MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 26

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is not as gorgeous as it was yesterday, but still pretty nice. Poor Sniff was awaken around 5 am by Baby Bro's alarm clock, after which he was running around like crazy; later on he got into an obligatory scuffle with George, and is now resting on Baby Bro's rucksack. George was complaining around my bed the whole morning, finally ate what was served him, delivered a fresh injury to his cantankerous roommate, and is now peacefully snoozing on my bed.
Baby Bro was slightly concerned with my continuous cough, so he wanted to make sure I get extra Vitamin C - I love my siblings!
He also affixed a "love" stamp to his latest communication about jury duty - our family has a sense of humor, what can I tell.
Melissa's husband is French - he is also bold and ugly; another example of totally unsubstantiated rumors about French guys being the guys to die for.
Trending at # 1 is Lamar Odom - because he sort of went missing "Amid Claims of Drug Abuse"; I assume the story is still unfolding.
Guess who is trending at #2? Yep, his dear wife Khloe, of course - who "Slams Divorce Rumors". Good luck to both of you - and good luck to us getting away from your family dramas.
Trending at # 6 - MTV VMAs, what else?! All I can say is - after seeing a display of their outfits that they supposedly "rocked", freak show hardly covers it. Also don't hear anything from the official feminist camp - not a peep about over-sexualising women, or forcing them to demean themselves by appearing like sex workers, or their (supposed) talents being second as opposed to their bodies - nothing, zip, zilch, nada!
As a side note, this year's ceremony was held right here, in our dear borough of Brooklyn. Last night's news run "special reports" about it - the locals run the usual gamut of diametrically different reactions from "Brooklyn deserves to shine" to "there was no respect shown to locals, like we are second class citizens!". Surprisingly, the local muslim population was not interviewed - I guess they were too busy preparing to dance, once again, on the anniversary of 9/11.
"Why do the rich need so many bathrooms?" - seriously?! That's what concerns the public now?!
And, finally, "Russian Zoo Names Rare Albino Hedgehogs After Royal Baby" - why? Because all of the sudden they love Brits so much? Or because the baby is blond and hedgehogs are albinos?
Coffee this morning in my green Target mug.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 6

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! Happy Rosh Chodesh Elul! Ladies, as always, please remember - VERY LIGHT housework and a gift from your husband.
The weather is gorgeous! Everyone is wishing for it to stay till November; this, of course, will not happen, but today is definitely park day.
Sniff probably decided that he got kicked enough and spent last night in the cat house. He did his banshee routine in the morning and is now resting on the kitchen window sill. George slept with me, impersonated my secretary in the morning (which resulted in the house phone hiding somewhere on the bottom of the entertainment center), and is now longingly looking at the kitchen pantry - for reasons unknown to humans.
Last night I went on a long overdue visit to Stop & Shop, and I am happy to report that everything made it to my house safely, without falling victim to the local barbarian population.
Guess who is trending at #1 right now? Kim Kardashian! And not because of her clothes - but because it looks like she is planning to design baby clothes! Well, judging by her "whale dress" and her flowery curtains number, Gymboree, Baby Gap, and Carters have nothing to fear.
Trending at #2 is Al Roker - because he overslept! Dude oversleeps for first time in 39 years, and it's all over the net! Sheesh...
Some poor sod accidentally snapped a finger off the medieval Italian statue, and, because he was "an American tourist", it's all over the headlines. The damage poor Muslim immigrants do every time they riot, meanwhile, somehow always skips the news.
Sara Jessica Parker "finally" opened up about her marriage, when in the past she was "nasty" about it - anything to keep the reporters close by and to stay in the headlines.
Lindsay Lohan guest-hosted Chelsea Lately and took at swipe at Kristen Stewart - not that I am a big fan of Stewart, but that was definitely classy.
Mariah Carey showed up in leather and studs - something new and exiting for her.
"'Hottest' politicians in the US" - here is another oxymoron for your.
And, finally, the company that produced the now famous blankey in which prince George left the hospital is headquartered right here, in Brooklyn, NY! Go, my smelly, stinking borough!
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - AUGUST 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! Happy first day of August! The weather is getting worse again, but still not bad, although the a/c had to be on last night. Sniff came in to snuggle in the wee hours, licked my hand, and then plopped down on my face. After that he was waiting for me at the bathroom door, breakfasted with me, and is now sitting on top of the couch and contemplating his next move. George decided to skip the usual routine this morning and just continued sleeping on top of the bookcase.
Of the four different stamp designs we have Baby Bro chose everlasting love for our rent check - interesting move.
Happy Belated Birthday to Harry Potter - and Joanne Rowling!
Guess who is trending at #1 right now? Nope, that passed. Monica Lewinsky! Because the new details of her affair with Slick Willy came out, and, well, public needs to know. But, despite the news, Bill's lecture fees did not go down in price.
Helen Hunt is trending at #4 because she is going to "direct herself" in some kind of new movie - listen, you want to be in charge of your career, go for it! Just please refrain from any and all political involvement.
Trending at #7: Kristen Stewart - it looks like fame got to her head a bit, and she "flipped out on paparazzi". It's sort of newsworthy, but not really interesting due to lack of originality.
Trending at #10: Selena Gomez. It looks like she gave yet another interview about her new album, her 21st birthday, and, of course, Bieber - I think her fans need immediate intervention! I mean, how many times do they need to hear about all this?
"Snooki's classy bikini look" - what is this, a contest on who could come up with a bigger oxymoron in their headlines?
Another one: "What K-Fed looks like today" - um, does anyone still care?
The discussion about Pauley Perette's t-shirt is still on - for more than 24 hours?
And, finally, according to Hollywood Reporter, the royal baby was "Bigger News Than the Pope, Obama's Second Inauguration" - way to go, little Georgie!
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 30

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather was actually nice enough to sleep without a/c - but it's warming up again. Sniff went back to his waiting by the bathroom door routine. This morning they already had a chance to fight over breakfast, and are not snoozing - George on my bed, and Sniff on top of the rucksack. 
Was too lazy to go up to check on the progress of the incinerator battle - but very tempted to add some oil to the fire.
J. Lo is celebrating her 44th birthday - gosh, had it been so long already?
In the news of fashion - Kelly Osbourne wore shoes with heels looking like ice cream cones; does she like ice cream that much?!
"Sharon Stone reveals how aging changed her" - thanks, I really don't need the details.
Clintons are "upset" by being compared to Wiener's scandal and Hil is trying to "distance" herself - no honor among thieves, I see.
US border patrol agents found pot on Bieber's tour bus - but there are no indications that it's his.
And the latest rave on the royal baby is his upcoming christening - wonder if it would correspond with some kind of muslim rioting.
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 29

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The temperatures are climbing again, darn it! So, cats are sleeping: Sniff on my bed, and George on the box. In the morning George came to snuggle for a change, then complained about the freshness of his water, and then meowed piteously by the pantry - which means please give me my treats.
The incinerator saga continues with tenants writing to each other on the incinerator and elevator doors.
Thanks to my dad's maneuvering the burner does not need to be in the fridge anymore.
Currently trending at #1 is Hoda Kotb because of the contradicting reports of whenever she would or would not replace Joy Behar on The View. Well, if she would, it would definitely be a slight improvement in the line up - she at least sounds better and has a bit more class.
J. Crew moved from trendy to "too fashionable" - don't care either way as they never have anything my size.
Michael Phelps is trending at #3 because he is considering competing in 2016 Olympics - don't care about Michael Phelps as such, but forcing assorted bastards to listen to Star Spangled Banner again and again - nirvana!
Justin Bieber gave Selena a single red rose for her birthday - aw, Jelena working once again!
And, finally, Prince Charles announced that the baby's nickname would be Georgie - I said it first!
Coffee this morning in my clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 28

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is not so bad for NY July, which fact feline companions loved once again, especially Sniff. He did his usual crazy running routine for a good portion of the morning, and is now resting on my bed. George also did his usual - asked loudly for fresh food, fresh water, and more petting, after which he retired to the top of the book shelf. They are also officially on the regular food; for a while it was diet variety, then a combo of diet and regular, and now, considering how much exercise they are getting, they are getting only regular.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff.
We got a new intercom panel! It has 3 buttons: "talk", "listen", and "door", as opposed to the old one, which had only 2 - "talk" and "door", so, yes, wast improvement - and being new and shiny does not hurt either.
Also, please don't ask why one of the burners is currently sitting on the top shelf of the fridge.
Jeff Mauro was doing "healthy" sandwiches - 2 vegetarian and one with grilled chicken! I guess, being from Chicago, he has to listen (or at least make believe to listen) to Michelle's edicts.
Jennifer Aniston is currently trending at #3 because she claimed that she already feels married to her Justin -ah, lady, don't rush! They get very skittish when you move the time table on them!
Trending at #7 - Selena Gomez! Why? Because Justin Bieber attended her 21st birthday party! Come to think of it, what the heck was I doing on my 21st birthday? Why can't I find anything in the old news?
Amanda Bynes is also very much in the news because she is on "mental health watch" since Monday. What took so long?
In the news of fashion: Selena again, this time together with Kourtney Kardashian. Both of them wore knee high gladiator sandals with very short shorts - and now experts in the field are deciding who looked better. This is definitely newsworthy, people, like, definitely!
"Snooki's trainer shares weight loss secrets" - how about education and mind-improving secrets?
"Most Millionaires don't think they are rich" - duh! Just remember what you could by for a 20 about 20 years ago and now - and you totally get them.
And, finally, it looks like Prince George will get costume made cuff links for his christening from Prince Charles's goddaughter - what the heck he needs them for is a different story.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 26

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's warming up again, dang it! Feline companions are not too happy about that one, and are sleeping in their fave spots (cat house and on top of a box). In the morning they both came to snuggle, then fought over breakfast, then fought just because, and finally settled down.
Guess who is trending at #1? Nope, wrong! It's Kim Kardashian! You thought she is going to stay quiet? Ha! Anyway, she is in the news because she is loosing baby weight and because her and her magnificent baby-daddy did not want to give their poor offspring a traditional "K" name because they did not want (I am not kidding here) any associations with KKK - genius galore from both of them, what can I say?
You want to know who is trending at #2? DMX. Why? Because the genius got arrested for DUI. Surprised much?
Trending at #7 - someone vandalized the Lincoln memorial; well, considering all the other garbage taking place in DC, this is not surprising.
Jessica Simpson was "spotted" for the first time after giving birth - well, she had to emerge from her house sometime.
Latest on Selena Gomez - this morning she spoke of her "ex-boyfriend", claiming that she will "always care" for him - Jelena was not resuscitated? Aw, shucks!
"Is Kate Middleton's 'mummy tummy' coverage disrespectful to women?" - oh, get a life, people! Did you ever see a woman 2 days after giving birth?!!
And, finally, "Prince George Already Has It All...Except His Own Website" - ah, the dude is less than a week old, people. Give him at least till crawling time.
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 25

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is actually half-decent, thank Gd! The said occurrence feline companions are enjoying to the fullest, especially Sniff, who did his usual battle cry-huge tail-lots of crazy running routine - which he did not perform since the first heat wave. Both of them also decided to try and have a fight on the edge of the kitchen sink, but then George thought better of it. He, in turn, complained in the morning, sat on the window sill with the newly "adjusted" shade, then on the sill next to my desk, and finally both of them decided to take a nap on my bed.
Joke of the day #1 comes from our building manager, who, apparently, did not read the notice telling everyone that the intercom would be out of commission for the next 2 weeks. This morning he decided to press the bell and was completely flabbergasted when he realized that nothing was working.
Joke of the day #2 comes from someone in the PR Department of the MTA, a representative of which uttered something to the extend of people taking it for granted that there are no fires on the subways.
Rinsing your head with beer right after shampoo is good for your hair - and if you don't rinse it on time, I guess it would be a perfect distraction from ESPN for a man of your life.
Among the 10 best places in USA to live in, there is Anchorage - which proves one more time that Sara Palin knew what she was doing.
On the other hand, Washington, DC, was just pronounced the least honest city in the USA - surprised much?
Taylor Swift left a nice tip plus concert tickets at the restaurant that impressed her with a nice service - take that, Kanye!
Chris Brown always makes sure that his car matches his shoes - no comment.
MTV.com is offering to take a pick inside Justin Bieber's jewelry box - please spare me!
Shakira is currently trending at #1 because she just "unveiled" a "slim bikini body" mere 6 months after giving birth - big deal! I know some local ladies who can give her a run for her money!
Blake Lively is currently trending at #2 because her representative just went public claiming that she is not pregnant - hum, thank Gd?
And, finally, royal baby is already stimulating the economy - the company that produced the swaddling blanket in which he left the hospital has no more of these blankets in stock! Way to go, Georgie!
Coffee this morning in my glass Cappuccino mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 24

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is the nicest that we saw in about a month, so - yay! 
Sniffles started his day by sleeping on my Mickey suitcase and now migrated to my bed; George started his day by complaining to me and Baby Bro and is now sleeping on some random boxes.
Our Building management decided to add some excitement to our overwise humdrum lives and got somebody to work on our intercom system - the said repairs are supposed to last for the next 2 weeks. Again, hurray for the 1st floor!
Ina was making a traditional Jewish dinner for her hubby's birthday, which consisted of chicken soup with matzah balls and stuffed cabbage. The kicker? Her secret to fluffy matzah balls is to whip the egg whites! I can so see the housewives in the schtettels doing just that!
Guess what's trending at #1 right now? Yes, you guessed it. The new prince was named George Alexander Louis, and yes, the Buckingham Palace called Baby Bro yesterday to clear the matter with him. He told them that as long as the royal heir is not called George Ffuffikens Hamilton, he is OK with that.
A dude from Tennessee used 42 sheets to spell "Will You Marry Me" in the field that belongs to the parents of his girlfriend - wow! That's romance for you!
Another dude, this time in Australia, took a really easy path - he just tied the ring box onto his dog and sent the pet to his girlfriend; definitely enterprising.
According to some kind of fashion expert, 3 most common summer fashion faux pas committed to guys are are tank tops, cargo shorts, and long socks - she obviously spent way too much time in our neighbourhood.
And, finally, Bieber sort of admitted that he had feelings for Selena since he was 15 - only he phrased it slightly differently. Ah, young love!
No coffee today as we run out of milk.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 23

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is NY July, meaning meh, but not as bad as it could be. George demonstrated his sixth sense again last night when I had to crawl over my bed in order to put on my a/c - next thing I know, the ginger ball is right next to me! Had to disappoint him and inform him that it was not bedtime yet. Now they are sleeping in my room (for a change) - Sniff in the cat house, and George on the window sill next to my desk; it's actually always a surprise to sit by my desk and find him there.
The crazy upstairs is extra diligent today.
The new chapter in the saga of living in barbarian-infested neighbourhood: first my toilet paper was stolen, then a package from Gymboree was stolen from our front door area, and now Baby Bro's Amazon package! I sort of understand the first two, but post-modern poetry?!! I guess the lure of the Amazon box was too much for someone - plus, it helps that our apartment is right next to the elevator.
Guess what's trending at #1 right now? Nope, you are wrong - it's Lisa Kudrow, due to her announcement of not being interested in Friends reunion. A bit cold, Lisa, considering that that show sort of made you.
Now guess what's trending at #2? Wrong again - it's Sandra Bullock, who was talking about filming Gravity and claiming that it was "incredibly scary"; have no idea what Gravity is all about, so can offer no educated comment on this one.
Now guess what's trending at #5? Well, sort of - it's Buckingham palace, which is, of course, besieged by the crowds of crazily happy people - or is it just happily crazy? Or just happy? Or just plain crazy?
So, yes, Mazal Tov to Kate on the birth of a baby boy! - Well, she was the one doing all the work!
The nutty Brits got to enjoy most of their rituals that surround the birth of the heir to the throne - and, surprise, surprise - muslims were quite for a change! (I wonder why)
As I mentioned before, according to some enterprising souls, the baby is a Jew - which, if indeed is true, would be our best revenge on a lot of things and nasty individuals, beginning with Edward I (or maybe even earlier).
The best summary of the events was this morning, when Baby Bro appeared in the kitchen with a totally bewildered expression on his face and asked to clarify what the deal was with that baby - my answer that people basically have no lives seemed to satisfy his curiosity.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.