MORNING UPDATE, July 25, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! 

Another list of gadgets that suck power is out - again, the biggest power sucking gadget is the green movement, without which we could have way cheaper power and more of it. Scandal that rocked the world: Kristen Stewart cheated on R-Patz - Bella, how could you do this to Edward, the love of your life?!!!! And celebs are sporting short shorts for the summer - at lest they are not naked...Tiny apartments are just as fascinating as extravagant homes - yea, you get claustrophobia attack just by looking at pictures, as opposed to the usual envy, so, I guess it's good for the soul. And Snooki was booed at the Mets game - which proves that the booers are a bunch of sissys.. I dare them to boo parteigenosse Michelle at her next public appearance promoting her ideas of our healthy living - that would take true courage.

MORNING UPDATE - APRIL 4

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is supposed to be improving and getting warm - we may even hit 60 next week! Again, I'll believe it when I see it. Sniffles takes every opportunity he gets to climb in the cat house; George was issued a new Amazon box, which he is enjoying presently. One enterprising real estate agent (ours, of course) calculated that the approximate value of Hogwarts castle in today's market would be $204,102,000 - well, we can always redistribute the homes of every single eco-hypocrite like Gore, Di Caprio, Streisand, et al, and come up with the needed sum in no time. Reese Witherspoon is currently trending at #7 because she went brunette - shocking indeed, as we have grown so accustomed to her sun-kissed locks. Hayden Panettiere, meanwhile, got in the news because she "sparks breast implants rumors" - I wonder who is more interested in this, men or women. JWoww, the godmother of Snooki's son Lorenzo, gave him a "surprising gift" - she started a college fund for him. Well, considering the combined IQ of Lorenzo's parents, I think the gift is a tad premature - but then you have to take into account the pathetic state of our educational system, and the offering looks very appropriate and quite generous. An artist recently created Lohan's portrait using stuff he found in the trash - I kid you not! He claims to love Lindsay, and hopes that, as a person who loves controversy, she would also love his work. NBC made it official that Jay Leno will "step down" next spring - I guess the dude dared to go too much off script by occasionally criticizing comrade Hussein, which, of course, in NBC book is worst than treason. And speaking about going off script - Vera Wang introduced black wedding gowns a little while ago, and the trend seems to have caught on. I wonder what would a black wedding gown represent - Cruella DeVill's statement about marriage ruining more women than all the natural disasters combined? Chris Brown in a recent radio interview said that he is praying for Justin Bieber, and also claimed that he and Bieber have their treatment by the media in common - to paraphrase a popular book, Freud would commit suicide trying to deal with this. Kim Kardashian would not attend first day of her divorce trial because she has to be in NY promoting her new perfume - would dearly love to know what Freud would make out of this charming tableau. And, finally, Kate and hubs "kick off two-day charity tour of Scotland" where Kate looked "stunning" in tartan coat and high-heeled black boots - happy trails, kids! Coffee this morning in my funky glass Cappuccino mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MARCH 7

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is yuck and blah once again - well, February extended itself once again. Speaking of months, have to remember to claim my Godiva freeby for this month. George did something he did not do in a while - he came to snuggle and stayed on my bed! Am I forgiven for living him for so long - even though, strictly speaking, he is not mine? Sniffles came in much later, breathed in my ear a bit, this time did not step on my hair, and promptly left. Another celeb prego slips and reveals the sex of her baby - this time it was Jessica Simpson. But, unlike Kate, she flat out stated that she is having a son - well, we will just have to wait and see. Jake Gyllenhaal is trending at #6 right now, because it looks like he found love with SI model Emily DiDonato - I would like to say that they make a cute couple, but I never considered Jake handsome, or any SI model beautiful. That's what happens when you grow up admiring the art created by dead white males - you develop weird and non-trendy taste. And, unlike the other cute girl many years ago, Taylor Swift seems to have benefited by briefly dating a Kennedy - she bought an old estate in Hyannis Port last summer, and the estate turned out to be very profitable. Heck, at least she got something out of that cursed family! Snooki is trending at #5 because she lost 42 lb - I assume most of it was off her brain. Selena Gomez is trending at #7 - she "graces" the cover of the latest issue of the Harper's Bazaar, looks to be done with Bieber, talks about being optimistic and believing in love, etc - oh, for effs sake! What does a 20 year old spoiled brat know about life, love, or suffering? And speaking of her former love - Bieber seems to be having a bad week. First it was his "worst birthday ever", because some of his underage friends were not allowed to attend the club; then he was late for a concert, and then somebody snapped picture of him half naked. So, on Wednesday he "unleashed a Twitter tirade" - he seemed to be twittering for about half an hour and complaining, claiming that people are spreading lies and rumors about him in order to create news, and that he is a "good person". Finally, it looks like he claimed that as long as his family, friends, and fans are with him, he is fine and is going back to "that music". Justin, my heart bleeds borsch for your plight! And on the Kate front - bookmakers estimate that she will give birth on July 3. I am hoping for the 4th - just for the fun of it. Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Bean Bag Plush mug with Mickey and Friends.