MORNING UPDATE - January 31, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! Happy Rosh Chodesh! Ladies, I know that as it's Erev Shabat, my reminders would fall on deaf ears, so, at least take advantage of Rosh Chodesh tomorrow smile emoticon
It's above freezing!!! Run for the sunblock! And, yes, I went to do laundry in my flippies. The only noise was related to Superbowl, and, later, just Latifa, so - thank Gd!
Both our felines suffer from severe OCD.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual.
Currently trending at #1 is Mila Kunis - because she is the "new face" of Kentucky bourbon. Earth-shattering, man, simply earth-shattering!
Trending at #2 is Tara Reid - because she signed up for Sharknado 2! Rejoice, ladies and gentlemen!
"Helen Mirren, 68, twerks while accepting award" - you keep it classy, Helen!
"Miley's advice to Bieber" - yea, here is the blind leading the lame.
Dennis Rodman claims he was drunk "when he made his comments about North Korea" - wow, that was some drink, Dennis!
And, finally, it looks like Kate is going to spend another Valentine's day solo - last year Will was deployed, and this year he will probably be at school.
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - January 7, 2014

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! It's bloody cold outside!!! The ship is still stuck, and another ship that was sent to assist got stuck as well - the irony continues. Meanwhile, it got so cold here that we had to actually open the radiator in my room - it was blissfully out of commission for the past four years! Sniff diligently investigated the new source of heat and decided that his fave pipe is way better. As of now he is entwined with it, probably hoping to become one with the pipe. George is cuddling in his box and did not even come out to consume his fresh breakfast.
Yesterday a costumer (who, of course, turned out to be a librarian) tried to talk down to me till she realized that I knew more than her about where and how to get inexpensive books; then she had to backpedal with something like "we both love books".
Currently trending at #1 - drum roll please - is Kim Kardashian. But this time it's pretty boring - she claimed that North was the best thing she did in 2013, and she also revealed Kanye's tune that she constantly plays - the woman has no taste in anything.
Trending at #3 is the design for a statue of Satan - somewhere in Oklahoma, no less! I guess it's still better than erecting the statue of comrade Barack Hussein.
The pot sales in Colorado are doing so well that soon they may run out of product - duh!!!
Alexa Vega got married over the weekend - man, she is that old already?!
Rodman was "ranting" and defending his trip to North Korea - dude, don't rant. If you think your little friend Kim, for whom you expressed love, is such a great dude, just stay in North Korea and continue your training programs there.
Activities that make your heart race (like hiking or watching a scary movies) are supposed to be a great idea for a first date - how about just not behaving like a swine for about an hour? That alone would make my heart racing.
A new study showed that Superbowl commercials are a wast of money - yea, because that's the time for bathroom breaks and nacho platter refills; unless, of course, someone has a "wardrobe malfunction".
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - December 23

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! It's raining, darn it! Cats look sleepy all the time. Sniff lost his interest in the hallway for a little while.
All quite on the crazy front.
Currently trending at #1 is Porsha Stewart - because she "may be getting axed from the Real Housewives of Atlanta". A profound loss to humanity, what can I say.
Trending at #7 is Dennis Rodman - because he left North Korea without meeting their glorious leader. I assume the tour of their forced labor camps was not on the agenda as well.
Trending at #4 is Mila Kunis - who was spending some quality time with Ashton, and they both seem to "be all right"; I guess till he cheats on her.
Cholesterol is trending at #5 - oh, get lost already! Let people enjoy their holiday food in peace!
"Top New Year Eve's spots" - the very top spot being my bed (no pun intended).
Justin Bieber's journals are being released today - wow! Really?!!
Julia Roberts claimed that she is happy with the spotlight being on the Kardashians because this way it's not focused on her - why so modest, Julia?
And, finally, Kate was praised for "rocking the redo looks" - meaning, her recycled outfits look just as good on her the second time as they do the first. Michelle Obama, on the other hand, does not "rock" her outfits even the first time around.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug - the new edition.

MORNING UPDATE - DECEMBER 17

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! It's snowing again! Global warming, my aching coccyx! Feline companions are, of course, snoozing away - George in the papasan, and Sniff in the cat house. For reasons unknown, they prefer to sleep in my room, even though it's the coldest spot in the place. 
Poor cats were deprived of their latest object of desire and affection, otherwise known as the latest huge Amazon box - it was finally emptied and recycled, and they don't even get to fight over an empty box.
The kid who hates her daycare was heard again today; ditto for the crazy upstairs, who resumed with extra vigor. The crazy outside, however, was not heard since Sunday - yippee?
Yesterday was both Beethoven's and Austen's birthdays - hurray for the dead white males and females and their beautiful and sublime art! Also, Julia Quinn pointed out that all women want Mr. Darcy, but men have no idea who that is. Gentlemen - got at least 2 copies of Pride and Prejudice you could borrow... oh, heck, what I am saying?!!
According to Men's Health, 58% of men "'forgotten' to pick up after their pooch" - and I bet you that at least half of them lives right here, in NY!
Currently trending at #1 is Denise Richards - because, according to her ex, Charlie Sheen, she is a "holiday humbug". OK, dude, you messed up, and your wife left you - way to be a classy gentleman in return.
"2 common light bulbs will be banned on January 1" - oh, what an enlightened times we live in!
Our dear government spent about 1 million USDs studying - ready for this?- romance in popular culture! On the bright side - that's one million that did not go to illegals or muslim terrorists.
Dennis Rodman is planning another visit to North Korea - can he stay there already?
Walmart is selling Occupy posters - good for Walmart!
And, finally, you can read about Kate and Will's new bulletproof Bentley - interesting, considering that England is one big "gun free" zone.
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 9

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Shana Tova! I hope all of you had great Holiday and wish all of you a great, happy, healthy, sweet, prosperous, and blessed New Year! The weather is almost rocking for this time of the year - and I don't remember the last time I was able to deal without A/C on Rosh Hashana.
For the inquiring minds - there are sixty five Barbies in my collection.
Both George and Sniffles are enjoying the fresh air that comes from the open kitchen window; they also enjoy observing the local fauna. However, George gets scared when he sees someone on the outside (Baby Bro claims that he sees ghosts); Sniff, however, recognizes us through the window and tries to snuggle through the mesh.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff.
Currently trending at #2 is Taylor Swift, because she is producing a new single with J Lo - oh, golly! Really don't want to see this one.
Reese Witherspoon supposedly "stunned" at the premiere of her new movie - OK, the dress was cute and she usually looks adorable, but I would not call it "stunning".
Some kind of experts claim that Whole Foods, Walmart, Costco, and Target make mayo that's as good as Hellman's, or that we would be "hard pressed to taste the difference" - scurrilous lies! Hellman's can't be beat!
"What to expect from Apple's iPhone event" - a lot of crazy Apple junkies, what else?
Rodman is making his third trip to North Korea - can he stay there already?
Sandra Bullock claims that she feels she does not deserve her Oscar for the Blind Side and she will be trying to prove herself for the rest of her life - chill, Sandra! Just look at James Cameron - he definitely did not deserve his, yet it did not prevent him from preening like a peacock and yelling that he is the king of the world.
"Justin Bieber debuts new 'mustache'" - spare me!
Prince Andrew accepted an apology from police after he was mistaken for an intruder in the Buckingham Palace - should have just shouted allah akbar, and the police would have stood down right away.
And, finally, according to Vanity Fair, Kate, backed by Will, defied the royal orders regarding Georgie, and made her own decisions - good for her! Considering how well her father in law turned out to be, I totally don't blame her.
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh and Friends mugs.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 8

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's raining today. George came to snuggle in last night, and Sniff - this morning. Now they are both slumbering in my room: Georgie on my bed, and Sniffles in the cat house. Ina was making scones - yay! Yesterday, or rather very early this morning, I finally finished a bottle of chardonnay that was purchased before the Purim of 2012 - am an embarrassment to my Russian heritage and proud of it! Also, still did not consume my Godiva freebies. Today is Yom Yerushalaim - anti-Semites of all stripes (including our own) are invited to gnash their teeth and be reminded once again that undivided Jerusalem belongs to us. And now, to important news. Universal Orlando is expanding their Harry Potter world - another example of HP working its wizardry in the muggle world. Guess what is trending at #1 right now? Kardashian bikini! It looks like Kim "bared her baby bump" in a "tiny bikini" - earth shattering news this is, for sure. Leonard Nimoy is trending at #5 because he and his "Spock successor" were featured in an Audi commercial - that one was really funny. Megyn Kelly is trending at #8 because Fox just renewed her contract - let the mud-slinging from the benevolent left begin. Americans don't get enough magnesium in their diet; good news - nuts and dark chocolate are full of it! Dennis Rodman tweeted a diplomatic plea to the leader of North Korea starting with "do me a solid" - paging psychiatric hotline. Urban Outfitters is under fire again - this time for selling shot glasses that look like prescription drug bottles. Critics claim it "glamorizes" the drug abuse - oh, come on, people! As long as it doesn't glamorize gun ownership, I think everyone should be happy. And a dude in Australia requested a custom level of Angry Birds in order to propose with it - interesting, that. Definitely beats "will you wash my tzizis" proposal. Selena Gomez "penned" a new song titled "Love Will Remember" about her romance with Biebs - aw....Who needs to read Romeo and Juliette, or The Sanatorium, or Pride and Prejudice, when we have such gorgeous and profound love ballads. And, finally, Kate is credited, once again, with bringing tiny purses and clutches into the spotlight - I guess our tasted divulge here. Coffee this morning in my smiley faces mug.

MORNING UPDATE - APRIL 8

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is magnificent! George and Sniffles continue their hunt in the kitchen - the hunting zone was expanded to include the shelves and the surrounding area. "British actress Emma Watson gained a new respect for strippers after learning to pole dance for new movie The Bling Ring"; she also took her lessons "while studying literature at Britain's prestigious Oxford University" - good for you, Emma! Nice going...Dennis Rodman is trending at #2 right now because he was fired from the Celebrity Apprentice - oh, come on! The dude just went to North Korea as an ambassador, for effs sake! Give him some respect! Jenna Jameson is trending at #3 due to her being charged with battery - I guess all those pole dancing classes paid off in her case. Beyonce and Jay-Z celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary in Cuba - awww; the only problem is - they eventually came back. Duck Dynasty stars went "glam" for the ACM awards - go, rednecks! Too bad they did not bring their guns with them. Julian Lennon, John's son, just turned 50 - hell, do I feel old! Hollywood Life can show me how to get Kourtney Kardashian's glam braids in 5 minutes - thanks, but no, thanks. Also according to this august publication, Bieber got a new "sexy" haircut as a fresh start after Selena - oh, give me a break! That is how dude deals with a broken heart today?!! And, finally, US weekly, another intellectual publication, run a spread titled "Kate Middleton's Royal Pregnancy Style: How the Duchess Is Dressing Her Baby Bump" - frankly, all I could see was a succession of coats and jackets, plus a whole bunch of boots and gorgeous high heeled shoes. Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.