MORNING UPDATE - November 14, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's sunny, windy, and freezing outside - global warming, my coccyx! Cats are snoozing in the warm spots of their choosing. George impersonated Sniff's demented running this morning - go figure.
Only two out of three TVs were working, and one had some kind of Spanish channel on - at least I did not understand what they were babbling about.
The crazy upstairs is doing well.
Currently trending at #2 is Ashton Kutcher - because his baby "is very cute." Well, my nieces are way cuter.
The "hottest name" to give a baby girl is Violet - because of Garner's and Affleck's daughter. Like, really?!!
"Cyrus, Schwarzenegger's son go public" - yikes! Arnold, good luck, buddy!
Kim Kardashian was photographed in the buff - yawn.
"Heavy Thanksgiving traffic on the horizon" - as opposed to other years, when it was very light?
"Salad-making mistakes" - mistake #1: not making one; mistake #2: listening to the so-called experts.
"Cocktail bucket list" - somebody dreams in very restricted terms.
"200 French police and military forces are trying to hunt down a large feline that is slinking around the city (Paris)" - 200 armed people to find one huge cat?!!! Go, France!
"Justin Bieber could face international arrest order" - could they just keep him in Argentina already?
And, finally, Kate and Will will be dropping by to visit DC and our fair city - one lives on tenterhooks trying imagine how would our so-called mayor and our so-called president manage to embarrass us once again.
Coffee this morning in the disposable cup from the overpriced bagel shop next to the blissfully-quiet and almost barbarian-free laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - May 8, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's overcast and rainy outside once again, but not terrible - especially if I don't have to go to work today smile emoticon
The battle for the supremacy of the cat house is raging on. Also, Baby Bro had a brilliant idea of loaning George to CPA - if people can take care of him for about two weeks, they can proof that they are fit parents. Sniff, meanwhile, just entertained himself with a crumpled piece of foil that he liberated from the recycling pile.
The ongoing entertainment in my life - people periodically hinting and/or telling me that as I have no kids, I don't understand something, or don't get it, or can't really have an opinion on it. I can't really call it being smug-married - so, Bridget aficionados, please get me a proper term smile emoticon
Yesterday got a customer who could not find one single author whose last name begins with a letter F in the young readers section.
Currently trending at #3 is Leo DiCaprio - because he bought an apartment in Greenwich Village; well, he is going to fit right in with all the other envirowacos residing there; I am just wondering at how often he is going to take a subway as opposed to riding in a limo.
Trending at #8 is Willow Smith - because of some "controversial photos". Nice going, what can I say.
"Kim K. says the racism is alive" - of course it is! You know who tops the list, Kim? The current love of your life - despite his lowering himself to shack up with a white girl.
Jennifer Lawrence claims that fame made her rude - OK, Jennifer, acknowledging the problem is the first step.
"Mother's Day gift ideas" - how about not forgetting Mother's Day?
"Why Katie Couric wants you to give up sugar" - how about Katie Couric remembers what a journalist is really supposed to do and starts candid reports on her idol in the White House and leaves our sugar consumption the hell alone?
"Cheap protein sources" - yea, the economy is getting better every day.
Justin Bieber "is in trouble again" because he got a parking ticket - OK, that is just overdoing it; parking ticket is only "trouble" for ordinary folk.
"Kutcher was.. photographed leaving The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf with two iced coffees in Studio City, Calif." - wow, I have something in common with Ashton and Mila! We all love iced coffee from Coffee Bean!
Speaking of which, coffee today in my glass Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf mug from my trip to L.A. - and, no, it was not in honor of Ashton and/or Mila.

MORNING UPDATE - February 28, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's sunny and freezing outside - Phil, you are very lucky that you are not easily accessible by NY public transportation! 
Yet another person recently inquired if our felines are a special breed - because they are so huge. Nope, just American-food-available-in-great-quantities-mutts variety. Psychotic, but still mutts, er, American short hair, that is.
The crazy upstairs is warming up with her usual.
Currently trending at #1 is Janet Jackson - because the rumors about her divorce are "not true". I guess she is still ecstatically happy with her muslim husband.
Trending at #2 is Jada Pinkett Smith - because she "Flaunts Fuller Figure". Considering her usual size, that's not a great achievement - not top 2 anyway.
Trending at #7 is Jeff Goldblum - as he is "back for Independence Day 2". I wonder from whom they will be saving the world this time - as, considering Hollywood's general trends, the obvious targets would not be used.
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are engaged - wow! What a surprise - we so did not see this one coming!
"How to dress for Oscars" - the more skin shows, the better (only for women, of course).
R-Patz got himself a new favorite co-star - and it's a cow (literally)!
"Cook dinner in a coffee pot" - OK, how small is your apartment already?!!
Washington, DC, is considered "the most literate city" in the US - did you sneak to Denver first before pronouncing that?!!!
Dr. Seuss went to Dartmouth and was caught drinking in his dorm during Prohibition - well, that's amusing to know.
And, finally, our dear city reportedly has 136,000 potholes - let's see how long it would take our dear, poor people loving mayor, to repair them.
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - February 6, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's freezing again outside, but at least the sun is shining. Sniff keeps trying to join Baby Bro for a smoking break. Yesterday he also wanted to help us unload groceries from the car, and later Sniff and George both played mashgichim for the pantry packing.
Recently got another costumer who for some insane reason thought I would love to hear her talk in Russian.
Currently trending at #2 is Brad Pitt - whose latest family photos with Angelina and the brood we are privileged to see if we so desire; I personally don't.
Trending at #8 is Dwayne Johnson as he is beginning to shoot "new TNT reality series" - sometimes I am grateful that at present I don't have TNT.
Emma Watson painted a "stunning self portrait" - as long as she stays out of politics, I don't care what else she does with her free time.
"Not all of the bathrooms in Sochi are awful" - that headline alone is priceless.
"Even Walmart is too pricey for some Americans" - once again, comrade Hussein, thank you for that!
Selena Gomez spent 2 weeks in rehab for "emotional trauma" - aw, poor little famous brat! When the rest of us suffer from "emotional trauma", we still have to wake up every morning and carry on as if nothing happened.
"Valentine's gifts you definitely won't get this year" - how in blazed do you know what I will and won't get?
"Ashton Kutcher, Charlie Sheen trade harsh words" - I wish both of them would just go away, but I know it's not going to happen any time soon.
"How to watch Olympics" - well, you pick up your remote control, put the TV and cable box on, find the channel that broadcasts it, and watch.
"The most frequently overlooked tax breaks" - not crossing the current administration must top the list.
"Justin Bieber parties on" - gee, what a surprise!
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 22

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Moadim L'Simcha! Happy Second Day of Chol Hamoed! The weather rocks! 
Happy 25th Anniversary to my family! 25 years in this wonderful country!
Feline companions were extra frisky over the Holidays - George kept demanding his due, and Sniff kept running all over the place and emitting battle cries. Now they are both quietly sleeping - Sniff in the cat house, and George on my bed.
Happy Belated Birthday to Hermione Granger Weasley!
My e-mail keeps bombarding me with offers for the singles over 50 - ah, go to hell and stay there!
FB, on the other hand, keeps suggesting that I join a group called "Frum Divorce" - Zuck, I was never married, you crazy bastard!
Currently trending at #1 is Mila Kunis - because she is "tiring of divorce drama"; well, how about not messing up with a married guy next time - even if, according to their former co-star Laura Prepon, he was her first kiss? And if they were so hung up on each other, why did Ashton marry someone else? Sowing wild oats?
Fergie and Josh Duhamel are still in the top ten after they shared the pictures of their baby a few days ago - I guess the baby was extra cute.
According to some journalists, during her latest performance Miley proved once again that she got a lot of talent - for some reason, she still had to do it half naked.
Rihanna is trending at #5 because she posed with "protected primates" in Thailand, after which local police arrested people for allegedly "peddling protected primates" - nice going, Rihanna!
It looks like a lot of fans didn't want R-Patz as Edward because of his bushy eyebrows - like, seriously?!! That's so easily corrected!
"Carbs that are good for you" - oh, for pete's sake, give me a break, will you?!! Food is good for you, period! Just eat a variety of it and don't overeat.
"4 Reasons Chocolate is Good For Your Health" - only 4?!! Hang those researchers if they don't come up with at least 10!
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JULY 11

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is New York summer, @#%&!
Feline companions are doing their usual extra sleeping - this time in Baby Bro's room. Also, Sniff has no sense of self-preservation - his battle wound was fresh once again last night.
According to my intelligence sources, CVS stores in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts no longer offer tobacco for sale, only the smocking secession products - did Bloomberg get to them as well?
Someone actually bought a 30 seconds ad sport on CBS; the ad was against Obamacare - nice job!
Khloe Kardashian is trending at #1 right now because she was defending her hubby after his recent dust-up with paparazzi - aw, how wifely and domestic of her!
Yet another hairdo made the news - this time it was none other than our dear Hilary Rodham Clinton! Well, the cut itself is a great improvement over what she had before, but she still looks butt ugly - and it has nothing to do with her physical features.
According to Laura Prepon, her former co-stars Mila and Ashton would definitely get married - let's hope Ashton is not going to cheat on Mila after they walk down the isle.
A dude in Tennessee got robbed after an attractive woman showed up and wanted to skinny dip in his pool - I hate to say it, but if it ain't broke, why change it? It worked from the beginning of time and still delivers.
A Saudi princess living in California was arrested for human trafficking - why the hell was she living in Orange County and not Riyadh?
And, finally, it looks like Will wants to break the official protocol and call his grandma on an encrypted phone line as soon as the baby is born, instead of the usual complicated rigmarole - this is what comes out of marrying a commoner.
Coffee this morning in my Chivas glass.