balms - please spare me these guys!
Currently trending at #1 is Ginnifer Goodwin - because she joins a long list of celebs who got pregnant recently. Seriously, who sprinkled what in their Evian ice cubes?
"Man's dog gets on Obamacare" - and so the circus continues.
And speaking of pets, a couple in Boston listed their feline companion as part of the family during 2010 census - after which the kitty was promptly called for jury duty. I was toying with an idea of listing our pets on the census and taking them to vote - well, I still got time before the next elections.
"Why Emimem went back to blond" - who gives a flying banana?
Wild turkeys invaded a neighbourhood in Staten Island - birds, watch out!
"Is (Kendall) Jenner romancing Taylor Swift's ex?" - interesting way to describe the situation.
A new Harvard study just found that people who eat nuts regularly live longer - well, duh!
Aussies don't really want to go to Bieber's concerts - hurray for peeps Down Under!
Kate "recycled" another outfit - another piece of breaking news delivered to us by HuffPo.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Bean Bag Plush mug with Mickey and Friends.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 20

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Another cold, but sunny day. George was extra loud this morning. Sniff, meanwhile, decided that he is a squirrel - he keeps trying to bury his food, in the process throwing his kibble out of the bowl.
Two nice ladies were looking for a new "Snooki book" - turns out it's a whole novel and it costs 25 USDs! A whole book!!!
Still wondering if Matt Damon had a chance to eat his shoes.
Currently trending at #2 is Kelly Clarkson - because she "announced pregnancy on Twitter". Man, what is in the water lately? A lot of preggo celebs.
Trending at #10 are Potter stamps - USPS released them, philatelists were "rattled". Why? Just take is easy, chaps!
Then there is another swimsuit on the market - this one is white, and costs only 1 mil. Run, people, run, before someone else grabs it!
"Researchers identify 5th type of boredom" - there is more than one?!!! Yea, I guess listening to plain morons as opposed to listening to liberal morons would produce different kinds.
Airplane cleaning crew found 24 gold bars in the plain's bathroom - I really don't want to know the whole story.
Fergie claimed that her son's name came to her in a dream - at least it was not a nightmare.
Adam Levine is proclaimed the newest sexiest man alive - really?!! Although, why am I surprised - their standards are sort of different than mine.
Bieber claimed that he met Mexican President; the President denied it; Bieber forced to retract his statement - at least everyone was dressed this time around.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 19

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather took a cold turn, but still sunny - and still flip flop appropriate.
Our cats, especially Sniffy, get the most amusing facial expressions while they are in the litter box - akin to politicians making a speech.
Another dude yesterday asked for a copy of Catching Fire without the picture of Jennifer Lawrence on it. Also, those effin Hunger Games are sort of getting to me - because when someone else asked where they could find To Kill A Mockingbird, I almost directed them to a copy of Mockingjay.
While watching the Food Network, it occurred to me that I can have a little fun show of mine own arm-wrestling all those chefs, because while it takes them a whole hand to squeeze a lemon, it only takes me two fingers.
Shopping at Stop & Shop is still fun.
Selfie is currently trending at #5 - because it "tops twerk as Oxford's word of the year". What a bloody achievement - both for the word, and for our level of education and refinement!
Trending at #6 is Jerry Seinfeld - because he threw a "bat mitzvah bash for his daughter". Mazal Tov!
"Jennifer Lawrence shows off an edgy look - and plenty of leg - at the L.A. "Catching Fire" premiere" - unspoiled by Hollywood, my coccyx!
"Kim K. turns vixen for wild Kanye video" - hum, to quote a fave movie, "something new and original for her"!
Also, a recent study found that "Breakfast Club" got "teen life wrong" - an academic achievement for sure, on the par of finding cure for cancer.
A couple of enterprising souls want to build a pool in the middle of the East River - you go, guys!
Eva Longoria is in a relationship - with some kind of "Latin American media giant". Great - expect more of her bloviating regarding the civil rights of the illegals.
Hollywood decided to ruin another classic and film a sequel to "It's A Wonderful Life" - I can only imagine how the modern interpretation of a guardian angel would look like! Yuk!
Snooki and JWoww decided to channel Paris and Nicole - now, who would have guessed while watching Paris and Nicole that something much worse would come on the scene a scant few years later?
"Justin Bieber releases sexy ballad "PYD" featuring R. Kelly" - all I want to say is that "Bieber" and "ballad" do not go together in one sentence.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 15

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is nice and mild - flippies were worn. 
CNN again - loud, damn it! 
George is warming up my fresh bedding. Sniff decided to do extra exploring around the place and is now resting on Baby Bro's chair.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff.
Observing liberals while they demand service is simply priceless.
Currently trending at #1 is cursive writing - because 7 states "are fighting" to have it taught in school. Really?!! That's the top thing fascinating the good populace this morning?
Victoria's secret million dollar bras are designed by a man - surprise! Plus, they are extremely uncomfortable - double surprise!
Leo DiCaprio bought a "health-centric" condo right here in New York. The said condo includes "vitamin-infused showers" - thankfully, it's also sustainable, otherwise we might have accused him of being a hypocrite.
"Gaga's fashion faux pas on SNL" - really?!! Her whole performance is one huge fashion faux pas.
A dude in Florida was arrested for impersonating a cop so he could get a discount in Dunkin Donuts - wow! Is the price on donuts that high in Florida?
It's 2 weeks before Thanksgiving, and Butterball is threatening with turkey shortages - only during Hussein's presidency did I hear of stuff like this!
Bieber is in hot water again - now he had to apologize to Argentina for kicking their flag on stage. Canadians, deal with your upstanding citizen already! Put him on house arrest till he straightens his non-existing gray matter!
And, finally, a whole explanation of how you can get Kate's "barrel curls" - just 5 measly steps, mind you!
Coffee this morning in disposable cup from a bagel store next to the CNN-blasting laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 18

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather seem to be affected by global warming.
Sniffy and I had to decide who is going to sit in my chair - friendship won, as I am sitting in it right now, and he is sort of snoozing in the cat house. George is strangely quite somewhere.
I enjoy interacting with people who read the book reviews in the Times - simply priceless!
Both Bruce and Kylie Jenner are flitting around top ten for about 24 hours now - because Kylie does not "remember life before fame", and Bruce celebrated his birthday with a pony tail. Needless to say, both pieces are profound and earth-shattering.
Trending at #8 is Jennifer Lawrence, who is supposedly "untouched by Hollywood" - I'll believe it when I stop seeing the headlines about her "sexy" or "edgy" outfits. On a side note, last week a woman asked for a copy of the book that had "different cover" - meaning the one without Jennifer Lawrence on it.
Meanwhile, someone named Kim Zolciak (keep forgetting who it is) is currently trending at #1 because she showed off "enormous baby bump" - bid dratted deal! Just walk into any neighborhood in Brooklyn where "poor and disenfranchised" live, and you will see baby bumps that are way more impressive than Kim's.
"Hollywood Royalty at gala" - spare me!
"Mickey Mouse turns 85" - happy birthday, Mickey! Many happy returns! Just make sure your present handlers take their head out of their behinds and stop bowing to the gods of political correctness.
Bieber's fans are wondering if he shaved his head after he appeared in a baseball cap - needless to say, Bieber's fans should get a life.
Then, of course, there is an obscene amount of sports-related news that mean pretty much zip to me as I have no idea of what they are talking about.
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 14

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is, well, appropriate for a November day in our fair city - still am not opposed to wearing flip flops.
Sniff got into all the food bowls first, played with his toy without human assistance, and is now resting in the cat house. George did minimal complaining, finally managed to eat in peace, and is now resting in the big Amazon box.
Randi Zuckerberg is another person who recently joined the list of the notable authors of children's books.
The crazy upstairs is surprisingly quite, but somebody else decided to compensate by making an awful racket in the hallway.
I got the new American Girl catalog yesterday - my commiserations to all the mothers out where who likewise got it, together with their daughters' unreasonable demands. Just tell them that American Girl is becoming increasingly un-American, and that should be the best excuse of not getting any of their products.
Yesterday a woman who looked unbelievably like a pure Aryan complained about the lack of books on African history - interesting, that.
Currently trending at #1 is Melissa Joan Hart - because she "kisses and tells" in the latest interview, meaning she was telling about all the leading men she kissed - either in character, or in real life (with details, of course). Very informative and definitely top-spot worthy.
"Why Spears wears the same clothes in public" - isn't recycling anything a worthy endeavor?
Victoria's Secret had its annual fashion show, including the prerequisite bra, excuse me, bustier, worth a cool 10 million - I wonder why nobody remembers starving kids in Africa at that particular time.
Prince Charles just turned 65, ergo he is entitled to his $175 a week of government pension - even thought he did not work a day in his life.
Tina Turner filed papers in order to relinquish her American citizenship - good riddance! With Gd's help, Sean Penn and Eva Longoria to follow shortly, together with all the other America haters.
"Bieber-funded social network" - I really don't want to find out what the heck is means.
Kaley Cuoco loves her horses so much that she wants to include them in her wedding - that is going to be interesting, to say the least. Another issue of Modern Bride?
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug - old edition.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 13

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is November cold - but as it's above freezing, I can still wear flippies.
Sniff is on the kitchen window sill, patiently hunting the local two-legged fauna. George did minimal complaining, ate old food, and went back to sleep in his huge Amazon box.
Currently trending at #3 is Kim K. - for being cited for speeding on LA freeway. That's it?!!! Of, for crying out loud! Who does not speed on those stinking freeways - assuming, of course, that they are not stuck in traffic. Seriously, what a letdown!
Immediately after her is Kate Hudson - who "admitted" that she can't afford designer clothes. She claims that she splurges sometimes, but with two kids and school tuition, she can't really afford all those glamours "dudes". Heck, I did not know Kate's children attended yeshiva.
Bunch of idiots in California stole a credit card, went to the burger joint, ordered a mountain of food, and asked the worker to take pictures of them and the food, after which they proceeded to upload it on Instagram. Needless to say, they got nabbed. Serves them right for having absolutely no imagination!
Then there is a whole article dedicated to Avril Lavigne's "unusual" wedding. Oh, come on! There was already a whole discussion of it, especially her black gown! Apparently, now the whole subject was resurrected because her ring did not receive sufficient attention. I wonder if Modern Bride would dedicate a whole issue to this topic as well.
"Coffee prices fall, but not at Starbucks" - duh! Just stop patronizing their burnt coffee! There are plenty of other places where you can get a great cup of java!
You can also see a new trailer starring Angelina Jolie as Maleficent - man, does she look the part!
"Swift lands off-key Victoria's Secret gig" - et tu, Taylor?!!
A computer glitch at the University in Dresden sent a email to all its students, informing them that they were unenrolled! And you thought Germans did not have a sense of humor!
No news on Bieber - I guess he is still recovering from his food poisoning.
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 12

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! We had snow earlier - so, no flippies today. 
Sniff decided to wake me up by walking on my hair, and then I was greeted by his Egyptian god expression coming from the cat house. George was unusually quiet almost the whole morning, and then he decided to make up for it a bit. For now he is snoozing on my bed.
Seeing people with strollers in Greenwich Village is very strange.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual, and this time some kind of Morse code coming through the kitchen wall is adding to her noise.
Among the things that Brits in America miss are tea and bacon - tea I understand, but bacon?!!! What an insult!
Currently trending at #1 is Robert Downey Jr. - because of the "birthday bash" he threw for his wife's 40th birthday. Well, at least he is being a decent husband, so, I guess that deserves the top spot.
Trending at #5 is the New Batsuit, that's "designed to impress" - instead of the Batman himself, I guess. Sad, that.
A lot of people are "rushing to get married" today as it's 11/12/13 - according to one reporter, it was initiated by men: because this way they will never forget their anniversary. Poor sods!
Trending at #6 is Jessica Simpson - because she is "slimming down". Well, duh!
Justin Timberlake was, apparently, honored by GQ as their "man of the year", and he "used this occasion to blast critics" and tell them that "none of your opinions counts" - you keep it classy, Justin.
Venezuela's "women dominate Miss Universe" - oh, what a great accomplishment that is!
And, finally, Bieber walked off the stage during his concert again, this time blaming it on food poisoning - not brain poisoning?
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 11

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a great week. The weather is on the cold side, but still nice enough and flippie-compliant.
Salute to Veterans!
George demands to be patted almost constantly - nothing new, but somewhat increased due to, most probably, colder weather. Sniff keeps amusing us with his attempts to hide their food; he also decided that coat closet is to be his primary residence, and greets all the incoming into the apartment by rolling out of the said closet.
The way self-proclaimed intellectuals raise their children simply baffles my mind.
Currently trending at #5 is Rebecca Romijn - because in the latest interview she claimed that "she is done having kids". Um, hurray for human race?
Trending at #4 is Million Dollar Swimsuit - which was "modeled" by the freshly crowned Miss Universe. I am sure all the poor people in her native Venezuela were overcome with joy and national pride upon gazing at the pictures of her in the suit.
Conan O'Brian is "under fire" - because he twitted about latest Marvel (Muslim) superhero, claiming that "She has so many more special powers than her husband's other wives." Poor Conan! He forgot the cardinal rule of liberals regarding insults to religious people: "You Shalt Not Touch Muslims!" Religious Christians and Jews - please, have a ball! Touch Muslims, and you will be crucified - and yes, I know that I am mixing up my religious metaphors. I almost feel sorry for the poor jackass - till I remember all the heaps of garbage he piled up on different right-wingers, and I barely contain myself from cackling with glee.
Miley Cyrus decided to light up a joint while accepting her MTV Euro Music Award - oh, spare me! After all her other "performances", that is such not a big deal!
"Khloe seeks advice on Lamar" - that particular drama turned into soap long time ago.
Tireless journalists from Boston Globe run a piece about Ted Cruz, quoting his former Harvard Law classmates, who claim that he was "nakedly ambitious". Wow! What a shining example of courageous journalism! Still waiting on the interviews with Hussein's classmates from Columbia and some of the women featured in Clinton's "bimbo eruptions".
And, finally, according to E!Online, Kate actually has some gray hairs - which she did not dye for a while and was forced to cover by some kind of black beret. Another profound, albeit different, piece of journalism.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 8

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is perfect for a November day - still went out in flippies. 
Sniff was hugging the warming pipe in the kitchen for the whole morning, and George requested an extra helping of chicken - they are definitely in the cold weather mode.
Tea kettle finally arrived; ditto for the key.
The list of noted children's book authors also includes such intellectual giants as Jessica Lange and Jim Carey.
Liberals manage to make even great places like public libraries stink to high heavens.
Currently trending at #6 is Portia de Rossi - who "opened up" about her "coming out"; fascinating and, most importantly, unique.
Trending at #2 is Mariah Carey - who "Hits New High on Social 50 Chart". I have no idea what social 50 chart means, but something tell me it's not something akin to Mensa.
"Why Holmes left Cruise" - big deal. Why she married him to begin with would be a more interesting topic, as the dude is clearly deficient in the upper story.
"New J. Lo Barbie doll slims her famous curves" - it looks like Mattel reached a new low: not in "slimming curves", but in producing a J. Lo doll.
"Kaley Cuoco's ex opens up" - wow, Leonard and Penny used to be an item in real life?
"How to look better in photos" - to quote Zhvanetzky, "the reflection in the mirror needs changing".
A boy in Kansas was suspend from school for schlepping around with a Vera Bradley bag - seriously?!!! The school administration has nothing better to do than to police the way students carry their stuff around?!!
In the news of hairdos: Pamela Anderson told Ellen that she "stole her hairdo" - well, she is safe in doing it, as, according to Men's Health survey, more than 58% of men admitted that she was their first sexual fantasy - ergo nobody would accuse her of being a lesbian.
Another jackass from the clothing industry opened his big yup - this time it is someone called Dennis Wilson, whose company produces yoga pants. In response to complains about the quality of his product, he claimed that "some women's bodies...don't work in the pants". They are exercise pants, you moronic asshole! What the hell is there to work?!!!
The latest Star Wars movie would be released in the summer of 2015 - I wonder how many fans are dusting their outfits and when will they starts to get in line for the tickets.
"How to join Twitter" - this is a joke, right?
"What to do in a shooting" - pull out your gun and shoot back! Unless, of course, you are deprived of your Second Amendment rights by the well-meaning moronic bastards. In which case, pray for your life.
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 7

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's rainy, yuk-y, and blah-y - well, it's November. According to Baby Bro, Jews have only themselves to blame for this weather, as have been praying for rain three times a day for the past month and a half.
Sniff is extremely amusing to observe during his food consumption. George got yet another nice box - this time from Brawny paper towels.
Yesterday dude came all bunched up and prepared for an altercation as he asked for the new Rush Limbaugh book - little did he know 
Crazy upstairs got another competition from somewhere else upstairs in the form of incessant banging.
Breaking News! Both Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lawrence cut their hair! Stop the presses, ladies and gents!
"Kate Upton knocks off Kate Middleton look" - as it had nothing to do with "jiggling" breasts, Upton looked simply ridiculous. Sports Illustrated did not comment one way or another.
FDA, eager to prove that they are pretty essential, came back in full steam and banned the trans fats - thanks, guys and gals! What would we do without your wise guidance as to what we are supposed to put or not put inside us?!
"Supperrich Klum drives modest car" - she is not a guy, for pete's sake!
"Marvel comics introduces Muslim superhero" - suicide belt not included.
Some enterprising soul bought Napoleon's will for half a million bucks - interesting investment of money.
Our esteemed Vice President congratulated the wrong person on being a mayor-elect of Boston - since when is this news? If, on the other hand, he would have called the right person - that would be front-page material.
"Bieber allegedly filmed sleeping by girl in Brazil" - what is so film-worthy in any adult sleeping, especially Bieber?!!
And, finally, speaking of hair, there was a whole article dedicated to Tom Brady's "hair evolution" - oh, give me a break! Now we are interested in the guy's hair?!!
Coffee this morning in my funky glass Cappuccino mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 6

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is nice and mild for November. Sniff is also unusually mild. George is sitting on the windowsill in front of me and watching the leaves fall.
Congratulations to our fair city on electing a new mayor who represents the best that our worst have to offer - I wonder if in four years we would still be popular with tourists.
Speaking of mayors - Men's Health gave our esteemed Mayor Bloomberg some kind of health innovator award, and the latest issue of Glamour is featuring an interview with his daughter, in which she waxes poetical about the things she learned from her dear daddy. To paraphrase Forrest's mother, stupid is as stupid does.
The crazy upstairs started late yesterday, but made up for it in the noise and the length departments.
Currently trending at #2 is Vivien Leigh - who would have turned 100 just about now. A nice reminder of what a beautiful, talented, and classy actress looked like.
"What your pet is thinking" - if you really know the inner workings of the minds of my pets, I suggest you see a human doctor, usually referred to as "psychiatrist".
Lady Gaga splits with her long-time manager - my heart bleeds borsch for both of them.
"Red carpet looks Swift loves and regrets the most" - oh, give me a break! She is young and extremely photogenic - so the males of the species gobble it all up; and females usually get blinded by the red carpet itself.
LA customs agents found a motorcycle that was stolen in 1967 - my confidence in our law enforcement just skyrocketed.
New trend in wedding gowns - a bikini; still white or off- white, decorated, beaded, embroidered - you name it; plus - the requisite veil! Would be really interesting to show to grandkiddies.
"Justin Bieber Releases Movie Poster for His Fragrance 'The Key'" - I wonder if the brothel sheet is present in that poster.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 5

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! It's warming up a bit - another decent November day. 
Sniff is trying to improve my housekeeping skills by continually getting into the waste basket under my desk and playing with wadded up papers he finds there - thereby making sure I empty the dratted thing more often.
Baby Bro also pointed out that George is a veteran of countless battles, and as such deserves extra consideration.
Yesterday I realized that DWTS is on it's 17th season - oy, gevalt! But then another recent discovery - that of the Grey's Anatomy being on it's 10th season! - sort of put a different spin on it. Combined with continues popularity of Honey Boo Boo, it also sort of explains some of the election results.
Currently trending at #1 is Renee Zellweger - because she got "a new man, a new career", and, most importantly, "a startling new look"! Definitely front page news, ladies and germs!
Trending at #2 is Selena Gomez - as she "covers the Teen Vogue" and also confessed that she "prefers true love over one-night stands". Selena, what can I say - you are a shining role model to our young women everywhere! 
Trending at #6 is Jon Gosselin - because he claims that reality TV gave his kids "developmental problems". Well, duh!
Trending at #8 is Samsung Galaxy S4 - because, according to the Daily Mail, it "beats" iPhone 5S "for battery power". Dinosaur confession - I just want a new phone that still has a real keyboard!! 
"'Thor' star sizzles in revealing dress" - I assume just sizzling with talent is not enough. Where the heck is Gloria Steinem?
"'Real Housewife's' star practices witchcraft" - big deal. If she was working on improving her brain or, gasp, supporting right wing women in politics - that would be news. Wicca - pffft!
"Why we still care about the Kennedys" - because we have too many loudmouthed morons among us.
"Katy Perry dethrones Justin Bieber on Twitter" - to me it's a complete toss up, as I can't stomach either of them, albeit for different reasons.
Jay Leno also claimed last night that Bieber wasn't just "spotter" leaving the brothel, but that he tried to escape through the back door using a sheet for cover - here is a picture for you, boys and girls.
And, finally, according to Entertainmentwise, Kate is "planning 'post-baby makeover'" - seriously?!! Another piece of earth-shattering news.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 4

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is on a chilly side, but sunny - not bad for November in our fair city.
Happy Rosh Chodesh Kislev! Ladies, please remember the usual drill.
The advent of the cold weather brought in slightly different behavior in Sniff - he re-discovered his favorite pipes in the bathroom and the kitchen, and is also taking to hiding in the coat closet. George got a new Amazon box, which he promptly appropriated, but did not move his trophy mouse there as of yet.
Tea kettle is still in transit.
The crazy upstairs got some competition from the outside.
Some strange people decided that they are qualified to write children's books; among them are such luminaries as Jewel and Mark Kelly.
Natalie Portman claimed that the reason she "landed" the role in Thor is because she is short, which makes her co-star look very tall next to her - a nice summary of her work in this movie.
Kate Hudson made the fashion news with her "daring" sparkling gown - which, in my humble opinion, simply resembles a mermaid costume.
Our fair city is soon to add "the world's skinniest skyscraper" to its skyline - as long as it is going to be the tallest in the world, I am all for it.
"Khloe frets about Lamar" as he can't be reached while she in on a camping trip, and that's not the first time it happened. Didn't she kick him out already? This melodrama is getting way too long and confusing.
"Russia's frill-seeking tycoon" is planing a trip to the space with his buddy Leo DiCaprio - a match made in heaven. I mean, who cares about Russian homeless kids, which number in millions and top the numbers recorded after the Glorious Revolution, when you can travel to the stars with your envirowaco actor friend? I assume the carbon footprint left by this particular junket is going to be as minute as my round trip to work on the subway.
In the Bieber news: he was "spotted" in a brothel in Brazil and also "stormed off the stage" after being hit in the head by a water bottle - I sincerely hope that that whack on the head finally re-arranged his brains. As for the other, I hope they did not have any buckets in plain view.
And, finally, Us Magazine dedicated an article to describing how Kate redecorated Kengsington palace - a manual on how we might beautify our living space?
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug (the older version).

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's a first day of November - so it's cloudy and rainy, but still pretty warm.
Kitties are sleeping on their self-designated beds - George on mine and Sniff on Baby Bro's. This morning they probably heard my alarm as they both showed up the minute I got up.
Still waiting for the tea kettle to arrive.
Ina is showing how to set up cocktail table - and she is offering to make only 3 snacks to go with the cocktails! And this is how you recognize an off-the-derech-Jew! 3 snacks! Oy vey!
Men's Health had a whole article dedicated to scientific explanations of why men are so fascinated with breasts - and concluded with anatomic explanation of why Kate Upton's breasts "jiggle". I am sure the subject is paramount to, well, men's health.
Currently trending at #2 is Demi Moore - because her divorce from Ashton may be "finalized soon". Took them long enough, that's for sure.
Trending at #3 is Obama's approval - which "hits all time low". No joke, Sherlock!
Trending at #7: Honey Boo Boo - because her family dressed up as "Kardashian/Jenner clan" for Halloween. Man, I really don't know which picture is more terrifying: the real Kardashian/Jenner family, the real Honey Boo Boo family, or either of them dressed like the other.
Guy Fieri is also trending somewhere in the top ten - because he got into a "nasty fight" with a hairstylist. Well, I wonder why - not enough hair gel?
"How bad are things between Kate and Jon?" - who gives a flying banana?
"Faster, cheaper ways to clean the bathroom" - if you want fast, you hire a cleaning help - but it won't be cheap; if you want cheaper, you do it yourself - and it won't be faster.
"Texas man arrested for overdue library book" - wow! And I thought our libraries sucked.
"How unhappy couples text" - we do live in some strange times.
"Bieber debuts graffiti art" - the dude is definitely multi-talented, what can I say.
Coffee this morning in a Styrofoam cup from the bagel shop next to the laundry that only had ESPN on today.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 31

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's getting cloudy outside, and there is a strong chance of rain - not a park weather, but still flippie-appropriate.
Spent a nice morning with cats calling them, in turn, moron and jackass. For now they are snoozing - George on my bed, and Sniff - on Baby Bro's.
The poor tortoise that got roped into delivering books for the library is apparently hiding somewhere.
Today is October 31, ergo the last day of the month, ergo another month of my forgetting to claim my Godiva freebies - hell, damn, fart!
I am also currently missing a key to the front door.
According to the survey in Men's Health, 9% of women "dig" guys who buy organic food - I wonder if they are the same women who thought that Bill Clinton was sexy.
Also in the same article - Seattle is America's "most organic" city. Yet another point in a long list of why I really don't want to live in Seattle.
Currently trending at #6 is Kerry Washington - because she is also pregnant! The reports of maternity fashion, weight gain/loss, diets, etc, etc, etc, to follow shortly.
Trending at #7 - a moron of female persuasion from North Dakota is planning to give the kids she considers "obese" a "stern-worded" letter addressed to their parents together with candy. Can we just add her to parteigenosse Michelle's staff and safe the good folk of North Dakota?
Kanye claims that Kim will take his surname after they are married - all I can think of then I see the latest reports of Kim and Kanye is an old phrase by Zhvanetzky that loosely translates as "lovers from the world of pigeons".
Some dude decided to offer a different explanation on Miley's and Robin's infamous performance - my only questions is "you got nothing better to do with your time?"
"Vanity Fair scores an interview with Liberty Ross, whose to-be-ex-husband had an affair with Kristen Stewart" - honestly, who wants to air their dirty laundry in the press, especially in something like Vanity Fair?
"Snowden lands job in Russia" - what a bloody surprise!
Someone called "water sommelier" is offering his very expert opinion on what water is best for different occasions - I wonder who has money enough to burn plus a leaking hole in the head to listen to this one and actually follow the "advice".
"5 reasons to ditch fresh produce for frozen" - how about I buy and eat anything I can damn well afford?!!!
"Fears of global wine shortage grow" - SOS!!!!
Camaro is reported as the "most stolen sports vehicle" - take that, import snobs!! Go USA!
"Justin Bieber and Miranda Kerr - their flirty, "dirty texts" revealed!" - where is the spittoon when you need one?
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 30

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The air is supposed to warm up a bit - nice October day!
The former gods of the ancient Egyptians are very sleepy this morning: George jumped on my bed as soon as I left and stayed there; Sniff is hugging Baby Bro. 
Our building got relatively new tenants whose little offspring is not happy about the daycare choice; in my more mischievous moments I feel like popping out and imparting some wisdom on the kid, i.e telling him what I used to do to avoid going to kindergarten.
People of New York are beyond strange and crazy.
The tea kettle is still in transit.
Currently trending at #1 is Alyssa Milano - it looks like her dissatisfaction with the Charmed remake is making waves.
More pictures of celebrities who dress up as Miley Cyrus - thanks, but my mind sorta needs a break.
Kate Upton added another magazine cover to her portfolio - this time she starred on the cover of the Golf Digest; men's obsession with that ridiculous game will probably triple now.
"Why "Thor" went shirtless" - don't know, don't care.
"Obama falls in the latest "Most Powerful" list" - duh! Should we be surprised?!!!
"Skorts are cool again" - man, how boring is my life! I never bothered to learn which fashion items were cool, or a no-no, or cool again - shudders!!
"Is sugar more addictive than drugs" - well, stupidity is definitely not curable.
Yahoo has a cute slide show on the 5 most memorable product launch failures - and Obamacare is at #5. Unfortunately, unlike the case of failures of Neflix, Coke, Ford, or Apple, we are the ones who are paying for this particular disaster.
Bieber, meanwhile, is building a school in Guatemala (shirtless, of course), and even gave one kids his shoes - awww. The Guatemalan government is totally welcome to his services - and this way the street performers in Moscow can concentrate on something more productive, like their own orphans.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug - need magic to deal with the morons of the world.