MORNING UPDATE - September 8, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather decided to go into the Indian Summer mode, and, this being New York, the results are not the best.
Sniff continues to nominate himself as a mashgiah for every cleaning, which necessitates isolating him for his own good. George can't figure out if he likes minced turkey or not.
Still did not restock my booze - an embarrassment to my un-missed Russian heritage. 
Crazy upstairs is up to the usual.
Currently trending at #3 is Kourtney Kardashian - and again for reasons entirely unknown.
Jennifer Aniston is at #6 - because "she loves Kim Kardashian". Then why is Kourtney trending? What am I missing - aside from the obvious, of course.
Portia De Rossi is at #9 - because she "and Ellen are staying together". Whew! The load off our collective psyche!
"Cost of renouncing U.S. citizenship about to soar" - why?!! Let those bastards go and not come back!! Let them also take all the America-hating swine still polluting our country with them! This is the only cause, aside from Military, for which I would gladly be taxed!
"Mystery virus strikes kids" - nicely done! Let's allow more illegals over our borders and see what else they might infect us with.
"Insider tip for getting into a buzzy restaurant" - oh, for heaven's sake! Just go into the less "buzzy" one!
"Shoes that look good on every woman" - OK, that one I never heard before.
Among the 10 most visited cities in Europe, Istanbul is at #7 - why?!!
"Kale salad with peaches" - shudders!
"What you should - and should't - add to coffee" - really? There are actually the guidelines along those lines?
A pair of deer crossed the Golden Gate Bridge - I wonder if they wanted to march across San Fran, demanding Pelosi's recall as the complete embarrassment for the city.
"Selena Gomez departs Toronto without Justin Bieber" - no comment.
And, finally, after a whole bunch of speculation and discussion of the minute details, it's official - Kate is pregnant again, and Georgie is due to become a big brother.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - August 22, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is more August-like than last week's, but still decent.
George is sitting on my window and observing the local fauna. Sniff decided that this particular pastime merits his attention, and tried to give George claustrophobia attack, so was promptly dispatched to another window, where he is happily observing the said fauna.
The crazy upstairs is alive and operational.
It was recently brought to my attention that while I was away, Baby Bro hosted one of his friends with whom they celebrated the above mentioned friend's 21st birthday. As a result, we have practically no booze in the house - that must have been some celebration.
Only one TV was operational - on some kind of Spanish channel and muted!! Yippeee!!!
Currently trending at #2 is thigh bone on Mars - the remains of mysterious alien civilization? Could they possibly be older than ours so Al Sharpton can stop bloviating about all the supposed superior contributions of Africa and Africans?
Kendall Jenner is at #6 - as she and her dear sister Kylie "went all Western" for some kind of magazine shoot and launched "New Shoe, Clothing Collection". I guess after little darlings went half-naked and sans unmentionables few weeks ago, it's really hard to top that one.
Mariah and Nick officially split up - please get your hankies ready!
"Nickii Minaj breaks Miley Cyrus video record" - as Baby Bro likes to say, that is just all kinds of wrong.
Speaking of which, "Dominican Republic bans Miley Cyrus concerts" - because "she undertakes acts that go against morals and customs." Take that, liberal idiots, who keep accusing our country of being controlled by moral police.
Chilean sea bass is the latest supposedly healthy food that turns out to be "not good for you" - yea, yea, yea...whatever.
"August 25 is a great day for cheap flights" - good to know. Aruba, here I come!
"Justin Bieber finally shaves his 'stache" - wow, where was I when he grew one?!!
Coffee this morning in disposable cup from the bagel shop next to the blissfully almost quite laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 3

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is a bit iffy, but not bad for an early October.
Woke up yesterday with scratches on my foot; both George and Sniff were questioned, but neither admitted to the deed. George is enjoying both his new Amazon boxes: the humongous one and the tiny one. Sniff is racing around the apartment. Earlier he decided to play mashgiach again and supervise the bathroom cleaning; hence he was locked up for his trouble.
According to Men's Health, red apples are the best for your health. Dudes, if I eat an apple at all, it's already an achievement; plus, I don't like red apples, period, so, leave me alone with your statistical data.
In the same august publication was a whole set of instructions on buying a bra for a girlfriend - because that's what we really, really want to get as a gift: underwear!
The country survived another day of the government shutdown with poor parteigenosse Michelle announcing that due to it her Twitter account would not really be updated - aw, cry me a river!
Currently trending at #6 is Chelsea Handler - because she split up with her boyfriend and also because she showed off "bikini body". The public wants to know if these incidents are related, and if yes, what was the cause and what was the effect? You can't just report something like this without further explanations!!
"What Kate Gosselin did with all her money" - does anyone really want to know?
A lot of brides would like to marry on 11/12/13 - I assume because getting married on a specific silly date is a guaranteed foundation for a happy and solid marriage. But, hey, the wedding goods purveyors are happy, at least.
George Clooney "revealed" that he had to wear Spanks for his latest movie - please get that picture out of my head.
Britney Spears "found it tough to play 'sexy' now" - because she is a mother. Congratulations on maturing, Britney!
The world's most expensive car costs only 52 mil - what kind of a whopper of the midlife crisis do you have to hit in order to get this one?!!
And, finally, Bieber announced that he will release a new song each Monday for the 10 consecutive weeks - just when you thought Mondays can't suck more than they do already.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - APRIL 14

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! The weather is, well, no printable comment. Baby Bro suspects that George was an attack cat genetically manufactured by the CIA, and Sniff is the spawn of the devil sent to us by international Zionist conspiracy. According to the Orlando Sentinel, "today, there are more than 1,000 (Quidditch) teams from 45 states and 33 countries" - impressive! "Starbucks is cutting prices!" Translation: a 12 oz bag of their coffee is going to cost 8.99 instead of 9.99 in a grocery store - big whoop. "Diana Rigg played a...secret agent on the... Avengers long before the Game of Thrones" - I, on the other hand, knew about the Avengers, but just found out about the Game of Thrones - man, do I feel old! Among the foods that might preserve your memory is salmon, the prices on which are skyrocketing due to our current economic conditions and the relentless efforts of the envirowacos - deliberate attempt to wipe out our memories? But there is also a ray of hope - coffee helps to protect our memory as well! In the same vein: white wine is one of the "sneaky places sugar is hiding" - oh, go to the warm basement! "Gloria Steinem Defends Kim Kardashian's Pregnancy Weight" - that, in a nutshell, is why I despise the modern so-called feminists. Justin Bieber: "Anne Frank was a great girl, hopefully she would have been a Belieber"; this "kind of makes (huffpo) cringe - kinda and only cringe? I just wonder what would have happened if Bieber mouthed something similar about Malcolm X? And, finally, Daily News run a column about royal maternity styles, beginning, of course, with Kate, touching on a whole bunch of European royalty, and ending up with Queen Rania, of all people. Bottom line - ordinary preggos can't pull off the same schtick because they are, well, ordinary, don't have army of helpers, and can't afford those outfits. Coffee this morning in my musical notes mug.