MORNING UPDATE - MARCH 12

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is rainy blah, but at least it's not cold. Happy Rosh Chodesh Nissan! Ladies, I would love to once again remind you that it's our holiday, so no hard work, but I know it would fall on death ears as we have (excluding Shabat itself) 10 days till Shabat HaGadol. So, please make sure your husbands give you extra special gifts today! To paraphrase Sheldon Cooper - DST, thou art a heartless bastard! Can't fall asleep at night, can't wake up in the morning, damn it! Speaking of mornings - today I awoke to the sight of George in the cat house (good for you, kittie!), and Sniffles on top of the entertainment center (for the first time), disdainfully looking down at me with his hutzbaniak yellow eyes. The crazy upstairs is at it again - I guess meds did not work. Guess what's trading at #1 right now? "Kourtney Kardashain cries." - yep, you read it right. She cried after Scott Disick (whoever that is) called her fat. At least he did not call her the biggest threat to our national security, a la Dr. Oz and parteigenosse Michelle. Speaking of which - still did not get a response from her re: my belated birthday bash and Bond performing there with Hayle. Ellen DeGeneres is trending at #8 right now because her show was renewed for another 3 years - yippee? Cardinals in Rome are preparing to elect another Pope - another yippee? Olivia Wilde "decided" to do a risque scene in her new movie - she was convinced that her character should go skinny-dipping. Oh, give me a break - artistic decision, my coccyx! Another important part of Hollywood history: Keither Sutherland used to be roommates with Robert Downey Jr., and Lindsay Lohan used to share a pad with Raven Simone - the tidbits of history so much more important to posess in your knowledge as opposed to the names of at least 4 signers of the Declaration of Independence. And Breaking News from Iran: "Image of Ahmadinejad consoling Chavez’s mother angers Iranian clerics"! "Ahmadinejad in photo scandal"! "Ahmadinejad in hot water over "sinful" photo"! - insert your own jokes and pithy comments here at your leisure. In Kate news: she and hubby are renovating a more private house in preparations for the baby's arrival. The twist? That's the same estate where Charles "conducted his affair" with Camilla! Honestly, in Will's place, I would get nauseated just thinking about it, not renovate it for the future kid! And, finally, in Bieber news: his manager claims that "there's nothing wrong with him"; Jada Pinkett Smith claims that media is bullying him; and, finally - drum roll please! - his mom wants to be the next "Bachelorette" - which, I think, explains a lot. Coffee this morning in my personalized mug from Hershey Park.