MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 5

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! It's warming up a bit - another decent November day. 
Sniff is trying to improve my housekeeping skills by continually getting into the waste basket under my desk and playing with wadded up papers he finds there - thereby making sure I empty the dratted thing more often.
Baby Bro also pointed out that George is a veteran of countless battles, and as such deserves extra consideration.
Yesterday I realized that DWTS is on it's 17th season - oy, gevalt! But then another recent discovery - that of the Grey's Anatomy being on it's 10th season! - sort of put a different spin on it. Combined with continues popularity of Honey Boo Boo, it also sort of explains some of the election results.
Currently trending at #1 is Renee Zellweger - because she got "a new man, a new career", and, most importantly, "a startling new look"! Definitely front page news, ladies and germs!
Trending at #2 is Selena Gomez - as she "covers the Teen Vogue" and also confessed that she "prefers true love over one-night stands". Selena, what can I say - you are a shining role model to our young women everywhere! 
Trending at #6 is Jon Gosselin - because he claims that reality TV gave his kids "developmental problems". Well, duh!
Trending at #8 is Samsung Galaxy S4 - because, according to the Daily Mail, it "beats" iPhone 5S "for battery power". Dinosaur confession - I just want a new phone that still has a real keyboard!! 
"'Thor' star sizzles in revealing dress" - I assume just sizzling with talent is not enough. Where the heck is Gloria Steinem?
"'Real Housewife's' star practices witchcraft" - big deal. If she was working on improving her brain or, gasp, supporting right wing women in politics - that would be news. Wicca - pffft!
"Why we still care about the Kennedys" - because we have too many loudmouthed morons among us.
"Katy Perry dethrones Justin Bieber on Twitter" - to me it's a complete toss up, as I can't stomach either of them, albeit for different reasons.
Jay Leno also claimed last night that Bieber wasn't just "spotter" leaving the brothel, but that he tried to escape through the back door using a sheet for cover - here is a picture for you, boys and girls.
And, finally, according to Entertainmentwise, Kate is "planning 'post-baby makeover'" - seriously?!! Another piece of earth-shattering news.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 4

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is on a chilly side, but sunny - not bad for November in our fair city.
Happy Rosh Chodesh Kislev! Ladies, please remember the usual drill.
The advent of the cold weather brought in slightly different behavior in Sniff - he re-discovered his favorite pipes in the bathroom and the kitchen, and is also taking to hiding in the coat closet. George got a new Amazon box, which he promptly appropriated, but did not move his trophy mouse there as of yet.
Tea kettle is still in transit.
The crazy upstairs got some competition from the outside.
Some strange people decided that they are qualified to write children's books; among them are such luminaries as Jewel and Mark Kelly.
Natalie Portman claimed that the reason she "landed" the role in Thor is because she is short, which makes her co-star look very tall next to her - a nice summary of her work in this movie.
Kate Hudson made the fashion news with her "daring" sparkling gown - which, in my humble opinion, simply resembles a mermaid costume.
Our fair city is soon to add "the world's skinniest skyscraper" to its skyline - as long as it is going to be the tallest in the world, I am all for it.
"Khloe frets about Lamar" as he can't be reached while she in on a camping trip, and that's not the first time it happened. Didn't she kick him out already? This melodrama is getting way too long and confusing.
"Russia's frill-seeking tycoon" is planing a trip to the space with his buddy Leo DiCaprio - a match made in heaven. I mean, who cares about Russian homeless kids, which number in millions and top the numbers recorded after the Glorious Revolution, when you can travel to the stars with your envirowaco actor friend? I assume the carbon footprint left by this particular junket is going to be as minute as my round trip to work on the subway.
In the Bieber news: he was "spotted" in a brothel in Brazil and also "stormed off the stage" after being hit in the head by a water bottle - I sincerely hope that that whack on the head finally re-arranged his brains. As for the other, I hope they did not have any buckets in plain view.
And, finally, Us Magazine dedicated an article to describing how Kate redecorated Kengsington palace - a manual on how we might beautify our living space?
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug (the older version).

MORNING UPDATE - NOVEMBER 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! Happy Erev Shabat! It's a first day of November - so it's cloudy and rainy, but still pretty warm.
Kitties are sleeping on their self-designated beds - George on mine and Sniff on Baby Bro's. This morning they probably heard my alarm as they both showed up the minute I got up.
Still waiting for the tea kettle to arrive.
Ina is showing how to set up cocktail table - and she is offering to make only 3 snacks to go with the cocktails! And this is how you recognize an off-the-derech-Jew! 3 snacks! Oy vey!
Men's Health had a whole article dedicated to scientific explanations of why men are so fascinated with breasts - and concluded with anatomic explanation of why Kate Upton's breasts "jiggle". I am sure the subject is paramount to, well, men's health.
Currently trending at #2 is Demi Moore - because her divorce from Ashton may be "finalized soon". Took them long enough, that's for sure.
Trending at #3 is Obama's approval - which "hits all time low". No joke, Sherlock!
Trending at #7: Honey Boo Boo - because her family dressed up as "Kardashian/Jenner clan" for Halloween. Man, I really don't know which picture is more terrifying: the real Kardashian/Jenner family, the real Honey Boo Boo family, or either of them dressed like the other.
Guy Fieri is also trending somewhere in the top ten - because he got into a "nasty fight" with a hairstylist. Well, I wonder why - not enough hair gel?
"How bad are things between Kate and Jon?" - who gives a flying banana?
"Faster, cheaper ways to clean the bathroom" - if you want fast, you hire a cleaning help - but it won't be cheap; if you want cheaper, you do it yourself - and it won't be faster.
"Texas man arrested for overdue library book" - wow! And I thought our libraries sucked.
"How unhappy couples text" - we do live in some strange times.
"Bieber debuts graffiti art" - the dude is definitely multi-talented, what can I say.
Coffee this morning in a Styrofoam cup from the bagel shop next to the laundry that only had ESPN on today.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 31

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's getting cloudy outside, and there is a strong chance of rain - not a park weather, but still flippie-appropriate.
Spent a nice morning with cats calling them, in turn, moron and jackass. For now they are snoozing - George on my bed, and Sniff - on Baby Bro's.
The poor tortoise that got roped into delivering books for the library is apparently hiding somewhere.
Today is October 31, ergo the last day of the month, ergo another month of my forgetting to claim my Godiva freebies - hell, damn, fart!
I am also currently missing a key to the front door.
According to the survey in Men's Health, 9% of women "dig" guys who buy organic food - I wonder if they are the same women who thought that Bill Clinton was sexy.
Also in the same article - Seattle is America's "most organic" city. Yet another point in a long list of why I really don't want to live in Seattle.
Currently trending at #6 is Kerry Washington - because she is also pregnant! The reports of maternity fashion, weight gain/loss, diets, etc, etc, etc, to follow shortly.
Trending at #7 - a moron of female persuasion from North Dakota is planning to give the kids she considers "obese" a "stern-worded" letter addressed to their parents together with candy. Can we just add her to parteigenosse Michelle's staff and safe the good folk of North Dakota?
Kanye claims that Kim will take his surname after they are married - all I can think of then I see the latest reports of Kim and Kanye is an old phrase by Zhvanetzky that loosely translates as "lovers from the world of pigeons".
Some dude decided to offer a different explanation on Miley's and Robin's infamous performance - my only questions is "you got nothing better to do with your time?"
"Vanity Fair scores an interview with Liberty Ross, whose to-be-ex-husband had an affair with Kristen Stewart" - honestly, who wants to air their dirty laundry in the press, especially in something like Vanity Fair?
"Snowden lands job in Russia" - what a bloody surprise!
Someone called "water sommelier" is offering his very expert opinion on what water is best for different occasions - I wonder who has money enough to burn plus a leaking hole in the head to listen to this one and actually follow the "advice".
"5 reasons to ditch fresh produce for frozen" - how about I buy and eat anything I can damn well afford?!!!
"Fears of global wine shortage grow" - SOS!!!!
Camaro is reported as the "most stolen sports vehicle" - take that, import snobs!! Go USA!
"Justin Bieber and Miranda Kerr - their flirty, "dirty texts" revealed!" - where is the spittoon when you need one?
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 30

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The air is supposed to warm up a bit - nice October day!
The former gods of the ancient Egyptians are very sleepy this morning: George jumped on my bed as soon as I left and stayed there; Sniff is hugging Baby Bro. 
Our building got relatively new tenants whose little offspring is not happy about the daycare choice; in my more mischievous moments I feel like popping out and imparting some wisdom on the kid, i.e telling him what I used to do to avoid going to kindergarten.
People of New York are beyond strange and crazy.
The tea kettle is still in transit.
Currently trending at #1 is Alyssa Milano - it looks like her dissatisfaction with the Charmed remake is making waves.
More pictures of celebrities who dress up as Miley Cyrus - thanks, but my mind sorta needs a break.
Kate Upton added another magazine cover to her portfolio - this time she starred on the cover of the Golf Digest; men's obsession with that ridiculous game will probably triple now.
"Why "Thor" went shirtless" - don't know, don't care.
"Obama falls in the latest "Most Powerful" list" - duh! Should we be surprised?!!!
"Skorts are cool again" - man, how boring is my life! I never bothered to learn which fashion items were cool, or a no-no, or cool again - shudders!!
"Is sugar more addictive than drugs" - well, stupidity is definitely not curable.
Yahoo has a cute slide show on the 5 most memorable product launch failures - and Obamacare is at #5. Unfortunately, unlike the case of failures of Neflix, Coke, Ford, or Apple, we are the ones who are paying for this particular disaster.
Bieber, meanwhile, is building a school in Guatemala (shirtless, of course), and even gave one kids his shoes - awww. The Guatemalan government is totally welcome to his services - and this way the street performers in Moscow can concentrate on something more productive, like their own orphans.
Coffee this morning in my Harry Potter mug - need magic to deal with the morons of the world.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 29

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! It's chilly today, but still sunny - and if I could, I would wear my flippies today.
George is getting slightly less whiny; this morning he ate his chicken almost without any complains, and is now resting in an undisclosed location. Sniff is also beginning to like George's food and partaking of it more and more. He also likes to try and bury all the food after he is done eating - and as it's all on the kitchen floor, the picture is beyond hilarious.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual schtick.
Baby Bro would like to report the local libraries to ASPCA and PETA for the cruelty to tortoises.
Liberals are hypocrites in everything they do.
Currently trending at #1 is Guy Fieri - because he had to testify about his Lamborghini that was stolen back in 2011. Off with their heads! How dare they steal a man's baby - his beloved ride?!!
Trending at #6 is Eminem - because he is debuting his duet with Rihanna. Their timing is flawless - just in time for Halloween.
Lisa Kudrow is also in the news - partly because she claimed that she was "hideous" before her nose job. Way to promote self-esteem in young women, Lisa!
"Jonas Brothers announce their breakup" - sniff, sniff! They claim that they are parting ways due to "creative differences" - is there any other official excuse for a band to break up?
Alyssa Milano and Rose McGowan are against the reboot of Charmed, claiming that it's a "lame" idea - I hate to disappoint you lades, but the show got extremely lame after the 3rd season anyway.
"Opulent new Range Rover" - somehow opulent and Range Rover do not fit in the same sentence.
"5 fat-fighting chairs" - what happened to actually getting out of the chair and simply exercising?!!
"Austin Mahone vs. Justin Bieber: Who Has Hotter Abs?" - interesting things people are concerned with, what can I say.
And, finally, Georgie gave a huge smile to his mummy in the official christening photo - awww!
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 28

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a great week! The weather is pretty decent for NY October - and sun is definitely enjoyable.
George is sleeping in his huge Amazon box together with his trophy mouse. Sniff did his usual running, yelling, and tail-puffing this morning, and is now sleeping on Baby Bro's bed.
The mystery of what happened with our emergency kettle still remains, well, a mystery.
Never knew that maple syrup adds "smoky sweetness" - who comes up with those descriptions?
Currently trending at #1 is Hugh Hefner - because he and his current wife dressed up for their annual Halloween party as Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke. I really don't know which one of these four is the most barf-inspiring, but way to climb to #1!
Currently trending at #6 is Olivia Wilde - because she is also expecting a baby!
Trending at #7 is Sylvester Stallone - because "he unveiled his paintings in Russia". I sort of don't know which is more disturbing: Stallone as an artist, or any mention of step-mama country, or the fact that the old moron actually went there.
Kim K. was contemplating just naming her daughter North and not giving her a last name - some people really should attain some kind of licencing before they are allowed to become parents.
"Way to burn 100 calories in 10 minutes" - how about taking care of 3 preschoolers? Guaranteed weight loss with no fuss.
"Singles describe their worst dates ever" - for reasons unknown I was not invited to the forum.
"Proof that women multitask better than men" - you still need proof for that?!!!! What planet are you from?
New rumors are floating that the reason Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr split up was because she had "Bieber fever" - yea, I can totally see this as a deal breaker.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 24

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! It's chilly, but sunny - pretty decent for October.
The cats did their usual annoying schticks in the morning and are now sleeping - George on my bed, and Sniff is snuggling with Baby Bro.
Apparently, it's against the law to swear on the streets of our fair city - insert maniacal laughter here.
Currently trending at #2 is Tom Cruise - because it was claimed that he had "Scientology girlfriend auditions". Yea, this is what happens when an average dude with a very average talent is repeatedly told that he is very handsome and a great actor.
Kate Upton got on the list of the badly dressed of the week - I sort of agree with the decision of the experts here, but then I think most of the modern fashion is ugly.
Morgan Freeman is trending at #6 because he "blasted" tea party, called them crazy, and told that they can "move out" - thanks, dude! How about morons and racists like you move out, so the people who truly love this country can finally have some peace of mind?
When Jimmy Kimmel asked P Diddy about whose side he was on in Kanye/Kimmel dispute, Diddy said that as both he and Kanye are "musical artists"... - I think his opinion about him and his friend is a trifle high; what artists? And music?!! The noise they are making is an insult to music.
If you can't afford a vacation for yourself, you can at least send your stuffed animal instead - thanks, but no thanks. My stuffed animals are staying in the closet.
The subject of Kim K.'s engagement ring is still fresh on everyone's mind - most probably because she got a very not tastefully large diamond almost at the same time as her ex auctioned off her old one. I mean, speaking of bad timing!
The woman who stripped for Bieber in Houston "is finally speaking out" - yuk and barf. Come on, violin players from step-mama city! Where are the money for his assassination already?!!
Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Bean Bag Plush mug with the 7 Dwarfs.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 23

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is getting into October mode, but still pleasant enough.
Kitties are on the sleepy side again, although in the morning there was another flurry of activity. Sniffles was in a fighting mood, and George was loudly complaining under the door while I was in the shower. Now he is snoozing on my bed, and Sniff is in the big closet.
Yesterday I was complimented on my "terrific Russian" - phooey!
Kanye proposed with a 15-karat ring worth 2.5 million greenbacks - I think we can safely assume that this particular diamond is way beyond "tastefully large".
A new study points out that the oldest kids perform better in school not because they are smarter, but because "their parents are tougher on them" - duh! I would have told it to you for free.
"Taylor Swift goes brunette for movie roll" - it's just a wig, but she still looks strange in it.
"How Miley Saved Career" - prostituting herself to save her career? Where are the blankety blank blank self-proclaimed defenders of women's rights when you need them?
"Why (Melissa) McCarthy were on oversize coat on mag cover" - I really don't give a flying banana.
An art thief is planning to sue a Dutch museum for "making a heist too easy" - OK, now I have heard everything.
The Capitol Building needs repairs to the tune of 59.6 million UDSs! I totally support preserving the national monuments, but can we please deduct this from the salaries of the stuffed up popinjays that occupy it?
No glaring news about Bieber - cause for concern?
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 22

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather still rocks! The feline companions are a bit on the sleepy side this morning - George is on my bed again, and Sniff is on Baby Bro's chair. 
Sign of growing up in a hungry country - a visit to the supermarket is always an enjoyable pastime! Plus, kitties decided to help in the unpacking by sniffing everything, chewing on the bags, jumping in the pantry, etc.
Continuing to read the fascinating study in the Men's Health. Apparently, Greek men get it the most because "they don't hesitate to pursue committed women for flings" - fine morals these people have, what can I say.
Not trending at #1, but at measly #3 - Kim and Kanye are engaged!!! Aw, Mazal Tov! Also found out that they are called Kimye - how cute!!!
Another list of foods (this time only 5) on which I am supposed to "splurge" because they taste better organic; this list alone makes it interesting: chicken, olive oil, butter, olives, and eggs - oh, what I wouldn't give in order to make these gurus live the way I did as a kid for about one year! Everything would taste like manna to them after it, especially the items on their idiotic list!!
Kate Upton "revealed" that when she was growing up, she wanted to be either a zookeeper or a CIA agent - interesting; I can totally see her as sort of Mata Hari; after all, plenty of men go stupid about her.
An alligator who was "just chilling" decided to visit Wallmart - even the animals feel the economic pinch! The poor gator was also forced to check cheep items!
"Potential hair loss remedy" - accept it, shave your head, and move on, for pete's sake!
Ted Danson is currently trending at #8 because "He will always be Sam Malone, even to himself" - well, duh!!
There are also NFL news galore, due to, I guess, football season - but, being a complete ignoramus in this, I am skipping all the gossip and honorable mentions.
According to USA TODAY, "Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, One Direction, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Miley Cyrus and One Direction will tussle for top honors at the first-ever YouTube Music Awards show" - to quote one of my all time fave movies, their tunes "have no musical merit whatsoever", so, what's with all this brouhaha?
And, finally, it looks like Harry's romance with his current girlfriend is getting serious as she was invited to Georgie's christening - just think what another royal engagement will provide in terms of circuses to the masses!
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 21

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather rocks once again - yay!
Our house Democrat, otherwise known as Sniff, destroyed another household item - this time he chewed off the cord of our toaster oven; fortunately, the toaster was old, plus, we got another one. After his usual session of eating, running, eating some more, running some more, he is now resting from his hard labors in Baby Bro's room. George, after his also usual morning routine of whining, eating, and whining some more, is now sleeping on my bed.
Emergency tea kettle is out of commission, which necessitates the emergency purchase of a new one.
According to the survey in Men's Health, American women want to be complimented on their eyes and smiles, the Latin American women want to be complimented on their behinds, and Russian women want to be complimented on their outfits - interesting cultural differences.
Currently trending at #1 - once again, drum roll please - no, not Kim; this time it's her sister Kourtney! She announced "a new fashion endeavor"! Here is an oxymoron for you - Kardashians and fashion.
Trending at #7 is Ted Danson - because, among other things, he was talking about his "close friendship" with Bill and Hilary Clinton. Dude, for shame!
"Arsenio Hall recalls falling-out with Oprah" - racist fight!
"Diet tips from around the Globe" - you want me to sum it up? Eat a variety and enjoy! It's food! Your body needs it!
Chevy Camaro "returns with gusto" - considering the current state of GM, never mind the present EPA standards, I somehow question the "gusto".
"What to do with your Social Security raise" - survive?!!!
One of Bieber's fans reportedly spent 100 grand in order to look like his idol - paging people in white coats with straight jackets!
Kate Upton and Maksim Chmerkovskiy "finally" confirmed "their romantic pairing" - I don't know if more male or female hearts would be broken; my money is on the males.
And, finally, Kate's fave maternity designer shared "pregnancy fashion tips" - the tips did not include the suggestions on how to deal with the moronic sales personnel you so often encounter those days due to affirmative actions hiring guidelines.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends cup.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 18

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! The weather rocks once again - yippee!! George started the food complains bright and early and still did not stop. Sniff was running around like a demented gazelle once again - and once again Baby Bro said that we should enter him into feline sprinting and enjoy the results.
The TV was switched to ESPN and blessedly silent - thank You, Gd!!
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff but, again blessedly, without the additional help.
Currently trending at #1 is - drum roll once again - Kim Kardashian! And guess why? Oh, hell yes - because now we know for sure what her ex got for her old ring. Want to know? It's 749,000 USDs! Now we can sleep easier knowing the precise number.
Trending at #2 is Gwen Stefani - because her "baby bump made its red carpet debut"! AW!!! I wonder if her and Kim are buds and exchange notes on maternity fashion.
Olsen twins are trending at #3 - because they claim that everything they learned about fashion they learned on the Full House. With all due respect to the Full House, but, fashion?!!!
There is also a whole discussion about Nicki Minaj and what she did to her Lamborghini - in case you were wondering, she painted it pink. With all due respect to the Lamborghini enthusiasts - at least she spent her own money on it, unlike our dear Michelle and Hussein, who spent our money in order to deface our house that's on rent to them...so, yea, Nicki can paint that thing puce and stick Tinker Bells on top of it for all I care - as long as she keeps her nose out of politics
"16 year-old soup found in EPA office fridge" - the bastards were so busy destroying our economy and telling us how to flush out toilets that they forgot to clean their own stinking fridge!
"Katy Perry's latest look" - spare me, please!
"Lara Flynn Boyle: Too Plastic for Hollywood?" -what is this, inside joke? They all look too plastic, for pete's sake!
No news on Bieber - is he breathing? Did the Moscow violin players finally collect enough money?!!!
Coffee this morning in a styrofoam cup from a bagel place next to the blessedly quite laundromat.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 17

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is still warm, despite occasional cloudiness - yay once again!
According to Baby Bro, George is a pragmatic pacifist; Sniff, on the other hand, defies classification. Both of them made sure to sufficiently irritate us this find morning, and then proceeded to fall asleep - George in his huge Amazon box, and Sniff on top of Baby Bro's knapsack. 
NYPL's website finally took down a picture of two guys kissing and replaced it with something much less disgusting - thank The Good Lord!
Yesterday I decided to have a glass of wine that was left over from the Holidays - for no reason other than I felt I like it; sometimes I scare myself.
NY is truly the city that never sleeps - you can't get a seat on the subway after 11 pm, of which fact I was recently reminded.
Someone from "Palestinian Territories" somehow ended up on my blog - not once, but twice!
Someone named Soleil Moon Frye is currently trending at #1 - and not because of her bizarre name. It looks like she joins a long list of preggo celebrities (although who the heck she is and what she is famous for I have not the foggiest idea).
The almost intact "humanlike" scull was recently discovered and provided another "evolutionary glimpse"; the scull also resembles that of liberals and politicians in general.
"Easy routines that can help you stress less": there is only one routine for reducing stress - it's called being a guy.
In the news of fashion: celebrities like tartan, and one couple even used it as their wedding garb - once again, as long as they stay dressed and don't involve themselves in politics, I really don't care what trends float their boats.
"How IKEA's meatballs became a monster hit" - I sort of don't really want to delve into this one.
A company in Texas is offering to retrofit your car against road rage - I wonder at the percentages of the said road rage that necessitated this offer.
Selena Gomez cried on stage - "allegedly" during the song about Bieber. Who cares about Romeo and Juliette - we should have a tragedy called Selena and Justin, or, better yet, Jelena.
And, finally, E! online reveals the secrets of Kate's bargain shopping - interesting times we do live in, what can I tell.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 16

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! Today is a bit cloudy, but still warm - yay! George eats dietary dry food - as long as it's fresh by his exacting standards. Sniff continues to amuse us by occasionally eating with his paw. He also decided that Baby Bro's room is still better than mine and spends a lot of his sleeping time there.
The minds of Hussein's supporters are interesting and terrifying places to visit.
Observing some parents is scary as well, just in a different way.
Yesterday was, apparently, National Grouch Day - man, and I missed all the festivities!
Currently trending at #7 is Jon Cryer - because he and Ashton Kutcher are currently the highest paid actors on TV. Well, figures - working on a raunchy, misogynistic, and just plain disgusting sitcom pays! The usual suspects, otherwise known as self-proclaimed protectors of women's rights, are, of course, silent. However, Linda Carter had to defend her portrayal of the Superwoman because that WAS offensive to feminists.
Ivanka Trump did not keep her fans in suspense and shared her baby's pictures right away - thanks, Ivanka! Considering how many other concerns people have in their daily lives, at least this one was alleviated immediately; of course, now the interested parties will engage in the discussions as to whom the kid resembles most, so, never mind.
Kim K.'s ex-husband auctioned off the engagement ring - sniff; he also got much less for the dratted piece of jewelry than is was worth - double sniff.
Hillary Clinton was "slapped" with a parking ticket in London - pffffft! Also, considering her track record, I don't think she will end up paying it.
The next target in the war on drugs will be Oreo cookies - because they are as addictive as cocaine. I think we officially lost the right to make fun of superstitious inhabitants of the Middle Ages - I mean, we are "waging a war" on cookies, for pete's sake!
And, finally, it looks like Will and Kate were a bit naughty in their second year of college when they were sharing an apartment - because the landlady had to break the "no boys" rule.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Bean Bag mug with the 7 Dwarfs.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 15

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather still rocks - hurray for fall! George and Sniff both take turns trying to run into the hall - but any and all noises over there make them run back immediately. 
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff - and today she is joined by a whole slew of other people, drilling, and banging.
According to Men's Health, the color of jeans can tell a lot about a guy's character, as well as his shoes - need to put this in use on the next people-watching expedition to the Park.
Currently trending at #1 - drum roll please - is none other than Kim Kardashian! She "revealed her secrets" to post-baby weigh loss!!! Profound and life-altering topic it is, indeed!
Mazal Tov to Ivanka Trump! It's a boy! Congrats to Donald on his 5th grandkid! Hopefully, that will promote him to work on a better hairdo. Also wondering if Ivanka got her own weight loss secrets up her sleeve, of if she would follow Kim's advice.
Sandra Oh is leaving Grey's Anatomy - sniff, sniff! Just the other day I accidentally discovered that that soap is still on - which made me wonder, once again, at the general mental abilities of the TV viewers.
Some kind of young British singer "recycled" Beyonce's dress - who said Beyonce had a copyright on wearing the said dress?
"30 of the Smartest Celebrities in Hollywood" - here is an oxymoron of the week for you, ladies and gents!
The latest victim of the government shutdown - the White House kitchen garden! It is being attacked by squirrels because the funding is shut for the human tenders. Aw, poor parteigenosse Michelle - my heart bleeds borsch for her and her beloved garden!
"7 ways to meet more dates" - I am trying to avoid them, thank you very much!
And, finally, "Justin Bieber Spouts a Manly Mustache" - it will take sooooo much more for him to appear manly, I can't begin to enumerate it.
Coffee this morning in my Coffee Bean/Tea Leaf mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 14

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a great week! The weather is rocking once again. George is still driving us a bit crazy about his food and still loves his huge Amazon box where he curls up to sleep after he is done complaining about the said food. Sniff did his battle cry, huge tail, crazy running routine again this morning, and is now sleeping on Baby Bro's bed.
Happy Columbus Day, peeps! Of course, it's a holiday that's only celebrated by government employees and the retailers, and gives an extra excuse to America-haters to bloviate; but to me the whole story is another example of Gd'w mysterious ways.
The latest issue of Glamour said good buy to the current Jake - oh, thank Heavens! The guy was sooo boring. We can only hope that his replacement will elevate the column once again.
Another barbarian clan is moving into our building - well, as long as they don't cook stinky fish...
Just saw a commercial for Starbucks and their Pike Place roast - for the first time, mind you, did I see an actual TV commercial of theirs; fascinating.
Currently trending at #1 is Kylie Jenner - because she was running away from the paparazzi, and Bruce flipped them off; why is either of this news, never mind the #1 news?
Trending at #6 is Jamie Foxx - because he is "in talks to play Martin Luther King Jr." I guess being an open racist always pays on his "side of the skin".
Macaulay Culkin "re-emerged" at the local Comic Con - apparently those things are good not just for the geeks and nerds.
People who chew popcorn at the movies are usually immune to the commercials at the beginning of the show - again, whose brilliant idea was it to run this study and, moreover, who supplied grants for it?!!
"Details of Assange's Life at Ecuadorian Embassy" - who is interested in this and why?
Colorado's Governor Hickenlooper claimed that after seeing how dysfunctional DC is, he is reconsidering his run in 2016 - aw, shucks, dude! How noble of you!
Justin Bieber made the news again, this time in South Korea - he "stormed" the DJ's booth and "demanded" hip hop; I guess the violin players in Moscow did not collect the requisite money yet.
And, finally, Will and Kate are about to reveal Georgie's godparents - well, since, unlike Teddy Lupin, he won't have Harry Potter as his godfather, the news are sort of anti-climatic.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Plush Mickey and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 10

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is still a bit iffy, but not bad for NY October. George continues to drive us crazy with his insane feeding demands - but we still love the old coot. Sniff is back to his waiting by the bathroom door routine - and this time he sits right in the corner and waits for us. He was also reprimanded this morning for walking all over Baby Bro's laptop and leaving fur all over it. The said reprimand was met with his usual feline stare.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff.
Someone else is moving into our building - more screaming and cursing by the front door in 5, 4, 3...
The biggest entertainment at the Farm Market is observing various hippies (especially guys) buying greens - almost like a field trip to Bellevue.
Currently trending at #5 is Erin Brokovich - because she is started some kind of "grass root" campaign against some kind of birth control. Envisioning "Erin Brockovich II" with Julia Roberts playing the lead again and getting another Oscar for it.
Trending at #6 is Sheryl Crow - because, according to some kind of new book, she told about Lance's "blood procedures". Well, I guess she had to take off precious time out of her environmental crusades in order to do that; what a selfless dedication to the causes!
"Why some women aren't happy with Macy's" - are you ready for this? Because the prices on women's clothes are high! Wow! What a profound piece of journalism right here!
"Kanye ends feud with Jimmy Kimmel" - yo, Norway! 2 Peace Nobels right here!!!
One of the "Hunger Games" actor claimed that he is "mostly straight" - forgive me for the cliche, but who gives a rat's ass?
"Exercises for sleek, sexy legs" - how about exercises for healthy legs and the rest of your body?
"Miley Cyrus's next opportunity to shock" - I shudder to even imagine it; on the side note, her parents are bastards - that's my opinion, and I am sticking to it.
"Justin Bieber is Ripped! Trainer Reveals Workout Secrets" - how about starting the workout on his minuscule brain and non-existent manners?
And, finally, the perfume that Kate wore on her wedding day is now available for purchase - of course, wearing it does not guarantee you will attract a prince.
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh mug that Natalie gave me.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 9

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is cloudy once again, but still not bad. George is currently on Baby Bro's naughty list, as he woke him up an hour earlier. Sniff was in a frisky mood again this morning; first he was emitting battle cries, after which he was running around like a crazy pony. Now both of them are sleeping: George on my bed and Sniff in the papasan on top of the guest pillow.
Toilet paper seems to be a hot commodity with the local barbarians, as a roll of it was recently stolen from the bathroom of the local laundromat.
Our dear Governor's office sent me an email to my "professional" account, telling me that they would just LOVE to help me find an employment - aw, such concern! Simply brought tears to my eyes!
Yahoo's new policy appears to be to flash a message along the lines of "you are my anti-spam hero" every time you empty the spam folder; considering how many e-mail accounts I have and how often I check them, it is beginning to feel a bit weird.
Currently trending at #1 is Betty White - because her wax figure was temporarily moved from Hollywood to DC. Interesting things happening in our nation's capital, what can I say.
Trending at #2 is Kris Jenner - because she and Bruce have officially announced their separation. That seems to be the latest family trend, no pun intended.
Trending at #7 is Beyonce - because you can now preview her "sexy" 2014 calendar; spare me!
There is also a wrong way to do laundry - as long as it looks and smells clean in the end, I really don't care about the right or wrong way of doing it, to be honest.
"Baywatch stars had a weight clause" - duh! Was is not obvious to begin with?!!
"Honey Boo Boo's family decorates for Halloween" - they shouldn't have bothered; they look Halloween-ready year around.
Someone decided to take a look down memory lane and look a the "many hairdos of John Travolta" - here is another Halloween idea for you.
Blair Underwood recently admitted that originally he did not want to take up role in Sex in the City, because he did not like the story line or the show's relations to race - stupid racist moron is as stupid racist moron does.
"Better term than 'plus-size'" - oh, who gives a rat's ass about the terms?!!! It's the stinking attitude that matters, not the terms!
And, finally, Bieber's new single supposedly "alludes" to his "romance" with Selena - aw, that also brought tears to me eyes!
Coffee this morning in my funky green mug from Yves Rocher.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 8

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather improved vastly from yesterday. Sniff was extra frisky again last night, running around and making more noise than a small horse. This morning he came in to snuggle and, surprisingly, did not attempt to eat my blanket. George still does not know what he wants to eat; his latest was eating fresh diet kibble. Now he is sleeping on my bed, and, also surprisingly, also did not molest my blanket.
Baby Bro postulated that the tortoise that lives in Prospect Park Zoo moonlights for Brooklyn Public Library as a book deliverer. Considering how long it takes them to fill in some of the holds, the theory makes perfect sense.
Currently trending at #1 is Matt Lauer - because he interviewed Miley Cyrus, who, in turn, postulated in that interview that people over 40 don't have sex anymore. How did she come to that conclusion, and why is that the focal point of the said interview I don't really know and really don't want to know.
In similar news, Miley's mom "stole her pose" recently - no wonder the kid is so messed up.
Trending at #2 is Ashley Judd because she may have reconciled with her husband - as long as she stays away from politics and self-proclaimed fight for women's rights, I don't care about anything else she does.
Halle Berry announced that her new son's name is Maceo-Robert - another celeb baby with idiotic name. The usual prediction would be "poor kid, he is so getting killed later because of his stupid name"; but, considering, how many famous people give their offspring the most moronic names imaginable, the only kids who are in trouble are the ones with the "usual", "boring" names.
The fountain at the Bellagio in Vegas is supposedly one of the 8 greatest in the world - congrats to me, I have seen it both by day and by night!
Jerry Seinfeld became a latest celebrity in a long line of them to offer his two cents on what his secret to a happy marriage is - well, considering the rate of celebrity divorces, I simply marvel at their audacity to still blab about the topic.
Today's hairdo news come to you courtesy of Jada Pinkett Smith, whose "edgy" new look consists of a head that's half shaved and half covered in braids - classically elegant, what can I say.
Avril Lavinge got "all gussied up" for a night out with her hubby - considering her usual, hum, attire choices, that is a sure sign of love, ladies and gents!
And, finally, according to Slate Magazine blog, Bieber's "New Song Is Better Than You Were Probably Expecting It To Be" - which basically confirms my firm believe that anything that comes out of Slate is not to be believed.
Coffee this morning in my white glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 6

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing everyone a fantastic week! Ladies, I hope at least yesterday you had a nice Rosh Chodesh without too much work (and the hubbies were at least attentive). The weather is slightly on the blah-y side, but not bad. 
George can't decide what he wants to eat; treats, of course, are always welcome. Sniff, on the other hand, couldn't care less about the treats, but gets curiouser and curiouser about George's new food. He keeps sniffing it, tasting it, and then scratches the floor in attempts to cover it.
On Friday I decided to give the crazy upstairs a run for her money, but that, of course, is impossible.
Currently trending at #1 is Kris Jenner - because she was "gushing" about Kanye and what a "great dad" he is. Not to be obnoxious or anything, but, um, Kris, how would you know what a great parent looks like?
Trending at #7 is Kristen Stewart - because she stripped "down to boring underwear" in order to film a scene in her new movie. According to the detailed reports, it was a black bra and white underwear - very much newsworthy, indeed.
Miley Cyrus went on SNL to mock GOP, especially Michele Bachmann - how extremely refreshing and, most importantly, original!
Somebody named Rebel Wilson (no idea who that is) was put on the worst-dressed of the week list because she was walking around NY in a t-shirt with a huge picture of a cat on it - oh, give me a break! Big deal! There are so many uglier and scarier outfits to talk about.
Justin Bieber is on the short list for the "sexiest shirtless singer" - once again, people, learning some art history would have prevented that.
And, finally, there was a whole article dedicated to the new bed that Kate ordered for their renovated apartment at Kensington palace - come to think of it, I can also write a whole article about my bed, as I know of at least 3 people who used it before I got it, never mind what the cats do to it.
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 4

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Friday! The weather is getting uncomfortably warm for me  Last night Sniff kept looking at me snidely from half closed eyes - an achievement, if you ask me, as he was also half-asleep. And today I got hissed at while we were warring over my mattress - needless to say, his claws won (as they had a very nice grip on the mattress). George, on the other hand, is in kitty heaven right now, because he is surrounded by different size Amazon boxes.
The channel was changed from CNN to Travel Channel - thank you, Hashem!
Happy First Day Rosh Chodesh Heshvan! Ladies, remember - VERY LIGHT housework and gifts from your husbands! (Yea, I know, unicorns will fly).
We survived another day of the government shutdown.
Brooke Shields is currently trending at #7 because she "slammed" her ex during an interview. I really don't know what happened between those two, and don't know much about her ex, but , still, why?!!!
Kim Kardashian was "reunited" with her baby after her mini break in Paris, after which she immediately released a new picture of North "swaddled atop a cozy blanket" - what is this, an attempted at humor?
Texas McDonald's is beginning to institute a new dress code for costumers: "no shoes, no shirt, no service". Ah, if only we can institute something like this on the subway! "Manners of water buffalo - get off!"
Stana Katic showed up in a hot pink dress held up by giant safety pins - come on, lady! Your show is popular; there is no need for extra attention, me thinks.
"Women feel they are least attractive on Mondays" - I wonder who felt the need to compile these statistics.
A substance found in turmeric is supposed to be as good as Prozac - I guess Obamacare has officially kicked in.
Bieber professed love to his fans with a shirtless photo - oh, please! Who wants to see shirtless Bieber?!! Just take a bunch of teenage girls to the Met and show them the Greek and the Roman exhibits - way more interesting than any shirtless celebrity today (male or female).
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 3

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is a bit iffy, but not bad for an early October.
Woke up yesterday with scratches on my foot; both George and Sniff were questioned, but neither admitted to the deed. George is enjoying both his new Amazon boxes: the humongous one and the tiny one. Sniff is racing around the apartment. Earlier he decided to play mashgiach again and supervise the bathroom cleaning; hence he was locked up for his trouble.
According to Men's Health, red apples are the best for your health. Dudes, if I eat an apple at all, it's already an achievement; plus, I don't like red apples, period, so, leave me alone with your statistical data.
In the same august publication was a whole set of instructions on buying a bra for a girlfriend - because that's what we really, really want to get as a gift: underwear!
The country survived another day of the government shutdown with poor parteigenosse Michelle announcing that due to it her Twitter account would not really be updated - aw, cry me a river!
Currently trending at #6 is Chelsea Handler - because she split up with her boyfriend and also because she showed off "bikini body". The public wants to know if these incidents are related, and if yes, what was the cause and what was the effect? You can't just report something like this without further explanations!!
"What Kate Gosselin did with all her money" - does anyone really want to know?
A lot of brides would like to marry on 11/12/13 - I assume because getting married on a specific silly date is a guaranteed foundation for a happy and solid marriage. But, hey, the wedding goods purveyors are happy, at least.
George Clooney "revealed" that he had to wear Spanks for his latest movie - please get that picture out of my head.
Britney Spears "found it tough to play 'sexy' now" - because she is a mother. Congratulations on maturing, Britney!
The world's most expensive car costs only 52 mil - what kind of a whopper of the midlife crisis do you have to hit in order to get this one?!!
And, finally, Bieber announced that he will release a new song each Monday for the 10 consecutive weeks - just when you thought Mondays can't suck more than they do already.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 2

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Wednesday! The weather is rocking once again. George is in his huge Amazon box, from which he was gazing at me this morning with shiny eyes. Sniff will be put on the diet food as soon as the regular runs over, as he looks like he is gaining weight. In anticipation of this, he is running like a crazed antelope all over the place.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff.
Oatmeal sucks! I don't care how nutritious it is or how good it's supposed to be in the morning - it sucks and I never enjoyed it.
Conversations with liberals continue to provide interesting insights into their deranged psyche.
We officially survived the first day of government shutdown - which, of course, is not trending among the top ten right now.
But we could read about North West's future wardrobe, which includes snakeskin shoes - seriously? Definitely not in good taste, unlike the tastefully large diamond.
"Katie Holmes's sassy hot pink dress" - here is a headline for you! Who needs to know anything else?!!
Sweden is the supposedly the best country to grow old in - thanks, but no thanks; I prefer to grow old right here, in the USA, even though it ranked at only #8.
Tom Selleck was talking about his stash, which, apparently, receives a "ridiculous amount of attention" - here is another interesting topic to discuss.
And speaking of furloughed government workers - they have "free and discounted" meals, drinks, and activities available for them in DC. Even in this situation they score better than the private sector! Someone was even talking about pole-dancing classes - spare me!
Helen Fielding finally wrote 3rd Bridget Jones, where she killed Marc Darcy and left Bridget a merry widow - are you kidding me, Helen?!!! Who needs this book then?!!
And, finally, Will and Kate are "reportedly building a sunroom" for their country home - sometimes it does pay to be royal.
Coffee this morning in my San Fran latte mug.

MORNING UPDATE - OCTOBER 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather rocks once again! Happy October 1st, for whatever it's worth. 
Cats got new Amazon box, which is very big, and for which, of course, they did a big battle. So far George is sleeping in in, and Sniff is once again sleeping in the cat house. 
So, the the big government shut down did happen. Mind you, the tax collection was not halted. I sort of feel bad for the people who decided to tour DC this week - all the attractions are closed. Of course, they can always observe the horror show in the White House.
Kelly Ripa spent 515 USDs on a pair of strangely looking shoes - unlike the previously mentioned occupant of the White House and his lady fair, she spent her own money, so, let her enjoy her silly shoes.
Pippa Middleton is not officially engaged, but she is already talking about what kind of wedding she would like to have - I sincerely hope that would not scare her unofficial bridegroom.
"Bieber get carried up Great Wall of China" - glad I did not see it.
Also saw Miley's Rolling Stone cover yesterday - another thing I really did not want to see.
Coffee this morning did not happen as there were mixed signals about who was getting milk.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 30

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather rocks! 
Shana Tova to all of you! I hope the Holidays were awesome, the food and wine great and plentiful, the family and friends fun (for the most part), and, most importantly, I hope we were all inscribed and sealed for a great, blessed, sweet, healthy, happy, and prosperous year!
Happy Belated National Coffee Day - which was spent, oh shame, drinking DD!
Speaking of which - Starbucks definitely arrived in our area, as confirmed by their coffee cups thrown around our subway stop.
Nancy Meyer is beginning to get on my nerves - her advertisements are all over the net! I am not a guy, Nancy!
Another interesting term to be learned: "tastefully large diamond" - are they comparing notes with some of our ladies? What constitutes tasteful and when does it cross into other territory? Are we talking carats, shape, size, what?
Khloe Kardashian called her hubby a moron, which experts interpreted as "first cracks in marriage" - really? What planet are they from?
Her sister Kim, meanwhile, left her baby for the first time - to travel to Paris. Wow! Meanwhile, I remember the anxiety of some new moms when they left their baby for the first time in order to replenish the diaper supply.
"Why autumn is the season to fall in love" - because, according to some posh researchers, winter is coming, and we feel the need to nest. Really?!! They got grant for this study?!!!
Meanwhile, some Saudi Arabian cleric claimed that "women who drive risk bearing children with clinical problems" - it looks like his mother was driving a lot as she managed to produce such a misogynistic moron and blowhard.
And, finally, Kate, Will, and Georgie are moving into Kensington Palace this week - having visited the place personally, I can officially say "nice diggs!"
No coffee yet as someone who should remain nameless finished my milk and did not replenish it yet.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 24

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! Happy Fourth Day of Chol Hamoed Succot! The weather continues to rock! Feline companions continue to be themselves - annoying psychotics. As usual, they are both sleeping in my room now - George on my bed, and Sniff in the papasan, for a change.
Socializing with liberals is always an interesting experience; just when you think you heard it all, they go ahead and surprise you.
Surprise, surprise - the attack in Kenya, or the latest antics of our dear usurper in chief did not make it to top ten.
Currently trending at #1 is Jada Pinkett Smith - because she revealed right here, on FB, that she had "many addiction; geez louise, what an utterly surprising revelation that is!
Trending at #8 is Antonio Banderas - because he is going to play pirate in the new Spongebob movie. Well, he nailed Puss in Boots in Shrek, so, I guess he will totally shine as a Spongebob pirate.
Giada "swears" by SPF, drinking more water than coffee, and raw almonds as a healthy snack; she especially likes the ones you can buy in the airports - interesting combo. What really makes me laugh in this story is the fact that we are the same age; plus, I also love raw almonds - but I just enjoy them as a snack, and not a health food.
Kanye was "gushing" about why he stays with Kim K. - according to him, she gave him "family" and "support system"; plus, "she could love" him "without" "asking for money" - aw!! Who said romance is dead? What a tear-jerker that story is!
"Taller people may be slightly smarter, but they're more likely to get bitten by bugs, research shows" - OK, how in blazes do you run a research and arrive at this particular conclusion?
"Where Miley Cyrus's wild streak began" - don't know, don't care.
"Affordable way to charter a jet" - affordable for whom? And, most importantly, why would you need to charter a jet?
"Justin Bieber Shows Fans Underwear At Singapore Concert" - I guess the Vivaldi playing Moscovites did not collect enough money yet.
And, finally, Will and Kate applied for Georgie's first passport - aw, baby passport pictures!
Coffee this morning in my funky glass Cappuccino mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 23

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Happy Third Day of Chol Hamoed Succot! The weather rocks - at least it does for me 
The cats were very vocal again this morning, and finally quieted down in their respective spots on my bed and in the cat house. George is extra annoying with his slightly unbalanced demands for food, and Sniff is emitting his battle cries a bit too much lately.
Mom's radio is on the fritz, so I loaned her mine - and now our mom is listening to Rush on Hello Kitty boombox. Do I rock or what?
According to the latest intelligence reports, there are young musicians on the streets of Moscow that are playing Vivaldi in order to collect money for Justin Bieber's assassination - Canadian friends, I think it's time to protect your national treasure and hide him somewhere where nobody will see or hear him.
Currently trending at #1 is Chris Brown - because he is officially tired of his "bad boy image". Well, hell, maybe if you behaved like a decent adult, you would not get that image?
Trending at #7 is Michael Douglas - because it looks like he "slammed" US prison system after "Emmy win". Dude, seriously, you need anti-psychotic meds more than your current wife, whom you oh so nobly abandoned!
Kim K. has a new "bestie" - Oprah. Oh, here is a match made in heaven! I mean, I know that Kim does not poses a huge amount of grey matter, but why does she keep hanging with such obvious racists?
"The ideal age for women to get married" - when they find a man who at least remotely resembles Darcy or Captain Wentworth.
"The best over the counter drugs" - the ones that work for you!
Will and Kate left Georgie with nanny in order to attend church - why is this news? Because they went to church or because they left the baby with his nanny? Or because they left the house together?
Coffee this morning in my Disney Mini Plush mug with the 7 Dwarfs.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 22

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Moadim L'Simcha! Happy Second Day of Chol Hamoed! The weather rocks! 
Happy 25th Anniversary to my family! 25 years in this wonderful country!
Feline companions were extra frisky over the Holidays - George kept demanding his due, and Sniff kept running all over the place and emitting battle cries. Now they are both quietly sleeping - Sniff in the cat house, and George on my bed.
Happy Belated Birthday to Hermione Granger Weasley!
My e-mail keeps bombarding me with offers for the singles over 50 - ah, go to hell and stay there!
FB, on the other hand, keeps suggesting that I join a group called "Frum Divorce" - Zuck, I was never married, you crazy bastard!
Currently trending at #1 is Mila Kunis - because she is "tiring of divorce drama"; well, how about not messing up with a married guy next time - even if, according to their former co-star Laura Prepon, he was her first kiss? And if they were so hung up on each other, why did Ashton marry someone else? Sowing wild oats?
Fergie and Josh Duhamel are still in the top ten after they shared the pictures of their baby a few days ago - I guess the baby was extra cute.
According to some journalists, during her latest performance Miley proved once again that she got a lot of talent - for some reason, she still had to do it half naked.
Rihanna is trending at #5 because she posed with "protected primates" in Thailand, after which local police arrested people for allegedly "peddling protected primates" - nice going, Rihanna!
It looks like a lot of fans didn't want R-Patz as Edward because of his bushy eyebrows - like, seriously?!! That's so easily corrected!
"Carbs that are good for you" - oh, for pete's sake, give me a break, will you?!! Food is good for you, period! Just eat a variety of it and don't overeat.
"4 Reasons Chocolate is Good For Your Health" - only 4?!! Hang those researchers if they don't come up with at least 10!
Coffee this morning in my striped glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 17

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is fantastic! George is getting impossible in his old age: apparently, now you have to mix his food with a bit of water and mush it up for him; plus, his plate has to be just so and not so. Also, he gave us a bit of a scare yesterday as we could not locate him for a few hours - turns out he managed to hide himself really well in my room. Sniff is extra frisky (due probably to the good weather); he runs around like crazy all the time and issues his battle cry more than normal.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual.
Thanks to my romance reading, I am learning more about diamonds - as had no idea before what Asscher cut diamond is.
Today is a very special day for me: the fourth Hebrew anniversary of being hit by a bus and getting up with only light bruises. Thank you, Father!!
As we all know, yesterday there was a deadly shooting in DC.
Today is Constitution Day.
Does either show in top ten? If you answered no, you get a gold star.
Trending at #1 is someone called Kim Zolciak - no idea who that one is. The reason she is so popular right now is because she showed off her "baby bump in tiny bikini". Congratulations! Now that everyone have seen it, the world can spin on its axis again.
Trending at #5 is Gold-plated Lamborghini - no comment.
Trending at #7 is Jaden Smith, because he "Finds Wisdom In Everybody Dropping Out Of School" - I am sure that's the message black youth of today is desperate for.
Speaking of which, Mark Wahlberg turned out to be another celebrity who never finished high school - sort of explains the general high IQ of the modern day Hollywood and their political "activism".
In the news of fashion: Timberlands are making a comeback due to Rihanna, Kanye, and Khloe K. - at least this accomplishment is harmless.
Brad Pitt finally got a decent haircut and a shave - about time! Congratulations!
"The secrets behind Shakira's famous hips" - spare me!
Take out your hankies, people - Miley and Liam are no longer engaged, sob, sob!
Another celeb couple shared their baby's pictures with the world - this time it's Fergie and Josh Duhamel. Shame on me - I totally forgot that they were hitched to each other.
"Justin Bieber unlikely to star in Batman vs. Superman" - rejoice, oh geeks!
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 16

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather is nice, even if a bit rainy. George is getting to be extra whiny; right now he finally quieted down on Baby Bro's bed. Sniff was extra frisky, ran all other the place, collided with my Parisian dancer Barbie, sat in the bathtub for a bit, picked up a few fights with his roommate, and is finally winding down on my bed.
As of today I am the only person I know who is immune to the Candy Crash Saga addiction.
Barbarians arriving in our fair city really need a crash course on how to behave on the subway; the same goes for the local grown barbarians.
Breaking news of the hour: at least 12 people have been gunned down in Washington, DC - expect the anti-gun lobby slither out into the sun in 5, 4, 3...
Of course, that's not what's trending at #1, oh no. The person trending at @1 is Bill Cosby - because he was talking about "black culture"; the biggest oxymoron in the American history, right before "equal opportunity employer".
Trending at #2 are Nick and Vanessa Lachey, who are celebrating their son's first birthday - aw, happy birthday, little guy!
Trending at #4 is January Jones, who is NOT dating Miley's fiance - phew, a load off our shoulders!
Iran wants to send a Persian cat into space - why don't they just space their fanatical mullahs and be done with it?
Some network or other got an exclusive with Lamar Odom's mistress - a journalistic scoop of the century, that one is.
Bill Gates is once again the richest man in the world at 72 billion USD - take that, Mexico!
Bieber decided to give coronaries to some die hard Batman fans - he posted a picture on Instagram alluding that he might be getting a part of Robin in the forthcoming Batman vs. Superman movie - really cruel joke played on the geeks, man, really cruel!
Prince Phillip finally got to meet Georgie - aw, how sweet!
Also, Kate's new biography claims that she was a complete tomboy - well, she grew up.
Coffee this morning in my Aruba mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 15

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Shana Tova! The weather rocks! I hope your Yom Kippur was as uplifting as mine. Here is to hoping for a fantastic, happy, healthy, sweet, blessed, prosperous, and peaceful year! In honor of the last High Holidays before Rabbi Cohen's retirement, our congregation had a whole hour and a half break before Mussaf and Mincha!! 
Sniff slept with me for the past two nights, which is pretty unusual for him; but then he would transfer into the cat house towards the morning and greet me with his usual "I am the master, puny human" look. George got a whole bunch of wet food and is getting even whinier in his old age. Right now he is taking a quiet bath on my bed.
One of my idiot barbarian neighbours is cooking bones - welcome to the hood.
Happy Anniversary to my family! Today makes 25 years on the Hebrew calendar of our arrival to this blessed country in the smoking compartment of the Pan Am flight from Rome. Thank you, Father, for this blessing!
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is currently trending at #1 because she started at Fox and claims that it "feels like home" - well, duh!
Emma Watson's hairdo is in the news again - this time it's a "fresh take on a classic bob" and one of the "must-have looks for fall"; thanks, but I am staying with my present hairdo.
"Aniston dares in strapless dress" - wow, what a heart-stopping headline! But why is this news? It's not like it's the first time she put on a strapless dress...just saying.
Bieber was "spotted with a brunette" who is supposed to be a singer who is supposed to have been his girlfriend before Selena - I wonder by what moniker he went before Jelena.
"Krispy Kreme changes its doughnut strategy" - how about to just coming to New York, for starters?
And, finally, there was a speculation about Kate's hair - are they naturally curly or not; the conclusion was that, yes, they are. People must have really boring lives.
Coffee this morning in my funky clear glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 12

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Thursday! The weather is blah, but, hopefully, this will be the last day of it.
Sniff is back in the cat house; this morning I woke up to him looking down at me like a Egyptian deity once more. George got a new batch of food (which actually smells like turkey) and keeps savoring it. He also got 3 new Amazon boxes to enjoy.
There was a street vendor on 47th Street selling arba minim - man, I love this country!
A few days ago I asked my roommate what the heck Tetris was, because I had no blinking idea. He demonstrated it to me, after which he ended up playing Tetris for about half a hour - man, am a a bad influence.
Currently trending at #1 is Powerball - because, hey, the last drawing was on 9/11, and that was very, very important.
Trending at #2 is January Jones - it looks like Miley's current fiance was January's boy friend at one point, and they were caught sexting. Oh, what a tangled web!
Trending at #4 is Abigail Breslin - because her current co-stars did not recognize her. Yea, I wouldn't have recognized her either, judging by the latest pictures.
"Wine Dangers for Women" - drinking an extra glass and forgetting what kind of jerks and mama's boys guys are?
The reason Dallas residents are the happiest in America might be because "their spiritual beliefs are a positive guiding force to them" - duh!!!
Charlie Sheen never graduated high school - which shows once again that working hard on your education does not pay.
Patrick Stewart tied the know this weekend, with Ian McKellan officiating - man, oh, man, this one I really wanted to see!
"Vatican's #2" was "hinting" that celibacy is "open for discussion" - how, um, enterprising of them.
Will is quitting his military career - well, good luck with fatherhood, your highness!
And, finally, his wife "stunned" at her first red carpet appearance after giving birth - well, I don't think people expected anything less of her.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 10

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Tuesday! The weather is a bit iffy, but still not bad. George wanted to complain in the morning, but then ate and drank what he had, and is now sleeping on my bed. Sniff was hiding under Baby Bro's bike, and is now sleeping on his pillow and impersonating a sausage.
Street cleaning machines took on the mantel from the crazy upstairs this morning.
Ina was doing two shows in a row on grilling - come on, lady, it's fall already!
Currently trending at #1 is Sharon Osbourne, because she "revealed an old fling with Jay Leno" - juicy and earth-shattering.
Trending at #2 is Miley Cyrus, because "'Wrecking Ball' breaks most-viewed video record" - I don't even want to know what it is and who wrecked it.
Taylor Swift is denying the rumors about the video with J Lo - I really don't care one way or the other.
Yet another celebrity baby entered the world: Mario Lopez and his wife had a baby boy. Mazal Tov to them and good luck to the poor kid!
Another Victoria's Secret model came out to claim that she is "no size 0" and has the body "of a real woman" - yea, right! Every single VS model has a body of a real woman, my aching coccyx!
70% of all online porn access happens between 9 am and 5 pm - wow! Go, guys! I also wonder who was collecting this interesting data.
And, finally, Kate dropped by McDonald's on her way to the Kensington Palace, " turning every diner's experience into a Happy Meal" - nice.
Coffee this morning in my black glass from Target.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 9

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! Shavua Tov! Shana Tova! I hope all of you had great Holiday and wish all of you a great, happy, healthy, sweet, prosperous, and blessed New Year! The weather is almost rocking for this time of the year - and I don't remember the last time I was able to deal without A/C on Rosh Hashana.
For the inquiring minds - there are sixty five Barbies in my collection.
Both George and Sniffles are enjoying the fresh air that comes from the open kitchen window; they also enjoy observing the local fauna. However, George gets scared when he sees someone on the outside (Baby Bro claims that he sees ghosts); Sniff, however, recognizes us through the window and tries to snuggle through the mesh.
The crazy upstairs is up to her usual stuff.
Currently trending at #2 is Taylor Swift, because she is producing a new single with J Lo - oh, golly! Really don't want to see this one.
Reese Witherspoon supposedly "stunned" at the premiere of her new movie - OK, the dress was cute and she usually looks adorable, but I would not call it "stunning".
Some kind of experts claim that Whole Foods, Walmart, Costco, and Target make mayo that's as good as Hellman's, or that we would be "hard pressed to taste the difference" - scurrilous lies! Hellman's can't be beat!
"What to expect from Apple's iPhone event" - a lot of crazy Apple junkies, what else?
Rodman is making his third trip to North Korea - can he stay there already?
Sandra Bullock claims that she feels she does not deserve her Oscar for the Blind Side and she will be trying to prove herself for the rest of her life - chill, Sandra! Just look at James Cameron - he definitely did not deserve his, yet it did not prevent him from preening like a peacock and yelling that he is the king of the world.
"Justin Bieber debuts new 'mustache'" - spare me!
Prince Andrew accepted an apology from police after he was mistaken for an intruder in the Buckingham Palace - should have just shouted allah akbar, and the police would have stood down right away.
And, finally, according to Vanity Fair, Kate, backed by Will, defied the royal orders regarding Georgie, and made her own decisions - good for her! Considering how well her father in law turned out to be, I totally don't blame her.
Coffee this morning in my huge Pooh and Friends mugs.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 2

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Monday! The weather remains blah-y - hopefully, not for long. Sniff was extra frisky yesterday and decided to run across my dresser - luckily for him, he did not break anything. George continues with his whining. Now they are both snoozing in their respective fave beds.
The constant barrage of voting ads has only one message for me "Man, this city is in deep doo doo!"
Currently trending at #1 is Khloe Kardashian who tweeted that she is not made of steel after her dear hubby was arrested for DUI - well, being constantly assaulted by the news of her dear family also requires the nerves of steel. Just dump him already and move on!
Trending at #3 is Jamie-Lynn Sigler, who joins the parade of newly minted celeb parents and shared the picture of her newborn boy - well, at least baby news are cute and sweet.
"Cher's romances through the years" - spare me, please!
Lava Lamp celebrates its 50th birthday - happy birthday, lamp!
Sweet potatoes are higher in potassium than bananas - I don't care, I am still not eating them.
"Speculation is rampant that habitually shirtless Justin Bieber is transitioning from pretty-boy pop star to hip-hop" - well, if that is true, he is going to hang out with some really great people and add more class to their already impeccable behavior.
Kate's sister Pippa kept floating in the news last night because there are rumors of her being engaged - and not to Prince Harry, like a lot of people speculated just last year.
And, finally, Will and Kate choose the first godparent for Georgie - one of Will's friends, who also happens to be a night club owner. Interesting choice, that.
Coffee this morning in my huge Disney Pooh and Friends mug.

MORNING UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 1

Good Morning, peeps! Happy Sunday! Shavua Tov! Wishing all of you a fantastic week! The weather is still August-y, but, hopefully, not for long. Felines are sleeping in their usual spots: George on my bed, and Sniff on Baby Bro's - in direct opposition to the official ownership. 
Happy First of September! By my calculations, the Hogwarts Express is about to reach its destination - good luck in your new school year, young witches and wizards!
FB is now suggesting I follow Debbie Wasserman Schultz - Zuckerberg, stop pushing your political agenda already!
In the news today:
Kate Bosworth got married - Mazal Tov!
Reese Witherspoon inspired a whole article on her handbag collection - bombshell news indeed.
A woman who was recently traveling on Air India claimed that her entertainment unit insulted her by flashing the message "Lie low ... Sit down you idiot!" - I think someone just needs to acquire a sense of humor.
A new study claims that wolfs howl when they get separated from the pack because they miss their special companion - aw! I guess wolfs make better mates than humans do.
Egyptian authorities detained a migratory bird under suspicion of spying; the veterinary experts that were called in explained that the electronic device attached to the bird was neither a bomb or a spying device, but rather a tracker attached by scientists. At present the bird still remains in jail pending the permission from the prosecutors - I guess there is no cure for paranoid stupidity.
And, finally, Kate made her first public appearance after giving birth - no snide comments so far from either Guardian or local feminists.
Coffee this morning in my Disney Dalmatian Spots mug.