MORNING UPDATE, June 29, 2012

Hello, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! Last week I was dared to post  half an hour before Shabat - this is the best I can do;) Triple H is here - who was it again who was complaining on Tuesday that it was cold? MTA keeps adding elevators to train stations - for the convenience of lazy asses who push in in front of elderly, disabled, and people with strollers; and there is only one segment of population doing it that's local; the rest of them are invading barbarians. 

Holmes and Cruise are splitting up - I guess nothing is worth the life with a crackpot Scientologist. Sharon Stone turned heads in some kinds of crazy top, and other celebrities turned heads in short shorts - I guess heat wave is affecting them as well. And there is a bottle of cabernet on the market that's worth 168 Gs - here is to good drinking. And Adele is pregnant - mazal tov! Shabat Shalom, peeps!

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MORNING UPDATE, July 13, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! I realized yesterday that I decided to impersonate Professor Horatio Smith and lost Thursday. 

New Twilight footage was released - stand by for hordes of swooning teen girls. Katie Holmes stepped out in leather pants and high heels - stand by for hordes of swooning middle-aged men. Demi Moor's real name is Demetria - the said piece of knowledge is much more useful to modern youth than the understanding of The Bill of Rights. Jolie twins turned 4 yesterday and already well traveled - at least they traveled on their parents' dime, unlike Malia and Sasha, who are well traveled on ours. Justin Bieber earned less than Taylor Swift - I guess he should have kept his long hair. Giant sinkhole near Colorado mountain turned out to be caused by a rail road tunnel that was abandoned more than 100 years ago - I shudder to think what damage Comrade Obama's garbage will cause 100 years hence. Fastest cars for 2013 are Bugatti, Ferrari, and Dodge - I still prefer Hammers and Jaguars; color me strange.

MORNING UPDATE, July 16, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Due to improved sleeping conditions, yours truly overslept for second morning in a row. Poor George, on the other hand, completely traumatized by the new door arrangements, just gave up on trying to get into the bedroom and slept on the guest mattress. Curry is doggedly working on demolishing the third window blind. And Twitter decided that I would like to follow Bill Maher - dear Twitter, I usually need a spittoon after just looking at him. 

Jessica Biel is now a brunette - for whatever reason, she looks better than blond. Our dear mockery of a Secretary of State was pelted with tomatoes - couldn't have happened to a better person. "Gang truce cuts country's homicide rates in half" - deport all the illegal members of the gangs, and see what happens next. Women over 40 are running more health risks than men partially because they usually end up being caregivers - another sign of Y-chromosome's selfishness and uselessness. Retailer's secret - designer bags in the outlets are of lower quality - oh, bummer! Kim Kardashian looks better in leather pants than Katie Holmes - such useful news during the election year.

MORNING UPDATE, August 23, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! 

Paul Ryan's black ex is trending at #1 - and here I thought that we live in color-blind society, and that the election of Barak/Barry/Hussein signaled the end of racism in this country. Katie Holmes is at #3, as she would be showing her clothing line at NY Fashion Week - alimony not finalized? And Natalie Portman supposedly shed her conservative image in a nude ad - since when did she have a conservative image? Mel Gibson is trending at #6, because his new girlfriend was seen in a pair of scandalous jeans - no comment (or rather, too much to say). And the reason for the collapse of Mayan empire was environmental (and created by Mayans themselves) - damn, I didn't know IPCC could time travel..unless they just doctor history books.

MORNING UPDATE, September 3, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Baby Bro is back, so cats can't decide now where to sleep, with whom to snuggle, and who will be more susceptible to pathetic meowing. 

The important intelligence is coming out - it looks like Katie Holmes was not Tom's first choice, and that the church of Scientology had a whole whetting process! Also, very important advice from a man to women putting their profiles on the dating sites - don't over-share: putting down that Harry Potter is your favorite book is just very sad - WTH?!! Putting down the list of my fave books is over-sharing, and liking HP is pathetic? No wonder I am single. In other important news - fall is coming, so put away your flip flops and put on the it shoes for the season, which just happened to be narrow stilettos. Ah, to hell with fashion - flippies staying on for at least another 2 months. And Canadian bacon is the leanest on the market - our friends from the North are very concerned with our expanding waistlines, I guess. 

Coffee this morning in my Tweety glass - gosh, do I miss WB stores!!

MORNING UPDATE, May 8, 2015

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is sorta summery - we want spring!! Cats finished their morning sessions of whining for food, fighting, hunting local barbarians, and running around the house - and are now happily snoozing in their respective corners.

Mark Kelly is busy producing children's books - in between the times devoted to deprive us of our constitutional right.
Recently astonished a bunch of friends by telling them that I don't think Colin Firth made a decent Mr. Darcy.

Currently trending at #3 is Shonda Rhimes - and, surprisingly, not because people are gunning for her for killing McDreamy.
Gifts for mom are trending at #5 - no comment.
Chevy Volt is at #10 - someone is still moron enough to buy it?!!
Some moron in Virginia posted his demand note on Instagram before going in to rob a bank - insert your own joke here.
In the news of hairdos - it looks like Katie Holmes' haircut at the infamous, excuse me, famous Met gala was a wig. Could have told you that from the beginning.
Tina Fey took off her dress in honor of her last appearance on the Letterman - hurray for women's lib!
"Bieber's couture look" - there is just so much that's not right with this headline!
"Benefits of measles shot" - like, really?!! You need to know the benefits of the measles shot?!!
"White House fence upgrade" - that is ironic on so many levels.
And, finally, it looks like the bonnet that princess Charlotte wore for her first public appearance was put on backwards - the culprit or culprits unknown.

Coffee this morning in my blue wine glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE, May 22, 2015

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is fantastic! George continues to periodically complain about the general state of affairs. Sniff climbed on top of the fridge and meditated there for a while.
A bit earlier saw a dude walking his dog and singing.
The crazy upstairs is strangely silent - oops, spoke too soon.

Currently trending at #8 are used cars - why now, I wonder; maybe because the economy is still very much in the crapper?
Mattress sales are at #10 - because it's holiday weekend? Why such a spiked interest in mattresses all of a sudden?
Katie Holmes is obsessed with socks - because, according to her, she does not have enough, and she hates cold feet. OK, let's send her some socks for Christmas.
"Robin Thicke steps out with new girlfriend" - that's some quick work there. Wasn't he serenading his ex wife just a couple of months ago?
"Jennifer Love Hewitt embraces "sexy" motherhood" - why the hell does everything has to be sexy?!! Feminists? Anyone?
"Bathroom upgrades you never knew you needed" - interesting. I wonder what else I need that I don't know about.
"How Clinton can be 'small business president" - stop laughing already!
"Best beaches for 2015" - it's a beach!! Just enjoy it!

Coffee this morning in my funky green mug from Yves Rocher.

MORNING UPDATE, November 12, 2012

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather rocks for the second day in a row - thank you, Hashem! Yay, flippies!!! It looks like today is Rodin's and Grace Kelly's birthday - well, happy birthday! George woke up Benny by meowing for about 10 minutes, demanding to be fed - even though there were 3 full dishes of food in the kitchen; the guy is definitely going senile in his old age. 

Katie Holmes, or rather, her skintight orange jeans are very prominent in the news this morning - thankfully, Beyonce's new hairdo and the Biel/Timberlake nuptials are finally gone from the same. Twilight: Breaking Dawn 2 is trending at #2 - no news yet as how many exited teens and tweens are expected to swoon at the premier. Yet another heartbreaking piece of news - Gomez/Bibier break-up - aw, my heart bleeds borsch. And, finally, there is a list of 10 stylish bags for under $50 - surprisingly, my Bag was not mentioned (and I guarantee you, it was definitely under fifty bucks) - oh, well. 

Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug - great trip to LA that definitively convinced me that I don't want to move to LA; glad they opened their stores here, in the Big Smelly Apple.