MORNING UPDATE, June 17, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there - beginning with mine!  The weather is far from promised sunny - but as long as it is not triple H, I am more than happy. Curry was threatened with sausage factory for his shenanigans - at which point he just looked at me and went on the fridge, where he is currently slumbering while hugging Aunt Jemima. 

Snooki's pregnant belly is getting so big that she is getting around in a scooter - the nation can sleep peacefully after learning this piece of breaking news. Oklahoma City was pronounced the most manly city in the USA, and San Diego - the least; I am surprised that San Francisco did not claim that honor; and our fair city of New York missed the mark for both 5 most and 5 least. LiLo was explaining the paramedics visit to her house - again, now we can rest easily at night. And Jay-Z claims that he discovered a softer side after becoming a father - awww; too bad he never apologized for the hospital shenanigans when that daughter was being born; his softer side will also, apparently, not cure his blatant racism. 

Coffee this morning in my white Target glass.

MORNING UPDATE, June 21, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! No comment on weather except to say that if you live on the first floor of the apartment building that was build in 1940, your windows are facing north, and you do not open them - you can actually survive without a/c (which would not have been working properly anyway - phooey on Con Ed!). Last week George decided that taking naps in the bathtub is fun and beneficial for his general health - hopefully, pictures to follow. 

Breaking news of the hour - Mena Suvari's "daring" black dress and J. Lo's new hair style - how would we survive without knowing it? Or seeing the pictures of Snooki's animal print covered house? Or the prolonged discussion about Johnny Depp's love interests? Shudders!! The results of the new study are in - birds love to poop on the red cars more than on any other colored cars! Also, Alec Baldwin dropped his pants on Letterman - and Letterman followed suit! Ah, the things I miss due to my crazy list of TV programs I boycott due to my radical political views! And our fantastic, gracious, classy First Lady claimed that her desire to give her girls the foundation for their dreams is what drives her - along with concern for all our children; that is probably why her dear hubby saddled our grandchildren with unimaginable debt and is working tirelessly on dismantling the security of our country. And speaking of Parteigenosse Michelle - I am very concerned for the employees of the Travel Channel! I mean, they keep running hour-long specials on donuts, stakes, hot dogs, ice cream!!!! 

Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDAT, July 19, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! "A disturbed man with long ties to Muslims" blew up a bus full of Israeli teenagers - news worthy of the sixth spot on the search list. #1 - Emmy nominees are announced, and Mad Men are leading the pack; no comment. Jay Leno had Newt and Snooki on last night - gosh, what a show did I miss! Mila Kunis claims it was a horrible idea to pose provocatively while still in school - my heart bleeds borsch for her troubles. There is also a protracted discussion on Willow Smith's past and present wardrobe - circuses, here we come. And yesterday I found out that Justin Bieber has a ladies' perfume on the market - be still, my heart.

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MORNING UPDATE, September 27, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! 

Babies are dominating the news: Snooki's baby is trending at #4, and Kourtney Kardashian's baby weight is at #2 - fascinating, simply fascinating! Jessica Alba's haircut is at #7 - our priorities are straight! Prince Harry is also floating around the breaking news - because nobody else gets naked in Vegas. And speaking of Brits and stupidity - Emma Watson has a collection of about 20 Bibles: gifts from religious idiots seriously concerned with witchcraft and its deadly influence on the young minds. Men shared their creative ways of saying I love you - how about just not being a jackass at least half the time? That would proclaim his love like no chocolates or perfume ever would. Another lengthy list - what to bring to college and what to skip; well, brain protection against liberal brainwashing from the professors and strong hide to withstand the tolerance of liberal students - that should top any freshman's list.

MORNING UPDATE, October 25, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is expected to be yucky again compliments of whatever is coming our way from Cuba - thanks, Fidel! 

Demi Moore has a collection of rare dolls - now I am in a famous company, yay! Snooki wanted to "look good" while giving birth, going so far as to bring high heels with her - what planed is this woman from? SJP was spotted in a "frumpy" outfit - I guess Michelle Obama's bad fashion sense robbed off on her. Jennie Garth is trending at #9, because she went on a date! - well, as long as she is not sticking her nose in politics, let her enjoy her date. News of Biel/Timberlake wedding are still trickling in, and now we have a discussion about the song for their first dance - gosh, that must have been some wedding. And the longest non-stop airline route, which for some reason is trending at #3, is from JFK to Hong Kong - cool. 

Coffee this morning in my sad/smiley faces mug.

MORNING UPDATE, November 4, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a great week - hopefully, much better than the last! It's sunny and cold outside - well, November, here we come! Both cats recovered from their hurricane experience and are not clinging to me or my space anymore. Thank The Good Lord, we are back to normal time! 

Snooki is trending at # 2, because she twitted a picture of her baby - nice to know that Jersey Shore is alive and kicking. Nicole Kidman's hat is trending at #6 - literally because Nicole Kidman wore a My Fair Lady impersonation hat to the Kentucky Derby - I am sure the freezing residents of Staten Island were the first to google it. Then there is a discussion about which winter décor is tasteful and which it tacky - oh, for Pete's sake! It's your house, decorate it any way you want - who gives a flying banana for some snooty moron's idiotic opinion? And finally, there is, apparently, a sure way to kill a zombie - libtards, watch out! 

Coffee this morning in my huge yellow Winnie the Pooh mug that Nat send me for my birthday a while back.

MORNING UPDATE - December 12, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is so far not bad for a December day in our fair city. George went back to eating turkey. Sniff is fighting with imaginary devils once again.
I don't know which governmental agency is responsible for the price of eggs, but I would like to thank them - deeply, warmly, from the bottom of my heart!
The crazy upstairs woke up late, but with a vengeance.
Regnery sent me an email claiming that women read much more books per year than men and as such, books would make a great gift for a woman - well, duh!
Speaking of emails - I did not know that Jeb Bush and I are on such friendly terms.
All currently trending top ten are basically different gift options; at #10 are cashmere socks - wow, who knew you could have such luxurious almost undies!
"L.A. preps for Big One" - meaning they are anticipating a huge earthquake. Considering their voting propensities, I would suggest that they already got hit with the Big One - and help hit the rest of the country.
"America's biggest closet hits the market for $13M" - three story closet with a staircase!!! Wow! Texans don't do anything small.
"Why models' abs aren't all that healthy" - really?!! You need another explanation of that one?!
"Snooki opens Etsy craft shop" - the lady is truly multi-talented!
Our own New York city is a #2 travel destination for Christmas - that's why yours truly avoids Midtown like the plague for the entire month of December.
"The vast majority of vegetarians and vegans go back to eating meat within a year" - I am sooo surprised!
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - April 4, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's raining again - but still not bad, so I can wear my flippies.
Sniff got his usual maggot-in-the-brain attack around 5 am this morning (as opposed to the usual 9-10 am), and ended up waking me up while doing his crazy horse routine around my head, my bed, and my night stand. George just did his normal whining for breakfast.
All three TVs were on, but silent!! YAY!!
Currently trending at #1 is Kate Gosselin - without any explanations, just a bunch of photos.
Trending at #4 is Darth Vader - who, apparently, wanted to become a president of Ukraine. Alas, Ukraine does not want him - bummer, as he is much less corrupt than their own government.
"How Mark Zuckerberg is spending his billions" - wow, he has something else to spend it on, aside from campaigning for the illegals? Nice to know.
Snooki is pregnant again - does this mean another book on pregnancy is in the works?
"Hillary Clinton on sexism" - "double standard is alive and well". Of course it is! Only hard-core feminists like her allowed to do the stuff she did to Bill's former girlfriends, and still be lionized by the feminist establishment.
Jon Hamm is also all over the net because somebody unearthed his early appearance on some kind of dating show - with bad hair! Ouch! Stop the presses - John Hamm had bad hair!!!
Coffee this morning in a disposable cup from an overpriced bagel shop next to the blissfully quiet laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - February 5, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Our fair city is plagues by both the results of the catastrophic global warming and the latest mayoral elections. I was also informed yesterday that by denying global climate change I am denying science.
Sniff is not hugging the pipe yet, which means it's not so cold. George got a hefty doze of catnip last night in order to make him pipe down. He still complained for about an hour, after which we realized that it was his OCD striking again - his fountain was not filled to the brim, hence George was thirsty.
The crazy upstairs is at her post.
Snooki's new baby book is out.
Jennifer Lawrence used to be a model for Abercrombie - interesting, very interesting.
A professor in Austin sold his possessions and is relocating to a dumpster in order to teach environmental science - um, dude, there are pills available for what ails you.
Zuckerberg is not planning to have kids in the near future - sigh of relief for the kids.
"Really bad advice from romantic comedies" - who the hell is taking advice from that?!!
The Queen ordered Kate to "lower her hemlines" - wow! When did she visit BP?
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - January 8, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's supposed to climb up to 35 degrees today! Please don't forget your sunblock!!! As a matter of fact, it was so warm in Kentucky that a dude turned himself in shortly after escaping from prison!!! But both ships finally broke free of ice and "are no longer requiring assistance" - yay, hurray!
Cats are not that cold this morning as evidenced by their more active demands for food. Of course, only George whines - Sniff just sits and looks at you.
The crazy upstairs is non-frozen and undeterred in performance of her daily ritual.
Yesterday a colorful-looking costumer wanted to interrupt my phone conversation with another costumer in order to find out where the religious books in Spanish are located - no comment.
Currently trending at #1 is someone named Chloe Gosselin - turns out that's some kind of French supermodel who is engaged to David Copperfield.
Trending at #4 is Velveeta shortage! What the hell?!!! Turkeys, hot sauce, and now cheese? That alone earns comrade Hussein the right to be tarred and feathered and drummed out of DC!
Snooki is shocked to find out that, according to DNA testing, she is not really Italian - I am sure the Italians breathed a collective sign of relieve.
"The best diets for 2014" - oh, for pete's sake! Eat, drink, be merry, and enjoy life - that's the best diet!
Spirit Airlines is using legalized pot to advertise their flights to Denver - very enterprising! Hum, extra ticket for an honorable mention?
Jelena is back and "hotter than ever" - whatever.
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 20

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Another cold, but sunny day. George was extra loud this morning. Sniff, meanwhile, decided that he is a squirrel - he keeps trying to bury his food, in the process throwing his kibble out of the bowl.
Two nice ladies were looking for a new "Snooki book" - turns out it's a whole novel and it costs 25 USDs! A whole book!!!
Still wondering if Matt Damon had a chance to eat his shoes.
Currently trending at #2 is Kelly Clarkson - because she "announced pregnancy on Twitter". Man, what is in the water lately? A lot of preggo celebs.
Trending at #10 are Potter stamps - USPS released them, philatelists were "rattled". Why? Just take is easy, chaps!
Then there is another swimsuit on the market - this one is white, and costs only 1 mil. Run, people, run, before someone else grabs it!
"Researchers identify 5th type of boredom" - there is more than one?!!! Yea, I guess listening to plain morons as opposed to listening to liberal morons would produce different kinds.
Airplane cleaning crew found 24 gold bars in the plain's bathroom - I really don't want to know the whole story.
Fergie claimed that her son's name came to her in a dream - at least it was not a nightmare.
Adam Levine is proclaimed the newest sexiest man alive - really?!! Although, why am I surprised - their standards are sort of different than mine.
Bieber claimed that he met Mexican President; the President denied it; Bieber forced to retract his statement - at least everyone was dressed this time around.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 19

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather took a cold turn, but still sunny - and still flip flop appropriate.
Our cats, especially Sniffy, get the most amusing facial expressions while they are in the litter box - akin to politicians making a speech.
Another dude yesterday asked for a copy of Catching Fire without the picture of Jennifer Lawrence on it. Also, those effin Hunger Games are sort of getting to me - because when someone else asked where they could find To Kill A Mockingbird, I almost directed them to a copy of Mockingjay.
While watching the Food Network, it occurred to me that I can have a little fun show of mine own arm-wrestling all those chefs, because while it takes them a whole hand to squeeze a lemon, it only takes me two fingers.
Shopping at Stop & Shop is still fun.
Selfie is currently trending at #5 - because it "tops twerk as Oxford's word of the year". What a bloody achievement - both for the word, and for our level of education and refinement!
Trending at #6 is Jerry Seinfeld - because he threw a "bat mitzvah bash for his daughter". Mazal Tov!
"Jennifer Lawrence shows off an edgy look - and plenty of leg - at the L.A. "Catching Fire" premiere" - unspoiled by Hollywood, my coccyx!
"Kim K. turns vixen for wild Kanye video" - hum, to quote a fave movie, "something new and original for her"!
Also, a recent study found that "Breakfast Club" got "teen life wrong" - an academic achievement for sure, on the par of finding cure for cancer.
A couple of enterprising souls want to build a pool in the middle of the East River - you go, guys!
Eva Longoria is in a relationship - with some kind of "Latin American media giant". Great - expect more of her bloviating regarding the civil rights of the illegals.
Hollywood decided to ruin another classic and film a sequel to "It's A Wonderful Life" - I can only imagine how the modern interpretation of a guardian angel would look like! Yuk!
Snooki and JWoww decided to channel Paris and Nicole - now, who would have guessed while watching Paris and Nicole that something much worse would come on the scene a scant few years later?
"Justin Bieber releases sexy ballad "PYD" featuring R. Kelly" - all I want to say is that "Bieber" and "ballad" do not go together in one sentence.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! Happy first day of August! The weather is getting worse again, but still not bad, although the a/c had to be on last night. Sniff came in to snuggle in the wee hours, licked my hand, and then plopped down on my face. After that he was waiting for me at the bathroom door, breakfasted with me, and is now sitting on top of the couch and contemplating his next move. George decided to skip the usual routine this morning and just continued sleeping on top of the bookcase.
Of the four different stamp designs we have Baby Bro chose everlasting love for our rent check - interesting move.
Happy Belated Birthday to Harry Potter - and Joanne Rowling!
Guess who is trending at #1 right now? Nope, that passed. Monica Lewinsky! Because the new details of her affair with Slick Willy came out, and, well, public needs to know. But, despite the news, Bill's lecture fees did not go down in price.
Helen Hunt is trending at #4 because she is going to "direct herself" in some kind of new movie - listen, you want to be in charge of your career, go for it! Just please refrain from any and all political involvement.
Trending at #7: Kristen Stewart - it looks like fame got to her head a bit, and she "flipped out on paparazzi". It's sort of newsworthy, but not really interesting due to lack of originality.
Trending at #10: Selena Gomez. It looks like she gave yet another interview about her new album, her 21st birthday, and, of course, Bieber - I think her fans need immediate intervention! I mean, how many times do they need to hear about all this?
"Snooki's classy bikini look" - what is this, a contest on who could come up with a bigger oxymoron in their headlines?
Another one: "What K-Fed looks like today" - um, does anyone still care?
The discussion about Pauley Perette's t-shirt is still on - for more than 24 hours?
And, finally, according to Hollywood Reporter, the royal baby was "Bigger News Than the Pope, Obama's Second Inauguration" - way to go, little Georgie!
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 28

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is not so bad for NY July, which fact feline companions loved once again, especially Sniff. He did his usual crazy running routine for a good portion of the morning, and is now resting on my bed. George also did his usual - asked loudly for fresh food, fresh water, and more petting, after which he retired to the top of the book shelf. They are also officially on the regular food; for a while it was diet variety, then a combo of diet and regular, and now, considering how much exercise they are getting, they are getting only regular.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff.
We got a new intercom panel! It has 3 buttons: "talk", "listen", and "door", as opposed to the old one, which had only 2 - "talk" and "door", so, yes, wast improvement - and being new and shiny does not hurt either.
Also, please don't ask why one of the burners is currently sitting on the top shelf of the fridge.
Jeff Mauro was doing "healthy" sandwiches - 2 vegetarian and one with grilled chicken! I guess, being from Chicago, he has to listen (or at least make believe to listen) to Michelle's edicts.
Jennifer Aniston is currently trending at #3 because she claimed that she already feels married to her Justin -ah, lady, don't rush! They get very skittish when you move the time table on them!
Trending at #7 - Selena Gomez! Why? Because Justin Bieber attended her 21st birthday party! Come to think of it, what the heck was I doing on my 21st birthday? Why can't I find anything in the old news?
Amanda Bynes is also very much in the news because she is on "mental health watch" since Monday. What took so long?
In the news of fashion: Selena again, this time together with Kourtney Kardashian. Both of them wore knee high gladiator sandals with very short shorts - and now experts in the field are deciding who looked better. This is definitely newsworthy, people, like, definitely!
"Snooki's trainer shares weight loss secrets" - how about education and mind-improving secrets?
"Most Millionaires don't think they are rich" - duh! Just remember what you could by for a 20 about 20 years ago and now - and you totally get them.
And, finally, it looks like Prince George will get costume made cuff links for his christening from Prince Charles's goddaughter - what the heck he needs them for is a different story.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 26

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! We are officially experiencing the first heat wave of the summer - @#%&! 
Yesterday I realized that one of my dear pets scratched my face while I was sleeping - George is the likely suspect since he spends more time on my bed, but Sniff is not off the hook either. Last night George again slept with me, while Sniff slept on my office chair. Now they are sleeping again - George on my bed, and Sniff in the cat house.
Food Network and Cablevision finally fixed up their computers, so they don't say that there is Paula Deen on when in reality it's someone else. Also, they (Food Network) claim that after you open a bottle of wine, you really have to finish it within a day, or it will go bad - I guess they never visited my house.
ION keeps showing Mercury Rising - curioser and curiouser.
Emma Watson claimed that she did not really realized how famous she was till she went to college - she needed a college education for that? Wow!
Snooki is sharing her workout photos with us - thank you, I will skip.
Miley claims her wedding plans are still on - good luck to you, and especially to any and all progeny!
"Celebrities with half-shaved heads" - another one I really don't need to see.
"Haircuts that work best for round faces" - just ask my sister to give you a cut, or go to my hairdresser in Midtown.
A crazy couple in Connecticut could not settle on a name for their unborn baby, so they asked costumers in local Starbucks - the result beat North West by a long shot.
And, finally, "Kate Middleton is being called on to breast feed the royal baby to set an example for new moms everywhere" - idiots galore.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 12

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather rocks! 
Happy 25th Anniversary to my family! Gd bless USA and the memory of Ronald Reagan!
And, now, to weightier matters.
Feline companions are enjoying the good weather - they are less sleepy and more aggressive. George also became more vocal (it that is possible) since he re-acquainted himself with wet food - the requests are frequent and very loud. Sniffles is much less demanding - at least in this area. For now they have divided the spheres of influence in Baby Bro's room: Sniff is on his bed, and George is in the huge Amazon box.
Godiva send me a reminder about upcoming Father's Day - they are obviously not that familiar with my dad and his personal taste in chocolate if they are seriously suggesting I buy some of their stuff for him.
Emma Watson "stole the show" in a low cut dress - spare me. If any female celebrity "steals the show" dressed like a Mormon or a lady from PB, that would be news; this is not.
Heidi Klum is currently trending at #3 because of her drunken argument with a boyfriend - already? I guess the bliss did not last that long.
Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer finally revealed the names of their twins after 10 months! Their poor fans! And here I thought that the few days it took for the Tatum's fans to find out about his baby were hard!
"Snooki's Most Elegant Look" - here is an oxymoron for you.
"Surprisingly useful things to do with vodka" - don't embarrass yourselves, people! You just figured those out?!! Russians have known it for centuries!
Justin Bieber was caught flirting with Miley Cyrus - I guess the Jelena is over once again. What would it be now? Melena? Cyber? Jumi? The possibilities are endless.
"Even the hermit who spent 27 years alone can't escape the Kardashians" - ouch!
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug - in honor of the magnificent weather