MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 21

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is simply great for a November day in NYC.
Sniff and George decided to be extra snugly today - and Sniff even proceed to lick my arm 
Somebody stole a bible yesterday - I wonder what kind of present it's going to make.
The latest issue of Men's Health is featuring a whole article on lip balms - please spare me these guys!
Currently trending at #1 is Ginnifer Goodwin - because she joins a long list of celebs who got pregnant recently. Seriously, who sprinkled what in their Evian ice cubes?
"Man's dog gets on Obamacare" - and so the circus continues.
And speaking of pets, a couple in Boston listed their feline companion as part of the family during 2010 census - after which the kitty was promptly called for jury duty. I was toying with an idea of listing our pets on the census and taking them to vote - well, I still got time before the next elections.
"Why Emimem went back to blond" - who gives a flying banana?
Wild turkeys invaded a neighbourhood in Staten Island - birds, watch out!
"Is (Kendall) Jenner romancing Taylor Swift's ex?" - interesting way to describe the situation.
A new Harvard study just found that people who eat nuts regularly live longer - well, duh!
Aussies don't really want to go to Bieber's concerts - hurray for peeps Down Under!
Kate "recycled" another outfit - another piece of breaking news delivered to us by HuffPo.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Bean Bag Plush mug with Mickey and Friends.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 8

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is rainy and blah-y, but at least it's not very hot. Feline companions are both quietly snoozing on my bed.
After observing some people in the laundromat, I am not so worried about my neurosis and OCD anymore.
Despite her starring role in Sharknado, Tara Reid does not know much about whale sharks - at least she does not want to teach biology in a major university, unlike Martin Sheen, who wanted to advise President Bush on how to be a President.
In the news of hairdos: Beyonce got a short haircut - will that stop her from being a disgusting human being she is now?
For the first time ever Barbie is going to be carrying a Coach purse - and, no, I don't want this one for my birthday, thank you very much.
"Upton felt 'terrible' after first swimsuit cover" - no comment.
Lady Gaga performed "in the buff" to make some kind of point - I really don't want to know what kind of point she was trying to make, and please spare me the pictures.
Esquire Magazine printed detailed instructions for men on how to correctly roll up their pants - and, no, I am not making it up.
"How much water do you really need to drink" - allow me to demystify this topic: if you are thirsty, you drink; if you are hungry, you eat; if you are not sure if you are hungry or thirsty, take a drink first; and, finally, if you are not thirsty, there is no need to drink.
"Algae: The Secret Ingredient in Beauty Products" - as long as people are not forced to run their cars on it, we are good.
Justin Bieber reportedly brought home two hot cocktail waitresses after brawling in the night club - nice multitasking.
And, finally, Will is planning to get Kate a customized gift in honor of Georgie's birth - the people in the know claim that it is going to be a brooch. Funny, for some reason I don't see a brooch as an ideal accessory for Kate, but then I am not married to her.
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 12

ood Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is not as bad as in the beginning of the week, but still suck-y - well, we will just have to survive another 2 months or so.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual business.
Feline companions complained about life (separately), demanded attention (likewise, separately), dined (one right after another), engaged in a scuffle, and are now co-sleeping on my bed (see the illustration on my wall). Also, keep forgetting that Sniff actually snores - get a bit of a shock every time I realize who is making those noises.
Another testament to male logic: found James Herriot's "All Things Bright and Beautiful" in a box labeled "romances" - how romantic are the memoirs of a vet, I ask you?
According to the latest issue of my monthly bible (aka Glamour Magazine), 75% of men who died during sex were cheaters - I wonder who was collecting the data on this one.
Trending at #6 is the latest fish oil study that claims that too much of this healthy substance increases the risk of prostate cancer - once again proving my motto "eat, drink, be merry, and enjoy life as much as you can".
An astronaut recently filmed a short video of her washing her hair in zero gravity - I never knew before this that there is such a thing as a shampoo that you don't need to rinse out.
A dude in Illinois was arrested for stealing identities of 50 costumers in the steak house he was managing in order to finance 2 Disney cruises and 15 trips to Disney World for himself - wow! And I thought I was addicted to that place!
Janet Napolitano is leaving her post as the head of DHS in order to become a president of the University of California - I don't know who is going to replace her at DHS, so a bit early to clap from joy, but the students are definitely screwed.
And, finally, according to Us Weekly, Kate's fave dish during pregnancy was a vegetarian curry - a very valuable information indeed!
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

MORNING REPORT - JULY 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Happy first day of July! It's raining outside, but at least not so stifling inside - man, do I love the summer in New York!
Dad is continuing his attempts to put the harness on Sniff and take him for a walk. Incidentally, yesterday one of our heighbours was duly impress with his (Sniff's) size. George is sleeping in his amazon box.
Marc Summers was showing the production of turkish toffee somewhere in PA - and you could clearly see OU-D on the boxes and wrappers - I love this country! Ina was making Texas chili with her friend and getting a kick out of the fact that 2 Jewish girls were cooking chili.
Justin Theroux is currently trending at #1 - and not because he hates LA, while his fiancee, Jennifer Aniston, hates NY. No, the reason he is trending at #1 is because, apparently, he goes commando while jogging in his beloved New York - really need to know where he likes to do that in order to avoid seeing it - because the mental image alone is spittoon worthy.
Congratulations to Jessica Simpson on the birth of a son on Sunday - and congratulations to the baby boy who is stuck with her as a mother and the name Ace Knute Johnson!
The study of Chilean mummies revealed that in pre-colonial times people of all incomes had "nicotine habit" and also enjoyed hallucinogens - nothing is new under the sun.
Tomatoes are a "superfood" that can improve your skin, protect you from cancer, and even "promote healthy sleep" - so, next time you can't fall asleep, just munch on tomato instead of drinking alcoholic beverages; I can so see it becoming a trend (not).
Justin Bieber was seen in Vegas with "ANOTHER New Mystery Girl" - I wonder what name this couple is going to get.
Coffee this morning in my clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 3

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! It's raining outside, but there is no triple H - thank Gd! Feline companions do not appreciate the rain and are now sleeping - George on my bed, and Sniff by Baby Bro. By the way, I think this is the week when Sniff is being nice to my roommate, as all he did at night was to sleep in the cat house - there was no snuggling on my bed.
Recent discovery - donating blood to NY Blood Bank is a better experience than donating to Maimonides hospital - the phlebotomists know what they are doing, and afterwards you actually find out what blood type you are.
Daniel Radcliffe doesn't just want one tat - he wants to get lots of them, once he is finished filming all his "naked scenes". Oh, come on - there is such thing as makeup, Daniel! Go ahead and ink up!
Courtney Love Cobain recently twitted to Amanda Bynes, urging her to "pull it together" - which advice, coming from Love, looks like a height of delusional mania grandiosity.
Portia de Rossi is trending at #2 now because of fans "wild speculations" about whenever or not she had plastic surgery - considering how plasticy she looks to begin with, I think the discussion is moot.
Tatum baby is trending at #3 - even though we still don't know either the sex or the name of the said baby.
Trending at #6 is Kardashian baby: the public finally found out that Kim and Kanye are having a girl - yippee!
Speaking of which - Bruce Jenner is trending at #2 for "slamming" Kanye about "never being around" - trouble in paradise?
An apple a day is apparently beneficial for your memory; the other beneficial product - red whine! Interesting - so, if we drink white wine, we forget all the garbage men visit on us, but if we drink red whine, we remember it? Points to ponder.
Justin Bieber was "driving around" with a "mystery blond" - oh, heck, Jelena over again?! Also, he claimed that he is enjoying "much needed time off" - ditto, Justin. We would really appreciate time off from you.
And, finally, Kate Middleton was "slammed for 'glamorous pregnancy'", making it hard for "real pregnant women" - yea, because being pregnant and having no privacy is fun; it is also very hard to figure out that if you have gobs of money and personal attendants, your pregnancy is "more glamorous".
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 14

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! Happy Erev Shavuot! The weather is on the cool side, but sunny - I am actually loving it; even thought procrastination paid off again, and I was happy that I did not put away my warm blanket ;)
 The crazy upstairs is at it with a vengeance. Sniff decided that the window George now likes is good for him as well - and he is not going to make a dainty cat-sized hole in the blinds, darn it! Right now he is enjoying the cat house while George is away; George, meanwhile, decided that he wants his amazon box back - but we are already using it for recycling.
 Paula was making a cheesecake! Ina was also baking some kind of gooey deliciousness with caramel sauce - yippee!
 A joy to watch! Carrie Underwood is trending at #1 right now because she claimed that she is not ready to have kids - social services in her state thank her for being honest and not providing them with extra work. At #5 - is Beyonce pregnant of not? If she is, we really need to know this time as soon as possible so that doctors, nurses, and, most importantly, expectant parents, would be prepared in advance and stay the hell away from Lenox Hill Hospital. At #7: "Selena Gomez is rocking a bikini in Mexico" - and I rocked a one-piece in Aruba, so what? At#10: new study shows that Americans should "sharply" cut their salt intake - Americans should sharply cut the immigration numbers and the amount of foreign aid, not to mention the amount of time they spent being concerned with what they are eating. Katy Perry "rocked the stage" in some kind of leather outfit - when she stops feeling the need to rock her clothes and just sing, then it would really be newsworthy. Rihanna earned the title of "sexiest bikini body" from Victoria's secret - heck of an achievement! I personally miss Betty Grable - in more ways than one. Hotels in Hawaii are more expensive than the ones in our fair city of New York - even being a fake state of Hussein's birth adversely affected their economy! And, finally, "Karl Lagerfeld Would Have Kate Middleton Show More Cleavage" - Karl, go back to your emaciated models and leave a good thing alone!
 Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - APRIL 30

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather seem to be improving - sun came out, yay! Sniff re-discovered the cat house, and George is, once again, snoozing on my bed. The crazy upstairs is back with a vengeance. Baby Bro got himself a Galaxy Note - congrats to him! Which also brought to me once again the realization of what a dinosaur I am - because I hate touch-screens, and it looks like no one is making new phones with keypads anymore. Marc Summers is talking about movie time snacks - watch out, Marc! There are 4 - FOUR - benefits to a late-night snaking - go figure. The Kingdom of Netherlands got a new king, who "pledged to use his ceremonial position as head of state to help steer his country through uncertain economic times" - Your Majesty, how about remembering the glorious past of your freedom-loving country and dealing with the muslim scourge? Out of 12 top America's boom towns 4 are in Texas - go, Lone Star! Of course, DC made it on the list as well - as I said before, cowardice, treason, and hatred of America pays big time. Out of 13 ways to lower your blood pressure, #1 is not putting more than 41 hours a week for work - yea, and then you are going to develop hypertension on unemployment. Good news though - dark chocolate and red wine lower your blood pressure as well, yeppeee!!! Kelly Osbourne claims that hula hooping, which she did as a child, helps her keep in shape; among other hoop aficionados, however, are parteigenosse Michelle and Beyonce - thanks for ruining my childhood fun for me! Frankenfish spotted in NY city - oh, big effin deal! We got Andrew Coumo for a governor, Michael Bloomberg for a mayor, and Chuck Shumer representing us in the Senate, plus untold millions of barbarians invading our city - frankenfish, please! Who gives a flying banana?! "Miley Cyrus gives Justin Bieber some much needed advice" - yea, speaking of lame leading the blind, or however you want to describe it. While in Greece on vacation, Kardashians were dancing and smashing the plates the Greek style - here is an image for you. And, finally, this is how Will and Kate spent their second wedding anniversary: he was on duty with his squadron, and she visited children hospice - so far, they are shaping to be so much better than his parents! Coffee this morning in my black Target glass.