MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 19

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather rocks - and, like all New Yorkers, I wish it would stay for the whole summer!
Feline companions are enjoying the absence of heat as well. Georgie spent the night in my room and came in to snuggle in the morning; Sniff was once again objecting to the locked door of the bathroom and greeted me after the shower.
Ina was making a whole bunch of delicious meat stuffs - her pasta bolognese is my pasta with meat sauce, and she also likes to use other than spaghetti pasta - I guess I should apply for my own food show. Sandra, on the other hand, was baking! her falafel balls, and she added shredded carrots to the mixture! White demon she is. Anne Burrell is making a Jewish dinner of brisket and potato pancakes!
Daniel Radcliffe has a new artistic ambition: he wants to play a Bond villain - really?!!
Trending at #5: watermelon Oreos - I don't know about the taste, but it's definitely another ammunition against the black racists. I mean, we have all white (vanilla) Oreos now, plus yellowish (lemon), and now watermelon - so, they got to come up with a new taunt for black conservatives. Good luck, oh proud products of our public school systems!
Dolce and Gabbana were sentenced for tax evasion - I guess paying taxes into the socialist system that feeds the lazy and the invading barbarians is not popular in Europe as well, not just in the US.
"How Kardashian could profit from baby" - because what she has now makes her eligible for food stamps?
Red Robin was forced to issue an apology because one of their commercials was "disrespectful" towards vegetarians - the apologies from vegetarians and PETA towards meat-eaters and leather wearers are forthcoming as well, I am sure.
"The Right Way To Boil Potatoes" - are you joking?!
Brad Pitt was recently mobbed in Times Square at the premier of his new movie - which proved once again that there a lot of moronic women out there who simply adore jerks. On the side note - who ever proclaimed Pitt handsome (especially in his present hirsute state) needs a refresher course in a good art museum.
"Rihanna Eclipses Justin Bieber as Top Youtube Artist" - which fact does not disprove the moronism of the general population or their appalling taste in music.
And, finally, Will is planning to take 2 week paternity leave after the baby comes, after which he will be back on his military duty - aw!
Coffee this morning in my striped galls from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 18

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is iffy again, but still tolerable - although feline companions are not happy. They don't like heat, rain, or a/c, for that matter - they like everything to be just perfect, spoiled brats. 
Paula was making some delicious southern stuff using 3 different kinds of flavored butter, Ina assembled home made granola that I would love to try (and I hate granola), and Melissa used 2 different flavored butters - go butter!
Godiva just sent me a email: they are trying to encourage people to spruce up their communities over this coming weekend - aw, how sweet (no pun intended). Well, the only way to improve my community is to deport all the illegals - for starters; and, somehow, I don't think Godiva wants to get behind this one.
Kim and Kanye's baby is trending at #1, and, according to the people in the know, her name is Kaidence Donda West - could you imagine poor kid on her first day of school?!
Trending at #2: Sofia Vergara (who, apparently, is 40 years old) donned s string bikini, got photographed in it, and posted it online - I wonder if I should have done the same around my 40th birthday; then, maybe, I would be a bit richer now?
An enterprising 4th grader right here, in our fair city of New York, secretly filmed his school lunches and basically called them "yuck" - where are you, nanny Bloomy and parteigenosse Michelle?
"Best Toilet Paper Brands" - only in America! In dear step-mama country ANY toilet paper was almost as precious as vodka!
"Young Celebs Bring Back Body Chains Look" - their claim to fame that's not even an original idea? Truly an achievement!
Justin Bieber hit a paparazzi with his Ferrari - who the heck issued him a driver's licence and why does he still have it?
And, finally, a union boss in England was making a "fiery speech" against welfare cuts and accused Kate of being a "young woman having babies to get state handouts" - and here I thought union bosses could not get any slimier or moronic.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 17

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is once again in triple H, darn it - well, summer is here.
George came in to snuggle this morning, and this time he decided not to groom me in the manner of all felines; instead, he wanted to play my secretary and answer the phone that was blaring from the night stand. Sniffles was taking the air on the window sill in the kitchen and giving us his usual glance of utter disdain. One look at him and I postulated that that was probably the precise pose and look that made the ancient Egyptians start worshiping cats; Baby Bro was in complete agreement.
Ina was making some kind of mouth-watering porterhouse with another chef in California. After grilling it they "bathed" it in clarified butter with garlic and herbs!
ION is showing Mercury Rising once again - I wonder if they are doing it just because, or in the spirit of current events (not that that was a profound movie or anything).
Second of five things you did not know about Emma Watson: she was the youngest person (at 15) to ever appear on the cover of Teen Vogue - another magnificent piece of historical trivia without which your life simply won't be complete.
Kim Kardashian is trending at #3 for the obvious reasons, but no additional news on the baby - millions of fans biting their nails in anticipation!
Channing Tatum, on the other hand, just shared the pictures of his baby daughter - oodles of satisfied fans on this front.
In the news of fashion: "Bjork outdoes Swan Dress" - with a head dress that completely blows, in my estimation! Plus, I kind of dug the swan dress too.
Justin Bieber won big in some kind of awards - more girlfriends for him?
Kate attended Queen's birthday parade in pink, which to people in the know meant that she was saying her baby is a girl - ah, the profound things in life people are concerned with!
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING REPORT - JUNE 16

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there! The weather is a bit iffy, but not bad. Sniff keeps trying to escape the apartment and explore the hallway; George was trying to hunt some birds earlier today.
The Singing Slavs disappointed us last night and did not perform as scheduled.
The news of monumental proportions - Kim K. gave birth to her daughter yesterday! No details available yet, aside from the fact that the baby supposedly looks like her mommy and her name will begin with K; the hard-core fans usually come equipped with a lot of patience, so, they will wait for the rest of the information as it comes along.
Second important piece of news: Jennifer Connelly's hair are now shoulder length - well, she does look a bit younger with the new style. In the same vein - blonde is not Olivia Wilde's best look.
Pope blessed hundreds of Harleys this morning - interesting. So now we should stop calling the bikers "organ donors"?
Among the things "you don't know about Emma Watson" is the fact that she was born on April 15 in Paris and lived in France till the age of 5 - congratulations! You just learned a very important bit of historical trivia.
Paris Jackson hates Justin Bieber - aw, poor Justin!
And, finally, Kate does seem to be enjoying some quite time.
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 14

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! Happy Flag Day and Happy Birthday to US Armed Forces!
People complain about the weather, but to me - no triple H, no torrential rain, no need for a/c - me very happy! The crazy upstairs is doing her usual deeds. My roommate decided to enjoy a decadent lifestyle and is now blasting music in the shower.
Sniff was not happy about the closed bathroom door - or the music, for that matter; but then Sniff rarely looks happy. Baby Bro had an idea to create inspirational posters with that animal with a caption "Mr. Sniffles does not approve!" George, on the other hand, came in to snuggle last night and decided to groom me again in the cat style - the fact that I am not a cat did not penetrate his feline brain.
Alton Browne was talking about soft pretzels - and I immediately pictured him with a nice home-made pretzel and a big shot gun. Ina is making French onion soup and chocolate mousse with whipped cream - yum!
Sandra Bullock is trending at #2 right now because she showed up at the premier of her new movie in a backless dress that showed off her bra - as if she is the only one who flashes her unmentionables!
More from the news of fashion: "J Lo rocks curve-hugging dress" - no danger of her ever rocking her brains.
And yet more from the news of fashion: Miley Cyrus stepped out in "hybrid" denim and sweatpants - at least this is not permanent, like a tat.
"Who Is Kate Upton Kissing?" - as long as it's not me, I really don't care.
Mariah Carey is a huge fan of "The Game of Thrones" - my friends who are the fans (you know who you are) - welcome a new member to your club!
Jennifer Aniston recently remodeled her house and the back yard, but kept the chicken coop that was there when she purchased the house - I wonder if she feeds those chickens herself. Now that would be a photo op!
"Selena Gomez Is Done with Justin Bieber After Miley Cyrus Flirt Fest" - well, duh! I guess Jelena is well and truly dead.
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 13

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's raining and pouring once more, and Baby Bro surmised that it must be the fault of the Jews, as we pray for rain - and we got it.
Feline companions are extra sleepy again, and right now George is sleeping on my bed, so Sniffles is taking advantage of it and sleeping in the cat house. Both of them were also deemed by our resident cat expert fit enough to be served full fat food together with their usual weight loss chow.
Melissa is cooking meal full of pork products - so, I guess that when she was living in Paris, Muslims did not attack non-Muslims for eating pork - or maybe she feels safe cooking it here.
Jennie Garth is trending at #2 because she finalized her divorce. She also took the "unusual approach to it" - the divorce was quite and civilized; that is unusual!
Trending at #9 are the skyrocketing sales of "1984" - huge surprise! The only unusual factor is that the book did not become extra popular about 5 years ago.
"Honey Boo Boo's Mom Sports 'Baywatch' look" - spare me, please!
"Betty White's Unusual Lunch" - hot dogs and fries! Oh, come on, people! She is 91, for goodness sake! Let her enjoy it!
Happy 27th Birthday to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen! How to tell them apart? Ask for their autograph - Ashley is right-handed, and Mary-Kate uses her left one.
"Jessica Alba rocks retro swimsuit" - in order to really "rock" a 60's swimsuit you got to have the glamour and femininity of the 60's stars, which is totally absent from modern Hollywood, so, stop swooning, guys.
Halle Berry's fiance accidentally blabbed their baby's gender (they are having a boy) - I wonder how many nights did he spend on the couch because of it?
Kris Jenner is getting her own show - and here I thought the collective IQ of their audience could not go any lower.
Speaking of which - another scandal is rocking the nation! It looks like Kanye cheated on Kim! Of course, he is denying the accusations - but who would believe him, anyway?
"What's The Deal With Justin Bieber's Crazy Car Collection?" - um, allow me to go on a limb here and postulate - crazy owner?
And, finally, Kate attended the naming of the Princess Cruise's new ship, after which she is supposed to go on maternity leave - rest well, Kate, and good luck!
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 12

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather rocks! 
Happy 25th Anniversary to my family! Gd bless USA and the memory of Ronald Reagan!
And, now, to weightier matters.
Feline companions are enjoying the good weather - they are less sleepy and more aggressive. George also became more vocal (it that is possible) since he re-acquainted himself with wet food - the requests are frequent and very loud. Sniffles is much less demanding - at least in this area. For now they have divided the spheres of influence in Baby Bro's room: Sniff is on his bed, and George is in the huge Amazon box.
Godiva send me a reminder about upcoming Father's Day - they are obviously not that familiar with my dad and his personal taste in chocolate if they are seriously suggesting I buy some of their stuff for him.
Emma Watson "stole the show" in a low cut dress - spare me. If any female celebrity "steals the show" dressed like a Mormon or a lady from PB, that would be news; this is not.
Heidi Klum is currently trending at #3 because of her drunken argument with a boyfriend - already? I guess the bliss did not last that long.
Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer finally revealed the names of their twins after 10 months! Their poor fans! And here I thought that the few days it took for the Tatum's fans to find out about his baby were hard!
"Snooki's Most Elegant Look" - here is an oxymoron for you.
"Surprisingly useful things to do with vodka" - don't embarrass yourselves, people! You just figured those out?!! Russians have known it for centuries!
Justin Bieber was caught flirting with Miley Cyrus - I guess the Jelena is over once again. What would it be now? Melena? Cyber? Jumi? The possibilities are endless.
"Even the hermit who spent 27 years alone can't escape the Kardashians" - ouch!
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug - in honor of the magnificent weather 

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 11

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather seems to be improving, but still threatening with rains. Yesterday Baby Bro casually asked if it actually rained for about 40 days now and maybe he should start building something or other.
The owner of the fangs that left impressions in my arm Saturday night still did not come forward. Yesterday, as I was about to go to bed, Sniff, unlike George, did not come in to snuggle; instead he decided to run around like a horse and yowl loudly. He also got cat's tuna today - thankfully, without the adverse effects of human tuna.
Crazy upstairs is not only up to her usual tricks, but it sounds like they are moving furniture - in the morning as well as around 1:30 am; well, strictly speaking, that's also morning.
Melissa is making tabbouleh with Israeli couscous - her husband is from France; doesn't she know that it's dangerous to irritate our dear first cousins?
Godiva sent me a reminder about this month's as of yet unclaimed freebies - ah, how sweet! (pun not intended)
Emma Watson is "gracing" the cover of the latest issue of W in "old glamour" shot - funny, I don't remember old glamour shots with just a jacket.
Amy Adams departed from her "conservative" style at the premiere of "Man of Steel" - translation: she put on black dress with lace and "peekaboo details" in the back.
Katy Perry also made into the news of fashion and also with black: she showed up in goth-channeling ensemble.
"14 "Game of Thrones' insults" - I really prefer Shakespeare, but hey, that's what you get with proud products of our educational system.
In suburban Atlanta a monument erected there about a year ago and dedicated to parteigenosse Michelle's ancestor was toppled - I guess average rednecks got tired of the cult of personality.
7 odd things that thieves love to steal: Bibles, pregnancy tests, Nutella, hair extensions, high end vacuum cleaners, energy drinks and Tide! Feel free to compose a limerick in order to make sense of this. The whole list makes me laugh, especially Bibles. Come to think of it, Nutella, Tide, and preggo tests also take the cake.
And, finally, gamblers are betting big bucks on Kate's baby - sex, hair color, names; but, most importantly, will it come before or after Kim K.'s baby. And people tell me I that I have no life!
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 10

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! It's raining pretty hard today - the second thing I hate about NY weather, after triple H, is torrential rain. Ah, well, at least I don't have to go out - thank you, Stop & Shop!
Ladies, I hope your Rosh Chodesh was nice and enjoyable yesterday, and you did not overdo it on the domestic front, and, of course, your husbands gave you presents like they are supposed to - I know, I can always dream.
George hears when I get into bed - because he immediately appears in my room from wherever he was before, jumps on my bed as well, and begins meowing piteously, asking to be petted. On the same topic - I would dearly like to know why I have a faint impression of 4 feline fangs on my arm. Sniff likes to sleep with Baby Bro - more specifically, on his head. And, as it's raining, both cats are in their beds of choice.
Breaking headline from the end of last week: Chewbacca was stopped by TSA over his light saber - even iconic figures and weapons are not save from TSA.
Speaking of which:Star Wars Episode VII will begin filming in January - I wonder what kind of geeks this one will attract.
Beyonce attended Kanye's birthday party in a "midriff baring outfit" that squashed pregnancy rumors - staff and patients at Lenox Hill can breathe easy. And speaking of preggos - Kanye's shindig did not include a future mother of his child, Kim K. - go figure.
Currently trending at #2: "Patrick Schwarzenegger flexes muscle" - I guess being exited about flexing brain is too much to ask.
Trending at # 1: Kylie Jenner takes her Mercedes SUV for a spa day - please see above.
Simon Cowell was pelted with eggs on live TV - what too so long?
List of bizarre allergies: money (nickel), shoes (leather), and water (additives in it) - wow! I guess if I am only allergic to human stupidity, I should count myself very lucky.
"Justin Bieber Snaps Photo of Fan's Bra, Tweets "I Guess Everyone Grows Up" - yuk!
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 7

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's pouring outside - but, thank Gd, no triple H! Feline companions are not very happy about the weather, though, and sleep more than usual. George dragged the confiscated from Claudio and recently re-discovered mouse to my room. Sniff got into the pantry again and re-sniffed all the cans there. The crazy upstairs is back with a vengeance.
Happy 6th Birthday to my sweet nephew! I love you tons, my big boy!
Happy National Donut Day! Of course, my faves are not available in this here neighbourhood. But, for those concerned with the issue - I finally finished all my Godiva freebies this morning.
Emma Watson is planning to go back to Brown - everyone is waiting with baited breath and wondering if the second time would be the charm for her.
Khloe Kardashian is currently trending at #4, but I can't figure out why - ah, who cares.
"Recipe for a perfect yellow cake" - if I am not mistaken, isle 12 in Stop and Shop has Duncan Hines, and yellow cake mix is usually on sale.
The valedictorian who ripped up his approved graduation speech and said a prayer instead made the national news! They also did not forget to mention that the audience applauded, but the teachers did not look pleased - eat it, liberal hacks!
On the lighter side, another high school published a year book with a picture of a dog in it - his picture was the cutest from all the others shown.
"Putin announced split from his wife on state TV" - I know people speculate a lot on what happened, but I, frankly, don't give a flying banana.
"Hottest shoes for the summer" - if they are not comfy, I don't care how hot they are.
"Celeb Vacation Spots for Less" - I don't want to see them on ordinary days, why would I want to vacation in the same area?
"Justin Bieber Announces Latin America Tour Dates" - what would it be? Another monkey? Or maybe a rare parrot? Another swooning fit? The fans are on tenterhooks of anticipation!
Another designer, this time Roberto Cavalli, offered his two cents worth of opinion on how Kate could be dressing - he thinks she could be "bolder" in her choices.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MEMORIAL DAY

So, another Memorial Day came and went. Almost everyone got their day off – and my local library got three days in a row. Our Usurper-in Chief got to bloviate once more. There were, of course, sales galore, barbecues, and throngs of people just having good time. Our dear city, where Memorial Day is usually the official start of the air conditioning season, was blessed with a magnificent day – warm, sunny, breezy, low humidity; just perfect.

I made a mistake of actually leaving my stinking borough, which was long ago overrun by barbarian hordes, where English is pretty rare, and American flags are rarer still (even on Memorial Day), and traveled to Manhattan – because I simply had to enjoy the sunshine somewhere. And I never felt more like looking for the wanted ads in Houston like I did on that gorgeous New York Monday.

There were, as usual, big crowds taking advantage of the rare spring weather. Thanks again to He Who Must Not Be Named and who canceled Fleet Week, there were no sailors in those crowds (bummer for me, as I enjoy seeing real men on the streets of our city for a change). All those people – and I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of the ones who somehow acknowledged what the day was. Moreover, it was another variation on “multicultural” garbage that I was trying to escape – apparently in vain. Throngs and throngs of people (some of them literally stinking),speaking in barbarian tongues; most notably, “Hispanics” and, even more soul-pleasing, a whole rainbow of the practitioners of the religion of peace. It was such a perfect, totally Memorial Day-themed scene!

But eventually the sun, that natural healer from the Almighty, calmed me down a bit, and my brain started thinking about different things. Enemies that our warriors died fighting – Nazis, Communists, Muslims. All the malevolent forces who tried and are still trying to destroy America – and the Jews; everyone hates Big Satan and little Satan. And yet here I am – a free American. And, as dorky as it sounds, I was reminded once again that I owe it to their memory as well as to my conscience to never surrender and to never give up. I always joked that one of the reasons I do not want to move out of New York is in order not to give up my position to invading liberals and other America-haters. Well, jokes aside, I really feel like this.

So, Houston, I love you, and you do have many more real men roaming you streets, but I am staying put – because falling back and surrendering is not an option, as we, American patriots, are reminded every Memorial Day.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 6

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is still rocking! George is back in his Amazon box; Sniff came in to snuggle this morning. People usually stare at my feet because I am wearing flippies in 40 degree weather, but now they are staring at the weird design, which is the result of Sniff's nibbling - thanks, kitty! Also, Baby Bro and I had a slight disagreement regarding George's full name: according to me, he is George Hamilton Borukhov; according to Baby Bro, he is either George Borukhov (as per vet's records), or he is George Ffuffikin Hamilton - I guess the decision of the judges is final, as he (George) is officially my roommate's kitty.
Emma Watson "debuts a new hair style at the movie premier" - translation: her hair is now shoulder-length.
Trending at #3: Drunk governor - Massachusetts governor admits to getting drunk after the marathon bombings. Brilliant signs of a true leader - not only being a wuss, but proudly admitting it!
Jennifer Aniston "recycled" a dress - number one - isn't recycling good? Number two - give her a break; whatever she is guilty of, I am sure that being married to Brad Pitt goes a long way towards redemption.
A woman in Duluth got horrible back pain, which resulted in a baby on the next day - she claims she had no idea she was pregnant whatsoever; plus, her hubby had a vasectomy - I guess somebody somewhere has some splainin to do, beginning with the doctor who performed that said vasectomy.
"Steal Style Ideas from Celebrities Kitchens" - thanks, but no thanks.
Daniel Radcliffe would like to have children - good luck, dude!
Justin Bieber is planing a trip to space - I thought he already came from there.
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug - which reminds me: Central Park is beginning to look like The City By The Bay - too many men holding hands (yuk and barf).

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 5

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Weather rocks once again! Last night Sniff decided that maybe it might be my week as well and came to snuggle, lick, and head butt - all, of course, while I was sleeping.
Marc Summers was talking about midnight snacks and munchies - in honor of college graduations?
Yesterday I observed a following tableau: a little boy of about 4 or 5 was walking in Central Park together with his liberal UWS daddy. He (the boy) had a piece of soft pretzel in his hand - but that was too boring. So, he started waving it in the air and yelling: "Look, daddy, this is my gun!" - take that, libtards and Bloomberg! Boys will be boys, and they love to play with guns!
Daniel Radcliffe would like to star in Star Wars - that would be an interesting battle of different nerds and crazies.
Adele is trending at #3 because Rolling Stones would like to perform together with her - again, that would be an interesting mix of differently disturbed people.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is pregnant and engaged (to the father of her future child) - mazal tov!
A dude claims to have lost 250 lb on the 99c store diet - I believe it's called semi-starvation.
Emma Watson almost had a wardrobe malfunction at the premiere of her latest movie - here is my thought: with some many clothes "malfunctions" of the stars lately, maybe it's time to rethink the clothing choices?
Among the 10 best foods for you salmon is mentioned once again - is it why it's so effin expensive?
"Katie Couric isn't as nice as you think" - yea, no joke, Sherlock! Right wingers have known this little tidbit for a while.
Amazon is expanding into online grocery business - so now we would be able to do a one stop shopping for both mind and body.
And, finally, Kate "recycled" her outfit from the Diamond Jubilee to the 60th Anniversary of coronation with a minor difference: her baby bump - oh, what a profound observation!
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 4

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather rocks!!! It's definitely not my week in Sniff's estimation - he hardly looks at me. George, on the other hand, alternated between my bed and the cat house last night.
Ina is baking cookies and making sandwiches with herb butter - yum!
Baby Bro and I were discussing the constant overabundance of emergency vehicles outside. He postulated that it was either a)proximity to the hospital, b) the amount of elderly neighbors, c) the amount of degenerates in the area - we both settled on c.
Daniel Radcliffe admitted to being a "fussy eater" and barely eating any fruit or vegetables - in light of these horrible truths coming out I don't see any way for parteigenosse Michelle to allow him to hang out with her daughters.
Katie Holmes is trending at #4 because it looks like her ex is missing her - well, dude, maybe if you kept up with your anti-psychotic meds, you wouldn't be single now.
Bradley Cooper is trending at #6 because he traveled to DC to listen to Barry Hussein's opening comments at the National Conference on Mental Health - another one in need of meds (Cooper, not Hussein).
Channing Tatum's fans finally found out that his wife had a girl and that her name is Everly - congratulations! I hope it was worth the wait!
Advise for a wedding gift: don't give baby clothes! Who the heck does that?!! Oh, yes, of course, it was in My Big Fat Greek Wedding! Probably also popular in some of our circles.
Maria Carey was spotted in "belly baring ensemble" again - why is this news again?
Bieber was spotted with a "mystery brunette" who is not Selena Gomez - I guess his bout of crying over his breakup with Selena is over. Incidentally, Tatum's "paternal instincts are kicking in" as he claims that he is worried over Bieber - dude, stick to your own progeny.
Coffee this morning in my Boston mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 3

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! It's raining outside, but there is no triple H - thank Gd! Feline companions do not appreciate the rain and are now sleeping - George on my bed, and Sniff by Baby Bro. By the way, I think this is the week when Sniff is being nice to my roommate, as all he did at night was to sleep in the cat house - there was no snuggling on my bed.
Recent discovery - donating blood to NY Blood Bank is a better experience than donating to Maimonides hospital - the phlebotomists know what they are doing, and afterwards you actually find out what blood type you are.
Daniel Radcliffe doesn't just want one tat - he wants to get lots of them, once he is finished filming all his "naked scenes". Oh, come on - there is such thing as makeup, Daniel! Go ahead and ink up!
Courtney Love Cobain recently twitted to Amanda Bynes, urging her to "pull it together" - which advice, coming from Love, looks like a height of delusional mania grandiosity.
Portia de Rossi is trending at #2 now because of fans "wild speculations" about whenever or not she had plastic surgery - considering how plasticy she looks to begin with, I think the discussion is moot.
Tatum baby is trending at #3 - even though we still don't know either the sex or the name of the said baby.
Trending at #6 is Kardashian baby: the public finally found out that Kim and Kanye are having a girl - yippee!
Speaking of which - Bruce Jenner is trending at #2 for "slamming" Kanye about "never being around" - trouble in paradise?
An apple a day is apparently beneficial for your memory; the other beneficial product - red whine! Interesting - so, if we drink white wine, we forget all the garbage men visit on us, but if we drink red whine, we remember it? Points to ponder.
Justin Bieber was "driving around" with a "mystery blond" - oh, heck, Jelena over again?! Also, he claimed that he is enjoying "much needed time off" - ditto, Justin. We would really appreciate time off from you.
And, finally, Kate Middleton was "slammed for 'glamorous pregnancy'", making it hard for "real pregnant women" - yea, because being pregnant and having no privacy is fun; it is also very hard to figure out that if you have gobs of money and personal attendants, your pregnancy is "more glamorous".
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - JUNE 2

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Happy June! The weather is in triple H again - me, Georgie, and Sniff not happy about it. George was extra demanding yesterday, and kept biting me after being petted - although according to Baby Bro that's their way of showing love and attention as well (they attempt to groom you). And speaking of feline love - Sniff was extra attentive and snuggly as well - which Baby Bro suspects is his PR campaign of proving to us that he really is a fantastic pet, and he takes me on even weeks, and him on alternate ones.
The Best Thing I Ever Made had a meat-lovers segment on - yum! Also, Channel 9 is showing the Salute to Israel Parade, which reminds me of not one, but two instances of not so youthful folly when I volunteered to this event.
Dr. Ruth was a sniper and fought in Israeli War of Independence - I would never look at her in the same way!
Saturday was the "worst day" of Tiger's career - and here I thought it was the day he was playing with comrade Barry Hussein; go figure.
Channing Tatum's first baby was born on Thursday - fans sit in anticipation of sex and name announcements.
Trending at #6: Kanye baby shower - both Kanye's and Kardashian families are expected to attend this blessed event, and my head does not even want to imagine it.
Selena Gomez had a nice day of shopping yesterday minus Justin Bieber - aw, the fans of Jelena suffered another setback!
Speaking of Bieber: his former pet monkey got a new home at a wildlife park in Germany - I guess the attendance there would be high for at least a little while.
And, finally, Kate is scheduled to participate in a ship naming a month before her baby is due - and people in the know are waiting with baited breath to see what she is going to wear.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 31

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is in triple H again - and it looks like some crazies are actually enjoying it! You can also smell the hot weather - literally - on the subway.
Last night there was some kind of commotion under my windows involving running, shouts of "stop, police", radio squawking, etc. - this neighbourhood is becoming too interesting.
The crazy upstairs is doing her usual noisy deeds.
Felines are not crazy about the weather, but don't like the a/c either. Baby Bro attempted to clip their claws this morning - no success.
Emma Watson admitted to constantly feeling "inadequate" as an actress - well, she is, but then she is in good company, as most of actors and actresses today are inadequate.
Daniel Radcliffe claimed that he was a big fan of the musical Oliver while growing up and always wanted to try picking pockets - interesting, that.
Jennifer Aniston is trending at #1 as she "detailed" her yoga workout - yoga enthusiasts, feel free to chime in.
Kim Kardashain is trending at #3 because of her "swollen ugly feet" in flip flops that was considered a latest "fashion faux pas" - ah, eh, news flash! She is effin pregnant! It's hot! And preggos do get swollen feet - a lot!
There is also a suggestion of doing jumping jacks in your cubicle in lieu of coffee in order to feel more awake at work - I sometimes wonder if people writing this stuff ever held a "real" job.
Then there is a list of 10 points on how to keep your home secure - 2 points from me: get a gun and post about it on your door!
A friend of the groom at Louisiana wedding decided it would be a good idea to unleash a T-rex on the wedding party - thereby proving, once again, that men have only two stages of development: childhood and old age.
Bieber denies the latest paternity claim - no comment.
Coffee this morning in Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 30

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is "summary" - again, whoever complained about it being too cold, my revenge is not swift, but definitely thorough.
George renewed his interest in the Amazon box; Sniff is taking advantage of the empty cat house.
Yesterday Baby Bro wrote a recommendation for an old student of his for a camp counselor job - I am sure whoever received it is still trying to google the meaning of about half the words there.
Few days ago, while flipping channels, I ended up watching about 2 minutes of Rachel Maddow and 1 minute of whoever comes after her - gosh, what a terrifying glimpse into the minds of liberals.
Speaking of which, both Hussein and Bloomberg got poisoned letters - aw, where is the love, people?
Kim Kardashian is trending at #2 because she "nearly suffered a wardrobe malfunction" that ended up being a "Monroe-esque" scene - sorry, but Kim can't do a Marilyn; and what's with constant wardrobe issues?
Trending at #7: "Liam Miley split" - although the decision of the judges is not final on that one.
Bieber is in hot water again: one of his fans claims that she had his child - oh, come on! He himself is worse than a child!
And, finally, Kate's parents are planning to open a subsidiary of their party business right here, in Manhattan - good luck!
Coffee this morning in my clear funky glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 29

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is supposed to go in the direction of triple H pretty rapidly - all of you who kept moaning and asking when the summer is going to come, don't be surprised if strange things would start happening in your house soon, as I invoked some pixies to annoy you.
Both felines are slowly loosing interest in the Amazon box.
A couple of days ago a friend was dropping off some stuff, and he forgot my apartment number - but was able to quickly orient himself as my door is impossible to miss: it has american and israeli flags and a big USA sign on it.
Yesterday ION decided to re-run The First Knight, which once again made me wonder: a - who decided to cast Richard Gere in the role of any knight, and b - all the women who thought or think that he is attractive, or in any way decent actor, should really have their heads examined.
Trending at #5: Kate Upton is "furious" with Victoria's Secret because they used her old photo without her permission after "dissing" her for so long - well, nobody ever accused Victoria's Secret of having too much class.
Trending at #7: Daniel Radcliffe is not against playing Potter's father, if Rowling would write some more - thanks, but no thanks, Daniel. You sucked as Harry and I am sure you would suck as James.
Trending at #1: Kelly Rowland broke down in tears while singing a song about her old "rivalry" with Beyonce - so, I guess the diva pissed off more people in her life than just the other new parents at Lenox Hill hospital.
Trending at #8: Obama had to explain the lipstick on his collar - I don't even want to know.
"There is a reason why 20 million adults visit Disney World each year without a kid in tow" - yes, to forget that you are an adult, you morons!
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 28

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! It's raining again, but no triple H - so, me ok with that. Feline companions, however, feel sluggish and extra sleepy - another "no complain". Sniff attacked George on my bed once again - he suffered a major defeat in about 20 seconds, but I admire persistence. Another sign of his persistence - there is an obvious hole in the last non-holy window blind I had.
The crazy upstairs is back with a vengeance - and now, after a brisk vacuuming, there are banging noises coming from upstairs.
Alton Brown was making all kinds of gooey pastry; ditto Paula with her cinnamon buns; and Ina is making scrumptious-looking mac and cheese, plus dessert!
Speaking of which - I run out of butter and sour cream, shame on my house-keeping skills!
Trending at #1: a fan slapped Beyonce's butt during concert - no comment.
Trending at #3: Amanada Bynes and Rihanna feud on Twitter - I guess when you are a genius, 140 characters or less is all you need to show your mental abilities to the world.
Rob Kardashian's weight loss is still trending at #6 - gee, how long can one person talk about weigh loss already?
There is also a spread of "sexy celebrity legs" - I still miss Betty Grable.
Trending at #2: R-Patz spent a weekend with Katy Perry - twyhearts, hankies at the ready!
Bieber was accused of reckless driving - why is this news?
And, finally, Kate is planning to move in with her parents after the baby is born - how Jewish is this?
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 27

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is rocking! I am always hoping against hope that it is going to stay like this for the rest of the summer - but I will take what I get and try to enjoy it. 
Today is Memorial Day - and it is gratifying to know that a lot of people remember that it is not just an extra day off to enjoy sales and barbecues. 
Of course, our Dear Leader deprived us of Fleet Week, siting the usual sequester garbage - so, instead of cute sailors our fair city if full of just crazy tourists. Thanks, Hussein!
Baby Bro if VOLUNTARILY reading Anna Karenina!!!!
Paula is cooking with Garth Brooks' wife. They are making something hot, spicy, fried, full of butter, and very colorful - hurray for Georgia girls!
The Battle for the Amazon Box continues! Sniff's usual attack tactic is to gain a higher ground and then attack; well, the higher ground in this case happens to be the edges of the box, which makes for a very entertaining picture.
Daniel Radcliffe announced that at the ripe old age of 23 he is finally planning to get a tat - congratulations!
"Many of the world's most glamorous ladies flaunted their curves on the red carpet during the past 11 days at the Cannes Film Festival." - what an oxymoron! Because whoever is considered "most glamorous" in the film industry today usually has no curves to speak of, so, what the heck they were "flaunting" is a mystery to me.
Trending at #3: Upstate NY near Vermont border got 3 feet of snow over the weekend - global warming, my coccyx!
Rob Kardashian's diet (which is trending at #6) is, apparently, working, and his sister Kim looks sexy in white (or so they claim) - at least everyone is dressed this time around.
Charles' and Diana's wedding is considered one of the most expensive weddings of all times - which, if I was a Brit, I would be seriously bummed about, considering how happy they made each other, and how it all ended.
Their older son's wedding also took a huge bite out of the treasury, but, so far, it looks to be very different and much happier marriage.
Coffee this morning in my hug Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 26

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! The weather is sunny and breezy - enjoying it!
The Singing Slavs did not disappoint either last night or the week before: last week they were dancing on the corner by the music emanating from a parked car and rivaling in volume a 747, and last night they were singing on top of their lungs and jiggling bottles. 
My friend recommended introducing the crazy upstairs to FB, thereby eliminating the sound of her vacuum cleaner forever - a sound idea.
Feline companions continue their on again, off again battle for the new amazon box.
Emma Watson recently joked (referring to her latest movie) that she is no "pro" at the pole-dancing - a skill worthy of acquiring, I am sure.
If you are impatient to find out if Kim Kardashian is having a boy or a girl, tune in to the next episode of her show - thanks, but I think I would prefer to remain in blissful ignorance.
Apparently, there is such a thing as "Bieber Salute" - ignorant me! It consists of dear Justin pulling up his top and showing off his "washboard abs" - where is the spittoon when one needs it? Also, it looks like he got himself a new leopard print car - why specifically leopard? Why not tiger or zebra?
8 year old Zahara Jolie-Pitt is tired of her parents' smooching - she is not yet aware of the fact that that is the least of her dear parents' transgressions.
And, finally, Kate and Will are preparing a nursery that will probably be "modest" - by whose standards?
Will is also "exited" for Kate to give birth - duh!
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 24

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! The weather is cool and rainy, but I will enjoy every minute of it, because as of Thursday, we get the triple H. The crazy upstairs is back with a vengeance. This morning Sniff met me at the bathroom door (as is his custom), followed me to the kitchen, and closely supervised the pancake making process - a little disconcerting to make pancakes with a pair of yellow eyes staring at you. George is alternating between his new and huge amazon box and my bed.
Marc Summers is talking about salty foods - where are you, Bloomberg?
Trending at #1: Gisele Bundchen "introduces" her "gorgeous" sister Gabriela via instagram - personally never considered Gisele gorgeous, but wonder how many men had heart palpitations.
Trending at #10: Amanda Seyfried's dog got himself a movie role as well - hopefully, the dog is a better actor than an average Hollywood dweller today; plus, there is a guarantee that the dog would not become a political activist.
Prince Charles is trending at #9: his chopper was forced to make an emergency landing en route to Wales, where Charles and Camilla were scheduled to attend some kind of literary festival - serves you right, Charlie! If you would have traveled via donkey (or walked) as befitting your envirowaco philosophy, nothing would have happened to you.
"'Glee' star bares toned abs"; also, Mariah's dress "malfunctioned" on live TV - calling all horny teenagers, I guess.
Selena Gomez went to dinner with Jaden Smith - but we were assured that Jelena is by no means other.
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 23

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is improving, but still a bit too warm for my comfort. We got a fresh amazon box for the feline's delectation - and it's huge, as their food and litter came in it  They both love the box, and, like mature cats that they are, they take their turns in it - almost without fighting. Also, Sniff came in to snuggle few times last night.
Alton Brown was talking about green beans - still can't look at him the same way after I saw his picture with a huge gun! Marc Summers had a special on sandwiches, and Ina and Melissa both made rice dishes - yummy!
Daniel Radcliffe claimed that he finally put Harry Potter image "behind him" and also "revealed" in an interview that he was given a step by step instructions on how to film a homosexual scene - yea, no joke, Sherlock! That is so not Harry Potter - and please don't start yammering to me about Dumbledore! Yuk and barf!
Target is now offering wedding gowns; prices are from 99 to 129 bucks - take that, snobs!
Trending at #2: "Halle Berry baby bump" - as in she recently showed it, so, stop the presses!
Trending at #7: Janet Jackson officially joined the billionaire club - as in she married a billionaire from Qatar and in the process converted to Islam. Janet, just staying in the millionaire club was not enough?
Amanda Bynes was banned from a private jet flight somewhere in Jersey after she tried to google herself as a proof of id - enterprising.
Hussein's PR team decided to release his senior prom photo - I guess to lighten the mood. Thanks, but no, thanks! What I really want is a much, much longer list of real documents.
Among the best airlines, JetBlue and Southwest are mentioned for their free check in luggage - this dinosaur remembers the times when you could check in your luggage free on ALL the airlines!
Maria Sharapova is "gushing" about her younger boyfriend - she herself is 26, for eff's sake, not 66!
An 11 year old girl in London is such a talented ballerina that she was recently accepted into the Royal Ballet School - but she is also a black belt in taekwondo! You go, girlie!
And, finally, in Kate news - she attended queen's annual summer garden party, as always looking the picture of elegance, in high heels, gorgeous pearl earrings (emphasis mine), and the cutest hat that is now being discussed all over the place.
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 22

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is approaching bla-y conditions, with intermittent rains and double H turning into triple - thank Gd for first floor apartment in the old building, with windows facing north!
Right corner of my laptop bears an unmistakable impression of the feline fangs - thanks, George! I also committed a tactical error 2 nights ago - left my ear buds on the desk overnight. Thank Gd they are still working - George, you have been a very naughty old cat indeed!
Emma Watson claims that she was watching Kardashins show in order to portray a socialite in her new movie - interesting, if completely flawed, research. 
Brad Pitt is trending at #2 right now due to being an extremely classy guy: he claims that his marriage to Aniston was "pathetic", he "got burned out" , "was wasting his opportunity" and got out - so, let me get this straight: you publicly cheat on your wife, shack up with your new squeeze, have a few kids with that one, do not propose marriage for a number of years using the most pathetic excuses, finally propose marriage, still trash your ex publicly, and then have millions of women swoon over you and consider you the sexiest man alive?! No wonder "regular" guys think that being a disgusting pig would get them "more chicks".
Trending at #6: Kim K.'s baby shower invites - I don't even want to know.
Trending at #7: Bieber threatens to sue his own party guests to the tune of 5 millions if they "snitch" - interesting hospitality laws not mentioned by Emily Post.
He is also besties with Chris Brown - they definitely deserve each other.
And, his monkey now officially belongs to the Germans - good going, krauts! Once in a blue moon you actually showed some humanity.
Finally, in Kate news: a "prominent feminist" Joan Smith "dedicated" a chapter to Kate in her latest book, claiming that she (the Duchess) is just an unambitious, bland individual, who had done nothing with her life after college but played a supporting role to her boyfriend, married him, and now gotten pregnant. Now, I understand that for any self-proclaimed feminist today just falling in love, marrying, and having children is an anathema, but I, in my tiny non-progressive brain, prefer women pursuing that as opposed to "fighting" for killing the unborn babies, defending perverts, and kissing up to the muslim invaders.
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 20

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather seems to be improving, but rain still threatens. Feline companions seem to have divided the apartment into the spheres of influence, although Sniff, in a true democrat fashion, continue to break the convention.
Alton Brown was talking about meringue, and Ina was cooking something delish with cream on one side and flavored butter on the other - yum!!!
Emma Watson claims that she does not care about sex appeal - what about W cover and that over cover "channeling" Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman?
Trending at #2: "Stewart Pattinson split" - poor twyhearts, the seesaw you are subjected to!
Trending at #7: "Bieber Gomez" - these ones seem to be attached for now; they were even sitting together at Billboard Awards with Taylor Swift towering over them (in more ways than one) - so, I guess what happened in Vegas did not stay in Vegas, and Jelena is back on for now. Selena also "dared in diagonally slit dress" at that star-studded gala - this is what's passing for empowered woman now a day?
At the same shindig J Lo appeared in red leotard that, according to a fan's tweet, channeled a Big Red Chicken from Dora - to me she looked like a strange witchy incarnation that somehow managed to misplace her skirt.
And, finally, Kate has been taking cooking classes from her Italian housekeeper in order to impress her hubby - I only wonder when is she going to actually put her newly acquired knowledge to use.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 19

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! It's rainy today - but not torrentially, so me happy.
Feline companions, though, are not that thrilled about the rain. Couple of days ago Sniff made another strategic error in attacking George on my bed - after which he climbed on top of the toiled and proceeded to meditate while staring at the fish on the shower curtain.
In Best Thing I Ever Made they were talking about fried stuff - yum!
Jennifer Lawrence "dazzled" in a Dior gown - a spectacular achievement, indeed. In related news: Jennifer Aniston and Kate Moss ended up wearing the same dress, and the "people in the know" concluded that it's impossible to compete with the ultimate "chic" of The Kate Moss - people, once again, go the Met! It costs almost nothing, but the refresher course on what is really chic and elegant is priceless!
Then there is a list of spring trends in clothes to avoid - ladies, you like it, you wear it! A photographer from New York traveled through deserts in order to photograph the abandoned sets of the the Star Wars movies - which only shows that nothing lasts forever, not even Star Wars.
Falling in love has five recorded health benefits - as long as you don't fall for "the goat", as the old Russian saying goes.
The list of 10 most dangerous jobs in the US omitted one that really is The Most Dangerous - a right-wing journalist trying to expose the truth about comrade Hussein and his administration.
"Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez Reunite And Get Cozy In Las Vegas" - is Jelena back on, or what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?
And, finally, some publication called Mamas Latinas, was raving about Kate's new hair style - which turned out to be (are you ready for this?) a ponytail!
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 17

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! I hope you all had a fantastic Shavuot! It's windy and cloudy - but completely breathable, so me happy.
Sniff decided to repeat his strategic mistake this morning and attacked George on my bed yet again - George's response was swift and, frankly, merciless; Sniff ended up fluffing his tail and hissing from the floor.
Marc Summers is talking about bacon! And Paula is making some kind of smothered chicken and biscuits, and then cheesecake with praline topping!
Cigarette-smuggling ring was busted in NY - Bloomberg, that shows you that your anti-smoking campaign is not really working, and people are very happy buying smokes without your draconian taxes attached to them.
Rob Kardashian is trending at #1 because he is walking in order to loose weight; his sister Kourtney showed off her "slim, post baby" body in a bikini; and his sister Kim can't really wear heels anymore and has to get flats - in other news, I did laundry this morning.
Selena Gomez "rocked" another half-naked dress - how is this news? When she shows up in something resembling Amish dress, that would, indeed, be newsworthy.
Heff left his latest wife out of his will, but bought her a 5 mil house to make up for it - I wonder if that earned him a trip to the dog house or just the couch.
Justin Bieber will have to pay for his monkey confiscated in the Munich airport - come on, krauts, this is your chance to show compassion! Keep the monkey away from him!
Prince Harry wrapped up his visit to USA by playing in the charity polo match; he then attended a luncheon in his honor, thanked for a wonderful week, concluding with "I have witnessed the extraordinary generosity of the people of this great nation.” - thanks, Harry! We, in turn, collectively apologize for our disgusting First Lady whom you had to visit, and sincerely hope that the sight of her did not put you off your food for long.
Kate was spotted "indulging in a banana muffin and a cappuccino" - leave the poor preggo alone and let her eat in peace! Also, US magazine wants to know which of her maternity looks are our faves - get a life, people!
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 14

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! Happy Erev Shavuot! The weather is on the cool side, but sunny - I am actually loving it; even thought procrastination paid off again, and I was happy that I did not put away my warm blanket ;)
 The crazy upstairs is at it with a vengeance. Sniff decided that the window George now likes is good for him as well - and he is not going to make a dainty cat-sized hole in the blinds, darn it! Right now he is enjoying the cat house while George is away; George, meanwhile, decided that he wants his amazon box back - but we are already using it for recycling.
 Paula was making a cheesecake! Ina was also baking some kind of gooey deliciousness with caramel sauce - yippee!
 A joy to watch! Carrie Underwood is trending at #1 right now because she claimed that she is not ready to have kids - social services in her state thank her for being honest and not providing them with extra work. At #5 - is Beyonce pregnant of not? If she is, we really need to know this time as soon as possible so that doctors, nurses, and, most importantly, expectant parents, would be prepared in advance and stay the hell away from Lenox Hill Hospital. At #7: "Selena Gomez is rocking a bikini in Mexico" - and I rocked a one-piece in Aruba, so what? At#10: new study shows that Americans should "sharply" cut their salt intake - Americans should sharply cut the immigration numbers and the amount of foreign aid, not to mention the amount of time they spent being concerned with what they are eating. Katy Perry "rocked the stage" in some kind of leather outfit - when she stops feeling the need to rock her clothes and just sing, then it would really be newsworthy. Rihanna earned the title of "sexiest bikini body" from Victoria's secret - heck of an achievement! I personally miss Betty Grable - in more ways than one. Hotels in Hawaii are more expensive than the ones in our fair city of New York - even being a fake state of Hussein's birth adversely affected their economy! And, finally, "Karl Lagerfeld Would Have Kate Middleton Show More Cleavage" - Karl, go back to your emaciated models and leave a good thing alone!
 Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 13

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! It's sunny and cool - but, as I said before, if it's not triple H or torrential rains, me happy!
Sniff decided to always wait by the bathroom door if I am inside; George continues his unobtrusive work of making a nice cat-sized hole by the window he now prefers. Sniff is also sulking due to his epic loss yesterday.
Today is International Hummus Day - rejoice, oh lovers of chick peas! Marc Summers was talking about ice cream, Paula Dean was making dolce de leche pie, and Ina was talking about cookies - yes!
Dan Brown's new book, Inferno, is due to be released tomorrow - I bet you my Barbie collection that whatever religious group he would trash and insult with this one, it would not be muslims. On the other hand, it made millions of his uneducated fans to look up Dante - a novel experience for most of them, I am sure.
Beyonce's daddy is trending at #3 as he owes IRS over 1.2 mil in back taxes from managing his darling daughter's talent - I wonder who and when is actually going to pay that.
A die-hard fan of the Chicago Blackhawks went into premature labor during the game, but refused to leave till the very end - a novel way to induce labor and to survive it. 
Lamborghini unveiled a new car in honor of its 50th birthday; it's a one-seater called "Egoista". The car is made " for one person only, to allow them to have fun and express their personality to the maximum". I am sure that the line of men affected with middle-age crisis is out the door in every single Lamborghini shop.
Hollywood Life dedicated a whole article to Khloe Kardashain's long red nails - no, thank you, I don't want her mani secrets.
Selena Gomez squashed the rumors of her and Biebs getting back together by claiming that she is available for an ice cream date - why specifically ice cream?
Prince Harry spent a day at Arlington National Cemetery and at Walter Reed hospital - I like this guy more and more. No news on his sister-in-law.
Coffee this morning in my Get A Grip mug that my sis brought for me.

A NIGHT AT THE OPERA

Last week I got a message from one of my friends :”Free tickets to the Opera next Tuesday. Do you want to come?” My response was - hell, yes, I am there! I really, really missed going to the opera, shows, and concerts – stuff you have to ditch from your to do list when you are unemployed. I didn't even care about what we would be listening to – that's how exited I was; an opera by Wagner? An opera by Wagner it is!

So, while I was getting ready, Baby Bro wanted to know what precisely I would be looking at, aside from the walls of the Met. I told him that it would be Wagner, but I had no idea which one. He right away reminded me that my German is not as good as it used to be. Then, being of curious Jewish bent, he immediately googled the whole thing and told me that I would be listening to Siegfried, and the whole thing is over 5 hours. The mental picture of that alone amused him to end - well, younger siblings.... I reminded him that we can always leave if we would not enjoy the performance, of just get tired of it; I also promised to brief him after I got home.

After a friendly usher at the Met tried to scan our tickets, he gave us a bit of a strange look and asked if we wanted to see The Valkyrie, as tonight was a different performance. Basically, our tickets were for Monday night, not Tuesday. But the usher told us to check with with the manager and see if he can help us. The manager exchanged our tickets and told us that the left side of the orchestra was the best he could do – apparently, our free tickets were for the orchestra seats, to boot!

A short investigation reveled that neither my friend nor yours truly were responsible for the mix up, but rather the holder of the original reservations. And, as it turned out, he was not alone, as there were a few more lost souls in the entrance line who were holding the tickets to The Valkyrie. All of us ended up seeing Handel's Giulio Cesare – how in blazes did Baby Bro ended up with thinking if would Siegfried, nobody knows.

Now, my music history teacher would probably be ashamed of her former student, but it was the first time that I heard of this opera (at least it felt like it). Curios as to what particular part of Caesar’s life Handel used as the basic story, I was not surprised to find out that it was his (Caesar's) initial meeting with Cleopatra – at least the way it is portrait in the realm of historical fiction.

I was also aware for a while that both the Met and the New York City Opera are gravitating towards minimalism in their productions, but this new production of the classic surpassed even my wildest conjectures.

You see, the “creative producer” of this “new version”, Sir David McVicar, who hales from Glasgow, Scotland, decided to, I guess, try to absolve himself of his white guilt and in the process make some derisive fun of the British "empire builders". I mean, that is the only explanation I can come up with for the outlandish set of this gorgeous opera. In his view, Romans entering Egypt were conquerors invading a different (and probably superior) culture, so in his artistic interpretation of this theme, the Romans in the opera wore the costumes of British soldiers from the turn of the 20^th century, and the Egyptians resembled Hindus from the same era. The fact that by the time Caesar met Cleopatra, the royal palace of Egypt strongly resembled Rome culturally did not really phase the creative juices of Sir David. He went so far as to dress his Cleopatra as Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's – which annoyed me to no end, both as the historical purist and as a Hepburn fan (my dislike of that particular movie non-withstanding). To that travesty he added Bollywood style dancing (because, I guess, it blends seamlessly with a baroque opera), and, as a cherry on top, some obviously homosexual overtures at the beginning of the third act. Also, I guess just because our dear Mayor got everyone's liver by now, shotguns were shown and “gunshot effects” were used.

But guess what? All of this nonsensical stupidity paled next to two things: the indescribable pleasure of listening to a live performance in a place with perfect acoustics (which beats any kind of electronic invention hands down), and, most importantly, the divine beauty of the music itself.

The genius of Handel, "a dead white male", was mocking all the attempts of mocking the "white culture". His music, written so long ago, is so beautiful and filled with so much soul, that it not only triumphs over the current multicultural stupidity, but will also outlive the said stupidity and delight both civilized people and savages alike in many years to come.

It was a first opera that I actually enjoyed almost in its entirety, not just an introduction, and an aria here, and an aria there. For a period of almost four hours I was transported to a different plain; the idiocy of the modern production did not matter. All I needed to do was close my eyes and enjoy the beautiful voices and the divine music. So, hurray for the genius of the dead white males, and huge thanks to my friend and her co-worker with reading comprehension problems!

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 12

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! Ladies, I know that it's just a couple of days before the Shavuot, but try to enjoy today  
George definitely likes the only window with unbroken blinds and is slowly working on a nice cat shaped hole. Sniffles was waiting for me as I left the shower, but I can't figure out if he missed me, or his hanging out spot, or if he was just hungry.
Jeff Mauro was making some kind of mouth-watering sandwiches; he also made a nice point - southern cooking is a lot like Italian: family enjoying each other and overeating together  I think we can include Jews in this mix as well.
Prince Harry is trending at #4: he sang Happy Birthday to the Olympian Missy Franklin - whatever their faults, these two (Will and Harry) are shaping to be way better than their psychotic parents.
Trending at #7: West Wing evacuated because of an overheated transformer - I guess the amount of hot air produced by this administration was too much for the poor transformer.
Hugh Hefner released an "unusual" family photo - the whole concept of family photo as it relates to Hefner is in itself an oxymoron.
"New Study: Americans dislike Justin Bieber" - could have fooled me.
Kate Middleton "recycled" her polka dot dress from HP exhibit to wear to a friend's wedding - isn't recycling a good thing? Plus, she looked good in that dress. Also, breaking news! Her due date is July 13 - nice to know when to run for the cover.
No coffee yet, but it looks like it would be drank from striped Target glass. 

I GO TO CENTURY 21

A little while ago I went to a place that I usually avoid like the proverbial plague: namely, Century 21. And, to compound the situation, I was dispatched to buy a tie for a person whose taste is diametrically opposed to mine. The problem of the tie selection was easily solved – classical patterns usually work for almost everyone; but the idea of going to Century was still unpalatable. Well, little did I know that I will be entertained during my visit.

First of all, the menswear department, although full of seekers of sartorial excellence on a dime, was not as stuffed as the rest of the store usually is. And then, there were the customers themselves: assorted tourists, the inhabitants of four other than Manhattan boroughs, my Jewish brothers of all different stripes, accompanied by their caring wives, harried downtown employees trying to squeeze a bit of shopping between work and dinner – needless to say, the crowd was pretty varied.

But what really attracted my attention was a guy who was shopping in a slightly different manner from the rest of us: he took about five or six ties, hang them in a row, and was peering at them, trying to figure out what he wanted. But his style of shopping was not what was interesting about him – he himself was, because he and he alone looked like he did not belong at Century 21, but rather at Savile Row. And it weren't his good looks – but rather his manners, his bearing, his whole classy demeanor. I have, for the obvious reasons, gone to more discount shops than I care to remember – but this was the first time I saw somebody who so obviously did not belong there, but still just went ahead with his discount shopping.

Ah, New York, my crazy beloved city! Even after almost twenty five years you still delight and amuse me in the most unexpected places!

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 10

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's warm and sunny outside - but feline companions are still snoring away in their usual designated spots. The crazy upstairs is very much awake and performs with a vengeance. J. Lo.'s boyfriend "out-divas" her - that means that they are perfect for each other. Vogue is not happy with Kim K.'s dress - how about not being happy with your Hussein-supporting editor? Not that l loved Kim's dress, mind you. Jennifer Aniston wanted Giselle's hair and ended up with a bad haircut - yea, as the old Jewish saying goes, we should all have those problems. Zoe Saldana's character from Colombiana inspired a lot of baby name - oh, yikes! Prince Harry is visiting us again - my first thought was "where would he end up naked now?" He surpassed that by making a surprise visit to parteigenosse Michelle's mother's day tea - yuk and barf! But most of his visit would be spent "honoring the wounded and the dead of war", so he redeemed himself with that one. Anne Hathaway went platinum blond - which did not improve her looks at all. Martha Stewart met her first 2 Match.com dates on the Today show - speaking of awkward first dates. "Coke addresses health critics" - dear morons, it's coke, nut carrot juice, for pete's sake! Drink it and enjoy - just remember that it does not have the same benefits as the above-mentioned juice! Bieber posted a picture of him and friend drinking beer - how bloody original. No news on the Kate front. Coffee this morning in my blue wine glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 9

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It is still rainy and cloudy, and the feline companions are not happy - they continue to sleep the day away in their self-assigned spots: on my bed and in the cat house. Rob Kardashian is trending at # 3 as he pleaded not guilty to theft and battery charges; in related news - his sister's bikini is still preying on everyone's mind. Nick Lachey was complaining about his former father-in-law - keep it classy, dude. A dude who plays in The Game of Thrones is cast as the prince charming in the upcoming new version of Cinderella - somehow I don't see the show's fans running to watch the movie, but stranger things happened. Ferrari vows that it will never stray from tradition in order to build an electric car - go, Ferrari! In the upcoming portrayal of the Superman, kryptonite is not his biggest weakness, but rather "his own confusion and sense of isolation" - welcome to the age of Aquarius, hell take it! Miley Cyrus claimed that she had a terrifying experience back in 2011 while on tour in London (she thought she saw a ghost) - Miley, seeing you is usually terrifying enough, ghosts or no ghosts. An 83 year old nun in Tennessee was found guilty of interfering with national security. The old dear broke into the nuclear weapons facility and defaced a uranium processing plant, of which deeds she was proud and unrepentant, as she was protesting against the instruments of death - I guess demanding accountability of her own church leaders was too tame and boring. Bieber will appear in the Simpsons - at least he is not going to moan about Selena. And, finally, something called the Mommy Files, was bitching about the fact that Kate bought a Bugaboo for probably $1,800 - big deal! That's for a future prince or princess, for pete's sake! Now, dissecting the welfare recipients of South Brooklyn who schlepp their darlings around in Bugaboos - that's way more news worthy. Coffee this morning in my funky glass Cappuccino mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 8

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! It's raining today. George came to snuggle in last night, and Sniff - this morning. Now they are both slumbering in my room: Georgie on my bed, and Sniffles in the cat house. Ina was making scones - yay! Yesterday, or rather very early this morning, I finally finished a bottle of chardonnay that was purchased before the Purim of 2012 - am an embarrassment to my Russian heritage and proud of it! Also, still did not consume my Godiva freebies. Today is Yom Yerushalaim - anti-Semites of all stripes (including our own) are invited to gnash their teeth and be reminded once again that undivided Jerusalem belongs to us. And now, to important news. Universal Orlando is expanding their Harry Potter world - another example of HP working its wizardry in the muggle world. Guess what is trending at #1 right now? Kardashian bikini! It looks like Kim "bared her baby bump" in a "tiny bikini" - earth shattering news this is, for sure. Leonard Nimoy is trending at #5 because he and his "Spock successor" were featured in an Audi commercial - that one was really funny. Megyn Kelly is trending at #8 because Fox just renewed her contract - let the mud-slinging from the benevolent left begin. Americans don't get enough magnesium in their diet; good news - nuts and dark chocolate are full of it! Dennis Rodman tweeted a diplomatic plea to the leader of North Korea starting with "do me a solid" - paging psychiatric hotline. Urban Outfitters is under fire again - this time for selling shot glasses that look like prescription drug bottles. Critics claim it "glamorizes" the drug abuse - oh, come on, people! As long as it doesn't glamorize gun ownership, I think everyone should be happy. And a dude in Australia requested a custom level of Angry Birds in order to propose with it - interesting, that. Definitely beats "will you wash my tzizis" proposal. Selena Gomez "penned" a new song titled "Love Will Remember" about her romance with Biebs - aw....Who needs to read Romeo and Juliette, or The Sanatorium, or Pride and Prejudice, when we have such gorgeous and profound love ballads. And, finally, Kate is credited, once again, with bringing tiny purses and clutches into the spotlight - I guess our tasted divulge here. Coffee this morning in my smiley faces mug.

MORNING UPDATE - MAY 7

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! It's cloudy outside, but the sun is scheduled to come out. Sniffles slept in the cat house, which he did not do for a while. George, on the other hand, figured out a way to the top of the bookcase, from whence he kept declaring his dissatisfaction with the world. J. Lo is trending at # 7 because over the weekend her recording session in Florida was interrupted by gunshots - big deal! Isn't she from the Bronx? Should be used to it by now. Cameron Diaz made a splash with a "scary-looking" spiky belt - be happy the spikes did not resemble bullets; that would really get everyone in a twist. Keira Knightly's wedding dress was "recycled" - something she wore to a party back in 2008. Oh, for pete's sake! Aren't we all supposed to be all gaga and mushy about recycling? What gives?! A hockey fan asked his pizza to be delivered instead of the original pick up because his team tied playoff game, so he could not leave the house - oh, boy! Republican Senator Saxby Chambliss beat our dear Comrade Hussein at golf - yes!!! "Children exposed to guns at NRA convention" - oh, horror of horrors! Children exposed to homosexual perversion - rounded education, but to see a gun - call the social services! Miley Cyrus showed up in a "daring mesh dress" - I think it's time for her to hire a new stylist. Kim Kardashian showed at the same gala in a flowery dress with matching bag and shoes - poor pictures at the Met, to be subjected to all this. And Kate hired a "perfect housekeeper" in preparations for the baby - I wonder what constitutes perfect in this scenario. Coffee this morning would probably be in a disposable cup from a local DD.